Image via Complex Original
Intro.
There are good surprises, and there are bad surprises. While we're generally a fan of the unexpected, there is one place where we draw the line—our food.
Though we like to eat adventurously, we don't like to find anything in our food that doesn't belong there. So, when we heard the recent story about a woman who found sperm swimming in her yogurt, we took it upon ourselves to investigate this truly terrifying trend.
Turns out, that-white-stuff isn't the worst thing that could end up in your mouth (ay-yo!). We prowled the web and found over two dozen indigestion-inducing ingredients that unexpectedly ended up on people's plates to bring you this far-from-delectable collection of cuisine.
Get ready to lose your lunch— here are the 20 Craziest Things Found in Food.
Phone Chips
20. Phone Chips
Where: Janesville, Wisc.
When: February 2009
Not a chipped phone, not a phone chip, but a phone in her chips: that's what Emma Schweiger found in her Clancy’s Ripple Potato Chips.
Schweiger reached into the bag of chips to grab a handful and came up with something better—a silver and blue Nokia phone.
Schweiger filed a complaint with the company, but really, we don't see why she's upset: It's like a Cracker Jack prize! And while it may not have been an iPhone, but it's still an upgrade from plain ol' greasy potato chips.
Ice Cream That's A Cut Above The Rest
19. Ice Cream That's A Cut Above The Rest
Where: Kilgore, Texas
When: February 2011
When Stephanie Granger bought Walmart brand ice cream, she thought was getting two things: a bargain, and according to the package, "Peanut Butter Stars."
Unfortunatley, the stars were not of the peanut butter variety, but closer to the throwing stars ninjas wield—okay, we'll just say it: There was a razor blade in her ice cream.
Even more outrageous is the reaction Walmart had to her discovery: "I'm sorry, I hope your day gets better."
An Office Supply Muffin
18. An Office Supply Muffin
Where: Brisbane, Austrailia
When: April 2008
Muffins are striking fear into the hearts of men. First, it was muffin tops, now this: muffins with tiny-metal-daggers—otherwise known as paperclips—lodged inside of each delicious bite.
While at a party, a team of Australian Olympians were served chocolate muffins laced with paperclips, which is depressing— why did they have to go and taint our favorite breakfast product, why?!
Aside from scary, this stunt was also unoriginal—they totally stole the idea from that weird YouTube video from way-back when that showcased various strangely-flavored muffins, amiright?
A Bloody BLT
17. A Bloody BLT
Where: Cracker Barrel in Houston, Texas
When: June 2011
We're not talking a Englishmen ordering a sandwhich, we're talking actual antibody-filled fluids.
Susan Mosher ordered a BLT and fries and her food was bloody covered with, well, blood. We know a few True Blood fanatics that might considered the extra DNA a bonus, but Mosher was not one of them. She was livid about the suprise B in her BLT, which had came from a chef who had cut himself while prepping her sandwich, and has since taken legal action.
A Creepy-Crawler Cake
16. A Creepy-Crawler Cake
Where: Birmingham, UK
When: June 2011
Catepillar cakes are cute. Catepillars in cakes, not so much.
Anna Jones found this out the hard way when she found a live worm writhing around in a slice of cake she was chowing down on. The snack came from Weight Watcher's, which makes Jones' discovery not only disgusting, but also ironically effective, considering she will probably never eat cake again.
A Sweet Tooth
15. A Sweet Tooth
Where: Brownsboro, Texas
When: January 2010
There are very few things that could ruin a perfectly good peice of chocolate, but yep, we'd say discovering a human tooth is one of them.
Sue Calhoun came across the tooth while munching on a Milky Way last year. She bit into something suspiciously hard that she thought was a nut, but then she realized Snickers have nuts, not Milky Ways, which means two things. One, Milky way needs to get a jingle a-la-Almond Joy to clear up the confusion, and two, the hard thing in her mouth was a tooth.
To add insult to injury, when Calhoun reported her discovery to Mars Candy, the makers of Milky Way, they offered her a coupon for a candy bar as an apology.
A free candy bar? FOH, Mars Candy. Show us the money!
