Image via Complex Original
People have strong "opinions" about beer. That's a good thing. Discussion is good. Discussion is how people learn. Your favorite canned beer isn't the next man's favorite canned beer, but the beers on this list are obviously the best because I said so. OK, it's true that personal taste is highly subjective, but I've logged enough years in the game to know what I'm talking about when it comes to the beers you want in your koozie. You think you're too good for beer in a can? That's cool. Good luck with those herpes you contracted from that dirty pint glass. Are you down with looking seriously American while pounding brews out of aluminum? Perfect. Pull up a lawn chair and prepare to drink. Here is your definitive ranking of canned beers from best to worst.
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15. Brooklyn Summer Ale
Founded: 1987
Location: Brooklyn
Taste: Tight jeans and high fives
ABV %: 5.00
I would be doing a disservice to the splendor that is summer if I didn't include this seasonal, canned delight. I'm not even a big seasonal beer guy, but this one reminds me of unforgettable rooftop BBQs with hipsters in Williamsburg. Now if you don't live in New York and haven't experienced a rooftop BBQ, maybe try cooking some boneless chicken breasts over an oil can fire next to a dumpster instead. This beer would fit perfectly in that scenario as well.
14. Miller High Life
Founded: 1903
Location: Milwaukee
Taste: Being a dad in the 50s
ABV %: 4.6
I think I first got into the High Life when they had those commercials of the everyday man doing everyday things and rewarding himself with the champagne of beers—an amazing claim to make about beer available in a can. In some ways, it kind of is the champagne of beers. Who doesn't like to pick up a bottle of champagne after buying mulch at the local hardware store?
13. Olde English 800
Founded: 1964
Location: Milwaukee
Taste: Like being poor
ABV %: 5.9
Yep, Old Gold made it on this list and Sixpoint Sweet Action didn't. What's your point? Sometimes you've gotta just commit to the type of human being you are and own it. I realized a few years ago that I can no longer hide behind the veil of indie rock and local micro brews. I'm a Jeru and Olde E kinda man. I always have been and I always will be. The taste of this golden beauty is certainly an acquired one, so I understand if most of you don't share my enthusiasm for this trusty brew, but maybe give it a shot. Throw on your best 90s hip-hop playlist and throwback an Olde English tallboy. There's no need to "pour some out for your homies" because that's stupid and a waste of about $0.16 cents.
12. Natural Ice
Founded: 1995
Location: St. Louis
Taste: Graduating from high school at 22
ABV %: 5.9
Nothing kicks it up a notch or seven like Natty Ice. I'm not sure why "ice" beers were created other than for having a blast while looking fierce. It's a great way to send the message, "my can does more push-ups than your can and it's not afraid to do a bunch right now to prove it." That kind of message isn't right for every occasion so choose your Natty Ice moments wisely. For instance, family gathering? No. Someone else's family gathering, maybe even your girlfriend's? Absolutely. Nothing says "I love your child unconditionally" like throwing back some Ices in a backyard full of uncles.
11. Natural Light
Founded: 1977
Location: St. Louis
Taste: Like a state carnival
ABV %: 4.20
When you're young and broke, it's all about saving cash. Then you get a little bit older and it also becomes about taste. There you have it: Natty Light. Grab six on your way to your next gathering and see how many people aged 28-33 give you a silent head nod of approval. It'll help you separate the fun strangers from the pretentious strangers.
10. Bud Light
Founded: 1982
Location: St. Louis
Taste: Drinkable
ABV %: 4.20
In my book, Bud Heavy and Bud Light go hand-in-hand. Of course they taste different, but they both represent the same thing, a good ol' American time. As we get older, our tastes and preferences develop and some of the staples of our past may get pushed to the wayside, but for me, I never let them get too far away. If they get too far away then being a grown-up wins and then khakis win and that terrifies me. Never let khakis win.
9. PBR
Founded: 1844
Location: Los Angeles
Taste: Easy like Sunday morning
ABV %: 4.74
We all knew this was coming. There really shouldn't be any lists of canned beers that doesn't include PBR. Worst lists, best lists, cheapest lists, dad's lists—there's a place on all of them for this California-based classic. It's not bad, it's not great, but it is everywhere, highly affordable and there's usually a good time happening when it’s around. Say what you will about PBR, it is an undeniable symbol of America's youth and Dennis Hopper.
8. Budweiser
Founded: 1876
Location: St. Louis
Taste: Refreshingly hoppy, Beachwood aged
ABV %: 5.0%
This is arguably the classic American beer. It's Mr. Reliable. If you grew up in America, then you have had Budweiser. You always know what you're getting and you always know you'll enjoy it. It just feels like summer and summer in America is awesome. It might be what America does best. I can't imagine enjoying a disgustingly overcooked burger while watching some baseball with my oldest and stupidest friends without a can of Budweiser in my hand. I'm getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it.
7. Tecate
Founded: 1890
Location: Monterrey, Mexico
Taste: Sweet, a bit watery, but well carbonated
ABV %: 4.5%
This little red jewel always pops up at bars as a cheap alternative to the king of cheap canned beers, PBR. Tecate holds its own. Put a little hot sauce and pepper on the top of the can if you're feeling saucy. It is delicious and makes you feel like you spent closer to $4 on your beer instead of $3.
6. Narragansett Lager
Founded: 1890
Location: Providence, R.I.
Taste: Refreshing, dark golden
ABV %: 5.00%
Narragansett is just a flat out tasty and economically responsible beer. You can often find it in its purest form, the tall boy, behind some of the more colorful bars up and down the Northeast. And by "colorful" I mean "fun." And by "fun" I mean bars you need to experience before you become a parent and give up on living a "colorful" life.
5. Modelo Especial
Founded: 1922
Location: Mexico City, Mexico
Taste: Malt sweetness
ABV %: 4.4
This premium brand of Modelo is light and refreshing, but doesn't taste watered down. You don't even have to force an over-sized lime into it with your grubby fingers in order to enjoy its taste. This Mexican classic has notes of citrus already built in, so skip the lime and head straight for the tacos.
4. Long Trail Ale
Founded: 1989
Location: Bridgewaters Corners, Vermont
Taste: Clean and well balanced with medium hop
ABV %: 5.9
This is a New England staple from the beautiful state of Vermont, where cheese flows like wine and beer is as crisp as an autumn breeze. Did that last sentence make you a little nostalgic for a beautiful New England fall evening? Good. That’s essentially what this is, but in a can.
3. Duff
Founded: 1989
Location: Springfield
Taste: Like burning
ABV %: 10.0
If it's good enough for Homer, it's good enough for me.
2. Porkslap IPA
Founded: 2005
Location: Garratsville, N.Y.
Taste: Light caramel, medium hop
ABV %: 4.30
IPAs can be a bit too hoppy, but Porkslap has a great lightness and balance. Plus it has a fat pig on the can and it tastes great with a burger.
1. Harpoon IPA
Founded: 1986
Location: Boston
Taste: Crisp and hoppy
ABV %: 5.9
This is the holy grail of IPAs. It's a beer usually reserved for a bottle or draft that loses little to nothing in the can. It's simply delicious.