Image via Complex Original
Hot Cheetos and Takis: These spicy chips were the subject of last year's "Hot Cheetos and Takis," which featured young kids rapping about the spicy snacks. While kids love the fiery treats, it was recently discovered that the spices in Hot Cheetos (and probably Takis too) can erode the stomach lining and land children in the ER.
As adults, we're old enough to make our own choices (but usually not smart enough to make good ones). But, hey, at least when we eat one of these 15 Snacks More Dangerous Than Flamin' Hot Cheetos, we'll know what we're getting ourselves into.
Takis
Danger rating: 3
Potential side effects: Ulcers, gastritis
Takis are the new Flamin' Hot Cheetos. And, considering these little rolled up corn snacks are usually covered in something spicy, they can also eat away at the stomach lining like Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Takis are rumored to cause ulcers and they are also rumored to cause cancer. Allegedly, a toddler got throat cancer from eating too many Takis and pediatricians are claiming that because Takis increase the stomach acidity (and turn feces red or orange), people show up at emergency rooms with their bodies in a Taki tantrum. Obviously, kids shouldn't be eating this stuff, but just try to rip these taco-shaped treats out of a twelve-year-old's grubby hands. It's like trying to take molly away from Miley Cyrus.
Four Loko
Danger rating: 5
Potential side effects: Coma, heart attack
This magical mixture of a depressant (alcohol) and a stimulant (energy drink) was basically like drinking absinthe, gasoline fluid, and poison before they reformulated the drink. Even hardened alcoholics couldn't get through a giant can of Four Loko without crying, taking off their clothes in public, puking in a gutter, or (in most cases) all of the above. One can of Four Loko had the equivalent of four cans of beers (or five shots of vodka) and the caffeine content of three cups of coffee. The drink was implicated in several medical matters, including comas and deaths, forcing the FDA to rule that caffeine is an "unsafe additive" to food.
Pop Rocks
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Ulcers, lost teeth
Essentially sugar exposed to pressurized carbon dioxide gas, Pop Rocks were trendiest in the late '70s/early '80s. Since then, the Pop Rocks formula has been changed to make them less “poppy” and less dangerous. However, urban legend says that eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coke can cause a person’s stomach to explode. So many people bought into the rumor that parents went on full-fledged campaigns to get Pop Rocks made illegal. We can’t speak for other Pop Rocks fans, but the author of this piece did lose one of her baby teeth while eating Pop Rocks with Coke. So, there's that.
Ring Pops
Danger rating: 3
Potential side effects: Choking
In third grade, if someone asked you to marry them with a ring pop, it was a sign of unwavering love—at least until you finished eating it. Originally designed to help relieve thumbsucking, Ring Pops are delicious little fruit-flavored lollipopst that glisten like a sugary diamond. The juices dripped down your fingers, and, sometimes, the whole candy broke off at the plastic base, posing a choking hazard. That hasn't kept ring pops off the shelves though; Miley Cyrus used a molly-laced Ring Pop in her "We Can't Stop" video, effectively bringing the trippy candy back into the club kid consciousness.
Lucas Mexican Candy
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Loss of nasal lining
Speaking of cocaine, Lucas Mexican Candy has debuted many questionable candy concoctions, but the worst has to be their vile of sugary cayenne pepper. In middle school, kids would snort that shit like drugs and it would eat their nasal passages. The spices in the Mexican candy also have the same effect as those in Flamin' Hot Cheetos or Takis, but the method of ingestion is obviously a lot more dramatic. Put any kind of powder around a kid and their initial instinct will be putting it up their nose; It's (tiny) human nature.
Olestra Potato Chips
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Gastrointestinal problems, diarrhea, cramps
Back in the '90s, before big booties were in style and everyone wanted to look like a waifish slacker, diet foods were totally in. Not the gluten-free, organic, no preservatives stuff we have today, but cookies and chips that were totally fat free but laced with cancer-causing chemicals. The biggest culprit were chips made out of a malevolent kind of grease called Olestra. It was approved by the FDA in 1996 to make high-fat foods fat-free, but that magic came at a price. The price was hardcore gastrointestinal problems like super-explosive diarrhea and painful abdominal cramps. Despite being banned in many countries because of these issues, Olestra is still legal in the United States and used in chips for constipated people who want a crappy (pun intended) snack to munch on.
Microwave Popcorn
Danger rating: 4
Potential side effects: Cancer, bronchiolitis obliterans
Swapped that bag of Fritos for some popcorn, thinking that was the healthier choice? Bad move, bruh. While Fritos are pretty awful for your health, they aren't packed full of chemicals like those little bags of warm, buttery heaven. One man recently won a $7.2 million lawsuit claiming that the vapors from a microwave popcorn gave him a rare form of lung cancer. Bags of popcorn are coated with perfluorooctanoic acid, which is considered a carcinogen, and diacetyl, which causes bronchiolitis obliterans, or, "popcorn workers lung," which sounds like some sort of Victorian plight. Popcorn kernels also chip teeth and bags can cause burns. Basically, microwave popcorn is the worst snack ever invented, mostly because it tastes so damn good.
