Image via Complex Original
2014 is upon us and while some of us have resolved to go the gym, work-out, and eat right, others have contemplated their mortality at the bottom of Scotch glass and woke up slightly bruised with only a breakfast burrito in mind.
If you want to find a grease pit sort of place to sop up the booze in your system, here are 25 of the most delicious and restorative meals for your post-partying needs. Because if you're going to YOLO the night away, always remember the motto: Party hardy and then eat hearty. You deserve it.
25. The Boston Restaurant and Sports Bar
City: Boston
Address: All over
Website:bostons.com
Best hangover dish: The Pizzaburger
Can't decide between a pizza and a burger? Don't worry. The The Boston Restaurant and Sports Bar has made the decision for your poor hungover brain with their Pizzaburger. The restaurant calls it their new "bundle of joy," probably because after eating one, your belly will look like you are ready to pop out your own little chubby-cheeked grease-monster. The burger itself isn't just a cheeseburger; it's a bacon cheeseburger that's wrapped in what is essentially a calzone, but called a pizza since it's probably easier for the beer-addled to pronounce. In case you were worried about calories, the whole thing is only 1,360 which is a little less than the recommended daily value for most people, so it's a good thing you puked up all the food you ate the night before.
24. Nick Tahou Hots
City: Rochester, N.Y.
Address: 320 W Main St.
Website:garbageplate.com
Best hangover dish: Garbage Plates
Most restaurants don't have a Wikipedia for their dishes, but the disgustingly-monikered Garbage Plates at Nick Tahou Hots are so much more delicious than the banana peels, two-week old marinara sauce, and condoms that you'd find in a regular garbage that they have their own Wikipedia page. According to the entry (which morbidly cites Health.com saying that the Garbage Plate is "the fattiest food" in New York), a Garbage Plate is a mixture of "cheeseburger, hamburger, red hots, white hots, Italian sausage, chicken tender, fish, fried ham, grilled cheese, or eggs." Everything is served with two sides like French fries or baked beans. It might be the fattiest dish in New York, but it sounds like a necessary evil to dig through after a night of getting trashed in Times Square.
23. Wafels and Dinges Truck
City: New York
Address: All over New York City
Website: wafelsanddinges.com
Best Hangover Dish: Unlimited Dinges Waffle
Wafles and Dinges isn't indicative of your inability to spell while inebriated. It's a bomb-ass food truck in New York City that serves up sweet and savory mouthfuls on a legit light and crispy Brussels wafel or a soft and chewy Liege wafel. Sweet toppings include dulce de leche, spekuloos spread, maple syrup, nutella, or Belgian chocolate fudge while the savory toppings are BBQ pulled pork, chile con carne, and the perfect hangover wafel called "wake up, grumpy" with egg, bacon, and cheese which is sold in the café. For the risk-takers, there's the Unlimited Dinges Wafel where you can put any sort of topping you want on there and mix it with whatever you want. Which is probably what you did with your booze last night and which is probably why you're feeling the way that you do.
22. Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles
City: Los Angeles, CA.
Address: 106 W Manchester Ave.
Website: roscoeschickenandwaffles.com
Best hangover dish: Chicken and Waffles
Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in Los Angeles is not only an institution, it's a way of life and a ritual. On Sunday morning, lines go down the street with families waiting to combine the holy trinity of crispy, juicy chicken, gorgeously plump and airy Belgian waffles, and a maple syrup that seeps into every crunchy nook and cranny. Two scoops of butter melt lasciviously into the waffle holes and puddle down on the plate, while you slop the whole affair up with bits of fried chicken and waffle on your fork. The atmosphere at Roscoe's is lively, so it's not for those drunkards with a raging headache, but maybe, if you haven't pissed anyone off while hammering drinks at the local watering hole, you'll score on some Roscoe's delivered to your beside. A man can dream.
21. La Fonda Boricua
City: Harlem, NY
Address: 169 E 106th St.
