While I won't say I subscribe to the whole "creepy clown" hysteria that plagued the nation in 2016, I won't front like Stephen King's It isn't scary as hell. I remember the 1990 miniseries, and have been on the internet enough to possibly have shrieked at Tim Curry's epic take on the evil clown. Surely I can handle a 2017 remake of It, which hits theaters on Sept. 8, right?
That's what I thought until lil man's boat fell into the sewer and this happened.
"OK calm down, calm down, you have to get through this post," I tell myself. But then THE 2017 movie bass drop hits and I know I'm f*cking done for. I mean creepy clowns being spotted in sewers are one thing; he can't grab a grown-ass man, right? Then this sh*t happens...
OK SO I'M LEGIT FREAKED OUT. I SHOULDN'T BE; I'D READ POSTS ABOUT THIS EXACT FOOTAGE WHEN IT WAS PREMIERED AT SXSW 2017, BUT SOMEHOW ACTUALLY SEEING THAT F*CKING CLOWN HAS ME SPOOKED THE F*CK OUT. MAYBE IT'S THE FACT THAT THIS APPEARS TO TOTALLY SURPASS WHAT THAT 1990 MINISERIES LOOKED LIKE. I'M OK THOUGH, EVEN IF I JUST READ THAT THIS FILM IS ACTUALLY BEING CALLED It: Part 1—The Loser's Club, BECAUSE THAT MEANS THERE'S ANOTHER PART OF THIS TERRIFYING FILM THAT I'LL HAVE TO SEE AT SOME POINT BECAUSE I NEED TO PUT FOOD ON MY FAMILY.
PLEASEJUSTREADTHESYNOPSISBECAUSEIHAVETOGOHIDEORSOMETHING:
F*CKTHISIMNOTSCAREDYOURESCAREDBYE
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