Image via Complex Original
Since we here at Complex are all about keeping our readers informed on the latest happenings in all pop culture arenas, far be it from us to hold out on you when it comes to news about Justin Bieber's love life. Since you desperately want to know, the teen pop star recently made headlines for renting out the entire Staples Center to enjoy a private screening of Titanic with his boo, Selena Gomez. (What have you done for your girl lately?) Apparently he got a surge of inspiration after watching Mr. Deeds, in which the title character (Adam Sandler) pulls a similar stunt for his shady love interest (Winona Ryder) at Madison Square Garden.
While Deeds and Bieber's over-the-top Hollywood dates might have set the bar high for the rest of us, they also got us thinking about whether such grand gestures would actually seem as "grand" were they not conceived with moviegoers (and TMZ) in mind, or if they'd just seem ridiculous (and maybe a little creepy). Before you go seducing your love interest with a crew of flash mob dancers or placing an engagement ring in some unfortunate chick's shrimp, consult our list of 10 Romantic Gestures From Movies You Should Never Try In Real Life.
10. Stalking A Woman Online And Then Showcasing Your Research On A Date
As Seen In: Hitch (2005)
The Perp: Alex Hitchens (Will Smith)
There are certain moves in life that one should never attempt unless, you're Will Smith. Don’t get us wrong, we don’t doubt your abilities with the fairer sex, but we do seriously question whether a girl would respond favorably to a stranger acquainting himself with her entire family history before a first date.
That’s exactly what love consultant Alex Hitchens does prior to his outing with Sara Melas (Eva Mendes), a woman with whom he had no longer than a two-minute exchange at a bar. Sure, Mendes is hot enough to make any guy temporarily insane, but just consider how you’d react if a date arranged a trip for two to Ellis Island, where they attempted to woo you with an introduction to dead relatives that passed through?
We applaud the effort, but consider the amount of Internet stalking that would likely go into that. Suddenly, a restraining order doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
9. Blasting Sentimental Music Beneath an Ex's Window
As Seen In: Say Anything (1989)
The Perp: Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack)
Who could forget the iconic boombox scene from Cameron Crowe’s classic 1989 rom-com Say Anything? The image of John Cusack holding the stereo above his head has topped lists the world over as one of the most romantic gestures in film. And now it’s topping ours as one of the creepiest.
Diane Court’s (Ione Skye) breakup with Dobler is brought on by her parents; our exes, more often than not, are exes for good reason. Blasting a boombox beneath your beloved’s apartment like a desperate Radio Raheem isn’t the key to winning them back, particularly if you’re playing Peter Gabriel. It’s not only likely that you’ll weird them out, but you’ll probably piss off their entire building. Don’t even think about attempting this if you live in New York City.
8. Public Serenades
As Seen In: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
The Perp: Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger)
Before the late Heath Ledger came to be known as one of the most talented actors of our time, he took a backseat to Larisa Oleynik (better known as Alex Mack) and Julia Stiles as “that new guy” in the ‘90s teen flick 10 Things I Hate About You.
Well, maybe not for long. In one memorable scene, his character hijacks a microphone and launches into a wasted (well, seemingly wasted, judging from his dancing after the 39-second mark) rendition of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” in front of a stadium filled soccer players. It’s crazy to think that this was the movie that put Ledger on the map.
It’s even crazier to think that you’ll land a date by vocally assaulting a chick in front of the entire school. And that’s if you can sing. For those that don’t have Heath’s pipes, we’d advise you to confine those outbursts to a private room inside your local karaoke bar.
7. Taking A Woman On A Bus-Riding Date
As Seen In: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002)
The Perp: Matt Sullivan (Josh Hartnett)
If some form of public transit qualifies as your “special place,” it’s probably best not to share that information with a female prospect—she might think you’re a hobo. In the 2002 rom-com 40 Days And 40 Nights, about a dude who opts to give up booty for Lent, poor Matt Sullivan has the bad luck of meeting Erica Sutton (the sexy Shannyn Sossamon) shortly after.
In attempts to stick to his vow of abstinence, Sullivan plans to take Sutton on a “safe date” to his special place, where he knows he won’t be tempted to move in for the kill: the city bus. Matt’s date is content to ride around with him, and the two end up having a great time. Yet we can assure you that your night, too, will end without sex if an aimless ride on the M24 is your idea of a hot date.
