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Hop online against any rando in NBA 2K and you're liable to find yourself squared off against the Miami Heat or Oklahoma City Thunder.
I mean, it's only natural to arm yourself with the best weapons available, right? But that's not how gentlemen (or gentlewomen) should fight. Contests between the above teams typically devolve into hoisted jumpers from LeBron and Durant or reckless forays to the rim by Westbrook and Wade. Is that really how we want to play our online basketball? No: it is not. We are gamers of honor.
And so I'm here with the help of CBS Sports' Zach Harper (whom you may recognize from, you know, ACTUALLY BEING IN THE GAME in MyCAREER's social media function) to outline the terms of a gentlemen's agreement to follow a certain etiquette in picking your team for online play. Superstar-laden, shot-jacking teams get a pinky down as unacceptable, a sure sign that you are a rogue without honor. Poorly constructed, rebuilding or otherwise frustrating teams get a pinky up, deeming them worthy of play among friends who value competition and suffering.
As with any element of high society (like wine pairing or interior design), much depends on how the elements interact. Roughly, there are teams that are just off-limits, ones that are always acceptable, and then those in the middle that might depend on the match-up. Won’t you join us for tea and jumpers?
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Sacramento Kings
Zach Harper: This is a really intriguing team for 2K use. Tyreke Evans was kind of impossible to stop in earlier games if you were good with the dribbling moves. Now that he's gone and they're a more traditional lineup, you can go toward working DeMarcus Cousins inside and bombing from deep with Marcus Thornton. If Ben McLemore is as talented in this game as we all thought he was before the NCAA tournament in real life, this could be a great, frustrating giant-slayer in the 2K world. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: "Giant slayer" is a great way to describe this team. There's been a pervasive cloud hanging over the Kings for the last few years due both to the possibility of the team relocating and a certain creeping sense that no one had a very good attitude. It looks like McLemore is going to be a fun player to use with none of the real-world shrinking that's been attributed to him and Cousins is straight paint death here. Just don't be tempted to shoot jumpers with him, no matter what the little DeMarcus in your head says. Pinky up.
Phoenix Suns
Zach Harper: Stop it. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: It really is almost like the Suns are trying to design a team that you can safely pick for online play. They don't even have Michael Beasley anymore, who was always actually very good in NBA 2K. Bledsoe's all right, but his size is a liability and who's he going to pass to? Shannon Brown? Malcolm Lee? The Morris twins are great late round picks in a Fantasy Association, but that's about all. Maybe Alex Len is good someday (although I suspect he's actually a hockey goalie), but not this year. Raise them pinkies up.
Los Angeles Clippers
Zach Harper: Chris Paul pick-and-rolls with DeAndre Jordan and Blake Griffin were already kind of impossible to defend. Now you're adding shooters alongside them with Jared Dudley and J.J. Redick? Will the team get a boost in attributes just with Doc Rivers being on the sidelines? Add in Jamal Crawford and his impossible to defend arsenal of moves and areas to score the ball from and this team should be completely hands-off. Pinky down.
Steve McPherson: Yeah no. The Clippers right now are the blue meth of basketball video games. Pinky down.
Los Angeles Lakers
Zach Harper: This is a weird one. Kobe Bryant has always been pretty much off limits in situations like online play amongst honorable gamers because he's just too good. And with Steve Nash's perfect release in this game to go along with Bryant in the backcourt, this team should be unfair. But are you really going to get mad at attacking Chris Kaman over and over? Nick Young is always a sneaky option in 2K games as well because they recognize his scoring skill, as they should. I'll say pinky up but I can be convinced of a pinky down, Kobe's not fair scenario.
Steve McPherson: Between Kobe and Nick Young, I think this is a pinky down situation. I cannot overemphasize how unfairly good at shooting Nick Young is. He. Makes. Everything. And anything he can't, Kobe can. He's still the king of twirling around and taking shots that have no right to go in yet drop softly through the twine. There's also the general rep of this team. Just like you can keep picking some teams long after they become good, because are still going to look at you askance for picking the Lakers even if they're on the downslope.
