Image via Complex Original
The blog-style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, however, is its approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines of April.
OH MY GAWWWWWD!!! Dwight From The ATLANTA HOUSEWIVES Just Got A NEW NOSE JOB . . . And Now His Face Is Even MORE FRIGHTENING Than Before!!!
Date: April 29
Can dude even breathe?
We Got Some Pics Of Rapper ACE HOOD'S Babys Mother . . . She May Be The THICKEST RAPPER BM . . . That Is 100% SILICONE FREE!!!
Date: April 29
Wow.
WHAT THE FREAK???? NBA Superstar Chris Bosh . . . Is Having His BABYS MAMA LEGAL DRAMA . . . Decided On JUDGE JOE BROWN????
Date: April 13
Wait, what? HA!
BREAKING NEWS: A Woman Is ARRESTED . . . For Beating Up Her Boyfriend . . . When He Kept Playing That ANNOYING MACKLEMORE SONG!!!
Date: April 12
Happens to the best of us.
RATCHET CHICK!! Love And Hip Hop Star JOSELINE . . . Starts CRAWLING ON THE GROUND . . . And ACCIDENTALLY Exposes Her MAXI PAD!!!
Date: April 30
When keeping it real goes wrong.
Either Rihanna And Drake ARE F**KING . . . . Or Rihanna Is TRYING TO F**K HIM . . . Cause She's Behaving Very THIRSTILY On Instagram!!!
Date: April 29
What happened to no new friends, Drizzy?
TECHNICAL FOUL!!! We Got A Hold Of Some PICS Of GAY BASKETBALLER Jason Collins Playing . . . And That Move THERE . . . Looks SUSPICIOUS!!!
Date: April 30
C'mon MTO, you're better than that.
MTO SHOCK PICS: Have Y'all Seen What Raven Symone Looks Like Lately . . . She's OUT WITH IT . . . The Girl Looks Like A FULL BLOWN LEZZY
Date: April 21
It's a fact of life: Hater's gonna hate.
Speaking Of NOSE JOBS . . . We've Got BEFORE And AFTER Pics Of Actress KERRY WASHINGTON . . . Which Nose Do You Like Better Her NATURAL One . . . Or The One SHE BOUGHT???
Date: April 29
Good journalism should always asks questions.
THIS IS SAD!!! There Should Be A NEW LAW . . . So They STOP MAKING RATCHET OUTFITS LIKE THIS . . . In TODDLER Sizes!!!
Date: April 29
SAVE THE KIDS!
YIKES!!! The Millionare Matchmaker Chick Lost A BUNCH OF WEIGHT . . . So She Wore A TWO PIECE Bikini To The Beach . . . BIG MISTAKE!!
Date: April 28
Oh boy. That's not goof for anybody.
NOOOOOOOOO!!! Ladies . . . We Never Thought We'd EVER Say This . . . But R&B Singer TREY SONGZ . . . Is NO LONGER CUTE!!
Date: April 28
More like a downgrade.
SHOCK PICS: Gabourey 'PRECIOUS' Sidibe Is LIGHTENING HER SKIN . . . And Now She's Wearing A BLONDE WIG!!
Date: April 26
No, Gaby, nooooooo.
We Got Pics Of CHINESE SUPERSTAR NBA Baller JEREMY LIN . . . And His Girlfriend . . . Who Knew Asian Girls Had AZZES LIKE THAT!!!
Date: April 30
Lin knows what's up.
YUCCCCCK!!! Superhead Releases A GRAPHIC New Video . . . Showing Her The Hairs On Her BOOTY HOLE . . . Being REMOVED!!!
Date: April 15
We really have to do better, people.
BREAKING NEWS: Republican House Speaker JOHN BOEHNER'S Daughter . . . Is Marrying A BROTHER WITH DREADS!!!
Date: April 24
Somewhere President Obama is laughing hysterically. #karma
MTO WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Dwight Howard Has His FIFTH CHILD On The Way . . . By His FIFTH Babys Mama!!!
Date: April 22
Too busy making babies and not playing basketball.
AWWWWWWW SH*T . . . The Struggle Is REAL Y'all . . . Look What HEAUX Are Doing . . . Just To Get A PAIR OF LOUBOUTINS!!!
Date: April 20
Hey, fake it til you make it.
LMAOOOOOOOO!!! Trinidad James Just PERMED His Hair . . . And Now He Looks EXACTLY Like . . .
Date: April 18
His perm is fresh, though. Word to DJ Quik.