Coke
Danger rating: 3
Potential side effects: Addiction, corroded teeth
When Coca-Cola was first created it contained coca leaves (the plant the makes cocaine) and kola nut. But, ironically, Coke is now is more like drinking heroin. After the body experiences the massive amounts of sugar and the resulting insulin spike, dopamine is released, mimicking heroin. While you're getting high off of dopamine and caffeine, Orthophosphoric Acid is corroding the teeth and bone, sodium benzoate is deactivating DNA, and somewhere, someone smart is using coke to clean their toliet. Earlier this year, a New Zealand woman who drank up to 10 liters of Coke a day died from cardiac arrest. This was after she'd had her teeth removed a few years before because of tooth decay caused by Coke.
Ackee Fruit
Danger rating: 5
Potential side effects: Hypoglycemia, death
To be fair, ackee fruit is not a very common snack, especially since it's banned from import into the United States. But that's for good reason. Jamaica's natural fruit may look like a mixture of a pomegranate and a strange tropical flower and essential fatty acids, protein, vitamin a, and zinc make it a healthy choice. However, if not ripened properly, it contains a toxin that can cause hypoglycemia, which stops glucose production in the liver. If you're lucky, you just vomit. Those who are not have died from eating this exotic fruit.
Jelly Candy
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Choking, cancer, dental issues
Jelly beans. Gummy bears. Sour Patch Kids. Gummy worms. Those little weird jello-like things in the liquid-y cups that were outlawed years ago. Besides all the sugar that tweaks little kids out, artificial foods dyes can cause cancer and the chewiness can pull out fillings. And, of course, any kind of jelly candy is a massive chocking hazard. Don't believe us? In 2001, Safeway removed those little jellies in a cup from their shelves because two children reportedly died from choking on them. When the jellies get cold, the can wedge into the esophagus, warm up, and seal into place. It sounds like the scene from Jawbreaker, only in real life and more awful, doesn't it?
Hot Dogs
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Colorectal cancer, choking
Insert phallic joke here. Hot dogs don't just make for lame dirty jokes, they pose a slew of health risks. The American Pediatric Society says that hot dogs are a chocking hazard, with 17% of asphyxiations in young children being cause by hot dogs. Not only that, the processed meat in hot dogs increases the risk of colorectal cancer by 21% and the chemicals in hot dogs are often compared to smoking a cigarette. Their fat content increases your risk for diabetes, heart disease, and more. One of the major cancer-causing additives, nitrates, are found in both regular hot dogs and the hippie natural food store varieties. Turns out, they're not a healthy alternative. Next time you go to a baseball game, stick with peanuts or Cracker Jacks.
Kinder Surprise
Danger rating: 1
Potential side effects: Choking
Cute and chocolaty—a winning combination that was banned from the United States because it was totally unsafe for little children who would die (literally) to get their grimy little paws on a Kinder Surprise. For those unaware, a Kinder Surprise is a genius German creation, almost as strangely stylish as their cards, wherein a tiny toy (or parts of toys) reside in a chocolaty shell. Cracked open with the mouth, the toys are reviled for posing a choking hazard to toddlers who don't know how to not put everything in their mouths. Over the years, there has been a pretty solid black-market for the dangerous toy treats, including smuggling from Canada or Mexico, or shipping tricks from the Kinder website. Any facsimile can't compare to the a) surprise of the toy in the chocolate, and b) the Ferraro chocolate this delicious choking hazard is surrounded with.
Energy Drinks
Danger rating: 5
Potential side effects: Cardiac arrest, liver injuries, diabetes
Monster: It's a hell of a drug. Years ago, there was a rumor that Axl Rose from Guns 'n' Roses was admitted to the hospital because he overdosed on an energy drink. This was before the vitamin-loaded, super-caffeinated drink was even popular. Excess consumption of Vitamin B-12 is said to cause liver and nerve injury and people with pre-existing heart conditions can have issues, including cardiac arrest. Even the non-sugar-free versions can trigger for Type 2 Diabetes. These drinks are also proven to increase anxiety and risky behaviors, while also leading to severe addiction. Sip with caution.
French Fries
Danger rating: 2
Potential side effects: Cancer
Oui, that's right. French fries are a danger to one's health. And not just because these deep-fried slivers of carb-y goodness are, well, deep-fried slivers of carb-y goodness, but because the FDA has discovered a carcinogen called acrylamide in America's favorite guilty pleasure.
In 2002, it was found that this chemical caused cancer in fry chompin' rat. Over the last decade, it was discovered that the crispier the fry, the more likely it is to cause cancer. That's fine for those that like their potato nuggets as bland and soggy as their personality. But for the crispy-lovers among us, it's devastating news.