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A robot's technical qualities don't always determine the sum of its parts. It's not a heap of wires or a new-fanged weapon, or even superior programming, that determines a robot's worthiness as an on-screen object of obsession. A robot's "it" factor can be attributed to a more elusive quality, a certain je ne sais quoi similar to coolness but with a sharper edge: badassness. It may not be the most scientific term, but it's the difference between a robot whose sprockets (or cyborg limbs) are firmly cemented in sci-fi history and one who makes his way straight to the junkyard.
Atom, the pile of discarded metal Hugh Jackman trains to be a boxing 'bot in Real Steel (in theaters this weekend) is one such failed attempt. Atom shows promise, possessing the physicality of a true fighting machine, but the potential amounts to nothing but a high-tech pile of steel, a metal-mime with no intrigue inside of his impressively armored facade. Outside of Atom's standing as a heavyweight contender in the ring, it's clear this one-trick robot is all brawn with no real bite.
While Jackman's pal's ultimate fate in robot history is still undetermined, one thing is already clear: There are a number of robots, whether with their admirable attitude or damage-inducing demeanor, who undoubtedly kick far more ass. Atom could possibly win the metal-crushing battle; these science fiction soldiers, a.k.a. the 13 Robots More Badass Than The 'Bots In Real Steel, are bad enough to win the war.
Iron Giant
13. Iron Giant in The Iron Giant (1999)
Bad-assets: incredibly emotive (a commodity in the robot world); the ability to self-repair; impressive in stature (he is a giant, after all); dines on scrap metal
Aside from his sheer mass, the Iron Giant (voiced by Vin Diesel) has the quality Atom from Real Steel most notably lacks: the ability to truly bond with his young, human friend Hogarth Hughes (voiced by Eli Marienthal). The over-sized hunk of metal may be from outer space, but he's no alien to affection. Iron Giant acts as a substitute for Hogart's missing father by both physically protecting him and emotionally connecting with him.
People-skills of that nature are hard enough to come by in humans, nevermind an animated heap of steel. The Iron Giant wins major points for mastering the ever-elusive trait of emotional intelligence.
Zhora
12. Zhora in Blade Runner (1982)
Bad-assets: an affinity for reptiles; exotic dancing skills; murder squad membership
Zhora (Joanna Cassidy) isn't the most intelligent of the Nexus-6 replicants; more importantly, she's the sexiest, and most rebellious, which makes her quite the badass in our books.
Docile and nondescript like Atom she is not. Undettered by her short shelf-life, this feisty lady is the proud owner of a pet snake and has a background in kick-murder training, which not only makes her hardcore, but also explains why she's so effective at laying the smack down on Deckard (Harrison Ford).
In describing Zhora to Deckard, Byrant hits the nail on the head: "Talk about beauty and the beast—she's both."
Data
11. Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994)
Bad-assets: a lack of emotion (despite his best efforts); immunity to every disease ever; more smarts and strength than all the other members of Enterprise put together
Lieutenant Commander Data (Brent Spiner) was a kind-hearted android who might seem like more of an underdog than a rebel, but he rises to the top of the heap with his enviably unaffected demeanor. Sure, it may be due to the lack of an emotion chip; if his susceptibility to the evil lure of women (a.k.a. the Borg Queen) post-emotion chip-installation in Star Trek Generations is any indication, though, being emotionless is a major plus in one's quest for badassness.
In fact, Data is so badass that he inspired a song. "The Positronic Pimp," by The Futuristic Sex Robots, refers to Data as a "futuristic sex android" who's "too cool for school or bad hemorrhoids." We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Fembots
10. The Fembots in Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997)
Bad-assets: alluring ensembles (including pink teddies and/or metallic lingerie); hypnotic charms; strip-tease skills
The Fembots are androids who have some of the most well-hidden weapons of all time: machine guns, as well as a distracting pink gas, both of which are concealed deep within their malicious mammaries. Their lethal lady lumps are fully loaded, ready to dispense of an enemy if provoked (or aroused by a cool breeze). The Fembots are their own brand of badass, but it's not their anatomy that makes them most malevolent—it's their unfuckwitable mojo.
Bender
9. Bender on Futurama (FOX, 1999–2003; Comedy Central, 2008–present)
Badass-ets: unmatched chugging abilities; "swarthy Latin charm"; ability to womanize
What Bender lacks in brawn, he makes up for with his "robot-may-care" attitude. Who needs an iron fist when you can count "chronic belching' amongst your skills? He has the ultimate excuse to binge drink (alcohol is his literal "fuel") and he rarely removes cigars from his mouth because he knows they "make (him) look cool".
While he has no literal weaponry, Bender wields his biting sarcasm like a sword. If we were to question his bad-ness, he'd likely implore us to "bite [his] shiny metal ass." Nonchalance like that? Clearly the epitome of cool.
Caprica 6
8. Carprica 6 on Battlestar Galactica (SyFy, 2004-2009)
Bad-assets: anatomically alluring; virtually indecipherable from a human (at both a physical and cellular level); permanent memory retention
A harrowingly beautiful humanoid, Number Six (Tricia Helfer) uses what her maker gave her for no good, seducing her way into power with evil intentions. Using her womanly wiles alone, Caprica 6 convinces Dr. Gaius Baltar to share confidential about the colonial warships, and shares the information she procures with the Cylons, who then use it to (almost) effectively annihilate all of humanity.
