Image via Complex Original
The only time your mom, girlfriend, roommate, or a co-worker who is misguided into thinking your friendship extends to outside the cubicle can get you to attend an event is if there are free drinks to be had. There's no shame in that game. We all play it.
Having some semblance of a social life ain't cheap in New York City. The rent for your shoebox apartment could buy half the Midwest and parts of Hawaii. So, when someone says free and your toes start to quiver, embrace it. Here are 25 free things happening this holiday season that will get you out of bed. Don't fight the toe tingle.
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New York Holiday Lights Tour
Date: Thursday, December 5 through Sunday, January 5
Time: Depends on when you make your reservation
Location: Begins at the Starbucks and ends at Rockefeller Center
Perfect for: Gawking at lights like a little kid; seeing spots for the rest of the week
Website: freetoursbyfoot.com
Paris is nicknamed the "City of Lights", but no one touches holiday season in NYC. Every single block is home to enough flourescent bulbs to rival the sun and this tour takes you to all the best spots. Insanely lit trees, sick store displays and all the temporary blindess you can deal with: how could you say no to this?
Watch the East Meets West Christmas Parade
Date: Saturday, December 21
Time: 2 p.m.
Location: Begins at Mulberry St. on Canal St., and ends at Chatham Square
Perfect for: Experiencing awesome cultural mash-ups
Website: mommypoppins.com
This will be the seventh year for the parade, which winds it's way through both Chinatown and Little Italy. It's like getting to see two parades for the price of none, with a little learning mixed in. Organizers claim that this parade is the second largest in NYC, behind the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It features Asian and Italian singers, floats, and dragon dancers.
Head Over to Gifted, the Brooklyn Flea's Holiday Market
Date: November 30th through March; Saturdays and Sundays
Time: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
Location: Skylight One Hanson; 1 Hanson Place, Fort Greene
Perfect for: Picking up some handmade wares to spruce up your apartment
Website: brooklynflea.com
It's easy to to have neglected shopping for cool items for your apartment over the summer; you hardly spent time inside, anyway. But what will you do when it's so cold outside that you just decide to stay in? Hit up the 100-plus vendors on the three floors of Gifted, and check out the vintage art and artisanal food. The influx of culture into your place will definitely impress your friends. You can find great gifts, too.
Catch a Flick at the Museum of the Moving Image
Date: Various
Time: Various
Location: 36-01 35 Ave., Astoria
Perfect for: Ditching work early to watch a movie
Website: movingimage.us
What to do on those Fridays when you can skip out of work early, but you don't have anyone to hang with for a few hours? Easy-just catch a free movie at the Museum of the Moving Image. There are worse ways to spend your free time than watching Fight Club or Invasion of the Body Snatchers for the 20th time.
See A {15 Minute!} Christmas Carol
Date: December 18 - 20, 2013
Time: 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 p.m.
Location: World Financial Center; 200 Vesey St., 11th Floor
Perfect for: Getting some culture without spending hours in a theater
Website: brookfieldplaceny.com
Around the holiday season, you have all these obligations: buying gifts, meeting with family, religious observances, and more. With your schedule packed, you might not have a few hours (or you might be too exhausted) for a date night, so check out this 15-minute rendition of A Christmas Carol. Catch a showing by sneaking away during your lunch break with your significant other.
Skate at Citi Pond
Date: Sunday - Saturday
Time: 8 a.m. - 12 a.m.
Location: Bryant Park on Sixth Avenue
Perfect for: A cliched, but effective date
Website: wintervillage.org
One of the great things about Citi Pond is that admission is free, unlike some of the other, famous skating rinks (just make sure you bring your own skates, because renting will cost you). Also, don't forget the ice packs, because busting your ass on ice hurts like a mother.
Hit Up the Brooklyn Night Bazaar
Date: Fridays and Saturdays, until December 22
Time: 6 p.m. - midnight
Location: 165 Banker St, Brooklyn
Perfect for: Checking out indie vendors, local chefs, and great music
Website: bkbazaar.com
This 40,000-sq. ft. warehouse becomes an after-hours market and concert venue, with hundreds of artists, chefs, DJs, and musicians. You can find goods from local designers and restaurants, and events are headlined by some pretty sick artists.
Tour Brooklyn Brewery
Date: Saturdays and Sundays
Time: On the hour, from 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. on Saturdays; 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. on Sundays
Location: 79 North 11th St., Williamsburg
Perfect for: Educating yourself before you turn your bathroom into a makeshift brewery
Website: brooklynbrewery.com
Chances are, since the brewery opened in 1988, you've tasted some of their delicious beer in at least one of the 25 states it's distributed in. After a free tour of Brooklyn Brewery, you'll be able to pick up on flavor nuances you didn't even know existed. In no time, you'll be tasting beer like a judge for the World Brewer's Cup.
