The 25 Best One-Liners in Action Movies

Earlier this week, Complex unveiled its definitive countdown of The 50 Best Action Stars In Movie History, and, next Tuesday, we’re going to debut our revamped list of The 50 Best Action Movies Of All Time. Clearly, your Pop Culture team is on a run-and-gun, stunt-tastic high this month, thanks to the release of writer-director Gareth Evans’ adrenaline rush The Raid: Redemption, a film festival champion that many critics are already hailing as an action cinema classic. And, on top of the independently made The Raid: Redemption, Hollywood is giving the genre’s biggest fans some additional options: the overly expensive Disney flop John Carter, and next weekend’s CGI-cluttered sequel Wrath Of The Titans.

But you know what all three of these movies—yes, even The Raid: Redemption—are missing? The action genre’s greatest secret weapon: those snarky, hilarious (whether intentionally so or not), and succinctly timed one-liners. Just think back to the best flicks from tough guys like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, and Bruce Willis, and fondly remember how well they capped off grandiose moments of action with a few words. And we’re not talking about lines like The Terminator’s “I’ll be back,” which isn’t so much a one-liner as it is a more straightforward, memorable quote.

To fill the void collectively left by The Raid: Redemption, John Carter, and Wrath Of The Titans, we’ve assembled a collection of The 25 Best One-Liners In Action Movies. Or, one could say, we’ve “lined them up.” Get it? Yeah, we’ll stick to our day jobs.

RELATED: The 50 Best Action Movies of All Time

Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)

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Escape From L.A.

25. “I’ll take my coat back now, asshole.”

Courtesy of: Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) in Escape From L.A. (1996)

Did the world really need a sequel to John Carpenter’s 1981 action movie masterwork Escape From New York. That’s a negative, especially when you realize that Carpenter’s decision to once again have Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) own the screen resulted in the ridiculous, at times cheesy dumb-fun flick Escape From L.A.. Inferior to New York in every way, the 1996 follow-up does have some redeemable qualities, one of which comes when Plissken stumbles across a dead thug who’s wearing his precious leather jacket, prompting the appropriately disrespectful barb, “I’ll take my coat back, asshole.”

The Last Action Hero

24. “Hey, you wanna be a farmer? Here’s a couple of achers!”

Courtesy of: Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in The Last Action Hero (1993)

This one came dangerously close to missing the cut here, simply because it is, admittedly, incredibly cheesy. Had anyone other than Arnold Schwarzenegger voiced it, the funniest line from The Last Action Hero would’ve been a shoe-in for a list of the worst action movie one-liners, but, fortunately, that’s not the case.

Rather than just kick a guy in the scrotum and call it a painful day for the other man, Schwarzenegger’s character, Jack Slater, prefaces his shoe-to-the-balls move with, “Hey, you wanna be a farmer?” Without giving the unlucky bastard a chance to respond, Slater concludes, “Here’s a couple of achers!” Get it? Acres! To keep the barnyard humor going, thanks to Arnie, that otherwise booty quip avoided the misfortune of filling ears with cow dung.

Foxy Brown

23. “And I’ve got my black belt in barstools!”

Courtesy of: Foxy Brown (Pam Grier) in Foxy Brown (1974)

There’s only one way you can make a girl-on-girl drinking hole brawl featuring ’70s-era Pam Grier any better than it inherently is: Have Grier sass her opponent with a terrifically goofy one-liner.

Coming to a defenseless prostitute’s defense in a shady bar, as a butch-looking blonde chick sleazily gropes the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold, Foxy Brown (Grier, of course) steps up to the Brigitte Nielsen lookalike; not backing down, the problem-starter says to Foxy, “Before you start talkin’ tough, I gotta warn ya: I got a black belt in karate. So why don’t ya get out of here quietly, while you still have some teeth left in that ugly face?”

Without hesitation, Foxy grabs the nearest wooden seat and breaks it over the lady’s head, leading into the perfect comeback: “And I’ve got my black belt in barstools!” Although, she’s being too modest—seconds later, Foxy is wiping out a large group’s of equally butch chicks with only her bare hands and moves that’d make Michelle Yeoh proud. And, in our dreams, horny.

Machete

22. “Machete don’t text.”

