Image via Complex Original
We've been down here in Austin, maintaining a steady buzz, and catching the wide array of the films SXSW has to offer. From sleep paralyzing docs to a kidnapped kitten, the festival really does have it all for even the most discerning film viewer. It's almost... too much.
So to help out we hit up the most discerning film viewer we know, reality TV star and film buff Spencer Pratt, to review some of the SXSW films for us during the next week. Keep in mind, Spencer hasn't actually seen any of these films, but he's a man of gut reactions and intensely strong first impressions. So feel safe knowing that the following is an absolutely correct assessment of these films.
The Other Half
Starring: Tatiana Maslany, Tom Cullen, Suzanne Clément, Henry Czerny
Our Synopsis: It's basically about this guy who's living in Toronto, and he meets this woman in this very meet-cute sort of way. It seems like it's going to be more of a romantic comedy—they fall for each other really hard—but he finds out she's bi-polar and pretty crazy. The movie then documents the ups and downs of their relationship: how they deal with her mental illness and kind of whether or not they can make the relationship work between the two of them.
Spencer's Review: I can tell you that I'd definitely skip that. If I want to watch bipolar relationships, I'll turn on one my favorite Housewives series or Love and Hip Hop. A romantic drama? I only like romantic comedies—and I barely like them.
My Blind Brother
Starring: Jenny Slate, Adam Scott, Zoe Kazan, Nick Kroll
Our Synopsis: Adam Scott plays this guy Robby who's blind but also a total asshole. He bosses his brother around, who's played by Nick Kroll, and they're always doing marathons together so Robby can raise money for his small-town foundation to help blind people. They end up both meeting and falling for the same woman, played by Jenny Slate, who's kind of a mess in her own right and has fallen for both of the brothers. She isn't totally sure what she should be doing about it and whether she has more feelings for one or the other. Obviously there's then a competition between the two brothers.
Spencer's Review: Who's financing these movies? I want to write a damn script. This one won't even make it to Netflix. You lost me at the title. My Blind Brother? Count me out. I'd have to talk my wife into seeing that movie: "I've got a great movie—let's go see My Blind Brother." She'd be like, "No, let's go see Zootopia."
War on Everyone
Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Michael Peña, Tessa Thompson, Theo James, Stephanie Sigman
Our Synopsis: Skarsgård and Peña play two bad cops. They're best friends who've been recently suspended. The whole movie focuses on them being pretty shitty cops but working toward getting rid of even shittier criminals. So they're going after this really bad dude, Theo James, who's like in the Divergent movies. It also has Tessa Thompson and is this bad buddy cop comedy that's super, super violent. The tagline they were using was "If you're easily offended, you probably shouldn't watch this movie because it's offensive to everyone."
Spencer's Review: Oh, I love this movie. That's a win.
Operator
Starring: Martin Starr, Mae Whitman
Our Synopsis: This couple is in their twenties and married. They've been married for a fair amount of time. He's an awkward engineer, and he's running this company where it's an automated hotline and you're supposed to call in, and the voice isn't pleasing enough. So he ends up using his girlfriend, Emily's voice to kind of remodel it. After that he becomes weirdly attached to this thing that he's built that has his wife's voice attached to it, even though he has his wife right there. So it really strains their relationship (he's also very prone to panic attacks). So it's about the evolution of a young relationship when you still don't know who you are.
Spencer's Review: Yep, I would miss that movie too. It sounds like a copy of that one where the guy talks to the computer. Her? I didn't watch that either.
Long Nights Short Mornings
Starring: Shiloh Fernandez, Ella Rae Peck, Paten Hughes
Our Synopsis: Fernandez plays this guy who's in his twenties and lives in New York, and he's basically fucking his way through NYC and LA. The movie is broken up into small vignettes named after the girl that he is having his relationship with, or one-night stand, or whatever. It's about this dude discovering himself, and we learn about who he is through the women he's been with.
Spencer's Review: It's like that movie with Ashton Kutcher where he lives in Hollywood. [Ed. Note: I think Spencer is referring to Spread?] That one wasn't good enough to remember the title. Being a married man, watching that pervert bang his way through town, I don't think I could see it. Right, Heidi? Heidi says that's right.
I hope they paid you to go sit through these movies. I could see these movies with free alcohol though. Yep, all of them get approved with alcohol. Sober? Only the Training Day knockoff. Did you see Obama there?