NOT AGAIN!!! We Caught Beyonce . . . Wearing Her FAKE HIPS At Last Night's CONCERT!!! (She Needs To STOP IT With All These . . . PROSTHETIC BODY PARTS)
Date: April 18
Say it ain't so Bey? (Also: "Prothestic Booty Parts" would have been a much better headline. Just, you know, FYI)
CAUGHT CREEPING!!! John Legend's FIANCE Is Spotted Out . . . Looking VERY SUSPICIOUS . . . With ANOTHER DUDE!!!!
Date: April 16
This isn't going to end well.
NOOOOOOOOO!!! JoJo Simmons SPEAKS On Getting Kidnapped By Juelz Santana's NYC BLOODS Crew . . . JoJo Is Now Under The PROTECTION . . . Of NYC CRIPS!!!
Date: April 15
Can we all just talk about how ridiculous this is?
Remember That FEMALE RAPPER That Keeps Calling A$AP ROCKY GAY . . . Well Umm . . . How Certain Are We That She Was BORN A 'FEMALE'
Date: April 14
Hmmmm. You don't say?
Rihanna Takes Some SEXY PICS . . . With Some OTHER DUDE That Ain't Named Chris Brown!!!!
Date: April 25
So basically it's a Wednesday night for Rih Rih.
NUH UHHHHHHHHHH!!! Keyshia Cole Showed Off Her NEW STYLE . . . And The Chick Looks Like A GHETTO SUPERHERO!!!
Date: April 13
UHHHH HUHHHHHHHHH
NFL PLAYER Kerry Rhodes Releases A New Pic . . . Of The LOVE OF HIS LIFE . . . But We Can't Tell If It's A MALE . . . Or A Female!!
Date: April 29
Oh, we what you did there. Clever.
HMMMMMMMMM!!! You Know That NFL Baller On The Ravens Who Is VERY OUTSPOKEN About Gay Marriage . . . Well . . . We Might Know WHY!!!
Date: April 1
Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Mary J Blige Is Photo'd At The BEACH With Her Husband . . . And Kendu Got BIGGER TIDDAYS THAN MARY!!!
Date: April 8
Love knows no body fat percentage, right?
NEW CELEBRITY IT COUPLE!!! Diddy CHUCKS DUECES To Cassie . . . He's Now Dating That VERY POPULAR Blonde Model With The BIG BREASTISES!!!
Date: April 10
The old, "It's not you, it's me" routine.
DAYUMMMMMMMMMM!! NBA Star Chris Bosh's Wife Got A D-D-D-DONKKKK!!
Date: April 8
A picture really is worth a thousand words.
OH MY!!! Actress EVA LONGORIA Has A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION . . . One Of Her TIDDAYS Accidentally Pops Loose!!
Date: April 8
Slippin on her pimpin.
We've Got PICS Of That WOMAN That PRESIDENT OBAMA Was Flirting With . . . And Look At The BODY LANGUAGE Between The Two Of Them . . . Michelle It's Time To STEP IN AND GET YOUR MAN!!!!
Date: April 6
Nah, ain't nobody got time for that.
DIDDY BROKE???? One House Was FORECLOSED . . . ANOTHER He Hasn't Paid His Mortgage In ALMOST 3 Years . . . And He Got A Credit Card IN COLLECTIONS!!!
Date: April 6
This can't be life.
WHAT THE F*CK????? Justin Beiber Is Photo'd Hugging WILL SMITH'S SON . . . And He's GRABBING Jaden'ss Butt . . . And SQUEEZING!!
Date: April 2
Bieber's got the fever.
OH NO!!! Remember The FATHER Who Beat His Daughters For TWERKING . . . Well They LOCKED HIM UP!!! (Did He DESERVE IT)
Date: April 5
It was ll good just a week ago.
Will Smith And Jada Pinkett Were Out Yesterday . . . They Both Looked GREAT . . . But Jada's FACE . . . Was A Little FRAUDULENT LOOKING!!!
Date: April 4
Fraudulent, though? LMAO.
A REAL Rich Person BLAST KIM KARDASHIAN . . . Dude Is Worth $55 BILLION . . . And Is Calling Kim A 'PEASANT'!!!
Date: April 4
Men lie, women lie, numnbers don't.
You'll NEVER GUESS Which FEMALE Celebrity MAGIC JOHNSON'S Son Used To Date . . . Before He Started WEARING DRESSES!!! (Pics Of Him ON A DATE . . . With A GIRL)
Date: April 2
Be nice, MTO. Be nice.
OH MY GAWWWWWWWWD!!! Remember That Kid McCauley Culkin From The Movie HOME ALONE . . . Well Now He's PRACTICALLY A TRANNEY!!!
Date: April 1
The silver lining: It's all uphill from here.
WHAT THE FREAK???? Diddy's Babys Mother Kim Porter . . . Is Alleged To Have DONE COCAINE . . . And Giving It To Her TWIN DAUGHTERS!!!
Date: April 11
How not to parent.