Courtesy of: Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) in Machete (2010)

In the over-the-top exploitation tribute Machete, Danny Trejo doesn’t disappoint, handling his first-ever leading role with all the charisma, grittiness, and down-for-whatever spirit that’s made him one of the movie world’s coolest characters actors. Unexpectedly, though, the film’s most talked-about scene wasn’t one of its extremely gory moments, like when Machete uses a guy’s intestines as rope to dangle from one floor of a building to the level beneath it.

No, Machete’s standout sequence is all dialogue, when love interest Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) yells at him for not updating her on his whereabouts. “You could have at least texted me,” she says, to which Trejo responds, in a pitch-perfect, blunt manner, “Machete don’t text.” Heaven forbid she asked Machete why he didn’t direct message her on Twitter.

Shaft

21. “Don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble.”

Courtesy of: John Shaft (Richard Roundtree) in Shaft (1971)

We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but, screw it, we’ll do it, anyway: If you didn’t already know, John Shaft (Richard Roundtree) is one bad mother… OK, we’ll shut our proverbial mouth. Thankfully, though, Shaft himself wasn’t one to bite his tongue in the classic 1971 action-drama, and Harlem’s best private detective even finds time to work an anatomy lesson into his finest piece of shit-talking: “Don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble.” See, even the film’s hero wants you to zip the lip, not just Isaac Hayes. How meta.

Thunderball

20. “I think he got the point.”

Courtesy of: James Bond (Sean Connery) in Thunderball (1965)

What would a memorable James Bond one-liner be without a beautiful lady somewhere in the secret agent's vicinity? Serious 007 sacrilege, that's what. So it's only right that in 1965's superb Thunderball, Bond (played the almighty Sean Connery) gets to drop his witty snap alongside Domino (Claudine Auger), a sexy brunette who's dripping wet and sporting a two-piece bikini. The devil is in the details, after all.

In the middle of their picnic on the beach, Bond and Domino get interrupted by a goon armed with pistol, though his hand-shooter is no match for Bond's big spear gun. Once a spear is dislodged and pins the goon to a tree, through his chest, everyone's favorite agent quips, “I think he got the point.” It's a good thing that Domino is already wet.

Black Dynamite

19. “Donuts don’t wear alligator shoes.”

Courtesy of: Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) in Black Dynamite (2009)

Shame on anyone who’s still sleeping on Michael Jai White’s genius 2009 blaxploitation spoof Black Dynamite, a wink-wink comedy that nails every sight gag, tongue-in-cheek one-liner, and the grainy visual aesthetic that Quentin Tarantino himself couldn’t even totally pull off in his own throwback flick, Death Proof. Picking just one bit of Black Dynamite dialogue for this list wasn’t easy, but it’s tough to argue against the line, “Donuts don’t wear alligator shoes,” said after Dyn-O-Mite shoots down a baddie wearing, that’s right, a huge donut costume. The magic, much like every other line in the film, is in White’s deadpan delivery.

Stone Cold

18. “Imagine the future, Chains, ’cause you’re not in it.”

Courtesy of: Joe Huff (Brian Bosworth) in Stone Cold (1991)

Considering that is stars a professional football star with no previous acting experience, 1991’s Stone Cold is a much better film than one might expect. A portion of the credit goes to the flick’s bone-crunching, genuinely visceral fight sequences, but a large part of the credit must be awarded to pigskin-to-the-big-screen leading man Brian “The Boz” Bosworth. Aside from whooping enormous amounts of derriere, The Boz completely sells every one of Stone Cold’s hokey lines, particularly, “Imagine the future, Chains, ’cause you’re not in it.” Which sounds a lot like something John Elway could’ve said to Tim Tebow in mid-March of this year.

Action Jackson

17. “How do you like ya ribs?”

Courtesy of: Sergeant Jericho “Action” Jackson (Carl Weathers) in Action Jackson (1988)

It’s rather absurd to think that Carl Weathers didn’t become a ubiquitous action movie star after 1988’s Action Jackson, a lively testosterone-laden affair that’s bulked up by Weathers’ chiseled, come-and-get-me physique and loaded with eye candy thanks to the timeless beauty of Vanity (where you at, girl?). Amongst the film’s many show-stopping moments, Action Jackson evades foes by driving a red sportscar through a hotel’s narrow hallways, a scene that’s totally implausible and fantastically enjoyable.