Golden State Warriors
Zach Harper: You could get away with this team last year but the Warriors messed around and officially became too good for the 2K series unless you're under one of those agreements with friends to test out the top teams in the league, just to see how they feel. Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson are likely to be crazy unfair from downtown. Add in Andre Iguodala's all-around play, Andrew Bogut's defense, and Harrison Barnes baptizing guys on the regular and this team is just too good. However, you can convince me of putting pinky up just because you'll get to see Kent Bazemore celebrations. In fact, that swayed me. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: Get out of here, Zach. Not only are Curry and Thompson unfairly good 3-point shooters, they have very easy shooting strokes to master. Adding Iguodala gives you a guy you can stop people with -- if you're defensively inclined -- and Bogut's defense all by itself should be enough to protect the paint stoutly. Not even Bazemore can redeem this team for me. Pinky emphatically down.
Utah Jazz
Steve McPherson: The Jazz were surreptitiously deep last season with Derrick Favors, Paul Milsap, Al Jefferson and Enes Kanter all capable of being difference makers in the frontcourt. The departures of Milsap and Jefferson probably help them in 2K terms as far as cleaning up the rotation and with potential Rookie of the Year in Trey Burke and one of my personal favorite underrated wings in Gordon Hayward, the Jazz might be a lot of fun to play with yet still not great. Thus: pinky up.
Zach Harper: You're a really big Gordon Hayward fan, aren't you? Lobs to Derrick Favors can be cool but the entire value of using this team against human opponents will depend on how good Trey Burke is in the game. If he's not all that effective then this will be a rough team to employ. Hayward is fun but there's not a lot else going in the way of shot creation. Pinky up.
Portland Trail Blazers
Steve McPherson: The Blazers have some really dangerous players. LaMarcus Aldridge is one of the best pick and pop players in the game, plus rebounds better than in real life. Damian Lillard will get a ratings boost this year and was already very good last year. Nicolas Batum can rain threes and is a good on-ball defender. Their weakness last year was their bench, which meant you could build a lead with them and then surrender it quick. But Robin Lopez, Thomas Robinson and Mo Williams have shored up the bench. Another solid middle of the pack pick that no one should judge you for. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum in the backcourt. LaMarcus Aldridge and the athletic Thomas Robinson playing around the rim. Nicolas Batum in the corner and their bench has become a nightmare to deal with if you're into switching up lineups. Mo Williams has one of those sneaky effective release points in the 2K series and they can play any style, whether you want to go fast or play a slow pace. Destroy everybody with Lillard or go about it in a more team-oriented way. Pinky up.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Steve McPherson: Both how good and how fun the Wolves are going to be in NBA 2K14 hinges largely on how well the new passing mechanics work. In at least one trailer we saw Ricky Rubio dishing a sweet no-look, and if the no-look is an actual weapon this year, this team will be a lot of fun but likely still not so good you'll look like a frontrunner for picking them. 2K has a hard time capturing both sides of Kevin Love's game because they can't seem to really represent his skill with getting rebounding position. Kevin Martin's release is hard to get a handle on, but it's possible if you master it and Love and Rubio play more like their real world counterparts that you can take people by surprise with this team. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: There are so many offensive options with this team as Steve noted between Rubio's passing, Love's all-around scoring, Nikola Pekovic scoring inside, and the bevy of wings they have at their disposal. You even have guys that can attack the rim and dunk on opponents with Chase Budinger and Derrick Williams. But Kevin Martin's shooting motion is very easy to defend, much like when you go against Shawn Marion. Plus, this team is a nightmare for opponents on offense and will likely be a nightmare to use on defense. Pinky up.