Trivia Night at the Gutter
Date: Every Monday night
Time: 7 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Location: 200 North 14th St., Williamsburg
Perfect for: A little athletic and intellectual domination
Website: thegutterbrooklyn.com
When the temperature drops in New York City, you're going to need some athletics to get your blood pumping. Why not break a mental and physical sweat at the same time? In addition to the glory of victory, the winning team gets a tab for beer and bowling. Win or lose, you get to see people drunkenly throw around 15 lb. bowling balls: that's comedy waiting to happen.
Watch the Chinatown Lunar New Year Festival and Parade
Date: Sunday, February 17
Time: 1 p.m.
Location: Starts in Little Italy, working through major streets of Lower Chinatown
Perfect for: Seeing some amazing, authentic cultural exhibitions
Website: betterchinatown.com
The annual Chinatown lunar parade is an ornate and authentic exhibition of culture, highlighted by elaborate floats, lion and dragon dances, acrobats, magicians, musicians, folk dancers and Shaolin-inspired kung fu demonstrations. The fact that it's free just happens to be the cherry on top.
Take a Dip With the Polar Bear Club
Date: Wednesday, January 1
Time: 1 p.m.
Location: Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island
Perfect for: Finding out how tough you really are
Website: polarbearclub.org
Do your friends call you a wuss? Do you want to earn a rep as the toughest guy in in your group? Go for a swim with the Coney Island Polar Bear Club to up your bad-ass quotient by a few points.
Bike in Time's Up Annual New Year's Eve Ride
Date: Tuesday, December 31
Time: 10:00 p.m.
Location: Washington Square Park
Perfect for: Getting a head start on your resolution to exercise more
Website: times-up.org
Organized by environmental action group "Time's Up!," the ride goes from Washington Square Park to Belvedere Castle in Central Park, culminating in a dance party with fireworks. Maybe if you make it through the entire bike ride, you might not cave on your resolution to exercise more after just two weeks.
Watching New Year's Eve Fireworks in Prospect Park
Date: Tuesday, December 31
Time: 11 p.m.
Location: Grand Army Plaza
Perfect for: Celebrating the new year with a bang
Website: prospectpark.org
If you're in the mood to try something different this New Year's Eve, head over to Prospect Park in Brooklyn for a fireworks display that'll make you forget all about the big ball drop. Entertainment and hot refreshments will be provided as well, so you won't be sitting outside with nothing to do but get colder and colder.
Watch the Ball Drop in Times Square
Date: Tuesday, December 31
Time: Midnight
Location: Broadway, between 42nd St. and 47th St.
Perfect for: Celebrate New Year's Eve in the most iconic way possible
Website: timessquarenyc.org
When you think of "New Year's Eve," three things come to mind: champagne, "Auld Lang Syne," and the ball dropping in Times Square. Yeah, it's cold and insanely crowded, but it's one of the most famous events in the world, the kind of thing you should do once in your life, especially if you're living here. Make sure you get there early, because it tends to fill up quickly; but it's not like there's a shortage of things to do in Times Square.
Check Out the Emerald Nuts Midnight Run
Date: Tuesday, December 31
Time: 11:59 p.m.
Location: 72nd Street Transverse near Cherry Hill
Perfect for: Betting your friends shots of alcohol on who wins the race
Website: nyrr.org
With a DJ kicking things off at 10 p.m. and a costume contest at 11, there's no shortage of things to do while you're waiting for the race to start. The actual race begins at midnight, with a fireworks display. If you're in good shape (and are sober enough) you can pay the entrance fee and try your hand at winning the $500 first place prize. On the other hand, you can just hang out and take in the late-night weird for free.
Let Loose at Make Music Winter
Date: Friday, December 21
Time: Various
Location: Depends on location
Perfect for: Showing off your shower-singing voice
Website: makemusicny.org
In the second Make Music Winter parade, there will be twelve different events to choose from, all leading through different regions of the city. If you're musically gifted, and you're looking for a way to show off a bit, give this a try. It's like caroling, but cooler.
Dress Up for SantaCon NYC
Date: Saturday, December 14
Time: 10 a.m.- 10 p.m.
