Image via HBO
To say that we're excited for season two of Issa Rae's brilliant HBO comedy, Insecure, returning on July 23rd, would be a total understatement. The show that follows a group of thirtysomethings navigating their lives and loves in Los Angeles—is equal parts hilarious and heartfelt but also unafraid of telling the harsh truth.
There's no harsher truth in Insecure than in the ways that it depicted relationships throughout its first season. From Issa and Lawrence's floundering relationship to Issa's infidelity with Daniel to Lawrence's rebound sex—it's easy to recognize yourself in the characters and how they continue to fuck up their shit. And for those of us not in relationships, Molly, has the minefield of Los Angeles dating covered from the scrubs, the commitment phobic to her own neurotic hang ups. So, here's what Issa, Lawrence and Molly have told us NOT to do when falling in and out of love.
Don't cheat on your dude
Episode: “Shady as Fuck,” E5, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Issa
Yeah, yeah, it's easy to be tempted when you are spending a bit too much QT with a super hot former flame, but there's a fine line between flirting and uh, boning. Issa, who was in clear denial about just how bad her relationship with Lawrence had got, stayed at the studio too late, drinking too many drinks, and making too many fluttery eyes at Daniel. And with that kind of low lighting—what else could have even happened? But while it may have seemed right in the moment, the guilt that Issa's racked with for the remainder of the season proves to not have been worth it. The moral of the story: always keep it in your pants.
Pay more attention to your woman
Episode: “Insecure as Fuck," E1, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Lawrence
Yes, Lawrence is fine as hell, but it’s pretty impossible to ignore how much he fails Issa on an emotional level at the start of the season. Watching her return home after a maddening day at the office only to find him noshing on cereal in sweats and theoretically “working on his business plan” hurts, but nothing stings more than his outright disinterest in how her day went. Doesn’t matter how long y’all have been together—you still gotta ask your girl how she’s feeling.
Don't jump the gun 3 dates in
Episode: “Shady as Fuck,” E5, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly
It's easy to be quickly enamored of a new beau but it's an entirely different thing to try to take it to the next level too quickly. After a few dates with Jidenna (he wasn't playing himself on the show though smh), Molly's ready to take it there. She tells him to bring clothes over for their next sleepover and invites him to her friend's engagement party—which of course doesn't end well. I'm all for being open about your feels, but for the first couple months it's not a terrible idea to keep some cards close to your chest.
Don't cut your hoes off prematurely
Episode: “Racist as Fuck,” E3, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly
“Now I can finally date dudes on my level,” Molly says, as soon as she gets accepted to a dating app for professionals called The League. The very next thing she does is tell Jared, the guy she’d been dating, that she just wants to be friends. Not smart, Molly. You should never dry out your dating pool unless you’re for sure out of the game.
Be clear about what you want
Episode: “Insecure as Fuck,” E1, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly
From the very first episode, we learn not to take cues from Molly. For some reason, she’s surprised when a guy tells her he isn’t looking for a relationship—even though he told her from jump he was just going with the flow. If she wasn’t cool with that, she shouldn’t have invested any time on dates.
Don't be clingy
Episode: “Thirsty as Fuck," E4, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly, again
After about three dates—Molly’s magic number—Dr. Bae says this is the first time in a while he’d met someone he wanted to have multiple outings with. Emboldened by this good news, Molly just can’t help herself. She promptly proceeds to badger him about not texting her one night to let her know he got home safe. As she goes on and on about how “it’s the little things,” you can just see Dr. Bae rapidly losing interest. Date three is too early to start acting like his mom, Molz.
Let someone's past be their past
Episode: "Guilty as Fuck," E6, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly
Just when it seemed like Molly was FINALLY getting her shit together and starting a good thing with Jared—who she had brushed off wayyyy too many times already, she fucked it up again. After getting together, the two began getting to know each other, spilling secrets when Jared admits having a sexual experience with a guy. He reassures her that it was an one time thing, but as we've well learned, Molly will not let it go. So she breaks up with Jared (the only good guy she dated all season tbh) because she just can't let it go. Maybe it's best to let a person's past be their past.
Have standards, but don't be superficial
Episode: "Racist as Fuck," E3, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Molly
Molly is a lawyer who wants to date other professionals, so she cuts off Jared, who didn’t go to college and works at Enterprise rental car. Nevermind the fact that despite his status, they were having a great time! She learns later that your coins don’t correlate to your character.
Don't get complacent
Episode: “Insecure as Fuck," E1, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Lawrence
Sorry to anyone who strongly identifies as #TeamLawrence, but it’s pretty hard to ignore the fact that Issa’s man had gotten a little too comfortable hanging out at home in sweats while she went to work every day. If that weren’t enough, he totally let her down on her birthday suggesting they just relax at home and watch a movie. Important life lesson? If it’s your girls’ born day, you better have a plan. Netflix and chill doesn’t cut it.
Don't keep secrets
Episode: "Real As Fuck," E7, S1
Who Was Guilty Of: Issa
Sure, Issa’s relationship with Daniel was shady from the get-go, and pretty much everything she did with him under her man’s nose was seriously uncool—but letting Lawrence find out about what happened between the two of them after an awkward run-in, rather than just sitting him down and hitting him with the #facts made things even worse. Maybe Lawrence still would have gotten all table-flipping devastated just the same, but at least he would have heard such devastating news from the right person.