Denver Nuggets
Steve McPherson: Who's on this team again? Losing to the Warriors shook the Nuggets so badly they embarked on a mini-rebuild this offseason, ditching Coach of the Year George Karl and Executive of the Year Masai Ujiri. Not that you care when it comes to picking them in NBA 2K14. Ty Lawson is still one of the quickest guards in the league, JaVale McGee is still better when it's you and not JaVale in his head and Danilo Gallinari is still a great shooter and taller than most small forwards. In spite of all that, I can't see getting too much grief for picking the Nuggets if you're matched up against teams like the Hawks or Grizzlies. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: This team can still be crazy fun. Ty Lawson is lightning quick in real life and these games. Pick-and-rolls with JaVale McGee and Lawson or Kenneth Faried and Lawson can be deadly. Having Gallinari to use because knee problems don't exist in the video game world is nice and you can even unleash a little Nate Robinson on unsuspecting foes for quick offensive bursts. But this team isn't putting the fear into any of your opponents online because of their lack of outside shooting. Pinky up; just don't use them against the Warriors.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Steve McPherson: People might be wondering if the Thunder have taken a step back after losing first James Harden and then Kevin Martin, but that doesn't mean picking them is all right. You've still got one of the best players for online iso ball in Russell Westbrook plus the otherworldly shooting of Kevin Durant. Kendrick Perkins is more effective in the game than real life because of his Brick Wall signature skill, and Serge Ibaka's defense and solid midrange game would make him a star on a team without Westbrook and Durant. So nah: you're not picking them. Pinky down.
Zach Harper: What if I promise to only try to score with Hasheem Thabeet? Then can I use them until crunch time and unleash Durant? Pinky down.
San Antonio Spurs
Zach Harper: This team is surprisingly difficult to utilize in 2K games for those that just want to dominate. Coincidentally enough, to truly destroy opponents with this team, you have to believe in pick-and-rolls that lead to ball movement that lead to the extra pass that lead to an open shot. To dominate with the Spurs, you have to play like the Spurs and a lot of online players would rather go iso ball. Assuming the 2K producers watched Manu Ginobili last season, you can expect his ability to be great in the game to reduce considerably. If that's the case, I think this team is surprisingly usable in online play. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: The biggest impediment to playing the Spurs well online is that you're going to want to slow the game down and actually let plays develop while your opponent is likely going to be trying to push the tempo as much as possible. The temptation to play that way is great. Again, this breaks down into whether you're playing against people who know basketball or just people who play video games. The latter crowd will probably look at the Spurs and say, "They were in the Finals! That's cheap!" The former will understand the challenge you're setting yourself. Ultimately, I think the Spurs are pinky up so long as you're not playing someone who's picked the Bobcats or 76ers.
New Orleans Pelicans
Zach Harper: This team is going to be a big problem in 2K14. Anthony Davis was phenomenal to use in last year's game and can protect the rim and finish at the rim. Ryan Anderson may have the greatest 3-point shot in 2K history (sorry, Michael Redd in 2K5). Tyreke Evans' ability to break down the defense, Eric Gordon's pull-up jumper, and Jrue Holiday's all-around game turn this perimeter into a wrecking crew in 2K. Luckily, this team isn't quite good enough yet to really end up being unfair but they're on their way. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: I'm with Zach: This team is actually the thing video game basketball dreams are made of. Davis anchors the frontcourt, but you should immediately put in Ryan Anderson if he isn't starting to stretch the floor. Add in Holiday (the only player shoring up the awful 76ers last year), Evans (whose positional struggles have largely been moot in the NBA 2K series) and Gordon's shooting and finishing and you've got an archetypal 4-out, 1-in team. Luckily, everyone still thinks this team is rotten, so you can pick them with impunity. Pinky up.
Memphis Grizzlies
Zach Harper: This team is really good but they're never that fun to play with in 2K. Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph are good options, and the post game versatility in last year's game makes the possibilities with them endless, but the lack of fun perimeter players really limits the enjoyment you can have. Maybe the addition of Mike Miller will change that, simply because his release point is idiot proof in these games. I'm giving them a pinky up and wondering why you want to grit and grind in pixel form.
Steve McPherson: The improved blocking in NBA 2K14 makes this team a little more fun than they might have been otherwise, but the enduringly touchy rebounding means that Gasol and Randolph are limited in their utility both offensively and defensively. Mike Conley is surreptitiously a great point guard, though, and I think the ramped up defense might be enough to tip the balance away from the Grizz as an acceptable choice. Pinky down.
