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For its 10-season long run, Friendswas jam-packed with lessons about love—romantic and platonic alike. With a perfectly divided cast for (heternormative) sexual partners—three guys and three girls—everyone was bound to get together and they did. Even Monica and Ross shared an accidental kiss. Though it premiered 20 years ago today, when our love life is (sadly) D.O.A., we look back at the best things the show taught us about falling in and out of love.
Don’t Hide a Relationship From Your Friends
Monica and Chandler officially got together in London at Ross’ wedding, but they kept it a big secret. Joey was the first to figure it out—yes, that Joey—and things started to unravel. Eventually everybody finds out and even Ross is totally happy that his best friend and his sister are in love. Turns out it wasn’t even worth hiding.
Lists Are for Losers
In what was maybe the first TV episode plotline involving a computer/printer, “The One With The List” is the one where Ross totally screwed up. Even after a passionate and surprising kiss with Rachel, Ross can’t decide between Julie and her. Naturally, Chandler tells him to print out a list of each girl’s flaws. Rachel finds the list and is absolutely devastated. Ross tries to win her back with a pros list and a song dedicated to her, but she has none of it. Pros and cons lists are for buying a new car, not for picking a girlfriend.
Girls Can Propose, Too
Monica is a total control freak, in the most adorable way—she has 11 categories of towels. So it only made sense that she got too anxious about losing Chandler and attempted to propose to him on a whim. Alright, so she got too emotional and Chandler had to do the asking, but it totally counted because she was kneeling. Could it be any cuter?
Find Your Lobster
According to Phoebe—and the Internet—lobsters mate for life. So when Rachel sees the home video of Ross trying to save her from being stood up at prom, Phoebe says, “He’s her lobster.” Basically, Ross and Rachel are totally meant to be and there’s no denying it. Though it took them until the end of the series to finally get together, we always knew it was bound to happen. Screw soulmates, find your lobster!
Be Your Own Something Blue
In the face of a surprise blizzard and a ton of other mishaps, Phoebe’s wedding plans are ruined. But in the face of adversity, Phoebe and Mike (Paul Rudd) get married outside of Central Perk. Without a coat or her family, Phoebe gives her five friends roles in the ceremony. After all, a wedding is about celebrating love more than anything else.
Get Off the Plane
After Ross proclaims his love for Rachel when she’s about to go to France, she gets off the plane and they live happily ever after, probably. “I got off the plane” might just be the five most heart-shattering words to ever be uttered on the show. We can’t all be Ross and Rachel, and it’s not always advisable, but you’ll know when it’s right to put your heart ahead of your career.
Find the Good in the Bad
Even when Monica and Chandler found out it would be very difficult to have kids, they stuck together through the pain. They eventually find a pregnant woman to adopt from, but during labor they learn they’re actually getting twins. When you overcome adversity you might end up getting more than you could ever ask for.
Be Kind to Your Exes
Chandler ran into his multi-ex Janice more than he ran into Beyonce, but he handled it like a champ, or at least tried to. If feelings aren’t mutual between you and someone else, tell them how you feel and be the bigger person. Don’t lie and say you’re moving to Yemen.
Get in the Box!
When Chandler kisses a girl Joey’s dating, he has to win back Joey’s trust and friendship. Joey asks him to spend Thanksgiving dinner silently inside a box. Sooner or later Chandler realizes Joey is as hurt as he says so he stops talking. It’s definitely not cool to kiss your friend’s girl, at least without their consent, so when your friend punishes you, you better take it.
Break ≠ Break-up
Ross and Rachel get in a fight and Rachel suggests taking a break. Thinking she’s with someone else, Ross has a one night stand. Rachel thinks it’s cheating, Ross doesn’t. In order to avoid confusion, make it an official break-up, even if it hurts. Or maybe talk it out like the grown-ups you are and avoid infidelity altogether.