Location: TBA
Perfect for: Not being judged for drunkenly wearing a Santa costume
Website: nycsantacon.com
Celebrate the holiday spirit with 20,000 other Santas, elves, or whatever other creative costumes people decided to wear (a Santa hat doesn't count, you Grinch) with festive, drunken shenanigans. It's more than just a bar crawl, though, because the event also doubles as a food and toy drive; it's highly suggested you bring at least two food items for the drive, so don't be a cheap-ass.
Attend Phil Kline's Unsilent Night
Date: Saturday, December 14
Time: 7 p.m.- 8 p.m.
Location: Washington Square Park
Perfect for: Being part of a huge holiday work of art
Website: unsilentnight.com
The 20-year-old tradition has become an international phenomenon, and has drawn crowds of 1,500 in New York City. Participants bring boomboxes, iPods, and laptops to play Kline's 45 minute composition, letting music ring out as they walk through city streets. If you're looking to be part of a work of art this holiday season, this is how.
Judge the Entries in the Gingerbread Extravaganza
Date: Daily until January 3
Time: All day
Location: Le Parker Meridien, 119 West 56th St.
Perfect for: Killing a little time before going out
Website: parkermeridien.com
If you have a little bit of time to spare before going out with your girl, City Harvest's Gingerbread Extravaganza is a great way to kill a half-hour. Unfortunately, they won't let you chow down on these creations, but if you feel so inclined, you can donate a dollar to vote on the winner, with the proceeds going to City Harvest. Oh, and it'll put you in a drawing for a five-night stay at the four-star Parker Palm Springs hotel. If you don't have an extra dollar, no worries: looks are free.
Browsing the Union Square Holiday Market
Date: Every day, until December 24
Time: Monday through Friday, 11 a.m. - 8 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.
Location: Union Square
Perfect for: Finding Christmas presents that don't suck
Website: urbanspacenyc.com
With over 150 merchants, the Union Square Holiday Market won't let you down. If you can't find the Christmas gift you're looking for here, you're not going to find it anywhere. In addition to handmade clothing and brew-your-own-beer kits, you can find international and exotic coffees. Check out the iPhone app to help you navigate the labyrinthine market.
Catch Comedy Night at the Knitting Factory
Date: Every Sunday
Time: 9 p.m.
Location: 361 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg
Perfect for: Getting out of the cold to catch a few laughs
Website: knittingfactory.com
A former writer for Saturday Night Live, and a current writer for 30 Rock, Hannibal Buress hosts stand-up event that has featured some of the most hilarious comedians on television, like Aziz Ansari and Jay Pharoah. Seeing those kinds of comedy all-stars for nothing is an absolute steal.
Touring the Chelsea Brewing Company
Date: Every Saturday
Time: On the hour, from 2 p.m.-6 p.m.
Location: Chelsea Piers, Pier 59
Perfect for: When you need a reason to start drinking in the afternoon
Website: chelseabrewingco.com
If you've ever dreamed of working at or starting your own brewery, it makes sense to get a behind-the-scenes look at Manhattan's largest microbrewery. After seeing how they produce their delicious products, you'll be tempted to grab a keg and run out the door. Just don't forget your ID, or else you'll miss out on free samples. That's why you came in the first place.
Go to the Staten Island Zoo
Date: Wednesdays
Time: 2 p.m. - 4:45 p.m
Location: 614 Broadway, Staten Island
Perfect for: Being the only person at the exhibits
Website: statenislandzoo.org
The re-opening of the Staten Island Zoo was a bright spot in an area still hurting from the effects of Hurricane Sandy. Consider a visit to help support the borough, and you may end up using some of that money you saved to make a charitable donation to help them rebuild.
Enter a Skeeball Tournament
Date: Tuesdays and Thursdays
Time: All night
Location: Full Circle Bar; 38 Grand St., Williamsburg
Perfect for: Indulging nostalgia for Chuck E. Cheese's
Website: fullcirclebar.com
In addition to free pretzels and hot dogs, Full Circle Bar offers use of their skeeball machines for free on certain nights (before you get any ideas about a Christmas gift, just know that skeeball machines cost about $4,000-$5,000 a pop). It's like killing two birds with one stone, because playing skeeball is technically exercising, right?
Take a Writing Class
Date: Various
Time: Various
Location: Various
Perfect for: Freeing your inner Hemingway
Website: writingclasses.com
Every aspiring writer has that image in their head of sitting in a darkened room with a glass of scotch, laboring over the next great American novel. The problem is, you have no fucking idea where to start. Well, the Gotham Writers' Workshop is here to help. Kickstart your writing career by signing up at their website for one of the several free, one-hour classes they offer.