Houston Rockets
Zach Harper: Sorry, folks. This team is going to be far too good to just select at the drop of a hat. You're going to have to be in an agreed upon matchup amongst another heavy hitter just so you two can have some big guns to play with in online play. You could get away with them last year and wreck the opposing defense with James Harden and his band of shooters, but adding Dwight Howard for the lob off those Harden breakdowns turns this into an elite team, especially when you factor in Patrick Beverley and his ability to take the top guard on the opposing team out of the game (literally). Pinky down.
Steve McPherson: Last season you could get away with picking the Rockets because Jeremy Lin wasn't dominant and neither was Omer Asik. Basically, all you had was Harden and a digital Chandler Parsons who didn't play as well as his real-life counterpart. This season, things have changed considerably. Again, with free throws not being as regular a thing as in the actual NBA, Dwight Howard should be even more dominant, especially given that his virtual back should be in tip-top shape. Plus he won't complain about being in the pick-and-roll no matter how many times you call it. Just PNR them to death all day with Harden and Howard and you'll be called cheap, rightly so. Pinky down.
Dallas Mavericks
Zach Harper: This team is going to be a lot of fun in 2K. They're not nearly good enough to be an unfair option and will most likely have a ton of weapons that are easy to use. Dirk Nowitzki is always going to be absurd in these games and Monta Ellis not only have it all but he has a lot of ability to break down the defense in this game. He may be frustrating in real life but he's fun as hell in the 2K realm. You also have an outside shooter in Jose Calderon to stretch the floor and enough defense in Shawn Marion and Sam Dalembert to protect the other half of the court. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: Yes, Dirk Nowitzki is still one of the best big men in the game but he's also been tricky hard to use for a while in 2K, ever since they got his signature long windup in there. On the flip side, Ellis is a terrible drain on teams in real life but has been video game gold for as long as I can remember. The net result of balancing that equation when it comes to the acceptability of picking the Mavs online is that you're probably fine. No one expects this team to be very good in real life, but they'll be a flexible but not too dominant option in 2K14. Pinky up.
Orlando Magic
Steve McPherson: Yes, you can play as the Orlando Magic. No one would ever dream of judging you for picking the team that's still picking up the pieces from Dwight Howard's exit before last season. But a word of warning: They're just not going to be any fun whatsoever. Some other teams (Cavs, Wizards) have one guy who's super fun to use, at least, but here you just get the insistently middle-of-the-road play of Arron Afflalo, Tobias Harris, Jameer Nelson, Andrew Nicholson and others. I mean, Nicholson's actually a pretty nice player, but could you pick him out of a lineup of created players? Maybe Victor Oladipo turns out to be nice, but even if so his game likely doesn't equate to very much video game fun. I mean, there's picking bad teams and then there's picking BAD teams. Pinky up, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Zach Harper: Let's pray Victor Oladipo is a valid point guard option in this game because trying to set up an offense with Jameer Nelson just isn't fun. Ask Dwight Howard. Outside of that, Tobias Harris could be a fun mismatch in this games and you can own the boards with Nikola Vucevic. But the guard play is going to be a bit rough. Pinky up.
Charlotte Bobcats
Steve McPherson: You can always pick the Bobcats. Always. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: Why do you hate yourself? Pinky up. Actually, it's not quite as bad as it used to be. You used to try to find ways to make Gerald Wallace a force and eventually resorted to throwing up bombs with Stephen Jackson and Matt Carroll. Now? You can slash to the bucket with Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Jeff Taylor, and Gerald Henderson. You can also balance out the offense a bit with Al Jefferson, who has always been a fun weapon in the post in these games. And breaking down defenders with Kemba Walker should be easier after last season. There are just much more fun options.
