Image via Complex Original
It's decades old, but the glory that is '90s Nickelodeon programming, or, to those in the know, SNICK, has never escaped our collective consciousness. We admit it: We still find ourselves absentmindedly humming the do-doot-do's of Doug's theme song as we walk down the street and even harbor occasional fantasies of somehow still becoming the owner of the oversized piece of glowing rock that is the mighty Aggro Crag.
Apparently, we're not alone. The Nickelodeon we knew in the '90s has a rabid social media following that includes millions of fans and followers, which is exactly what prompted TeenNick to bring back the '90s shows so many of us have long clamored for.
As of this week, TeenNick began airing its retro revival weeknights between 12 a.m. and 2 a.m. We're not even going to complain about how the time-slot is only convenient for unemployed stoners—we will happily forego sleep and overdose on coffee in the a.m. if it means getting our nostalgia fix, because we're thankful, Nickelodeon, we really are. But, we are going to get a little demanding on you.As of now, you've only given us Doug, All That, Clarissa Explains It All, and Kenan & Kel—we want more. So, if you would be so kind as to give us back these 10 shows, in this particular order, we would be so very grateful.
Keep reading for The 10 Shows Nickelodeon Should Resurrect Next...
10. The Amanda Show
Long before Amanda Bynes made the top of our to-do lists, she was making us chuckle and snort at the insane antics of her many personas on The Amanda Show. Give us this old school sketch-comedy back and we swear, we won't even make fun of Bynes' schizophernic Twitter usage anymore. In the words of the show's most memorable character, Penelope Taynt (who in retrospect, clearly has a porn star name): "Amanda, please!"
9. Hey Arnold!
Arnold had swagger before the word was even uttered aloud. Plus, he totally pulled off the "football head" look, and we respect that. He was also super suave when it came to avoiding come-ons from angry, unibrow-having Helga, who was crushin' hard. Pimpin ain't easy, but Arnold sure made it look like it was. Kid dodged grenades like it was his job, and we need to bring him back so we can take notes on his unfailing technique.
8. Double Dare
First off, any game show that challenges you to catch pies in your pants or dive face-first into huge bowls of spaghetti and meatballs is good in our book, and this two-on-two, super-sloppy game show was seriously genius. Kids (and eventually their families, too) would take on elaborately messy obstacle courses searching for tiny red flags in pools of slime, jelly, and other dubious substances.
Getting filthy is every kid's favorite pastime, and we still have the pressing desire to get down and dirty. Mom may no longer spank us and tell us how naughty we are every time we get grimey, but now we have jobs that we're required to bathe for, so we still need Double Dare to live vicariously through those sloppy kids.
7. GUTS
GUTS helped kids from around the world get their fitness on in every way imaginable, going from pools and into harnesses, which was cool and all, but let's be honest, it was all about the Aggro Crag. The Aggro Crag was an untamable monster, which at the time seemed more difficult of a task than scaling Mt. Everest. The kids scaling the Aggro Crag had to dodge falling boulders, snowstorms, and avalanches, all amidst the foggy glow of flashing strobe lights. But the prize was well worth the struggle: a piece of the mighty Aggro Crag, which you could take home, show off to friends, and use as the most impressive paperweight ever. Damn, those kids were lucky.
6. Rocket Power
In 1999, the same year that Tony Hawk landed the first ever "900," Nick's skateboarding series, Rocket Power, came crashing into our worlds. We were young enough for cartoons but old enough to know what cool looked like, and Rocket Power was it. We wanted to be Otto Rocket, the cocky skater living in Cali, spending his days doing nosegrinds and loitering on the boardwalk, and we wanted to flirt with his super chill sister, Reggie, who was a writer and a boarder (swoon). Boards and biddies? Clearly, Rocket Power needs to make a comeback.
5. Legends Of The Hidden Temple
Legends Of The Hidden Temple was an Indiana Jones-esque game show, where kids took on challenges like "The Moat" and "The Steps of Knowledge" in order to win "Pendants of Life," which would ultimately allow you to survive in the LOTHT's pièce de résistance, The Temple. Watching contestants take on the temple guards, the intimidating creatures that lurked throughout the temple, was always particularly stressful. "How could you not SEE him?" we would anxiously wonder while wringing our hands.
But the panic really set in at the end of the course, where the kid would be fumbling, mere seconds on the clock, to put together the THREE pieces of the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. "ARE YOU THAT DUMB?!" Yes, we would be manically yelling this at the television. If you could bring LOTHT back, so we can passive-aggressively take out our stress on incompetent contestants, we'd really appreciate it.
4. Nick Arcade
You. In a video game. This simple, ahead-of-its-time concept that Nick Arcade debuted was nothing short of genius. In order to get to the holy land, a.k.a. "The Video Zone," you had to answer video game trivia and, obviously, play video games. Just to give you a timeframe, Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo were two of the systems of choice. Talk about a throwback.
Vintage systems aside, the virtual reality of the "The Video Zone," however elementary, is still something we find ourselves longingly looking back on, wishing that there might be somehow, some way, we might make our way into Call of Duty and destroy and conquer, for reals.
3. Rocco's Modern Life
We don't know how they did it, but Nickelodeon made wallabies cool. Hell, we didn't even know what a wallaby was before Rocco's Modern Life hit the scene. Rocco was riddled with dark humor and double-entendres, the genius of which we can only truly appreciate in retrospect. But before we knew what the word satire meant, we were entranced with Rocco's seriously OCD bestie Filburt, a turtle filled with more neuroses than a DSM manual. Dude was nuts, and he only made us appreciate our own, semi-sane friends that much more.
2. Are You Afraid of The Dark?
Are You Afraid of the Dark? debuted during a time when most teens were horror-obsessed, our backpacks filled to the brim with Goosebumps, so AYAOTD was right up our alley. Aside from the seriously creepy characters like clowns (shiver) and story lines packed with the stuff of nightmares, we were insanely jealous of the members of "The Midnight Society" who snuck off into the dark and gathered around the glowing campfire, ominously whispering to one another in the dark.
Years after the last handful of white sand had been tossed into that famous firepit, we're still wishing we could have sat there at least once. Only now, we'd bring a six-pack, you know, to set the mood.
1. Salute Your Shorts
When we think about you, Salute Your Shorts, it makes us want to...go back to our childhood (what did you think I was going to say—fart?). Seriously though, the kids at Camp Anawanna made us want to get our camp on and hang around flagpoles singing in a bad way. Plus, we would have dreamed up the illest pranks—Ug would have never seen us coming. Camp Anawanna, we do still hold you in our hearts, which is why we need Nickelodeon to bring you back, stat.