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It may be one of the most popular genres for casual moviegoers, but action films are still some of the most despised films among hardcore cinephiles and critics alike. The thin stories, bland characters, sub-par acting, and over-reliance on explosions have watered down these movies to the point of satire over the years. But despite the genre’s recent struggles, there's no doubting that these flicks ruled the box office during the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Celluloid tough guys like Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Chuck Norris made some serious bank during this time by putting out movies with plenty of broken bones, explosions, and bullet-ridden bad guys. As with any genre, some of these movies were better than others, but they all managed to tap into the cultural zeitgeist of the times. Now these action pioneers are looking to make a comeback in The Expendables 2.
With stars like Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Bruce Willis teaming up with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Norris, the extremely macho sequel will undoubtedly jam so much testosterone into our eye sockets that our pupils probably won’t be able to pass NCAA drug testing afterwards. To celebrate the movie’s release this Friday, we’re taking a look back at The Must-See Action Movies from the Stars of The Expendables 2.
RELATED: The 50 Greatest Action Movies of All Time
Written by Jason Serafino (@serafinoj1)
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Jason Statham
Best movie: Crank (2006)
Deliriously over-the top and campy, Crank is a movie that has absolutely no reason to be as good as it is. As most stars (*cough* Sly Stallone *cough*) tend to take the genre way too seriously, Jason Statham is clearly having fun poking and prodding at action movie clichés in this absurd gem. He plays a British hitman who must keep his adrenaline flowing at all times to prevent the poison in his body from killing him.
This means that he has to involve himself in countless car chases, fist fights, and perverse sexual activity in order to stay alive. And, of course, no one benefits from this more than the bloodthirsty audience. For the full-on action junkie who guzzles Mountain Dew by the gallon and swears John Woo is the second coming of Fellini, Crank is a sublime thrill ride of XBOX proportions.
Blood flows like water, naked women are in abundance, and the dialogue scenes are treated with the subtlety of a chainsaw. In short: By being a satire of the action genre, Crank somehow manages to be one of its best installments.
Runner-up: The Transporter (2002)
After having supporting roles in crime movies like Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Statham proved to the world that he was leading man material in the original Transporter. As a driver-for-hire, Statham showed off his action chops flawlessly as he tussled with cops and gangsters for 90 action-filled minutes. There really isn’t much of a story to speak of, but fans of the genre have long realized that isn’t why they keep watching.
Jet Li
Best movie: Fist of Legend (1994)
It’s easy to forget how many solid movies Jet Li has been a part of, but it seems like all you have to do is get him away from Hollywood and he's more than capable of putting out jaw-dropping action flicks like no one else. But no movie on his resume stacks up to Fist of Legend. It's the one that launched Li into the stratosphere of martial arts cinema and helped redefine the way action was filmed in both the East and West.
Fist of Legend goes beyond simple fight scenes, though, because the story is solid enough to exist as more than an obstacle standing in the way of more action. If you want to get into modern martial arts cinema beyond Bruce Lee, Fist of Legend is one of the best examples around.
Runner-up: Hero (2002)
It took a lot of good will and some involvement by Quentin Tarantino to finally get Hero screened in the States, but when it arrived it wowed audiences and critics with a unique blend of kinetic action and beautiful use of color and camera work. The movie perturbed some people who believed it tried to push a pro-totalitarian agenda, but there is no denying that the scope and spectacle are second to none. And Li, once again, delivered a great performance as the unknown warrior and unlikely savior of the piece.
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Best movie: Bloodsport (1988)
At this point it’s painfully clear that Jean-Claude Van Damme will never have the title “Academy Award winner” attached to his name—not unless there is a category for getting down with Kylie Minogue. But the man certainly knows his Ninjutsu. In Bloodsport, Van Damme got to show off his physical prowess for the world in a film that has become an absolute cult phenomenon.