Washington Wizards
Steve McPherson: In video game terms, the Wizards are one of the best bad teams. John Wall has always been fun to use, Martell Webster can hit 3s, Bradley Beal was decent last year even as a rookie. Al Harrington is an underrated offensive option, as is Trevor Ariza, whose defense is good and whose offense has always been better virtually than literally. If the Wizards start making actual noise in the Eastern Conference this season and sneak into the playoffs, this team will suddenly seem a lot cheaper online but until then, they're legit. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: This is not only a completely fair team to use in 2K but it's also sneaky fun. John Wall is a blur in real life and in this game. His ability to break down off the dribble and turn outlet passes into Mike D'Antoni's ideal time for a possession is always a fun thing to implement in the 2K series. Throw in the Bradley Beal-Martell Webster outside game and the bevy of wing athletes you can throw lobs to and this team becomes pretty underrated. I give it a pinky up.
Atlanta Hawks
Steve McPherson: The Hawks are a real borderline team. Hand it to someone playing the Heat with them? Kudos. But you're not going to feel very good about beating the Bucks when you've got shooters like Kyle Korver and John Jenkins, a frontline like Paul Millsap and Al Horford, and ballhandlers like Jeff Teague and Lou Williams. Plus, if Dennis Schroeder is even half as fun in 2K14 as he appears to be in real life, that's a lot of fun. I think they're acceptable so long as your opponent isn't trying to go bargain basement with the Bobcats. Pinky up.
Zach Harper: This is a fantastic middle of the pack 2K team and should be fair game in almost any matchup. With the 3-point shooters on this team and the fun frontcourt of Al Horford and Paul Millsap, this is an incredibly dangerous 2K14 team. You've got good but not great guard options with Jeff Teague, Dennis Schroeder, and Lou Williams. It's said you don't have Ivan Johnson for bench intimidation anymore, but his spirit will surely live on. Pinky is definitely up.
Miami Heat
Steve McPherson: Pinky down. I don't know what else there is to say. Picking the Heat in 2K14 is the equivalent of parking diagonally and taking up two spaces, the equivalent of bringing 17 items into the express lane, of standing in a lunch line and not knowing what you want to order when you get to the counter, of still riding a bike with training wheels when you're 25.
Zach Harper: Couldn't be more pinky down here unless you're under an agreement to use the Oklahoma City Thunder to see just how good the matchup can be. But you shouldn't have to bring the Thunder to a gun fight just in order to match an overzealous and under adventurous 2K player.
Milwaukee Bucks
Zach Harper: Are you afraid of video game versions of O.J. Mayo and Brandon Knight? Neither am I. Even with trying to get shots to fall over the outstretched limbs of Larry Sanders and John Henson, I'll take my chances against someone wanting to come at me with the Bucks. Pinky is WAY up.
Steve McPherson: I've always loved Mayo in 2K, but even I'm not convinced he's a legitimate threat on this team. Honestly, I expect this to be one of the better teams to play as if you're still trying to be honorable. Larry Sanders is going to affect a lot of shots -- again, remember that new blocking mechanic -- and Mayo really can shoot the lights out when he has space. Ekpe Udoh's a sneaky good defender because of his Signature Skills and Ersan Ilyasova's a sneaky good stretch 4 option. This is a team you can pick without anyone raising eyebrows, yet they might actually be pretty fun to use. Pinky up. Bonus: Getting to hear Clark Kellogg say Giannis Antetokounmpo.
Indiana Pacers
Zach Harper: The Pacers had the best defense in the league last year and with the new shot blocking attempts in 2K14, I'd imagine trying to score on Roy Hibbert, if you're able to get past Paul George and the rest of the Pacers, will be really difficult. On top of that, George is going to be pretty unfair as we try to find a balance between his issues putting the ball on the floor in real life and the acceptance of him as the next big thing on the wing in the NBA. This team gets a pinky down just because the games you're playing will be frustrating.
Steve McPherson: Oh my God I forgot about the new blocking in 2K14 for a second and thought this team might be pinky up but yes: Roy Hibbert could really shine this year. Plus Paul George has long been one of the best wings in 2K and stayed that way even after they nerfed his shooting motion last year. The Pacers biggest work this offseason went into their refurbished bench, which should help in the real world, but online games always lean hard on the starters and Indiana's starters are as good as ever. Also: David West midrange jumpers all day.
