Image via Complex Original
intro
If you went to college where frat parties ruled everything around you, and you didn't spend four years geeking out with the intramural ultimate squad, you're familiar with the term, "captain an' coke."
This mixture of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and cola is a favorite among the bro set for it's sweet cola flavor, accented by hints of nutmeg and vanilla. In other words, it goes down smooth.
But did you know Captain Morgan was a real person? Here's everything you need to know about one of the world's most badass pirates.
Man vs Cartoon
Captain Morgan: Man vs Cartoon
Most people only know Captain Morgan as the swashbuckling logo on the rum bottle (above, left). Nice boots.
In real life, Sir Henry Morgan (1635-1688) was an admiral in the Royal British Navy who battled the Spanish across the Caribbean. Between 1667-1972 he defeated the Spanish Main in Cuba, Costa Rica, Panama, and Columbia.
The technical term for Morgan's occupation was "privateer." But when you're feared throughout the new world for taking lives and treasure, especially when there's a peace treaty between your country and Spain, it's easy to drop a few letters and turn "privateer" into "pirate."
Morgan is woven into the fabric of Panama's history. The stories may vary but everyone knows his name. The painting of him (above, right) hangs in a bar in Portobelo, where Morgan first took a Spanish stronghold in 1668.
Captain Morgan Takes Panama
The Panama Campaign
There are three battles that cemented the legacy of Captain Morgan in Panama.
A. Portobelo - This Spanish city was thought to be impenetrable but in 1668, Morgan pulled off the imposible and took the city from the sea.
B. Fort San Lorenzo - This stronghold protected the mouth of the Chagres river, aka the original Panama Canal. This was the only route to Panama City that didn't involve sailing around South America to the Pacific Ocean. Morgan attacked it in December 1670, which set up his final push to take Panama City.
C. Panama City - After sacking Fort San Lorenzo, Morgan headed south on the Chagres, then parked his boats and marched by land to Panama City. By February 1971, Panama City was conquered and burned to the ground. It's unclear whether the city was destroyed by the Spanish to spoil Morgan's victory, or by Morgan because he was just a real bad guy.
Portobelo
Morgan Sacks Portobelo
In July 1688, Morgan took his first crack at the Spanish in Panama who were using Portobelo to offload the silver they were mining in the south. It was one of the wealthiest cities in the new world.
Protected by two forts on either side of the harbor, Portobelo was thought to be impenetrable. Though some had attacked before, none had succeeded.
Morgan attacked by night and took the Spanish by surprise. By dawn, he was Portobelo's new HPIC (Head Pirate in Charge). He threatened to level the city if the Spanish didn't pay up. They coughed up 350,000 pesos ($18 million by today's standards).
After fleecing Portobelo for all it was worth, Morgan departed Panama to organize his next attack against the Spanish in Cartegena, Colombia.
Fort San Lorzeno
Fort San Lorzeno / The Wreck Site
In July 1670 the Spanish and the British signed a peace treaty banning attacks in the new world. During that time, Morgan was at sea plotting his invasion of Panama City. Allegedly, Morgan's iPhone battery died (kidding) so word of the treaty didn't reach him until after he took Panama City the following year.
Fort San Lorenzo stands atop a cliff at the mouth of the Chagres river, protecting the only path to Panama City that didn't involve sailing around South America to the Pacific Ocean.
In January 1671, led by Colonel Joseph Bradley, Morgan's advance team of 500 men took the fort after a bloody week of fighting. When Morgan arrived a few days later he made the dumbest move of his career and grounded five of his ships on the coral reefs below the fort. Doooh!
The irony of the legend of Morgan the pirate is that he wasn't known as a proficient sailor. He was fixated on kicking ass and taking money. Sailing... not so much. Which side is starboard, again?
Those sunken ships, including Morgan's flagship, the Satisfaction, have remained underwater to this day. Only now has the area been turned into an archaeological dive site.
The Archaeologists
The Archaeologists
There are treasure hunters and there are archaeologists. These dudes are the latter... as in, they dig stuff up for history, not cheddar.
Since last year, Diageo (the company that makes Captain Morgan's rum) has funded their operation to unearth the wrecks and turn the artifacts over to the Panamanian government for safe keeping.
Pictured (L-R): Ben Ford, Jason Nunn, Project Director Frederick “Fritz” Hanselmann, and Chris Morris.
Photo by: Jonathan Kingston / Captain Morgan
The Dive Site
The Dive Site - Hunt for the Satisfaction
So far the team has mapped a large section of the ocean floor below Fort San Lorenzo and has been successfully excavating artifacts.
Despite these early successes, they have not pinpointed the resting place of the Satisfaction. Project Director Fritz Hanselmann, is confident they are narrowing in on their ultimate goal.
Fritz Hanselmann
Excavating the Dive Site
When searching for the lost treasure of Captain Morgan, it helps to have a project director who styles his hair like a pirate.
Here, on an overcast summer day, Project Director Fritz Hanselmann, pulls up the blade of a sword from the wreck the team is currently surveying.
Captain Morgan Artifacts
Captain Morgan's Artifacts
The mission isn't all about unearthing treasure chests of gold doubloons. Of the items the dive team has discovered, many are for war games: cannons, cannon balls, and various other pirate weapons of mass destruction.
When the team removes an item from the wreckage it is transported to Panama City where it undergoes a long chemical process of reconstitution and preservation like this cannon (pictured above).
Captain Morgan and Coconut Water
Celebrating the Life of Captain Morgan... With Rum
The tale of Captain Morgan ends like this: After manhandling the Spanish at Fort San Lorenzo and Panama City, Morgan was carted back to England to stand trial for violating the 1670 Peace Treaty of Madrid.
He beat the rap. Wink, wink. And the British government expressed it's disdain by making him the Lieutenant Governor of Jamaica, where he lived out the remainder of his days before dying of gout in 1688. He's the only Caribbean pirate to retire and die of natural causes.
That's cause for celebration but if banging down a flight of captain an' cokes will prevent you from squeezing your ass into your 34" APC denims, there's another more calorie-friendly option: Rum x Coconut water - a fan favorite among the locals in Port Antonio, Jamaica.
1. Fill a glass with ice.
2. Pour a 1/2 glass of your favorite Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
3. Fill the remainder of the glass with coconut water (Rihanna drinks it, so it must be delicious).
4. Stir and garnish with lime.
PS - Don't drink and sail. Just because Captain Morgan ran some ships aground doesn't mean you have to.