Image via Complex Original
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The Illuminati is an occult society founded in 1776 in Bavaria that’s allegedly bent on taking over the world. Its founder, the German philosopher Adam Weishaupt, may be long gone, but it’s believed that he has loyal followers, those who will achieve his goals of creating a secret society for like-minded free-thinkers, overthrowing the status quo, and establishing a New World Order.
Who better to do that than adorable child actors? Child stars, especially the ones from The Mickey Mouse Club, a 1950s Disney television show that was revived in the '70s and then again in the early '90s, are so cute that they would never be picked in a lineup of Illuminati suspects. Its the perfect guise for world domination. And the thing about the kids of The Mickey Mouse Club is that many of them grew up to be ridiculously good-looking adult stars. Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, and Britney Spears are just some of the famous people who got their starts on The Mickey Mouse Club and now dominate the pop culture landscape (and the world?!?).
Below are 10 super legit, highly scientific reasons why those The Mickey Mouse Club hoodwinked us by sending perfect-looking humans out into the world that will one day rule us all.
2.If this doesn’t look like the New World Order, we don’t know what does.
The Mickey Mouse Club was a variety television show started by Walt Disney in 1955. It featured a cast of smiling, vaguely creepy looking kids, who faced different obstacles in each episode and escaped using their wits or the advice of their elders. Obeying a higher power is a core tenet of the Illuminati, so the show was basically indoctrinating viewers all over the world to step in line.
The host of the original 1950s version of the show, Jimmie Dodd, also guided the kids towards upright moral and/or fashion choices, like the entire cast wearing those Mickey Mouse ears. Holler if you hear me—and want to go out and quietly proselytize for the cause.
3.Walt Disney, the founder of 'The Mickey Mouse Club,' is believed to be connected to the Illuminati.
If there was ever a covert way to send subliminal messages out into the world, it would be through cartoons, and it seems there was no end to the propagandizing ol' Walt snuck into his work. What, you think it's a coincidence that Donald Duck's voice can only be understood by children, dogs, and people with the secret Happy Meal Skull and Bones decoder headphones? Sure, Goofy is just a dimwitted dog. Yup, just a dimwitted dog who wears white gloves and a turtleneck. Let's not even get started with Fantasia (shouldn't we all have self-cleaning brooms by now?). And don't think the messages have stopped just because Walt's shuffled off to his cryogenic man cave beneath the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland. The Lion King? Try watching it backward while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon (that album cover tho). Once your migraine subsides and you can see out of both eyes again, try covering one eye with your hand and see if your vision doesn't actually improve.
4.Sending perfect child actors out into the world is the best way to win over the minds of America.
The 1950s show and the 1970s revival did OK in terms of world domination, but the 1990s reboot really puts the all-seeing eye on top of the pyramid. The All-New Mickey Mouse Club, the name of the '90s program, gave us child actors who would turn into international superstars: Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Ryan Gosling, and more. You thought they were just pop stars and really, really good-looking actors, but no—they have been working towards a New World Order. Seriously, what's in that notebook Ryan? Ooops, you did what again Brit? Manipulated stock futures? And why are you bringing sexy back JT? Where did it go? Bavaria perhaps?
5.Justin Timberlake is totally sending a message to his Illuminati compatriots in the "Mirrors" music video.
Justin Timberlake was a Mouseketeer, a member of the show, from 1993-95. In 2013, he released the song "Mirrors" with a music video that includes a hand-eye symbol. It’s the sign of the all-seeing eye, or another way of saying 666. It's also a symbol strongly associated with the Illuminati. When Justin makes this symbol in his "Mirrors" music video, it's not just the absence of a strong creative director on set, or a case of the classic “I don’t know what to do with my hands." We all know he's a better dancer than that.
6.And JT's friends with some powerful people.
Look, Jay-Z has long been rumored to be a terrible kisser the leader of the Illuminati. So Justin’s collab with the hip-hop superstar is not only the meeting of two very talented, very wealthy musical minds, but a strategic consolidation of power.
In 2013, Jay Z and JT (the Illuminati values cohesion) released a song together called "Holy Grail" off an album called Magna Carta Holy Grail. That should be reason enough to doubt them when they deny being in the Illuminati (WHICH THEY HAVE NEVER DONE, BTW), but then you listen to the chorus: "And baby it's amazing I'm in this maze with you, I just can't crack your code." This is a little thing called "hiding in plain sight" people.
7.Britney is definitely in cahoots with the Illuminati, too.
She said it first: "I'm not that innocent."
A Mouseketeer from 1993-95, Britney was all about overt pledges of allegiance in her early music: “I'm a Slave 4 U,” "...Baby One More Time," "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" (what are you then?).
But as damning as her early and mid-career hits are, conspiracy theorists argue that her most occult work was “Ooh La La,” the song she wrote for the Smurfs 2 movie. There’s nothing like little blue guys roaming the Earth as a metaphor for a super secret society bent on taking over the world, right?
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9.Ryan Gosling is good-looking enough to make us believe anything.
Hey girl, let me tell you about the New World Order.
Could Gosling, who was on The All-New Mickey Mouse Club from 1993-95, really be anything but a vessel for subliminal messaging? Those eyes. That six pack. Also, that facial hair. Dead giveaway.
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11.Christina Aguilera is channeling some seriously weird shit in Bionic.
Xtina is the Mickey Mouse Club alum who is least concerned with not appearing like she’s just come from a demonic ritual. Illuminati truthers believe her 2010 hit “Not Myself” was actually a thinly veiled cry for help against the mind control games she underwent as an Illuminati pawn.
12.She also held one of the highest seats of power in all the land.
Xtina is also a judge on The Voice, which is nothing if not a platform for subliminal messaging. (The message: Pharrell just likes to wear hats, please leave him alone.)
Also: Look at that chair and tell me it wasn't airlifted from a castle in the Alps.
13.'Mickey Mouse Club' alums are also conquering the world of television.
Often forgotten Mickey Mouse Club kid Keri Russell starred in the hit series Felicity, about a high school grad who moves across the country to follow her crush to college. The show’s tagline was “She's about to make the biggest mistake of her life,” but little did producers know that Russell had already made it, by getting involved with this diabolic secret society. Russell has since made a resurgence on the show The Americans, where she plays a KGB spy posing as an American—a covert identity that's probably not such a stretch.
Nikki DeLoach, another MMC grad, also stars in MTV’s Awkward. Which is all part of the master plan to win over the small subset of people who watch MTV’s Awkward.