25 Awesome Cereals That No Longer Exist

Breakfast is an 8-year-old's greatest decision of the day. Currently, your fridge is stocked with curdled milk, and your cabinets with a sad array of fiber-rich cereals, but once upon a time, you had choices. The cupboard was a veritable blur of familiar mascots, all trying to coerce you with their unique gimmicks for a spot in your cereal bowl.

The heartbreaking truth? Your one-time favorites, once a sacred part of your daily ritual, have faded away. Yes, even if you wanted a box of Urkelos, you couldn't have one, because it's since disappeared from shelves.

Pour some milk out for the ones we lost: 25 Awesome Cereals That No Longer Exist.

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Pop-Tarts Crunch

Maker: Kellogs
Peak Popularity: Mid 1990s

Clearly, these were destined for greatness. Pop-Tarts were every child's go-to breakfast—they were portable, easy to make, and packed with a disgusting (read: delicious) amount of sugar. What could make them better? Milk, of course. These miniaturized Pop-Tarts came in strawberry and brown sugar cinnamon varieties, and both were tasty enough to make you punch the breakfast table with uncontrollable excitement. Pop-Tarts for your spoon, YES!

Urkelos

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Early 1990s

Steve Urkel was a legend. No, he didn't get to smash Laura, but he was smart enough to invent a machine that turned him into a suaver version of himself and came pretty fucking close. We respect that hustle. We ate these knock-off Fruit Loops for that reason alone. For solidarity. Did we do that? Yes, yes we did.

Dunkin' Donuts Cereal

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Mid 1980s

Mom wasn't about letting us toss back Munchkins for breakfast, but somehow, this slipped under her radar. There was no "time to make the donuts" but making a bowl of cereal was completely doable. This box was split into two bags of donuts: glazed and chocolate, eliminating the need for decision making.

Sure, they looked exactly like Cheerios, but those toasted O's were lame, and these, these were everything.

Berry Berry Kix

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: Early 1990s

The tiny, near-flavorless balls of corn that are Kix became something special when peppered with saccharine-dusted berry shapes. You could trick yourself into eating the way Mom wanted you to. And it made your milk taste like blueberries. Can this be life?

Nintendo Cereal System

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Late 1980s

Mario has his 'shrooms, and we had Nintendo cereal. Not content to be simply a "breakfast cereal," this was a breakfast "system" that was one part Mario and one part Zelda. The Zelda half contained berry-flavored protective gear and weaponry like shields and boomerangs; Mario opted to eat Koopa Troopas and Bowsers. After swallowing your enemies for breakfast, you were ready to take on anything the day threw your way. Come at me, bro!

Dino Pebbles

Maker: Post
Peak Popularity: Late 1980s

Dino was the pet we never had and always wanted, so when they put his visage on a cereal box, we blew fits in the supermarket isles to get our grubby hands on it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world didn't feel the same way, and Dino Pebbles disappeared from shelves by the time the '90s rolled around. Despite not having marshmallow bits, Fruity Pebbles prevailed. It was either a conspiracy, or due to the fact that Dino Pebbles were vaguely reminiscent of fluorescent dinosaur turds. We're still not sure.

Mr. T Cereal

Maker: Quaker
Peak Popularity: Early 1980s

No one could afford T's bling, but his cereal was for the people. Essentially Alpha Bits if the machine broke and only produced the letter T, Mr. T Cereal was most remarkable for the bad-ass stickers. But that was enough.

E.T. cereal

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: Mid-1980s

You couldn't kick it with a young Drew Barrymore (because you didn't have enough blow), but you could pretend with a big bowl of E.T. cereal in front of you. Sure, it looked like extraterrestrial excrement, but that chocolate/peanut butter flavor (E.T. was ride or die for Reese's Pieces) was worth getting abducted for.

Smurf Magic Berries

Maker: Post
Peak Popularity: Early 1980s

For avid Smurf-collectors (ie: us), getting your hands on these Magic Berries was imperative. We had a vague hope that those magical marshmallow bits would make us as bad ass as Papa Smurf. Tragically, PS maintained his monopoly on smoothness, while we were left stuttering while trying to kick game in gym class. Cruel world.

Sprinkle Spangles

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: Early 1990s

Sprinkles are like crack cocaine for young children. Hell, we still lose our shit over those colorful sugar bits. Toss a handful in a box of sweetened puffs of corn, and slap an ambiguous genie character on the box and we were malleable putty in General Mills manipulative hands. Did he grant our wishes and squelch our appetites in one fell swoop? Only our seven-year-old selves know for sure.

Cinnamon Mini Buns

Maker: Kellogg's
Peak Popularity: Early 1990s

If you've ever seen a cinnabon being made, you know it calls for an ungoldly amount of butter. But, where you saw clogged arteries, Kellogg's saw capitalism; they saw opportunity. They seized the day, and turned the cinnamon bun into a tiny morsel of cereal with gorgeous swirls of sugar and cinnamon. On the real, we just salivated typing those words.