The movie deals with Van Damme competing in an underground fighting tournament in order to honor his mentor. The less you try to think about the plot the better because the real highlight here is the raw physicality Van Damme brings to every frame of this film. In the history of cinema, no other movie has done such a good job of making everyone who watches it feel like a fat slob. But intense jealously aside, it’s still a thrill to watch Van Damme do his thing on the silver screen.
Runner-up: Hard Target (1993)
Notable for being the first American film directed by John Woo, Hard Target brings some class action scenes to the screen, but it also features a shoddy story and stiff acting from Van Damme. However, the kicking, punching, and explosions are legit enough to make Hard Target the second-best action flick on Van Damme’s resume. Sure, we’ve seen better acting in grammar school productions of Othello, but you can't ignore the mayhem that Woo and Van Damme put onto the screen together.
Dolph Lundgren
Best movie: Masters of the Universe(1987)
We can already hear the fury from film fans everywhere over this choice, but the fact is that Masters of the Universe isn't nearly as bad as people like to remember. Not only that, but we suggest that the movie is actually pretty damn good when you look at it in a certain way.
It’s filled to the brim with the type of madness that could have only emerged from the ‘80s, and because of that, there is a charm to the whole thing that makes it utterly engrossing to watch. Come on, what other movie features the great Frank Langella dressed up like a Shakespearian skeleton chewing the scenery for over an hour and a half?
It’s not in Langella’s delivery that this surreal piece of pop-art flourishes, though—it’s in Dolph Lundgren's pec-rippling acting. Physically he's the picture perfect representation of He-Man, but his accent and emotionless delivery make his performance stiff as a pint of scotch. Yet you can tell that the dude made a huge effort to try and capture the essence of the character, and for that we have to commend him. Plus, he can take a near-nude flogging with the best of them.
Runner-up: Universal Soldier (1992)
Dolph Lundgren has never been more at home than in Universal Soldier. In the movie he actually got to play the emotionless reanimated corpse of a dead military soldier, so his zombie-like acting chops were actually a positive thing here. And with Jean-Claude Van Damme and director Roland Emmerich on the project, no one expected miracles from this movie, but it would up being a pretty entertaining—albeit mindless—action flick.
Chuck Norris
Best movie: Way of the Dragon (1972)
On his own, Chuck Norris made several enjoyable action flicks, like Good Guys Wear Black (1978), Lone Wolf McQuade (1983), and Code of Silence (1985), but it's work alongside Bruce Lee that reigns supreme.
Even though he’s not in the movie for too long, Norris’ role as one of the villains in Lee’s Way of the Dragon (titled Return of the Dragon in the states) ranks as his most memorable foray onto the silver screen. Playing a fighter hired to take down Lee’s character, Norris got to show off his masterful martial arts abilities in a climactic final battle with the Asian sensation that helped launch his young career.
Unfortunately for Norris, the rest of his movie career was spent churning out junk B-movies aimed at appealing to the lowest common denominator, but for this one brief role he was acting opposite from a legend. It’s also interesting to note that it appears that Chuck Norris’ iconic beard used to apparently reside on his back. Seriously dude, grab a razor.
Runner-up: Missing in Action (1984)
In terms of clichéd ‘80s action fare, nothing quite lives up to Missing in Action. Its plot is paper thin, the characters are stereotypical, and it fails to deliver anything remotely close to being satisfying.
Still, Missing in Action somehow manages to be Norris’ second-best picture. There's an undeniably cheesy charm to this film that makes the whole thing come across as one big joke; unfortunately, if it is a joke, Norris certainly doesn’t seem to be in on it. On the bight side, this movie is the type of thing to ironically enjoy on a rainy Saturday afternoon in front of a cooler of adult beverages.
Bruce Willis
Best movie: Die Hard (1988)
When it comes to action movies from the ‘80s, there's Die Hard and then there's everything else. When this movie hit theaters in 1988, it was an immediate sensation and let the world know that the genre could feature more than just muscle-bound bodybuilders attempting to “act” their way from action scene to action scene. By casting Bruce Willis in the role of John McClane, director John McTiernan gave us a look at how the “everyman” would deal with a terrorist attack, which was a welcome change for once.