6. Wooing Attempts That Involve Scaling Someone's Fire Escape
As Seen In: Pretty Woman (1990)
The Perp: Edward Lewis (Richard Gere)
In a modern play on hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Vivian Ward’s (Julia Roberts) childhood dream of being rescued by a knight on his white steed, Pretty Woman’s grand finale features businessman Edward Lewis pulling up in a white limo and racing (or, inching) up his damsel’s fire escape to declare his love.
No offense to Richard Gere’s character, but is it really a good look to roll up to a woman’s place in a white limo when your intended destination isn’t a prom? Or anywhere at all? Seems like that would just come off douchey. Another thing to note: Proclamations such as these rarely happen sober. The last thing a girl needs is some drunk dude trying to make his way up her fire escape. One false move and that all that romance could turn tragic in seconds. In other words, be smart. Use the stairs.
5. Sketching Nude Portraits
As Seen In: Titanic (1997)
The Perp: Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio)
Even if you are a professional artist like Jack Dawson, it’s best to leave the nude sketches to people (preferably females) who aren’t dating your girlfriend—because there’s no winning there. Rather than facing the inevitable screams of, “So that's what you think I look like” and wasting hours coaxing your girl out of a locked bathroom, don’t go there in the first place. No matter how romantic James Cameron makes it seem.
4. Creepily Filming The Object Of Your Affection
As Seen In: American Beauty (1999)
The Perp: Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley)
While Lester Burnham’s (Kevin Spacey) insecure daughter, Jane (Thora Birch), seemed to be charmed by the idea that her sketchy neighbor (Bentley) found her fascinating enough to film, we’d urge against whipping out your camera to start shooting secret footage of that cutie across the street. She won’t find it attractive. In fact, she’ll probably call the police.
3. PDA (Public Demands Of Affection)
As Seen In: Never Been Kissed (1999)
The Perp: Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore)
Men aren’t the only ones guilty of grand gestures in movies that would never translate well to real-life dating. In the 1999 chick flick Never Been Kissed, reporter Josie “Grossy” Geller takes bad romance to new heights by professing her love in the Chicago Sun Times to a teacher she deceived (by posing as a student).
But wait, there’s more. Following her big reveal, she pressures him to meet her on the school’s baseball field to demonstrate his acceptance of her apology by giving her her first-ever smooch in front of countless fans. PDA is one thing, but this just seems all kinds of wrong.
If we were in this dude’s shoes, we could probably get over the fake student thing, but a stunt like this would require years of groveling. Not to mention that a 25-year-old who's never kissed anyone most likely isn't someone you'd be thrilled about pecking in public.
2. Risking Death For A Date
As Seen In: The Notebook (2004)
The Perp: Noah (Ryan Gosling)
We know it sometimes seems like our boy Ryan Gosling can do no wrong. Only so many men can smash skulls and pull off one-liners like, “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird,” without making audiences vomit in their mouths a little. But we aren’t sure we can say the same for his character in the 2004 date-movie-classic The Notebook.
Before Noah’s lifelong courtship with Allie (Rachel McAdams) begins, he’s just another broke dude pulling out all the stops to try and win over a well-to-do woman. Rather than wooing her the old fashioned way with notes and love tokens, however, Noah, in an act of unprecedented cockblockery, hops right into a Ferris wheel seat with Allie and her date (he's practically on the guy's lap) before dangling himself from above until she agrees to go out with him. Need we say more?
1. Declaring Your Love For Your Best Friend's Wife, Via Cue Cards
As Seen In: Love Actually (2003)
The Perp: Mark (Andrew Lincoln)
We’ve got to hand it to the guy. Mark’s profession of love to his best friend’s wife might defy all definitions of the "man code," but it’s been a while since we’ve seen such an average-looking dude make women swoon on such a universal level.
Allow us to explain. Empowered by the Christmas spirit, Mark decides to get his feelings for his friend’s lady (Kiera Knightley) off his chest, even though he knows it won’t go anywhere. With a series of sweet-nothings scrawled across pieces of posterboard, he shows up at their door and silently presents his thoughts to her as her husband watches the tube.
Before you go do the same, however, you might want to consider how difficult this would be to pull off in real life. What if the CD with the carolers started skipping? And one might assume that, sooner or later, the significant other is going to angrily shoo the carolers away. Imagine what you’d do to a buddy you found standing there with your girl, holding a “you are perfect” sign, not to mention how bizarre that would objectively look. It's probably best to leave this one to the Brits.