Mac-n-Nails
14. Mac-n-Nails
Where: Gloucester, UK
When: August 2008
Sometimes we like to throw some breadcumbs in our mac-n-cheese. You know, to zest things up.
But when bride-to-be Rebecca Shorten found a little extra crunch in her pasta, it wasn't just a sprinkling of breadcrumbs, it was a handful of nails. Shorten found a total of three two-inch nails in her package of Tesco-brand macaroni and cheese, one of which she swallowed.
Worse yet, doctors were unable to remove the nail, so Shorten was forced to get rid of the hunk of metal in her stomach the old fashioned way. Ouch.
A Frozen Frog
13. A Frozen Frog
Where: Grand Ledge, Mich.
When: October 2010
Amphibian: It's What's For Dinner! At least it was the protein-du-jour at the Hoffman household when they opened a bag of frozen veggies from a local supermarket and found a frog sitting pretty on a pile of peas and carrots.
Rather then letting him thaw out and doing some adventurous eating, the Hoffmans contacted authorities, who apparently waited over a week before they recalled the tainted frozen goods.
The FDA, to America: Let them make soup!
Hair Glove Bread
12. The Hair Glove Bread
Where: Ireland
When: January 2010
How are they making gloves in Northern Ireland? According to the news, a baker lost a glove and baked it into a loaf of bread. But why do gloves in the land of shamrocks and drink resemble heads of human hair?
We think this is a cover-up on the part of Premier foods. They obviously killed someone and this was the result. They're passing it off as an "oven glove." Does any of this make sense? No? Good. That's the way we like it.
Brain-Eating Worms
11. Dinner Was a No-Brainer
Where: Houston, Texas
When: November 2006
Need motivation to learn how to cook? Try contracting a brain eating tapeworm and you'll be hitting the pots and pans in no time. That's what inspired new home-chef Renaldo Ramirez, who nearly died after eating tapeworm-infested food from a mobile kitchen.
Ramirez knew something wasn't right when he had headaches and took an 8-day-nap. When he woke up, he went to the hospital and found out the ugly truth: he had a tapeworm larvae-filled cyst in his brain.
Ramirez survived the ordeal, but (no surprise here) now sticks to making his own meals.
Number Two Treat
10. Number Two Treat
Where: Coogee Bay Hotel in Sydney, Australia
When: October 2008
There's many a thing we enjoy on our ice cream, but frozen fecal matter isn't one of them. Unfortunately, that's just what Steve and Jessica Whyte got served in their chocolate gelato.
While dining at a Sydney hotel, the family complained about noise during a football game and were served gelato as an apology. But considering they become violenty ill after eating the suspiciously creamy frozen treat, which was tested and confirmed to contain human excrement, we're thinking it was less of an peace offering and more of an fuck off-ering.
Snakes on a Plate
9. Snakes on a Plate
Where: T.G.I. Friday's in Clifton Park, N.Y.
When: May 2009
Samuel L. Jackson would have lost it he would have been in Jack Pendleton's place—the man found a snake head on his mother-effin-plate of brocolli! Pendleton said he had just dug into his veggies when he noticed a "gray mass" which turned out to be a rotting reptile head.
Pendleton was so disgusted he wrote a letter to the company, in which he described the reptile dome in all its decomposing glory: "The eye sockets were rotted and black, bits of spine and tendons were hanging out of the neck, and the skull plate was showing through the missing skin on the forehead."
Oh please. Stop being so dramatic, dude. In the South, reptile meat is practically a delicacy. Amiright?
Mouse
8. The Extra Extra Special Curry
Where: St. Austell, Cornwall, England, UK
When: June 2009
Cracking into a fresh jar of UK-based grocery store Asda-brand Extra Special Curry, Cate Barrett recognized the dead mouse immediately.
But really, how could you not? Oh, your powers of cognition are so impressive, Ms. Barrett. We're so thoroughly bowled over.
On the real though, this is terrible. And we're sorry.
Finger Food
7. Finger Food
Where: Kohl's Frozen Custard in Wilmington, N.C.