As for Weathers’ ability to sell the standard action film quotable, a prerequisite for anyone who fancies his or herself as a marquee ass-kicker, look no further than the glorious scene in which Mr. Action incinerates a bad guy with a bazooka after inquiring, “How do you like ya ribs?” Fire-grilled, perhaps?

The Last Boy Scout

16. “After fucking your wife, I’ll take two.”

Courtesy of: Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) in The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Very few Hollywood actors can nail an insulting one-liner quite like Bruce Willis, who filmography is worth of its own similarly themed list. In The Last Boy Scout, his buddy action comedy co-starring Damon Wayans, Willis injects a healthy dose of emasculation into his best quote, which is only served justice when presented in its full glory:

Random Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe Hallenbeck (Willis): That’s what you think. Last night, I fucked your wife.
Thug: Oh, you did, huh? How’d you know it was my wife?
Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp-lookin’ motherfucker with a hat.
Thug: Oh, you’re real cool for somebody who’s about to take a bullet.
Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife, I’ll take two.

Not even Damon “Homey the Clown” Wayans could out-funny Willis in The Last Boy Scout.

The Running Man

15. “What a pain in the neck.”

Courtesy of: Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in The Running Man (1987)

For making him wear shiny, suspect-looking yellow tights throughout the movie, the least that the makers of 1987’s The Running Man could do for star Arnold Schwarzenegger was bless him with a brilliantly silly one-liner. Frankly, he deserved more, but, at this point, that’s neither here nor there.

Besides, they also let him kill a man by strangling the guy with barbed wire, which led to The Running Man’s obvious yet still clever send-off, “What a pain in the neck.” Can’t be mad at that two-for-one deal.

Hard To Kill

14. “I’m gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent—to the blood bank!”

Courtesy of: Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) in Hard To Kill (1990)

Imagine how infuriated you’d be if you woke up from a seven-year coma to find out that both your wife and son were killed at the same time you went into the deep sleep. And, to make matters worse, the local corrupt senator had something to do with it.

That being the situation Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) has to grapple with in Hard To Kill, it’s perfectly understandable that he’d see want to raise hell after seeing the politician on TV, in one of his pro-me commercials that ends with the line of reassurance, “And you can take that to the bank!”

We’d prefer to see Sir Storm fire off his “to the blood bank” comeback to Senator Trent’s face, followed by a signature Seagal roundhouse kick to the face, but we’ll have to make do with an inanimate television screen.

Dark Angel

13. “But you go in pieces, asshole!”

Courtesy of: Jack Caine (Dolph Lundgren) in Dark Angel (a.k.a I Come In Peace, 1989)

Just when you thought the science fiction genre had exhausted every possible incarnation of space invaders, along came Dark Angel (better known as I Come In Peace).

Starring Dolph Lundgren, packing his post-Rocky IV momentum in 1989 with this and The Punisher, the flick is your average hero-with-a-gun-saves-the-day flick, only this time, the deadly serious protagonist goes up against alien drug dealers collectively known as “White boys.”

When it comes time to dispatch the intergalactic pushers’ boss, Lundgren hears the desperate plea of, “I come in peace!” And he responds in, really, the only possible way: “But you go in pieces, asshole.” Cue the supercharged machine gun that blows the villain into smithereens.

Missing In Action 3

12. “I don’t step on toes… I step on necks.”

Courtesy of: Colonel James Braddock (Chuck Norris) in Braddock: Missing In Action 3 (1988)

If you ever find yourself bored on a particularly slow day, spend some time on Chuck Norris Facts, the website that 891 (!) pages’ worth of reminders about how badass Walker, Texas Ranger truly is, in case one ever forgets. For example, did you know that “they were going to put Chuck Norris’ face on Mount Rushmore but the rock wasn’t hard enough”? Fascinating, right?

One thing that makes Norris’ best line in the 1988 shoot-’em-up sequel Missing In Action 3 so great is how easily it’d fit within the man’s “factual” site. Just reword it as, “Chuck Norris doesn’t step on toes—he steps on necks.” It’s slick enough to warrant Page 892.

The World Is Not Enough

11. “I never miss.”

Courtesy of: James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) in The World Is Not Enough (1999)

It takes a man of supreme fortitude to silence the sexy-as-fuck Sophie Marceau, especially in the way that Pierce Brosnan, as the infamous James “007” Bond, does in The World Is Not Enough. In her final moments, Marceau, playing the villainous Elektra King, sends Bond on a foot chase through a mansion and straight into a bedroom, stopping his pursuit mere inches away from a lavishly decorated mattress.