Willis wasn’t blessed with the biggest muscles, toughest voice, or even a full head of hair in this movie. But he made everyone believe that with a bit of luck and guile that he could save innocents from the ominously German villain Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman). Willis was charming, funny, and smart, and for once the average audience member could imagine themselves being tough enough to do what he was doing on the screen. We just wouldn’t suggest that you try to walk across any broken glass barefoot, though. You’re not that tough.
Runner-up: Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Most people might think that Die Hard 2 is far superior to Die Hard with a Vengeance, but hear us out for a bit. In addition to John McClane being saltier and more foul-mouthed than before, the additions of both Samuel L. Jackson and Jeremy Irons to the cast elevate this movie just slightly over the second installment.
The action is fierce, the relationship between Willis and Jackson is hilarious, and Jeremy Irons as a comic book type terrorist who leaves riddles all around New York for McClane is an inspired choice. It doesn’t really follow the formula from the first two Die Hard films, and for that reason Die Hard with a Vengeance carves out its own identity.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Best movie: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Did you really expect any other movie to get the top spot here? Terminator 2: Judgment Day is the absolute peak of the action genre in our opinion, and over 20 years after its release it’s amazing that it holds up just as well as it did on opening night. With a terrific story in place and a performance by Schwarzenegger that's the absolute best of career, T2 inspires memories of a time when Hollywood blockbusters were built with love and care, instead of the digital monstrosities that they have evolved into.
The terrifying story of technology gone mad might seem clichéd at this point, but Judgment Day did it better than anyone before or since. And most of the film’ acclaim has to rest at the feet of Schwarzenegger, who ironically brought some real heart and soul to the silicon killer that he was playing. Terminator 2 is one of the rare sequels that doesn’t just improve upon the original, it absolutely demolished it.
Runner-up: True Lies (1994)
It would be easy to put the original Terminator in this spot, but as a pure action movie, we think True Lies works much better. In yet another collaboration between Schwarzenegger and James Cameron, True Lies was the first comedy from the duo, and it turned out to be their most interesting project together.
In it, Cameron gave us an offbeat look at the life of a government spy as Schwarzenegger tried to juggle his mundane family life with his violent, action-packed job throughout the entire film. Cameron and Arnold seamlessly blended comedic timing and big-budget spectacle into a package that's still wholly original to this day.
Sylvester Stallone
Best movie: Rambo: First Blood (1982)
Being that this is an action film list, don’t expect any of the Rocky movies to be on here. That doesn’t mean Stallone has nothing going for him. His Rambo franchise is easily one of the most brutal and testosterone-packed sagas ever to be put on film, yet it’s the first installment that really sticks out for us. Rambo: First Blood outshines the sequels by actually attempting to tell a story while also satisfying our need for brutal fights at every turn.
Focusing on Rambo as a drifter in a small town, First Blood highlights the psychological issues that Vietnam vets had to deal with when attempting to assimilate back into society. But aside from all of that touchy-feely psychobabble, this movie is a tough-as-nails action piece with enough bicep-pumping fisticuffs to turn the most vehement pacifist into a bloodthirsty hooligan.
Runner-up: Cliffhanger (1993)
Although it might seem like an odd choice, we suggest you actually sit down and watch Cliffhanger again; it’s a genuinely intense thriller. In it, Stallone plays an experienced mountain climber and rescue ranger who gets caught up in a nefarious scheme by a traitorous member of the U.S. Government, played by John Lithgow.
No one will ever mistake this movie for The Seventh Seal, but in terms of being an out-and-out action flick, Cliffhanger offers up a bit more than the typical hackneyed quips and shirtless shootouts that polluted the genre at the time. Plus, the mountain setting offers up a platform for some pretty inventive fight scenes that work without the glut of CGI that we see today.