Image via Complex Original
A recent study found that Oreos are more addictive than cocaine.After all these years of grinding your teeth after seeing a bag on a supermarket shelf, and murdering off friends who dared to leave behind the chocolate cookies after scraping off the cream, it all makes sense. Science was on your side all along.
While few other snacks have been subject to the vigorous testing Oreos have, we suspect that many of our favorite sweets would fare just as well if put under the micropscope. Here are 15 amazingly addictive snacks that any smart rat would undoubtedly choose over the white stuff.
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Sour Patch Kids
Maker: Maynards
These are painful to eat in large quanities. Attempts to escape without a toothache and inner mouth cuts will be fruitless. But they're so so tasty that all of the strange contorted faces and mouth injuries in the world could not keep you from consuming every single tart, flourescent, vaguely human-shaped candy in the bag. You win, Sour Patch Kids. Even Method Man concedes.
Goldfish
Maker: Pepperidge Farm
The serving size for these tiny aquatic snacks is 55 pieces. But, there's no way you're stopping until you've huffed at least 165 of these tiny cheddary morsels. To eat like a boss, purchase the carton so you can funnel them down your gullet with maximum speed and efficiency. Just tilt your head back and pour.
Oreos
Maker: Nabisco
Oreos are the undebatable top dawg of snack cookies. As proof of this, consider that the package says the serving size is a mere three cookies, but that you're unable to escape without eating AT LEAST a whole row. DAT CREAM. Who can resist its delicious gravitational pull?
Chex Mix
Maker: General Mills
Chex Mix is like a grab bag. Will you end up with a lackluster pretzel, or will you unearth the prize, the elusive pumpernickel round? So many possibilities in a single bag. Anyone who shares and/or stops before they reach the bottom of the bag lacks the vigor and lust for life we look for in fellow humans.
Twizzler Nibs
Maker: Hershey's
Twizzlers are an unmatched treat. They're subtly sweet enough to consume in massive quantities, but their shape is not conducive to mindlessly plowing through an entire bag. To remedy this, they cut each licorice twist into tiny pieces that were slightly softer, which makes inhaling a package in a single seating sinfully easy. Ain't no stopping us now.
Samoas
Maker: Girl Scouts of America
I once ate an entire box of these in one period during high school. That's 1050 calories in 45 minutes. #noregrets
Ritz Crackers
Maker: Nabisco
These buttery disks put saltines to shame. That those flavorless squares can call themselves "cracker" is an insult to the supremely delicious rounds of glory that are Ritz crackers. Finishing a sleeve of these is not enough to quelch our appetites. Don't stop until you leave the red box on the ground, tattered, while you cry in the corner. They're tears of joy, ma. You don't understand.
Gummi Bears
Maker: Haribo
Eating a gummi bear is a struggle. Your teeth vs. the gelatinous bear, it's no easy feat, but you'll grind your teeth into their sweet flesh until you come out victorious. When the man who created Haribo gummi bears died, we ate them for breakfast for an entire week. OK, two days. How better to salute a personal hero?
Starbursts
Maker: The Wrigley Company
Anyone who asks for a pink Starburst will receive unrestrained side glances. Like, am I really going to give you the crown jewel of this package? Who are you? These aren't Twix, bish.
Combos
Maker: Mars, Incorporated
We blame Combos bizzare stoner-approved flavors (pepperoni pizza? seven-layer dip tortilla? cheeseburger?) and the strangely satisfying crunch each flavorful nugget yields. It's a gift from the health gods that Combos only comes in single-serve packages. If they came in regular-sized chip bags, we'd be covered in the remnants of Buffalo Blue cheese Combos for the rest of our days.
M&Ms
Maker: Mars, Incorporated
Maybe it's because they'll melt if you don't consume them in under 20 seconds. Maybe it's because they're small enough to toss into your mouth with abandon. Maybe it's just that fragile outershell of chocolate, and how enjoyable it is to gnash your teeth through 50 of them at once. There is no one reason; there are many. M&Ms, we're in awe of your myriad wonders.
Movie Theater Popcorn
Maker: Varies
I've made it to the bottom of countless tubs of fat-drenched kernels, hoping that the answers to life's most difficult questions lie at the bottom. Instead I've found shame and indigestion. That won't stop me from continuing my mission, movie after movie. Economy-sized bucket of popcorn—I could share you, but why?
Cheez-Its
Maker: Sunshine Biscuits
Cheez-Its have undeniably mastered the faux-cheese flavor. Cheese puffs, Cheetos, and Cheese Doodles all have nothing on these. Cheese Nips have a similar shape, but aren't nearly as addictive. Why? It's an unsolved snack mystery.
Doritos
Maker: Frito-Lay
A Dorito is a thing of wonder. A fragile chip that provides a hearty crunch, Doritos are a snack chip more irresistable than the sight of Kate Upton housing a cheeseburger in the backseat of a Corvette. Being covered in Doritos dust and bearing the unmistakable orange hue on your fingertips is a mark of pride among snackophiles. Nacho Cheese addicts, unite!
Pringles
Maker: Kellog Company
If you thought "once you pop, you don't stop" was just another marketing slogan, you were wrong. Though the cylindrical tube makes it difficult to grab chips by the fistful, the concave shape is perfectly suited to putting a chip in your mouth and swallowing in a single bite, sometimes without chewing. Before you know it, you've barreled through the entire tube, and you're left with nothing but a heavy sense of guilt, a salt mustache, and small cuts on the corners of your mouth. Pringles are too delicious. It's their fault, not yours.