Making the same plans every Friday night can become boring. You go to the same dive bars, hang out with the same group of friends, and drink your alcohol the same boring way. Wait, what?
Making the same plans every Friday night can become boring. You go to the same dive bars, hang out with the same group of friends, and drink your alcohol the same boring way. Wait, what?
The Boozy Foot Soak
Soaking your feet in alcohol to get a buzz has been a myth among the citizens of Denmark for years. Surprisingly, it took quite some time before researchers decided to actually test this theory. To no one's surprise, soaking your feet in alcohol accomplishes nothing but ruining your toe nails.
iDrink
This flask has got to be the dumbest flask ever. How inconspicuous can you really be while drinking from your iPhone? You might own a smart phone, but you're definitely not the intelligent person if you thought this flask was a brilliant idea. It's just not.
Shoot It Up
Leave it to Steve-O to attempt the most dangerous way to consume alcohol imaginable. The Jackass actor attempts to get drunk off of five shots of vodka by pouring the booze into an IV. Someone (clearly not a RN) inserts the IV needle into his veins and he begins roaming the town, hospital gown and all. It's hard to discern if this method is effective being that Steve-O appears drunk 99% of the time. Regardless, it's obvious that you shouldn't request this treatment on your next doctor's visit.
Riding Dirty
We're not quite sure why you would need easy access to your booze while you are riding a bike, but just in case you do, feel free to use this. Your flask fits perfectly under your bicycle seat giving you a peace of mind while riding through Central Park. Or something.
Beer Belly
Tired of having to shell out cash at the bar for beer? You'll no longer be at the bartender's mercy with the Beer Belly. With this innovative device, you can insert your favorite booze into a discreet pouch that attaches to your stomach and appears to be a "beer belly." Now you won't look like a fool for spending money on beer. But, you will still look like a fool.
Super Absorbant Shots
We're pretty sure that when Kotex was advertising its super-absorbent tampons they didn't expect them to be used like this. Some have taken it upon themselves to see just how much liquid these tampons can absorb. After filling a cup up with whiskey, a tampon is dropped in to absorb as much of the alcohol as possible. The tampon is then sucked out using only the mouth. There's no method more disgusting, and from the sound ot it, grossly ineffective.
Take Me Out to the Ballgame
Not only do you have nose-bleed seats at the baseball game, but one bottle of beer costs more than your tickets did. With these nifty binoculars, you'd be able to get a better view of the game while sipping on some tasty beer. Though, we doubt they'll be effective when your buzzed and blurry-eyed.
Flip Flop Shots
Just pour some of your drink into the shoe's side compartment, slide them on your feet, and enjoy your drink once you arrive at your destination. Hygienic? No, but they make for a good party trick...if your friends are the type to be impressed by chugging booze out of your footwear.
Cloudy With a Chance of Alcohol
As the opening credits state, this guy is a "professional" who successfully mastered the art of being dumb as hell, or as he likes to call it, smoking alcohol. Using an empty liter bottle, the alcohol of your choice, and a bike pump, you too can become a professional alcohol smoker. Just kidding. Never try this.
Flask Tie
This tie is for the office man who needs more than a water break. The Flask Tie allows you to sneak in some sips during that boring conference call. Like their saying goes: "Don't be that guy...get a Flask Tie." Whatever that means.
The Wine Rack
Brought to you from the same ingenious creators of the Beer Belly, comes the Wine Rack. Ladies, now you can enjoy the luxury of sipping on your favorite drink from your sports bra. Other women at the bar are sure to be green with envy. Or, really fucking creeped out. Let us know!
Shampbooze
Shampbooze allows you to hide up to 32 fluid ounces of alcohol (the shampoo and conditioner bottles are 16 oz. each) in your luggage without raising any suspicion. We have no idea why one wouldn't just purchase said bottle of booze once they arrived at their destination, but if you have a rare bottle of whiskey you just NEED to have (and are cool with sipping out af a shampoo bottle) this is the cheesy product for you!
Heavy Flow
This method involves infusing a tampon with vodka, or whatever your alcohol preference may be, and sticking where it does (or does not) belong. For women, the vodka tampons are being inserted where they're meant to be, while men are inserting the tampons into their derriere. The logical reasoning behind this? Well, there isn't one, but doctors suggest that teens think it's a quicker way of getting buzzed that avoids the smell of alcohol on their mouth. Unsurprisingly, doctors say this method results in alcohol poisoning due to the inability to gage the amount of alcohol consumed, and permanent damage to the vaginal walls: A steep price to pay for a buzz, no?
An Eye Full of Liquor
This insanely stupid, dangerous method of imbibing is called "Eyeballing". The person applies a bottle of vodka to their eye and cries out from the burning sensation. The genius behind this method thought it would be a faster way of getting alcohol into the bloodstream. It isn't. Much less alcohol can be absorbed through your eyeball than, let's say, your mouth. You will most likely be drunk off the excruciating pain and the inevitable optical damage. Way to go.
Stuffy Nose
Putting a straw in alcohol and taking it straight in the nose is fearful method of taking in alcohol we've heard some crazy fool out there has actually tried. We say crazy, because it can result in serious damage to your sinuses and leave you unconscious. All around, just not a good look.