Wooing your way into world destruction? Clearly, Caprica 6 is one fem-bot who knows how to handle things "like a boss."
Johnny Five
7. Johnny Five in Short Circuit (1986)
Bad-assets: a gold processor; a spot-on John Travolta impression; pop culture expertise (via speed-reading through encyclopedias)
There's no way to spin it: Johnny Five is literally a robot with a heart of gold. Created by the U.S. government to be a systematic, Cold War-killing machine, Johnny rebels against his military programming so he can live a morally scrupulous life.
Johnny's vow not to kill—or, as he famously puts it, "no dissasemble"—may be the opposite of aggressive, but his ability to override his hard-wired capacity for destruction is a remarkable feat. Self-control is something the majority of robots (including Atom from Real Steel, who's controlled entirely by humans) are virtually incapable of due to their mechanical make-up, but Johnny successfully overrides the complex government technology within himself. That makes him a surprising, but nonetheless worthy, inductee into the badass hall of fame.
RoboCop
6. RoboCop in RoboCop (1987)
Bad-assets: a leg that doubles as a 9mm holster; a data spike embedded in his fist that can be used for computer hacking/downloading; a visual health display on his arm
After being gunned down by a gang leader, Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is ressurected as a cyborg copper who rules Detroit with an iron fist. Upon Murphy's transformation into RoboCop, Bob Morton tells him, "You're gonna be a bad motherfucker!" His premonition turns out to be spot-on.
Murphy isn't just screws and steel—he's a flawless supercop who still retains part of his prior humanity, including the memory of his own death, which he effortlessly avenges by a quick jab with his data spike.
Ultimately, though, what makes RoboCop so badass is his ability to be autonomous. Robo is fully loaded with three prime directives (and one secret one) that govern his behavior. But when those directives are erased during, well, Robocop: Prime Directives, he independently chooses to maintain them based on his own moral principles alone and chooses to "serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law," not due to programming, but his own free will.
Lisa
5. Lisa in Weird Science (1985)
Badass-ets: big hair; looks great in leather; memory-wiping skills; the ability to transform bullying older brothers into whimpering, defenseless monsters
Lisa's (Kelly LeBrock) first words to her creators Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) ("So what would you little maniacs like to do first?") show that she's a down-ass-robot-chick, and her ability to produce a Porsche out of thin air wins her major cool points. Plus, she could totally get it, and we wouldn't say that about just any robot.
WALL-E
4. WALL-E in WALL-E (2008)
Bad-Assets: recycling extraordinaire; binocular vision; disarming wide-eyed charm
WALL-E may seem like an unusual contender for the badass ranks, being that he's naively innocent, considers a cockroach amongst his closest friends, and is basically a dutiful drone. Yet, WALL-E experiences a remarkable trajectory. While chasing EVE's robot tail, WALL-E inadvertently saves all of humanity and quickly goes from trash-compacting zero to world hero, making him one of the most pimp robots of all time.
R2-D2
3. R2-D2 in Star Wars (1977)
Bad-assets: a cool and collected demeanor; computer hacking expertise; a sixth sense (OK, a scanner) for approaching danger; messenger skills the would make the United States Postal Service envious
R2-D2 may have been a simply-shaped bundle of bleeps and chirps, but he had something Atom from Real Steel most notably lacks: a well-devolped, even loveable personality. Rather than engaging in the usual "I long to be human" antics most bots fall victim to, R2-D2 embraces his robotic nature. He understands English, but makes no attempt to speak it. He's his own robot, and that makes him badass.
Even R2-D2's peers know how cool he is. EVD9 calls him "fiesty little one" and C-3PO admits the beeping bot livens things up, pleading, "You've got to come back. You wouldn't want my life to get boring, would you?''
Optimus Prime
2. Optimus Prime in Transformers (2007)
Bad-assets: a hand that becomes a glowing axe; the ability to turn into a Mack Truck instantaneously; can lift a far-from-shabby 4,000,000 pounds
Optimus Prime made being the good guy badass again. A hero by nature, the Autobots' leader is a self-safricial capo who will do anything to save not only the his own alien race, but any sentient being in danger. A pacificist to his core, he has respect and honor for his even his adversaries. Prime mourns the death of his arch-enemy Megatron and laments his loss saying, "You left me no choice, brother."
But the thing that makes Optimus exceptionally badass is that he repeatedly returns from the dead. He's a ressurection-regular, having been revived many times in the cartoon and once (so far) in the movie franchise, which allowed him a rare opportunity few can say they've had: the chance to revenge his own death. Now, tell us... Who's bad?
The Terminator
1. The Terminator (a.k.a. T-800) in The Terminator (1984)
Bad-assets: a virtually indestructible metal endoskeleton; flawless voice-imitating abilities; the ability to bleed, smell and sweat; 120-year battery lifespan
If The Terminaor's ability to pull off a leather jacket and sunglasses at night hasn't convinced you of his badass credibility already, consider the cyborgs' admirably wise-ass attitude. Arnold Schwarzenegger's futuristic alter-ego's famously smug expressions say it all. From the sardonically-spoken "Hasta la vista, baby" to the short yet swagger-ific "I'll be back," T-800 has inarguably uttered some of the cockiest quotes to ever come out of a robot's mouth.