Website: fondaboricua.com
Best hangover dish: Grande Pernil with Mofongo
After puking up some Hurricanes and Sex on the Beaches, clean up your ecosystem with some Latin flava at La Fonda Boricua in Spanish Harlem. The meal of choice for hangover sufferers is a rich Grande Pernil with delicious Mofongo. The smoky roasted pork of the pernil is juicy and flavorful, enough to make you salivate just thinking about it, and the deep-friend plantains a/k/a Mofongo are mashed to the right consistency so you don't even have to worry about chewing that much if you're feeling extra lazy. An added bonus is that plantains are good sources of potassium-exactly what your electrolyte deprived body needs after too much rum and Coca-Cola.
20. Pancake Pantry
City: Nashville, Tenn.
Address: 1796 21st Ave S
Website: thepancakepantry.com
Best hangover dish: Santa Fe Cornmeal Pancakes
Pancakes aren't a traditional hangover food, but the sweet, doughy masterpieces of human innovation are just as good as sopping up leftover whiskey shots as they are maple syrup. The Pancake Pantry in Nashville brings fluffy stacked goodness to Music City and their most notable pancake to make the sweet-and-salty palate go berserk is the Santa Fe Cornmeal pancakes recycled from the Village Smithy restaurant in Colorado. The cakes are pure decadence with only a minor relation to classic pancakes. Made from stone-ground cornmeal the pancakes are stuffed with chunks of bacon, Cheddar cheese, and roasted green chiles. Instead of just the requisite maple syrup, the restaurant recommends that and hot picante salsa and sour cream. Even if it sounds a little suspect, it deserves its own country song, that's how much it breaks our heart with ventricle-throbbing joy.
19. Muzz and Stan's Freeway Tavern
City: Butte, Mont.
Address: 2001 S Montana St.
Website: none
Best hangover dish: Wop Chop
Taking deep-fried pork to a whole new level, the Wop Chop at Muzz and Stan's is old-school '50s style with a deep-fried pork chop sandwich that brings you back to the good old days when Grandpa was hiding his porn and drinking habit from Grandma and Grandma was popping pills before her bridge game with the Johnsons. Just like their souls, the pork chop cutlet is "beat 'n battered," but sitting pretty atop a fluffy all-American hamburger bun. Accompanied by sour cream and a side of fries called jo-jos, the Wop Chop will get you back on the saddle again in the cowboy country of Montana. Yee-haw.
18. Nosh Kitchen Bar
City: Portland, Maine
Address: 551 Congress St.
Website: noshkitchenbar.com
Best hangover dish: Apocalypse Now Burger
Last night might have been the end of the world as you know it, but with an Apocalypse Now burger from the Nosh Kitchen Bar, you'll feel fine. If you're looking to kill any free time you might have for the rest of the day with a meaty, fatty snooze button called the Apocalypse Now burger, you can find it in the from of a juicy pork and beef patty atop a buttery brioche bun and topped with bacon, American cheese, mayo, cherry jam, decadent foie gras, and if the other pork wasn't enough, crispy pork belly. It's not one of those things you can eat all the time, or even completely, but once the party is over i.e. this party called life, who cares what you do? Live each day like it's your last. Which it might be if you regularly eat this burger.
17. Hot Sauce Williams
City: Cleveland, Ohio
Address: 7815 Carnegie Ave.
Website: hotsaucewilliamsbbq.com
Best hangover dish: Polish Boy
What's long, strong, and bound to get feeling oh-so-wrong? A Polish Boy. Regardless of how you pronounce "Polish" that sounds perverse, but nothing can be as deliciously naughty as the Polish Boy was Hot Sauce Williams in Cleveland. Created in Cleveland, the Polish Boy is a kielbasa sandwich that's placed in a bun with a dribble of Hot Sauce Williams' hot sauce buried alive by coleslaw and homemade French fries. If this is what a Polish Boy tastes like, we want to know what a Polish Girl would have to offer.
16. Sarussi
City: Miami, Fla.
Address: 6797 SW 8th S
Website: sarussisubs.com
Best hangover dish: Cuban sandwich
We all live in a yellow submarine and with the price and size of the sub sandwiches at Sarussi's in Miami, we actually could. The restaurant cites themselves as the best and biggest submarine in Miami according to the Travel Channel and with a Cuban bakery on every corner, that's quite a hard title to snag. The original subs, which are like the size of the average human arm, are porked-up modified Cuban sandwiches of roast pork, ham, mozzarella, and pickles. Added the secret sauce and a previous night of hallucinatory fantasies and you'll have just the right amount of meat the quell the food-mental and physical---to sustain your tripped-out existence.
