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Jersey Shore is known for its half-wits and lushes, and TLC's wonderfully intrusive programming for its people with afflictions we never even knew existed, but no show has produced as many detestable humans as CBS's Survivor. Survivor's fool-proof business model places a bunch of would-be survivalists in a desolate locale where they compete for a payday and willingly reveal everything that is ugly and agitating about themselves, and in turn, humanity at large.
With Survivor launching into it's 24th season (!) this past Wednesday, Complex decided to look back at some of the most memorable/irritating contestants who've successfully squeezed their way under our skin. These are The 25 Most Annoying Survivor Contestants. If you find yourself reading with clenched teeth and hair in hands, don't say we didn't warn you.
Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)
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Shannon "Shambo" Waters
25. "Shambo" Waters, Survivor: Samoa
Shambo was a nice girl, she really was. But that doesn't make up for her haphazardly careless way of playing the game. I mean, really Shambo, losing fishing gear and chickens in a single season? What kind of Tribe Leader does that? And we're not even going to go into your whole Dr. Doolittle-esque attempt to lead the chickens back.
But clucking aside, her most frusturating move had to have been when she gave away the location of the Immunity Idol. That's not nice, it's just plain dumb.
Heidi Strobel
24. Heidi Strobel, Survivor: The Amazon
Heidi may be best remembered for her willingness to strip for peanut butter during a challenge (a move that scored her a Playboy spread with fellow stripee Jenna Morasca), but we'll always remember her as the annoying dumb blonde who almost flirted her way to Sole Survivor status.
Rather than strategizing, Holly was always seen bragging about her looks (OK, we admit she's easy on the eyes) and her strategic prowess. If by "strategic" you mean distracting people from your lack of strategy with shameless flirting and the occasional bout of nudity, then yes, Heidi, you were strategic. But actually playing the game well? Not so much.
Ghandia Johnson
23. Ghandia Johnson, Survivor: Thailand
As far as we see it, Ghandia was only good for two things: crying and manipulating, and sometimes both at once. When she blew the immunity challenge because she failed to conquer the sliding puzzle, she unveiled the water works either because she was emotionally fragile, or in an attempt to win the tribe's sympathy and not get voted off, or both. Either way, her whiny move irritated the hell out of us.
But her most ingratiating move by far was her crazy story about how Ted Rogers attempted to dry hump her in her sleep. It seemed fishy at the time, and she later revealed in an interview that she greatly exaggerated what happened just to get ahead. We weren't the least bit surprised.
Lex Van Der Berghe
22. Alexis "Lex" van den Berghe, Survivor: Africa & Survivor: All-Stars
Lex gets our vote as one of the most annoying players because he could dish it, but he couldn't take it. Lex ruthlessly backstabbed teammates Colby, Ethan, and Jerri, and then had the balls to go all cry baby on us when Boston Rob betrayed him.
Lex's most annoying misstep, though, had to be his crusade against Kelly based on his belief she had voted against him. It was only after Kelly was voted off that it was revealed Teresa has done the dirty work, and by then it was too late. Lex had already been cemented as an asshole in our eyes.
Lillian Morris
21. Lillian Morris, Survivor: Pearl Islands
How Lil made it to the final two was beyond us. If playing alongside Jonny Fairplay worked in her favor, we could handle that. But we have a sneaking suspicion that her whole scout uniform somehow convinced people she was actually an honorable person.
Seriously, what the fuck was up with that corny-ass uniform? Just thinking about her and her perpetual on-the-verge of tears face, in that stupid outfit, makes us want to rip those badges off one by one. Yes, we have that much rage towards her, and yes, we're working through it.
Erik Reichenbach
20. Erik Reichenbach, Survivor: Micronesia
It's no coincidence that Erik resembles Napoleon Dynamite. The Surivor contestant, much like his celebrity look-alike, is as dim-witted as they come. After 36 days of smart playing and several immunity challenges under his belt, Erik was looking like a Sole Survior contender, that is, until he got a little cocky.
When Natalie Bolton asked him to give up his immunity to help her out, he actually handed over his neclace, thinking he'd be safe from the remaining women's wrath. He thought wrong, and he was quickly eliminated. The moral of the story here? You're never safe from a woman's wrath!
Sean Kenniff
19. Sean Kenniff, Survivor: Borneo
Some player's techniques grate on us because they're too agressive or manipulative, but Sean's way of playing the game irritated on the basis of, well, its baselessness.
Rather than strategically voting people off, Sean decided to vote people off in alphabetical order! And what's more, he shared this asinine voting system with his castmates, who figured out who he would vote for next and used him towards their own ends, before eventually voting him off (assumedly for his sheer stupidity).
Holly Hoffman
18. Holly Hoffman, Survivor: Nicaragua
Not many people can claim to be a "snail expert," but Holly's claim to fame is just that. The all-knowing blonde forced her tribe to ditch their only protein source due to her assesment that the side-effects of snacking on snails made them unsafe.