Detroit Pistons
Zach Harper: Detroit Lob City. Forget about the new Robocop remake; this NBA 2K Pistons team is going to be the best thing to hit Detroit since Rasheed Wallace. The struggles of Josh Smith's jumper in real life are usually not too cumbersome in video games and this team's ability to toss lobs all over the court is going to be fun to go against. You'll have to protect the rim and force the duo of Rodney Stuckey and Brandon Jennings to make outside shots. Pinky up just for the sheer bizarreness of this roster.
Steve McPherson: I'm very much on the fence with this team. Andre Drummond was sorely underrated last year -- a mistake not likely to be repeated this season -- and Greg Monroe was one of my favorite big men in the game. Throw in Brandon Jennings (who's always been kind of silly good in 2K) and Josh Smith and this team might be legitimately good to great, especially since Drummond's biggest weakness -- free throws -- are not as much of an issue in 2K. But: Teams built around big men usually fall to smaller quicker teams on the digital hardwood. If you go out there with Smith, Drummond and Monroe on your frontline, you might get run out of the gym. For now, pinky up, but my midseason they might be pinky down.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Zach Harper: You have to appreciate how fun these Cavaliers will be in this game. Andrew Bynum won't suffer bowling injuries as the game is loading so he'll be available for play. If your opponent chooses the Cavs, you'll have a legit inside presence to contend with when you're chasing Kyrie Irving around the court, waiting for him to destroy you. While Irving can be filed under the "not fair but legal" section of NBA 2K, the rest of the roster is oddly proportioned and the wings are no guarantee for competency. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: In spite of an at least videogame-great offseason that netted them Anthony Bennett in the draft and Andrew Bynum through free agency, I still think this is a pinky up team. I played them several times last year and Irving is amazing, but if he gets shut down, there isn't a lot of help. Returning Anderson Varejao will make the frontline pretty formidable, but as Zach pointed out, the roster as a whole is weird enough that it will be hard to make a smooth offense come together.
Chicago Bulls
Zach Harper: Derrick Rose won't be sitting out any online games so you should have the full arsenal of the Bulls' roster at your disposal. While the Bulls will be one of the best teams in the league and Rose is borderline unfair in a lot of these affairs, this team's lack of shooting on the perimeter (even with the sneaky deadly Mike Dunleavy) means they're still an acceptable opponent. Jimmy Butler is a good shooter but Luol Deng's release in these games can be pretty troublesome. Throw in the two-handed frisbee toss from 15 feet by Joakim Noah and any time Carlos Boozer gets the ball and they're a great team that is defendable. Pinky up.
Steve McPherson: I'm much more, well, bullish on the Bulls than Zach is. I feel like Rose is enough of a weapon all by himself to make this team a scrub choice. I've disassembled defenses with him alone, so you don't really need to be shooting with Deng or even Butler. Noah's strong defensively -- even with that wonky shot -- and Boozer's always been better as a rebounder and defender in 2K than in real life. Sadly, they've never really captured his triumphant yelling. But no matter: I can't in good conscience say this team is legit for online. Pinky down.
Toronto Raptors
Steve McPherson: Call me crazy, but I think the Raptors might be getting borderline too good to be an acceptable pick. They're still likely to struggle in real life, but Rudy Gay, DerMar DeRozan, Terrence Ross and Jonas Valanciunas? That's a lot of athletic guys who can finish. Gay in particular has been a 2K staple of shooting and dunking for years. And defense hardly matters, right? Oh and I totally forgot they added my favorite NBA 2K secret weapon, Steve Novak. Game over. Pinky down.
Zach Harper: This team is just bad enough to make it an acceptable choice. After the scrutiny Rudy Gay received post-trade last season, I'd imagine his shooting ratings will be tricky to master. Sure, they're going to be fun to attack the basket with because of all the athleticism and Kyle Lowry is always sneaky good in these games, but any sort of decent defensive set-up and ability to defend the ball handler should make it somewhat acceptable to play against these Raptors. Even with Novak in the corner, this team is still a fine choice for an opponent. Not everything can be a cakewalk. Pinky defiantly up.
