The annual NBA All-Star spectacle is fast approaching.
And the anticipation of the will he/won’t he of Lebron participating in the dunk contest is about the only thing to get excited about. All-Star games are in serious need of some sexing up, and what better way than to combine our two greatest loves and put together the ultimate face off.
From the graphically tight to the hilariously unbalanced, here’s our Fantasy East and West Digital Dream Team.
The annual NBA All-Star spectacle is fast approaching.
And the anticipation of the will he/won’t he of Lebron participating in the dunk contest is about the only thing to get excited about. All-Star games are in serious need of some sexing up, and what better way than to combine our two greatest loves and put together the ultimate face off.
From the graphically tight to the hilariously unbalanced, here’s our Fantasy East and West Digital Dream Team.
Michael Jordan
Favorite platform appearance: Space Jam – SNES/Genesis
Position: Power Forward
Team: Team East
It was an era where every single product on the planet earth was endorsed by Michael Jordan, and even though this game was every kind of embarrassing garbage, MJ still managed to be awesome. Some people might have chosen the young up-and-comer from "Jordan VS. Bird, but I think Jordan where he was so on top of his game he could crack wise with Yosemite Sam and still be feared by real live opponents is exactly the sort of man I want on my team.
Allen Iverson
Favorite platform appearance: NBA 2K1 – Sega Dreamcast
Position: Passing Guard
Team: Team East
The mighty 2K series only had eyes for Allen Iverson back in the heady days of the early 00's, and that meant that whenever Iverson had the ball, time on the Dreamcast stood still, and you'd have to give anybody playing against the 76ers a handicap of about 15 buckets. Thankfully there was no "Practice Mode" back then. With A.I. nailing baskets from the perimeter all day and all of the night, all you really have to worry about is being a gracious winner.
Charles Barkley
Favorite platform appearance: Barkley Shut up and Jam: Gaiden - PC
Position: Center
Team: Team East
Charles Barkley was good, but the Charles Barkley in 2053 saving the world and basketball after a Chaos Dunk had destroyed the island of Manhattan, is magical. For those of you who missed the insanely straight-faced, honest-to-god best indie RPG to come out of the 00's, you'll have to trust us. The Charles Barkley from the future will not only slam and jam, but he'll prove once and for all that mad skills inside the paint will always win out over evil.
Kaori
Favorite platform appearance: Shaq-Fu SNES-Genesis
Position: Point Guard
Team: Team East
There should be a girl on this team, right? From one of the underappreciated (though not at all underrated) fighting games of the 90's, Cat lady Kaori wasn't even a basketball player per say, but she had all kinds of martial arts wickedness and a weird, slow tornado spin attack move that I can only assume would translate to setting picks very nicely. Also, Shaq-Fu.
Lebron James
Favorite platform appearance: NBA Live 2010 PS3-Xbox 360
Position: Small Forward
Team: Team East
The King is either the best or second best player that ever walked the Earth, I'll leave that up to you, and the version I want on my squad showed up in 2010 and played for the Cavaliers. I don't mean to say he didn't become a better player after "the Decision", but there's something about how they figured his stats before he became the Champ he is now that just made him more fun to play. Using him in NBA Live now, even when he's their poster child, it feels like they weigh him down in the interest of parity, but back then, he felt explosive, like you were playing with somebody from the future.
Kobe Bryant
Favorite platform appearance: Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside – N64
Position: Passing Guard
Team: Team West
Oh, you thought you weren't gonna see Black Mamba? KBINBAC was the best basketball game the N64 ever played host to and the last basketball game to ride a Basketball player's name instead of the overall league, and Kobe earned every piece of that cake. Once again, since MJ owned the rights to his image, he was a no show on the court, meaning that Kobe alone got the "Brett Favre" bump and played heads and shoulders better than everybody else. While the game was stuck on the '64, Kobe moved like he was already on the Gamecube. It wasn't fair, but it was pretty.
Blake Griffin
Favorite platform appearance: NCAA Basketball 10 – PS3/Xbox 360
Position: Power Forward
Team: Team West
2010 Was the Swan Song for the Digital NCAA, and there's no better bannerman for the era than it's last poster boy Blake Griffin. In his sophomore season Griffin was the spark plug that won every award the NCAA could give him, and in the game he played even better. If you'd never seen a videogame controller before, if you've never seen a television before, you would still win March Madness if you picked Oklahoma at random.
Yeti Snowman
Favorite platform appearance: NBA Street PS2/Xbox/Gamecube
Position: Center
Team: Team West
There were dozens of unlockable players from as many games that could have made the cut, but we'd be crazy not to draft Yeti Snowman first overall. A literal monster at 8 feet 425 points, he's as dominating at center as he is, umm, anatomically. You can beat him with speed, but he might just rip your arms off next play. It's better just to let the Yeti win.
Keith "Ace" Gibbs
Favorite platform appearance: Slam City with Scotty Pippen – Sega CD
Position: Small Forward
Team: Team West
"Who?" You say. This California blondie is an obscure character in an obscure game whose only console appearance was the unfortunate Sega CD. "Ace" was the penultimate villain in the one-on-one battle to the top, he was the Sagat to Scotty Pippen's M. Bison, but his flow was true, his moves were smooth, and his likeness, Keith Gibbs the actor, was in pretty much every basketball movie in the nineties, from "Blue Chips" to "The Air up There" so there's some kind of Karmic thing at work there too. It's also worth noting that Scotty Pippen wouldn't even be the top pick from his own game.
John Stockton
Favorite platform appearance: NBA JAM-Genesis/SNES
Position: Point Guard
Team: Team West
In a game suspiciously Michael Jordan-free, John Stockton was to NBA Jam what Oddjob was to Goldeneye. The fastest thing to hit my Genesis since that epilepsy-inducing hedgehog bastard, Stockton got more steals than JP Morgan and was literally infallible "From Downtown". Number 12 was on more fire than Sarajevo in the nineties, and picking him was a surefire way to start a blood feud with any friend you had over.