Donkey Kong Junior

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Early 1980s

If you played Mario Kart racing back in the day, or the arcade game this cereal was named after, you know Donkey Kong Junior was a boss. Bananas were powerful weapons on the racetrack, so we could only assume they would easily conquer our taste buds. We were right, these subtly fruity cereal bits blew Trix out of the water. DK may no longer be on the shelves, but we'll fondly remember when he was the reigning king of the cereal jungle.

G.I. Joe

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Late 1980s

Why wouldn't you want a real American hero in your cereal bowl? These tiny, sweetened stars were so delicious we'd nearly riot at breakfast if Mom hadn't stocked up on them. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Freakies

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Mid 1970s

This was well before our time, but a cereal with a name this pause-worthy deserves a shoutout. "Free Freakies inside!" You promise, Ralston?

Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears

Maker: Nabisco
Peak Popularity: Mid 1980s

While other successful companies put their heads together to dream up a cereal iteration of their snack, Nabisco was all like, fuck the bullshit, let's just toss our Teddy Grahams in a box and call it a cereal. Who gon stop me, huh?

No one stopped them. They beat the system, and we'll forever be grateful for them allowing us to sneak exorbitant amounts of sugar into our tiny mouths.

S'mores Crunch

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: Mid 1980s

S'mores (the campfire snack) are a great idea-in theory. But the arduous process behind the treat- finding a campfire, toasting the marshmallow without charring it, melting the chocolate so it hits the right level of gooeyness, and avoiding the dreaded graham cracker crumble-requires far too much effort from us. A perfect S'more is culinary art. That's why Smorz is legendary. It captures those flavors without the time-consuming hassle. The only caveat? Cruelly, Kellogg's has made it nearly impossible to find, essentially forcing us to return to making S'mores like cavemen.

C3PO's

Maker: Kellogg's
Peak Popularity: Mid 1980s

"A crunchy new force at breakfast," C3PO's were basically conjoined honey nut cheerios, but the brilliant advertising for the cereal made it seem much more next level. We needed the force to be with us at school, so we demanded these at the breakfast table.

Nerds Cereal

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Mid 1980s

A tangy cereal seems counter-intuitive somehow, too reminiscent of sour milk. But when Nerds are your favorite candy, and they come out with a cereal that looks EXACTLY THE SAME, how can you say no? Impossible.

Nerds cereal, like the candy box, came with two different flavors, and each flavor has a separate compartment. Sure, it had some flavor issues (sour breakfast cereal, who approved this shit?) but on asthetic and sweet prizes alone, it won our favor.

French Toast Crunch

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: Late 1990s

How else to put this? Mom was lazy, and we weren't allowed to turn on the stove. Thus, this was the closest we could get to an egg-soaked slice of bread, fried in butter and then doused with maple syrup. Tasting it now would revive warm feelings of early childhood. Also, neglect.

Choco Donuts

Maker: Quaker
Peak Popularity: Early 2000s

The Cap'n knew how to navigate the overpopulated seas of breakfast cereal. Come in, drop a glazed, sprinkle-covered chocolate O, name it after a snack food, and fuck the game up.

And that's exactly what he did. Keep your crunch berries. Choco Donuts will always have our hearts.

Ice Cream Cones Cereal

Maker: General Mills
Peak Popularity: 1987/2003

This was the boldest cereal ever made. For two single years, 1987 and 2003, children of America could choose from having a vanilla, chocolate, or chocolate chip ice cream cone for breakfast. It was too, too forward-thinking to last.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cereal

Maker: Ralston
Peak Popularity: Late 1980s

Donatello and his crew dominated the themed-snack game in the mid-90s. Along with Ninja Turle Ice Pops and Ninja Turtle Ellios Pizza (get it?), they also had breakfast on lock. A rare hybrid of Chex and Lucky Charms, the cereal bits were almost effervescent when they came in contact with milk. Those amorphous, bite-sized marhsmallow bits looked nothing like turtles, but our hearts recognizes a ninja when it sees it. Tastes it. Whatever, you know what we mean.

Waffle Crisps

Maker: Post
Peak Popularity: Late 1990s

It's a bold move to make cereal out of a bite-sized version of another breakfast food. For a poor execution of the same brilliant concept, see: Bacon 'N Egg Crunch. For a good-enough-to-suffice substitution, see: Eggo Cereal.

Oreo O's

Maker: Post
Peak Popularity: Early 2000s

The urge to take your own life after finishing a sleeve of Oreos (the serving size is only three) is real. Fortunately, this cereal alleviated the creme-induced guilt by turning the cookie into a breakfast food. There was also the allure of the Creme-filling Man, the cereal's Casper-like mascot. Bring it all back to us.

Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

Maker: Kellogg's
Peak Popularity: Late 1990s

This was the tastiest cereal ever made, a perfect hybrid of cereal and warm, gooey rice crispy treats. It even turned your milk in the a wonderful sea of marshmallowy-goodness.

But, the greatest trick RKT cereal ever pulled was convincing people it no longer existed. Apparently, there's a box or two on a gas station shelf in North Dakota. But until we see it, we'll assume its amazing flavor was lost to the sands of time.