It was then that we started to question her sanity, and shortly after, when she heard Dan Lembo call her a bad name and proceeded to fill his $1,600 shoes with sand and toss them into the ocean, our suspicions were confirmed. She tried to explain away her crazy streak, questioning what the game had turned her into, but we were skeptical. Her insanity didn't just surface after four days of playing Survivor; we're pretty sure it was there all along.
Jerri Manthey
17. Jerri Lynn Manthey, Survivor: The Australian Outback, Survivor: All-Stars & Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains
Oh, Jerri. How does it feel to know you will forever go down in history as "the beef jerky girl"? Jerri accussed fellow player Kel Gleason of harboring a stick of beef jerky in his sack during Survivor: The Australian Outback, but the mysterious stick of seasoned meat was never found.
As annoying as Jerri's wild accusations were, her sad attempts to flirt her way to a win with castmate Colby were worse. Though, after peeping her 2001 Playboy spread, we're pretty surprised she wasn't more successful with this technique.
Ozzy
16. Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth, Survivor: Cook Islands, Survivor: Micronesia & Survivor: South Pacific
We have to give props where they are due—Ozzy knew how to play the game. He's also a pretty decent looking guy. What he isn't is humble. Ozzy's arrogance became increasingly grating the more he played the game, which is probably why he was the only player ever to be voted out three times during a single season (South Pacific).
We can hope we've seen the last of you, but considering that you've already milked the Survivor cash/fame cow for three seasons, we're sure your cocky ass will be back for more.
Jonathan Penner
15. Jonathan Penner, Survivor: Cook Islands
The Cook Islands season of Survivor began with a controversial twist: Each tribe would be divided by race instead of age or gender, which had been the norm for previous seasons. Despite the strange divisions, Jonathan still betrayed his tribe and went over to the other, ruthlessly deceiving almost every alliance he had and hatching plenty of half-assed schemes along the way.
And the most annoying part? It actually worked pretty well! Penner managed to make it to the final seven before his shady dealings were discovered, and we were never more happy to see someone go home.
Sue Hawk
14. Sue Hawk, Survivor: Borneo & Survivor: All-Stars
Sue, we really wanted to root for you, we really did. The whole Midwestern truck driver thing had a middle-class appeal that could have really worked for you, but you squandered away your chances of being a fan favorite with your utter lack of understanding of how the game actually worked.
Your rage-fueled "rats and snakes" speech that we'll most remember you for was your shining moment of hypocrisy. We understand you were mad at fellow castmate Kelly for betraying you, but after a season filled with secret alliances, your finger-pointing was downright delusional. We'll admit, the message behind the speech was borderline brilliant, but you took it a tad too far when you said you'd let Kelly get eaten alive by vultures, don't ya think?
Matt Von Ertfelda
13. Matt Von Ertfelda, Survivor: The Amazon
Some people prepped for the reality show by reading about the rain forest or spending some extra time at the gym. Matt, however, decided to take the road less traveled and get his inspiration from horror movies, and memorizing Jack Torrance's every move in The Shining instead.
Actually, we can't confirm that. But judging from Matt's maniacal sharpening of his machete, to swallowing a grub larva whole (like, a long slurp, no chewing), to chopping his shoes up to "feel better," Matt certainly had a similar descent into lunacy. His teammates would have agreed his psychotic break was just a little annoying, but they were too terrified he would murder them in their sleep.
Shannon Elkins
12. Shannon Elkins, Survivor: Nicaragua
Shannon is one of Survivor's most memorably obnoxious characters, despite having only been on two episodes. In the first episode, he established himself as overwhelmingly sexist, trying to convince Chase that women should be prevented from winning, and by episode two he managed to make himself seem homophobic as well.
When he realized he was about to get voted off during his second (and last) tribal council, he exploded on Sash Lenahan, demanding that he admit he was gay. He later apologized for his derogatory comments, but we'll never forget his ridiculously offensive rant.
Judd Sergeant
11. Judd Sergeant, Survivor: Guatemala
For a bi-polar drunk, Judd wasn't half bad. Actually, who are we kidding? He was the worst. Between his excessive use of "man" and "damn," his alcohol-fueled rants at tribal council (remember his whole "scumbag" rant?), Judd was easily had the most anger issue of anyone on the show.
Richard Hatch
10. Richard Hatch, Survivor: Borneo and Survivor: All-Stars
Richard may have been the orginal Survivor winner, but in our eyes, he'll always be a loser. The dude walked around naked for what seemed like most of the show, occasionally brushing his man parts up against other people "accidentally" (poor Sue!).
Sophie Clarke
9. Sophie Clarke, Survivor: South Pacific
Sophie won the title of Sole Survivor, but she didn't win us over with her superiority complex and her lazy approach to the playing the game. She somehow managed to make it into the final three, but it wasn't quality strategy that got her there, it was her under-the-radar status.
Ozzy, as egotisitical as he was, summed Sophie up best in his Tribal Council rant, calling her a "pretentious, spoiled brat." We were hoping that Ozzy's jab, combined with her faux damsel-in-distress move when she attempted to con Albert into helping her stack blocks in an Immunity Challenge, would be enough to send her home, but she stayed (and won!), making her one of the most irritating players in Survivor history.