15. Stuff Yer Face
City: New Brunswick, NJ
Address: 6797 SW 8th S
Website: styffyerfce.com
Best hangover dish: Make-Your-Own-Stromboli
Get stuffed with a savory Stromboli from Stuff Yer Face in New Jersey. This thing was made by the boozing gods to appease the firewater furies after a long night of drinking in their honor. Stromboli's come with different stuffings of meat, vegetables, seafood, or cheeses and at Stuff Yer Face there are 30 different kinds of stuffing you can put in your Stromboli, basically giving you 1.1 billion Boli options (they did the math for you). If that's too complicated, you can pick from their 32 different Stromboli options including pepperoni, steak, meatball eggplant, and the Super Bowli.
14. D'Arcy's Pint
City: Springfield, Ill.
Address: 661 W Stanford Ave.
Website: darcyspintonline.com
Best hangover dish: Horseshoe Sandwich
If you're a betting man on the racetrack, you might need a lucky Horseshoe to guide you through your most awful of racetrack-induced drinking. The Horseshoe is thick crunchy bread, arranged in an open-faced sandwich style like a horseshoe. Created in Springfield, D'Arcy's Pint is considered the best but it's also a beast. One Horseshoe has about the same caloric power as five Big Macs, which for the hungover, means it must have five times the power, right? All the booze and belly-busting comes from the barrage of ingredient-which includes a choice of meat, bread, and a giant pile of French fries covered in cheese sauce--on this stallion of a sandwich.
13. Munchies 4:20
City: Sarasota, Fla.
Address: 6639 Superior Ave.
Website: munchies420cafe.com
Best hangover dish: Fat Daddy
Lots of women like a big fat daddy, so if you need some bulking up to score those femme chubby chasers, you should probably try the Fat Daddy from the perfectly-named Munchies 4:20 in Sarasota. Even if you have the munchies, you'll probably have to divvy out this meal slowly to all your friends. One serving is everything you've ever dreamed of in stoner food and more. This place doesn't care if its reminiscent but its damned good. The Fat Daddy will make you drool with cheeseburger, philly works, chicken fingers, mozzarella stix, potatoes, lettuce, mayo, and more.
12. Ike's Place
City: San Francisco
Address: 3489 16th St.
Website: ilikeikesplace.com
Best hangover dish: The Doomsday
San Francisco has so many amazing places to eat that it's hard to pick just one (or even be negative about the food scene.) But if you went on a bender after feeling the blues last night, the best way to cheer you up is The Doomsday from Ike's Place. This isn't just your average sammie. The Doomsday is the stuff of carnivorous dreams. It's full of death-defying meats like roast beef, corned beef, pastrami, salami, turkey, bacon, ham, and habanero salsa, mozzarella sticks, stuffed jalapeno poppers, and extra jack cheese. If this is really how the world ends, bring it on.
11. Lucha Libre Gourmet Taco Shop
City: San Diego
Address: 1810 W Washington St.
Website: tacosmackdown.com
Best hangover dish: Surfin' California Burrito
Spent all night wrestlin' card sharks while swilling gnarly brews? Go on a surfin' safari, homeslice. The Lucha Libre Gourmet Taco Shop in San Diego is a surf and turf burrito that tastes sweet after a night getting wiley with babes in the Gaslight District. The burrito has something to satisfy every taste bud: meaty carne asada, succulent shrimp, avocado slices, pico de gallo, cheese, and French fries, all topped by a creamy chipotle sauce. You can dip this big boy in one of the special salsas that are so damn good, it's like getting body slammed. Some of the best include a creamy jalapeno cilantro sauce and a Hawaiian, perfectly flavored to inspire you to relinquish your mouth-wetting ways for some super sweet waves.
10. Hash House A Go Go
City: Las Vegas, Nev.