Philadelphia 76ers
Steve McPherson: As a team that is actively trying to lose games, the 76ers are a legit pick for online competition. They were pretty bad in 2K13 as well, but at least they had Jrue Holiday in a game where a good-shooting ballhandler is near-essential. Still: both Evan Turner and Thaddeus Young are surprisingly nice in NBA 2K -- especially Young, who can hit the 3 in the game -- and Michael Carter-Williams might be fun. If Noel rides the pine for much of the season, expect the real-world Sixers to stink it up, making them a firm pinky up choice for NBA 2K14 online.
Zach Harper: Considering this person does not get Andrew Wiggins in a future roster update if they play with the Sixers, they're getting an obvious pinky up from me here. I'm not sure why you would tank online play in the 2K community, but we all build rosters a different way. Guys like Pierre Jackson (assuming he makes the roster) can be sneaky fun to play with or against in games like 2K and I'd imagine our fun factor and online records will be much improved going against someone rocking the Sixers.
New York Knicks
Steve McPherson: Like Brooklyn, this is a team whose real world fortunes hinge on a lot of things going right but whose video game fortunes hinge on little more than spamming jumpers. Between Melo and J.R. Smith (who will get bumped into the starting lineup by any savvy 2K player), the shot stick is like a little lever that shoots dopamine into your system. Chandler rebounds and blocks shots plus finishes pick and rolls while the spacing problems with Stoudemire are non-existent on the digital hardwood. Now you can also welcome in Bargnani's 3-pt shooting (bound to be better in the game than in real life). Unfair. Pinky down.
Zach Harper: 3-point shooting in the 2K series can be a hairy situation. With bombers like the New York Knicks, you don't have necessarily the old Suns' teams or the current Warriors at your disposal, but you have more than enough firepower to destroy your opponents without ever crossing the 3-point arc. I'll go pinky down unless this person promises to run their offense through Andrea Bargnani.
Brooklyn Nets
Steve McPherson: My pinky could not be any further down on this pick. Age is notoriously poorly represented in NBA 2K, especially when you're talking about a one-off game against an online opponent, meaning that this starting lineup is obscenely stacked with Deron Williams, Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Brook Lopez. Kirilenko's never been a great player in NBA 2K, but he's not a terrible option to bring off the bench for a change of pace. The bottom line is that in video game terms, this team is every bit as unfair as the Heat or Thunder.
Zach Harper: My pinky is actually kind of up for this pick, mostly because people wanting to be the Nets were Nets fans before it was cool to be a Nets fan. They'll rock on high sock like Kerry Kittles in their Keith Van Horn jersey. The only reason I think I'm actually OK with using this team in online play is because I can't fault someone for wanting to use a great point guard to have some fun and Deron Williams qualifies as such. Maybe I've got a sideways pinky?
Boston Celtics
Steve McPherson: To my mind, the Celtics have crossed over from faux-pas pick last year in NBA 2K13 to fo' sho' pick in NBA 2K14, and they might actually be fun. Presuming Rondo's return goes smoothly, he's fun to use but doesn't break the game because he can't shoot, which matters more than passing in NBA 2K -- although the new passing does look pretty sweet. Bradley is actually a surprising amount of fun, plus Lee can shoot the lights out, and I cannot WAIT to see Kelly Olynyk's probably terrifying player model. Basically, the Celtics give you enough to have a good game if you use them well. I give them the pinky up.
Zach Harper: The key to how fun this roster is going to be is whether or not Jeff Green is one of those sneaky incredible players in NBA 2K 14. Ryan Anderson in NBA 2K13 was nearly unstoppable behind the arc and if Green can be 80% of that while adding the ability to baptize defenders at the rim, it might make up for the fact that you're getting blocked every time you try to go up using Brandon Bass, Jared Sullinger or Kris Humphries. I'm going pinky up because I don't think they'll make Green that good.