Denise Martin
8. Denise Martin, Survivor: China
Denise was a decent player, landing herself in fourth, and really had us rooting for her to win. She was a lunch lady, after all, and we would have really liked to see her land the prize.
Unfortunatley, in the reunion show she revealed that her visibility due to the show forced her to be demoted to a janitor at the school she worked at. Executive Producer Mark Burnett stepped in, and offered her $50,000 to help with her situation. But it turned out Denise's story wasn't quite the truth. She later came clean and donated the cash to an AIDS organization, but we'll always remember her ploy as one of the shadiest movies in Survivor history.
Shane Powers
7. Shane Powers, Survivor: Exile Island
Shane wasn't so much annoying as he was batshit crazy. The lifelong chainsmoker decided to quit cold turkey before coming to the island, which was apparently responsible for his season-long break with reality.
Among Shane's finest moments were calling a block of wood his "BlackBerry" and pressing his fingers into it (much to the annoyance of his tribe mates) and his five-star-laceration of cast member Courtney, who he worried would betray him. Rather than asking her to play fair, he decided to go the death threat route, telling her that if she ousted him, when the show was over he'd find her. His exact words: "I'll kill you in your shitty little apartment."
Aww, Shane. What did her apartment do to you?
Dreamz Herd
6. Andria "Dreamz" Herd, Survivor: Fiji
Ordinarily, giving away your immunity to another player causes us to slap our foreheads in frusturation. But in Dreamz' case, it was not giving away his immunity that caused our forehead slapping.
Dreamz made a deal with Yau-Man, your car for my immunity, but at the last minute he reneged on the deal, sending Yau-man home (and without a car!). Thankfully, Dreamz' shading dealings didn't go unnoticed, and at the Final Tribal Council Dreamz received not a single vote, and was sent home with only his selfishness in hand.
Corinne
5. Corinne Kaplan, Survivor: Gabon
Corrine is undoubtetly the nastiest, most cold-hearted player in Surivor history. We always knew she was a little sassy, but accusing Sugar (Jessica Kipler) of faking remorse for her father's death had to be the most outlandishly awful thing to ever be said for the sake of the game. Did you hear that Corrine? IT'S ONLY A GAME.
Jonny Fairplay
4. Jon "Jonny Fairplay" Dalton, Survivor: Pearl Islands & Survivor: Micronesia
When we first set our eyes on Jon Dalton, a.k.a. Jonny Fairplay, we knew he was going to be a douche. Unfortunately, even our initial negative assesments couldn't have predicted just how much of a douche Fairplay would turn out to be.
You see, Jonny didn't play fair. He played the shadiest move possible instead, and lied about his grandmother dying to gain the sympathies of his team. And they believed him! Predictably, fans hated him for it, and he was booed of the stage when speaking at a Fox Reality Awards show in 2007. Danny Bonaduce happened to be there and said to Dalton's face, "They're booing because they hate you." Dalton retailiated by jumping on Bonaduce, who then flipped the reality star, a move which reportedly knocked out his teeth.
But it's cool, because according to Dalton's Twitter he's a "Reality TV ICON." Um, yeah, whatever you say Jonny.
NaOnka
3. NaOnka Patricia Mixon, Survivor: Nicaragua
NaOnka is easily the most hated contestant on all of Survivor history. Why? Well, tripping a woman with a prosthetic leg might have something to do with it. And worse yet, she refused to apologize for it and said Kelly Bruno's artificial leg was "not her problem."
NaOnka, when prompted for a further explanation, said “I got hood. Not ghetto.” We're not exactly sure what she meant by that, but we're pretty sure her "hood" actions were part of what compelled her to quit the show early. As host Jeff Probst put it, NanOnka was "consistently selfish for 28 days" and we like to think she quit because her conscience started to weigh on her.
Russell Hantz
2. Russell Hantz, Survivor: Samoa, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains & Survivor: Redemption Island
Russell gave a new depth to the term sore loser. The guy played a good game. And by that, we mean he made plenty of power plays, including dumping out his own team's water and burning another player's socks. But in the end, despite all of his conspiring and backstabbing, he was reduced to tears and unable to cope with his loss.
Russell's lamest tactic of all, though, had to be lying to his castmates about being a Hurricane Katrina victim. There are lines you can't cross, even in a game show, and that was undoubtedly one of them.
Benjamin "Coach" Wade
1. Benjamin "Coach" Wade, Survivor: Tocantins & Survivor: Heroes vs Villains
Coach, we have to give you props. Out of all the Survivor players, maybe even in all of reality show history, you succeeded in creating the most outlandish, unneccesary lies about yourself.
I mean, really, you're a dragon slayer? And you're related to Pocahantas? You could have came up with something vaguely believable, but instead you decided to go with being the murderer of mythical creature. And the craziest part of all, somewhere, in that hollow cave you call a skull, we actually think you believed it.