With those come-hither eyes of hers, Marceau says, in a steamy whisper, “You wouldn’t kill me… You’d miss me.” In such a moment, we’d no doubt drop the handgun, tackle her onto the bed, and risk the world’s safety in the name of a quickie. Bond, however, is made of much harder stuff, ignoring her come-on and popping a bullet into her face, then replying, “I never miss.” And we’d never fit the bill in 007’s tailored suits, clearly.

Lethal Weapon 2

10.. “They’ve been de-kaffir-nated!”

Courtesy of: Sergeant Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) in Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

Opening the adventures of Murtaugh (Danny Glover) and Riggs (Mel Gibson) to a more global scope, the 1989 action sequel Lethal Weapon 2 features a subplot involving members of the South African Consulate who’ve run afoul of the law. So when Murtaugh, who has the liberty of saying such a racial slur of a pun for obvious reasons, watches a few of the corrupt folks meet their maker, he caps the scene off with the shamelessly corny, and wonderfully un-PC, “They’ve been de-kaffir-nated!” “Kaffir,” by the way, being South Africa’s equivalent to the N-word.

Sudden Impact

9. “Go ahead, make my day.”

Courtesy of: Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in Sudden Impact (1983)

After the classic “Do you feel lucky, punk?” line from 1971’s Dirty Harry, it was only right that Clint Eastwood drop at least one quotable in the 1983 sequel, Sudden Impact. Reprising his role as copper Harry Callahan, the much older-looking, but still imposing, Eastwood steps into a diner for some coffee, exits, back in to complain about the excessive amount of sugar in his cup-o’-Joe, and stumbles upon some stick-up kids holding up the joint.

Naturally, Dirty Harry informs the dirtbags that “we” aren’t going to let them out of the place—“we” meaning Harry, Smith, and Wesson. Then, he unloads shells into all but one crook, who grabs a female hostage and gunpoint. Harry, though, ever the scene-stealers, taunts the scoundrel with the simple yet effective, “Go ahead, make my day.” Wisely, dude opts to make the days of Harry’s backup, arresting officers.

Passenger 57

8. ”Always bet on black.”

Courtesy of: John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) in Passenger 57 (1992)

As much as it pains us to do, we must deduct some points away from Passenger 57’s inclusion here because it’s said over a phone, not face-to-face; though, we’re certain that John Cutter (Wesley Snipes, back when he could do no wrong) would’ve issued his four-word smackdown in person just as effortlessly. Furthermore, he probably would have snuffed the guy after the last word.

This one’s especially unforgettable for all you gamblers out there. Talking over the horn to the terrorist leader responsible for hijacking his aircraft, Cutter snaps, “You ever play Roulette?” The reply: “On occasion.” Followed up by, “Well, let me give you a word of advice: Always bet on black.” Dial tone. Totally owned.

Cobra

7. “You’re a disease… And I’m the cure.”

Courtesy of: Marion “Cobra” Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) in Cobra (1986)

Sometimes, the best movie one-liners are the simplest, ones that any snarky first-grader could write if given the assignment. In Cobra, the excellent Sylvester Stallone action flick that gets lost in the Rocky Balboa/John Rambo shuffle, his character gets right to the point, calling one of his enemies “a disease,” which, as any grammar school student should know, requires a “cure.” And who better to remedy the flesh-and-blood disease than your boy Sly?

Man On Fire

6. “Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.”

Courtesy of: John Creasy (Denzel Washington) in Man On Fire (2004)

The majority of Denzel Washington fans love the guy for movies such as Malcolm X, The Hurricane, and Training Day—his more awards-friendly cinematic offerings. But, while those films are all magnificent, we’re often times more partial to the Tony Scott-directed Man On Fire, in which Washington kills it as a no-nonsense, depressed former CIA op tasked with protecting a nine-year-old girl (Dakota Fanning) from a Mexican drug cartel.

Washington’s meditative, deep-thinking character, John Creasy, speaks in the kind of lofty, eloquently worded dialogue that could only be heard in a movie written by a talented screenwriter. So, instead of saying, “I’m going to kill those despicable fuckers,” he phrases such a damning statement in the much more profound, “Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.”

The only way the monologue could sound any tougher would be if Creasy followed that up with, “And once my gun finishes its sermon, I’m going to leave them holier than thou.” We’re available for script rewrites, Hollywood.