Address: 6800 W Sahara Ave.
Website: hashhouseagogo.com
Best hangover dish: Fried Chicken Eggs Benedict
What came first? The chicken or the egg? At the Hash House A Go Go in Las Vegas, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so you might as well keep the party going with a fried and smothered vice that won't get your fired and mothered once the incriminating pictures go up on Facebook. The Fried Chicken Eggs Benedict is about as big as the Jackpot you walked away from at the slots and smothered in chipotle cream with peppers. The rest of this decadent beauty is dressed up like a Vegas showgirl in everything we'd want to put in our mouth: scrambled eggs, mozzarella seeped in the flavors from the griddle, fried chicken, spinach, tomato, bacon and a biscuit on top of potatoes. It might be as good for your heart as those strange white lines you had off the stripper your boys ordered up to the bedroom, but it's a lot less likely to get you in trouble with your little lady back home. That we will bet on.
9. Time-Out
City: Chapel Hill, NC
Address: 33 W Franklin St.
Website: facebook.com/TimeOut133
Best hangover dish: Chicken and Cheddar Biscuit
You can't travel back in time to correct all the poor choices you made drinking, but you can give yourself some time to reflect over a steaming cup of coffee and a barrage of angry text messages at Time-Out in Chapel Hill. The place has a plethora of belly-altering dishes for the lily-livered but their most infamous menu item is what has been deemed the "Chapel Hill Rite of Passage": the chicken and cheddar biscuit. Everything you'd wish from a easy-to-eat breakfast handheld, the Chicken and Cheddar biscuit is a flat-topped biscuit that squeezes a sexy piece of fried chicken in with sharp cheddar. It seems simple, but these are the sorts of flavors that transcend time, space, and that annoying late morning queasiness that always kicks in.
8. Friendly Toast
City: Boston
Address: 1 Kendall Square b3101
Website: thefriendlytoast.net
Best Hangover Dish: The D.G.G.C
The Friendly Toast is just like your local bar. It's always fun, delicious, and everyone likes to go there because its not too pretentious but also completely comfortable. The dishes at Friendly Toast aren't typical greasy spoon fare and they aren't a champagne brunch; they're right in the middle and perfect for just about everyone. For those that got confused about how much champagne they were supposed to consume the night before, The Friendly Toast is rife with great hangover cures like the appropriately –titled "Drunkard's French Toast" drenched in Grand Marnier and the Green Eggs and Ham. But the classic all American dish that makes you want to come back again and again is the D.G.G.C or the damn good grilled cheese that has cayenne cheddar bread, cheddar and American cheese, olive-garlic spread, and strawberry-habanero sauce on the side.
7. Iron Barley
City: St. Louis
Address: 5510 Virginia Ave
Website: ironbarley.com
Best hangover dish: Monte Cristo Hot Dog
Do it doggstyle and do it in style. At the Iron Barley in St. Louis, the Monte Cristo Hot Dog is hands down the most scandalous play on the two classic diner dishes that we've ever seen. Two all-beef hot dogs are cut spread-eagle, slathered with jammy strawberry and pungent Swiss cheese atop a soft-bun. The open-faced concoction is different than most other hot dogs because its more or less meant to be cut with a fork and knife due to the size, but after where your hands were last night you might not want to put them anywhere near your mouth.
6. El Tepeyac Café
City: Los Angeles
Address: 812 N Evergreen Ave.
Website: manuelseltepeyac.com
Best hangover dish: Machaca Burrito
Even if it's biologically and physiologically incapable for you to give birth to a child, you can understand what carrying one feels like if you gorge out on the entire Machaca burrito at El Tepeyac Café. This thing is a fiesta in your mouth and just the monstrosity to complement your Patron breath from the night before. El Tepeyac is a tight squeeze and the lines are long, but once you've got this football sized burrito in your hands (or slathered with cheese and salsa on your plate, which is probably safer), you'll understand the restorative powers of the burrito. Apparently, there burritos are upwards of five pounds and are spilling over with succulent dried beef, eggs, onions, tomatoes, chiles, and cheese. If you can finish one of these bad boys in one sitting, you're a bigger man than us. Probably literally.