When: February 2009
Clarence Stowers thought the girl behind the counter gave him a free topping for his chocolate custard, but it turned out it wasn't candy in his mouth, it was a severed finger. Stowers' reaction? He spit it out and screamed, "God, this ain't no nut!"
Turns out an employee at the shop had lost the finger in an accident while filling the custard machine earlier, and it was scooped into a pint by another employee who was unaware of the situation. We wonder which is worse: having a bloody fingertip in your mouth or your finger ending up as a stranger's chewtoy. Hmm...
Arby's Skin Supreme
6. Arby's Skin Supreme
Where: Arby's in Dayton, Ohio
When: April 2005
David Scheiding became an accidental cannibal when he ordered a chicken sandwhich from Arby's and ended up noshing on a 3/4 inch-thick piece of human skin that had been lurking in his lettuce.
Austin Powers' nemesis Goldmember may have had an affinity for eating flakes of (his own) skin, but Scheiding didn't have the same enthusiasm, especially when he learned that the skin belonged to the (probably now-jobless) manager of Arby's who had been slicing said lettuce earlier that day. On the upside, at least the skin was fresh!
A Ranch-Covered Rodent
5. A Ranch-Covered Rodent
Where: Au Bon Pain in City Center, Minneapolis
When: September 2009
A woman dining at her local Au Bon Pain got a bonus in her salad: a free protein. Which may have went over well if it were grilled chicken or something, but being that it was of the deceased-rodent-variety, the lady was understandably upset. Especially being that she had ate half the salad before she noticed Feivel doing the backstroke in her dressing.
A Fizzy Frog
4. Croaka-Cola
Where: Ormond Beach, Fla.
When: September 2009
Pepsi may claim to have "something for everyone,", but we doubt the something Fred DeNegri was looking for when he took a swig of his soda was a decomposing frog.
DeNegri was manning the grill on a hot afternoon, looking for a little refreshment when he cracked open a Diet Pepsi, but he got a mouthful of rotting amphibian instead. Luckily, DeNegri suffered no health repercussions from his ill-fated caffeine fix, but you can bet that the poor guy will never have a carefree sip of soda without the fear of finding "a frog in his throat" again.
A Dangerous Dog
3. A Dangerous Dog
Where: Costco in Irvine, Calif.
When: May 2004
Olivia Chanes ate a live dog. Okay, not an actual pet, but she did eat a hot dog with a live bullet in it.
Chanes bought a hot dog from her local Costco food court, bit into a hard object and accidentally swallowed it. Unfortunately for her, an X-ray later showed the object was a bullet. Yes, she literally bit the bullet.
Even worse news? Costco serves Hebrew National Hot Dogs, you know, the kind they serve at baseball games, which means our appetite for dirty dogs is now officially destroyed. Well, at least for a few days hours.
Condom Chowder
2. Condom Chowder
Where: McCormick & Schmick’s in Irvine, Calif.
When: 2004
There are plenty of things you expect to find in a clam chowder—clams, maybe some potatoes, onions. A condom isn't one of them.
So, you can understand why Laila Sultan was surprised when she got a spoonful of prophylactic in her soup, a rubbery surprise that she initially thought was calamari.
The condom was found in her soup after she sent it back to the kitchen to be reheated, which in our heads, makes who the culprit was pretty clear. Just another reason to be nice to your waiter...
Extra Bloody Beef
1. A Blood-Soaked Surprise
Where: Bull and Bear Restaurant in New York
When: July 2009
When you pay forty dollars for a Filet Mignon, you expect a tender, perfectly-cooked cut of meat. What you don't expect is a sanitary-product lodged in your steak.
Unfortunately, that is exactly what Axel Sanz-Claus, a tourist from Germany, found on his plate while dining at the Waldorf-Astoria's Bull and Bear restaurant. Sanz-Claus claims he took a bite of his meat and ended up with a—GAG—bloody tampon in his mouth.
Sanz-Claus immediately washed his mouth out with brandy and headed to the emergency room, where a doctor confirmed that his discovery was indeed a used tampon and recommended he be tested for epatitis and HIV.
Seriously, this is too repulsive for us to even joke about. Period.