They Live

5. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I’m all out of bubblegum.”

Courtesy of: John Nada (“Rowdy” Roddy Piper) in They Live (1988)

Yes, that’s the WWF’s very own “Rowdy” Roddy Piper you see above, holding a shotgun, wearing stunner shades, and looking like the coolest redneck imaginable. In a stroke casting brilliance, genre master John Carpenter cast the snarky, wisecracking professional wrestler as the everyman hero in They Live, a campy sci-fi gem about an alien invasion in which the Martians hide out on Earth by wearing human body costumes.

Those sunglasses on Roddy’s head? They’re used to see who’s one of us and who’s from another planet. The aliens, as Piper states in another wonderfully rewind-worthy scene, “look like [their] face fell in cheese dip back in 1957.” Don’t ask.

The film’s best line, though, comes when Piper goes on an E.T.-hunting mission and enters a crowded bank; seeing that the money pit is loaded with space-men and women, he offers up one of the greatest warnings you’ll ever hear: “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I’m all out of bubblegum.” Whoever came up with that dialogue deserves a star on Hollywood Boulevard.

Dirty Harry

4. “Do you feel lucky, punk?”

Courtesy of: Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in Dirty Harry (1971)

No matter the year, Clint Eastwood could read bland instructions right out of a humorless cookbook and it’d still sound exceptionally hard-body. And, back in his 1970s tough guy prime, the manliest Academy Award darling of all time made his one-liners count.

In the gritty, violent cop flick Dirty Harry, Eastwood, as the iconic lawman Harry Callahan, delivered arguably the most simultaneously intimidating and insulting line of dialogue in cinema history. To a criminal who’s on the ground, after Eastwood’s six-round gun has eliminated other bad guys, the titular badass taunts the deviant by saying he’s not sure if he’s fired all six bullets or only five.

With the barrel pointed directly at the poor bastard, Eastwood says, “You have to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” And what happens when he pulls the trigger? Nothing. Yes, it’s the original, and ultimate, vision of someone getting punked.

Predator

3. “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

Courtesy of: Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in Predator (1987)

What, you thought Arnold Schwarzenegger would be afraid of a chiseled, dreadlock-rocking alien that cloaks itself in invisibility? Fuck out of here with that Nancy-boy mess.

In director John McTiernan’s macho, hardcore sci-fi classic Predator, Schwarzenegger, as fearless leader Dutch, is able to (momentarily) calm his shell-shocked men down with the matter-of-fact assessment, “If it bleeds, we can kill it.” And since the Predator does in fact emit the red liquid, Dutch isn’t about to back down to no otherworldly Rastafarian killing machine.

Total Recall

2. “Consider that a divorce!”

Courtesy of: Douglas Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in Total Recall (1990)

It’s the line that all unhappily married men wish they could say, yet can’t do so thanks to a little something called prison, not to mention the death penalty. But in director Paul Verhoeven’s endlessly entertaining sci-fi/action romp Total Recall, the always reliable catchphrase machine Arnold Schwarzenegger gets to speak for millions of discontent husbands worldwide when he says, after shooting his traitorous wife (played by Sharon Stone) in the head, “Consider that a divorce,” following her desperate reminder of, “Be reasonable—after all, we’re married.” That’s certainly much quicker than hiring a lawyer and meeting a judge.

Die Hard

1. “Yippee ki yay, motherfucker!”

Courtesy of: John McClane (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard (1988)

Unlike the rest of the one-liners on this countdown, John McClane’s (Bruce Willis) immortal catchphrase, “Yippee ki yay, motherfucker,” has the distinction of being uttered in every movie of its respective franchise, the Die Hard series of action flicks. Of course, it all began in 1988, when director John McTiernan’s bloody, witty, and intelligent Die Hard showed the ticket-buying community just how badass Mr. Bruce Willis can be, and what better way to solidify one’s unfuckwitable status than with four undying words?

And we all have Alan Rickman to thank. Playing the first movie’s head antagonist, terrorist leader Hans Gruber, Rickman serves the alley-oop to Willis by saying, “Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?” Whether any real-life cowboy’s actually used “yippee ki yay” a lot in conversation is up for debate, similar to how surfers probably don’t say “Cowabunga” with the frequency of “the” and “like.” But who cares—Bruce Willis made that piece of western slang a thing of resilient beauty.