5. La Moon Restaurant
City: Miami
Address: 97 SW 8th St.
Website: lamoonrestaurantmiami.com
Best hangover dish: Supermoon Perro
Welcome to Miami. If you've ever partied in Miami, you know the morning after can be a sun-drenched doozy but luckily there's something heavenly to save your life post hip-hop-strip-club-orgy: the Supermoon Perro at La Moon. Basically the hot dog that makes every adult man drool, the Supermoon is a giant hot dog ("perro") that is smoked sausage, bacon, potato strips, and a quail egg served with shredded cheese, five different sauces, and plated with a side of chips. The whole thing comes on a long, soft bun that just loves to soak up all those meaty juices. So, totally reminiscent of your hip-hop-strip-club orgy the night before. It's the circle of life, bro.
4. Mother's Restaurant
City: New Orleans
Address: 401 Poydras St.
Website: tmothersrestaurant.net
Best hangover dish: Ferdi Special Po Boy Sandwich
The Louisiana tradition named "Po' Boy" means exactly what it sounds like: poor boy. Which is what you're probably telling yourself after a night of hardcore partying during the Sugar Bowl, so a po' boy is a perfect way to soothe yourself before the delirium tremens kicks in. Served on a crunchy-crusted baguette with a soft center, Po Boys can have a variance of fillings but the Ferdi Special at Mother's Restaurant is a deliciously hot mess. A long, thick loaf that would make any French woman squeal with delight is topped with roast beef and Mother's ham and is dressed with cabbage, pickle, yellow mustard, and creole mustard. It sits perfectly moist and dripping in a pool of gravy and debris. No matter what team wins, your body will be rooting for the Ferdi Special come next day.
3. Primanti Bros.
City: Pittsburgh
Address: 46 18th St.
Website: primantibros.com
Best hangover dish: French Fries sandwich
Skin tinged shades of black and yellow from all your late night fighting and fiesta-ing? Pittsburgh has the cure for all the drunkards in Steeler Country. The Primanti Brothers sandwich is what big-bellied American dreams are made of. Every sandwich n the one-time trucker lunch stop is balanced atop chewy Italian bread. In the case of their infamous Pastrami and cheese. Juicy pastrami drips down the side of the bread into a meaty little pool, while the light flavors of Provolone cheese act as the perfect dairy adhesive for a tangy grip of slaw and crunchy French fries jammed in the middle. For a salty kick to go with some hair-of-the-dog beer swilling, add a fried egg or some sardines.
2. Schmidt's Sausage House
City: Columbus, Ohio
Address: 240 E Kossuth St.
Website: schmidthaus.com
Best hangover dish: All-you-can-eat sausage buffet
Go from one sausage party to another. If you spent all night in the club lurking on girls with your bros and struck out, give your poor wounded stomach lining something to finally hold onto. There's no shortage of artery clogging meat at Schmidt's Sausage House which not only boasts a plethora of sausages, but an All-You-Can-Eat Sausage Buffet called "The Autobahn" for those that are extra gluttonous. Situated in the German Village, Schmidt Sausage House has specialized in everything saturated since 1886. The sausages vary from bratwurst, knockwurst, and homemade specialties, one called the Bahama Mama. There's also side dishes like coleslaw, German potato salad, mac and cheese, a sausage stew, salad, and more. But why would you waste your precious intestinal room on anything that wasn't mildly derivative?
1. The Arcade Restaurant
City: Memphis, Tenn.
Address: 540 S Main St.
Website: arcaderesturaunt.com
Best hangover dish: Elvis sandwich
After a wild night out partying, sometimes all you need is a hunka burning fat to keep your liver alive and ready to party after you give up on all your New Year's Resolutions. The Elvis Sandwich at the Arcade in Memphis isn't some childish affair you pair with a glass of milk while watching cartoons; this is adult shit. The ooey-gooey peanut butter melts into a sea of sweet melted banana, placed on the most American of breads: Wonder bread. Instead of letting everything amalgamate into a soft indiscernible texture, the whole thing is topped with crispy, salty bacon and pan-fried to lardy perfection fit for a King.