Image via Complex Original
Well, we’ve reached the most bountiful time of the year: holiday season. Where there’s plenty of free food to eat, free drinks to drink, and free mistakes to make. If you’ve worked in Corporate America long enough, then you’ve seen both the highs and lows of living that office holiday party life. But there’s really no reason to not have a blast crushing the holiday party circuit this season. Other than a few sneaky little missteps that can be avoided, an office holiday party can be a truly magical experience—one that may be talked about for ages to come by that small group of people who weirdly work at one place for far too long. So grab yourself a handful of cookies and a tall glass of whatever and let me walk you through what it takes to make your holiday party the best yet.
Looking for more holiday spirit or a last-minute gift? Check out the Best Buy Holiday Gift Guide for ideas and inspiration.
When in Doubt, Be a Spectator
As long as you don’t come into your office shindig with some Grinch-type mindset, it’s almost impossible to not have a good time. First and foremost, remember that it’s a party—a party that you did not have to plan nor supply any of the food, drink, or activities for. So if all else fails and you just can’t muster up the energy to be “fun,” just go and consume and watch. Watch all the coworkers who have been waiting for this moment to show everyone how fun they really are. Which, of course, will not end well, but as long as it’s not you, let them eat cake, free, delicious, Santa-faced cake.
Bring a Date
This one’s pretty obvious if you’re already in a relationship because it’s almost expected, but if you’re not, bring one anyway. It’ll send a strong message to your coworkers that you’re not looking to follow-up on any of those harmless office flirtations that help you get through the day. It’ll also give you a great way out of awkward conversations, or even the entire party if things start to get strange. I mean, even if you can’t bring a proper date, bring a buddy. All you have to do is say that they’re visiting from out of town. That way, at the very least, you get to party with your homie on the company’s dime, which is nice.
If You Gotta Go, Just Go
One of the most important components to having a memorable holiday party experience is knowing when to throw in the towel. Your exit strategy is even more important than your entrance strategy (show up late, let them come to you) because you never want someone to remember when and/or why you left. This is why I’ve grown to appreciate bouncing without saying a word. It has saved me from many uncomfortable goodbyes and unnecessarily extended evenings. Here’s the trick: The first time you say to yourself, “It’s only 10 o’clock? It’s still early!” You leave ten minutes later. Fake a phone call and meander your way to a respectable departure.
Libation Moderation
The drinks will be free and that’s a wonderful thing. But free doesn’t mean that all of the drinks are your drinks to drink. Keep it easssyyy breeeeeezzyyyy. Drink, snack, converse, and repeat—casually. In fact, you should double up on the snacks during every round. They’re only going to taste better as the night goes on—you and I both know that. As I said before, there will be people who have too much fun. There’s no need to be one of those people. Plus, holiday party drinks are always so festive, you can’t really have too many of them anyway. So don’t get waterlogged on the nog, okay? Feel free to reuse that.
Don’t Feed Those Hungry Eyes
This might be the most difficult tip to uphold but it’s also the most crucial to your longevity at said company. The energy at a holiday party is so jubilant and carefree that it’s awfully easy to get caught up in the moment and entertain some inter-office mingling. Now, for some, that has worked out quite well, but I doubt that it started at a holiday party. Look, we all have our work wives and work husbands that we lean on as our emotional work anchors. And it’s easy to catch some feelings when both of you are wistfully wrapped up in the holiday spirit, but tread lightly. Those hungry eyes can quickly become “let’s get coffee everyday” eyes or “I’m moving my desk next yours” eyes or “I already asked for vacation days for the wedding we’ve never discussed, yet” eyes.
Participate in Everything
Once you graduate from school, you can no longer be “too cool for school.” It’s quite literally impossible. So don’t go into your party with the mindset that you’re above the festivities. If you do, then your coworkers won’t like you. And when your coworkers don’t like you, work gets weird and sad and lonely and no one likes any of those things. Well, weird is fun sometimes. That’s why I say go into every office party READY 2 ROCK. You limbo. You karaoke. You dance with your boss. You eat cookies even if you’re gluten-free because we all know that that’s total BS. Be the life of the party—at least for a little bit—because sometimes the quiet ones need a Pied Piper of fun to kick things off proper.
Be Mr. or Miss Holiday Party
Why limit yourself to just attending your own company’s holiday party? Depending on the industry that you work in, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to finagle yourself into the various parties of companies that work with your own. If that’s not an option, refer to my previous tip about bringing a date and just role with a homie to their party. Attending a holiday party that isn’t your own is the absolute best. You get to check out an entirely new crowd of people in an entirely new office. Maybe you find the love of your life, or at least the love of your winter. Maybe you get to try some new fancy snack that your unrefined palette hasn’t tasted yet. Or maybe you just end up crushing a ton of pigs in a blanket. Who knows! Who cares! The world’s your oyster and inside that oyster is somebody else paying for you to party.
Against All Odds, Look Great
Ugly sweaters are stupid. Partially forget what I said earlier about participating in everything—this is 168 percent excluded from said rule. Yeah, people will think that you’re too good for them when you show up looking like a grownup. You’ll just have to make it up to them in other ways, like participating in everything but this. Or really take one for the team and save someone from an awkward boss chat. The truth of the matter is that nobody likes an ugly sweater party. But what they really don’t like is being left out, hence the widespread participation in ugly sweater parties. My mom always taught me that, at the very least, try to look good doing whatever it is that you’re doing. So keep it holiday, keep it fun, keep it winter—just keep it sharp. People will eventually get over the fact that you had the courage to take the road less traveled and people will admire you for it. And what’s more rewarding than the undying admiration from a handful of people that you’ll never see again once you quit? Absolutely nothing.