Image via Complex Original
Last night, MTV and the producers of Catfish had the marvelous idea of doing a midseason reunion. If only I had been invited to the meeting that preceded this decision, I would’ve explained that this was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decision. But alas, it happened and despite the realization that Ren and Stimpy, along with Su-Chin Pak, were asking some of the very questions we heard a smooth two weeks ago, there are some lessons to be learned. About friendship, about thirst, about how a lie can lead to a better life and smaller weight class. Namaste or something.
Written by Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick)
Even Lying Family Is a Cure for Depression
The last time we saw Cassie and Gladys, Cassie looked as if she was ready to take it to Gladys’ jaw after she found out that her online boo thang “Steven” was really a combination of Gladys and her cousin. Last night, the two exchanged hugs and smiles, and it looked as if Cassie and Gladys had gotten as close to Oprah-and-Gayle status as a big betrayal could allow. In Cassie’s mind, while it's still messed up that Gladys and her kin cooked up an imaginary man, she understands that it helped her deal with her depression. Cassie explained, “For her to go out of her way just to like kinda save me, how could I let that friendship end, ya know? How could I let that friendship end?”
I mean, personally, I’d maybe unblock you on Twitter and Facebook and give you a “like” every now and again, but it’d take me a little longer before I allowed you to send me text messages. Different strokes.
Being Pressured Into Marriage Is No Fun
Lauren and Derek, the happy ones who had no business being on Catfish since their story didn’t really fit the premise, remain very, very happy with each other. Lauren has spent the summer with Derek and though both were smiling while discussing the other, one is a bit more elated.
Lauren referred to Derek as her fiancé, though they’re not engaged. Hmm. Lauren then mentioned marriage throughout the entire segment. Derek, like many men put in the awkward position of hearing their girlfriend publicly pressure them into a proposal, looked ultra freaked out after a while. So if they don’t work out by the next update, one guess as to why that is.
The Gays Are Cool
The last time we saw Framel (Marq) and Anthony, Anthony was cursing out Marq and threatening to go oops, upside his head in his own mama’s house. In their update, Anthony said that he’s evolved a bit in his dating choices, i.e. looking for a kind personality instead of just a pretty face. As for Framel, he’s lost a whole lot of weight and looks to be getting his entire life back on track now that he’s been on the TV. Unfortunately, he's taken to wearing colored contacts. What would Toni Morrison say?
Friends Can Help
On his episode, Mike was ready to drop his relationship with Kristyn at the first sign of a half-lie. His reaction was something like anger, rage, anger, rage, rage, anger. But in the update, Mike elaborated a bit more, saying that while he and Kristyn maintain a friendship, initially he couldn't help but associate Kristyn’s voice with the original pictures she sent. He also noted that he wished he had discussed the situation with his friends, as it might’ve spared him from hurt feelings.
As for Kristyn, she repeated the rationale behind her using fake pictures to create an online relationship with Mike, but noted that she no longer feels the need to do so becuase she's working on losing the weight she gained from her car accident. She even has a man now, though she did say she kept the nude shots Mike sent her. Gold star for you for that real spit, Kristyn.
Some Stories Don’t Need Updating
The thing about reality TV show reunions is that they only work for certain kind of shows. Specifically, the ones that combine dynamic characters with various plotlines. That said, this doesn’t always work when your characters are socially awkward people in need of friends. No shade, but there’s only so much you’re going to get from people who go on TV to find out if they were lied to. Such was the case for Jen, who really didn’t have much of an update about her story with Brian, aka Skylar the Sociopath. It was interesting to watch him almost get jumped by Max and Nev after he told Jen that he only used her to step his game up and had no remorse about deceiving her, but not so much in the aftermath. He didn’t show up, obviously, and all she did was talk about her dog while explaining why she turned to the Internet for companionship—something she had already revealed.
Likewise, Loyda and Ramon could have remained in the past. Their story proved to be sketchy even by Catfish standards and their update was much ado about nothing. Ramon claimed he doesn’t want to bother speaking to someone “like that” online ever again. More lies you tell, sir. More lies you tell.
Both of these segments proved mighty short, which is probably why we learned “fascinating” things about Max and Nev, including fun facts about the hotels they stay in during filming. Riveting.