The Five Sickest Scenes From "Game Of Thrones"

Now that the first season of HBO’s Game Of Thrones has ended, we can say with the utmost confidence that it’s the best new show of 2011, far superior to AMC’s frustrating The Killing. Whereas The Killing started off strong but then dissipated into a series of useless red herrings and unnecessary plot turns (Who cares about Linden’s bratty kid, anyway?!), Game Of Thrones gained power and respectability with each episode, presenting the intricate world of fantasy author George R.R. Martin’s A Song Of Ice And Fire book series with spot-on acting, striking production designs, and a shocking “Anything goes” attitude.

Even though last night’s season finale was more of a cock-tease for next year’s run than a satisfying conclusion, we’re still ready to sing the show’s praises to anyone who’s been hesitant to catch up, due to a lack of interest in sword-and-sorcery fiction or an unwillingness to devote time and brainpower to a multilayered story. And what’s the best way to entice such simple-minded people? By skipping a long-winded dissection of Martin’s rich storytelling and simply counting down the Five Sickest Scenes From Game Of Thrones, the moments in which the show went for broke with ferocious brutality.

If this doesn’t work, and you’re still leery of joining the Thrones fan club after peeping these clips, we should mention that there are tons of hot, naked chicks, and even a few scenes of steamy girl-on-girl fondling. Blame the NSFW code of conduct for us not spotlighting those scenes here.

George R.R. Martin's World Is No Place For A Horse

5. George R.R. Martin’s world is no place for a horse.

As fans learned by season’s end, no one is safe on Game Of Thrones. Little kids are vulnerable to attacks, adult men can smack teenage girls in the face, and major characters can die brutally. But perhaps the least fortunate species is the equus feras caballlus, which is how Martin’s characters would most likely refer to horses, since their speech is much more dignified than ours.

If horses were just used as transportation, Mr. Ed’s ancestors wouldn’t have it all that bad in Westeros, but no—Martin has a thing for slaughtering the harmless mammals, typically when the audience least expects it. This knack for killing off the show’s equestrian-minded co-stars really hit home in episode five, “The Wolf And The Lion”; in it, a particularly graphic jousting match culminates in one pissed-off combatant decapitating his horse just for the fuck of it.

Khal Drogo's Fatality Move

4. Behold Khal Drogo’s Mortal Kombat-like fatality move.

Who knew that barbarians could be so chivalrous? While other characters on Game Of Thrones are busy sleeping with prostitutes and treating them like soulless playthings, badass Dothraki leader Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) learned to treat his lady, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), with respect. Initially, Drogo used her as a sexual object, but, after Daenerys gained some courage and took charge, he viewed her in a whole new, affectionate light. Cue the violins.

So when one of Drogo’s minions disrespects his “sun and stars” (the Dothraki slang equivalent to “my boo”), dude doesn’t let it slide. And when said minion then directly scoffs at Drogo’s commands, it’s lights out for your boy. In this case, it’s Mago, an otherwise anonymous Dothraki soldier who foolishly challenges Drogo and, subsequently, has his throat ripped open and his tongue pulled out. All that’s missing from the scene is a concluding voiceover that says, “Drogo wins…Flawless victory.”

Viserys Targaryen's Golden Crown

3. Viserys Targaryen finally gets his crown.

Speaking of Khal Drogo and Daenerys, one of the show’s biggest “Oh, shit!” moments involved her weasel of a brother, Viserys (Harry Lloyd), who arranged for Daenerys’ marriage to the Dothraki warrior so he could have protection once he invaded Westeros to claim the throne. Easily the show’s most insufferable character (slowly edging out that little prick King Joffrey, but not by much), Viserys spent all of his screen time jabbering on about himself, verbally abusing Daenerys, and generally acting like a fantastical douchebag.

Midway through the season Drogo couldn’t take Viserys’ obnoxiousness anymore, which lead to the insane “Golden Crown” sequence that ended episode six, titled, fittingly, “A Golden Crown.” For laymen not schooled in George R.R. Martin’s mythology, a “golden crown” is the clever label given to a corpse whose head has just been covered with scorching molten gold. And it couldn’t have happened to a bigger asshole. We owe you one, Drogo.

Ned Stark Fights Jaime Lannister

2. The beginning of the end for Ned Stark.

There’s no such thing as a typical swordfight in Game Of Thrones. Take the above battle scene, which brought episode seven, “You Win Or You Die,” to a close and spelled doom for the show’s hero, Ned Stark (Sean Bean). Prior to Stark’s showdown against the villainous Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), Ned uncovers the truth about Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson), the king’s heir: Joffrey is the illegitimate love child of brother/sister pair Jaime and Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). He’s also a royal pain in viewers’ asses, but that’s beside the point.

After he’s deceived by his pals in the City Watch, Ned and his men are ambushed by Jaime and his goons, a scuffle that leads to Ned’s right-hand men taking a sword through his left eye at point-blank range. To make matters worse, Lannister stares at Stark with the mean ice grill as his sword remains fastened into dude’s skull like a key in a lock. The look on Ned’s face says, “I’m so fucked.” And, little did the audience know, he so was.

Ned Stark Dies

1. The official end for Ned Stark.

Each of the previous scenes on this list earns sick status for hardcore visuals; this one, however, leaves the carnage to the mind’s eye, withholding its bloody imagery. And, really, that’s the smartest move, because the end of episode nine, “Baelor,” is one of television’s all-time great surprises without any gore.

Beware of spoilers, those who’ve yet to hop on the Game Of Thrones bandwagon. Following the duel with Jaime Lannister (seen in the previous slide here), Ned Stark is sent to prison on counts of treason. With his king pal dead, Stark has to answer to the new ruler, that fucker Joffrey, who does everything in his power to punish Ned’s reluctance to accept his newfound position.

Which leads to a public beheading in front of Ned’s two young daughters, as well as an unsuspecting audience that expected Sean Bean, the show’s biggest name, to survive long into the series. By killing Bean’s character in such a sudden and ruthless manner, Game Of Thrones’ producers set the precedents of unpredictability and sheer fearlessness. So it’s only a matter of time before the teenaged Joffrey gets his head lopped off, too…right? We can only hope.