Body of Work: Helen Mirren's Hottest Roles
Call us crazy, but we don't usually cut for 65-year-old women (the exception being, of course, your mom). Simply put, gravity is a bitch. Plus, the 4:30 rush for the Early Bird Special at Denny's is a truly depressing sight. But Helen Mirren is a different story. The Oscar-winning Dame of the British Empire was bad, still is bad, and, for all we know, will be bad 10 years from now. She stars in Red, the adaptation of the Warren Ellis graphic novel that hits theaters tomorrow, and we'll have no problem watching Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, and John Malkovich's old asses, so long as we get a few glimpses of Helen's fine one. Mirren's been putting in working for many a minute, and in anticipation of Red, we're taking a look back at her all-time hottest roles.
Herostratus (1967)
Character: Unnamed model
Nude? No
Hottest scene: Dancing as a psychedelic rubber glove model.
Complex says: Helen's first movie appearance wasn't even a named role, but whatevs, she was hotter than a bad acid trip in this psychedelic Australian mindfuck of a flick about a dude staging his own public suicide. We'd for sure share a lid of grass with Dame Mirren anytime.
Age of Consent (1969)
Character: Cora Ryan
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: Posing fully nude for a painting while standing in the water with a spear.
Complex says: In her first major film role, Mirren plays a girl who's grown up wild off the Australian Great Barrier Reef. She catches fish (in the nude), serves as a muse for a jaded painter (in the nude), and generally shows off her badass 22-year-old body (in the nude). A must-see for any Mirren fan.
Caesar and Claretta (1975)
Character: Claretta Petacci
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: In bed with Mussolini.
Complex says: Fucking fascists! No, really, that's what Helen does in this made-for-TV BBC joint. Hey, if you're gonna sleep with mass murderers, at least have a spectacular set of twos like Dame Mirren.
Caligula (1975)
Character:Caesonia
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: Guess we'd have to go with the poolside lesbian orgy.
Complex says: As befitting a film partially financed by Penthouse, Caligula is damn near pornographic. And as befitting an actress who doesn't hold anything back, Mirren doesn't, going full frontal in two different scenes. If Age of Consent is a must-see for Mirren fans, Caligula is a must-own.
Hussy (1980)
Character: Beaty Simons
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: The rather "acrobatic" (side, back, front) sex scene.
Complex says: Contemporary actresses take note: In consecutive films Mirren went full frontal and played prostitutes in both. Now she's an Oscar-winner and a DBE. Just sayin'.
Excalibur (1981)
Character: Morgana
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: Two words: fishnet robe.
Complex says: A very cool knights and princesses flick (if you're into that sort of thing), and pretty clearly the inspiration for all types of hot Xena action that followed.
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
Character: Georgina Spica
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: Sex in the bakery!
Complex says: Prediction: you will not look this hot when you're 44 years old. Another prediction: you will never look as hot in a black Andy Warhol wig as HM (and you definitely won't get any sex in public bathrooms wearing it, either).
The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (2003)
Character:
Nude?
Hottest scene:
Complex says:
Love Ranch (2010)
Character: Grace Bontempo
Nude? Yes
Hottest scene: Getting taken from behind by a younger man.
Complex says: Mirren stars as the wife in the husband and wife team that opened the first legal brothel in Nevada. Once again, Mirren plays a woman we can definitely get down with.