Image via Complex Original
Whether you’re a psychopath seeking to shut down your nervous system at an early age, or a low-key cinephile that gets lost in the world of make believe, theme parks offer an escape. For a week, a day or even a couple of hours, theme parks remove us from reality and the really good ones make us remember what a world without Outlook reminders is like. Theme parks have become a staple of American culture since Disneyland’s inception in 1955, and Los Angeles offers an enhanced backdrop in that it’s already pretty far removed from reality. Prepare to leave your worries behind, even if it’s only for the duration of this list of the 10 Best Theme Parks In The L.A. Metro Area.
Disneyland
City: Anaheim
Address: 1313 Disneyland Dr.
Website: disneyland.com
You know the name, you knew it was going to make the list, so let’s get into the reasons your L.A. amusement list should include the incomparable brainchild of Walt Disney, Disneyland. Disneyland is the only theme park constructed under the supervision of the Don himself, Walt Disney. Since opening in 1955 during a live television even, Disneyland has raked in the largest cumulative attendance of any amusement park and welcomes close to 16 million visitors annually. What Disneyland lacks in anxiety inciting rides, it more than makes up for in an almost frightening immersive experience. Walt Disney was nothing if not exacting and not only does Disneyland have an overall theme derived from its characters, but each section of the park has its own calling card. There’s the science and innovation themed Tomorrowland, Mickey’s Toontown which is hopefully self-explanatory, Fantasyland which revolves around Peter Pan and King Arthur and not adult movies and Frontierland which recreates the wild west. Even if you’re not a fan of the Disney conglomerate, you've got to respect how thoroughly detailed their flagship park is. We’d list the rides and attractions, but this isn’t a PhD thesis. You know what you’re getting into with Disney and know that Disneyland is definitely a worth a visit.
Disney California Adventure
City: Anaheim
Address: 1313 Disneyland Dr.
Website: disneyland.com
Once the neglected step-child, Disneyland California Adventure is located a stones throw away from Disneyland and has been staking its claim in the Disney lineage following a billion dollar 2007 renovation. The park opened in 2001 and was intended to celebrate the glory of all that is California, including its land, its stories and its people—there was only one problem, people didn’t care. Attendance was sluggish, a facelift ensued and now Disneyland California Adventure is worth your while. What changed? The park returned to its bread and butter, creating intricate themed worlds with the rides to match. Namely Cars Land has been the selling point of the remixed Disneyland California Adventure which recreates Radiator Springs from the Pixar (owned by Disney) film, Cars. Basically Disney execs got it really wrong going the route of California culture and really right pimping the popularity of Pixar with renovated sects for Toy Story, Monsters, Inc. and the aforementioned Cars. Here’s to hoping an homage to Up! is in the works complete with float-away house.
Knott's Berry Farm
City: Buena Park
Address: 8039 Beach Blvd.
Website: knotts.com
Knott’s Berry Farm is a hometown favorite in L.A. as it offers high flying, death defying thrill rides yet also has robust ride offering for kids. Wait times are usually diminished at Knott’s Berry compared to the other big name parks in the city. Knott’s Berry Farms checks all the boxes that your go-to amusement park should. They’ve got live entertainment in the form of stunt, comedy and music shows. They’ve got dining options to appease the palette that extends beyond hot dogs and cotton candy. They also boast a built out section for kids and families and they’ve got just enough of an edge to keep thrill seekers coming back. But Knott’s Berry Farm hangs its hat where not every theme park is daring enough to venture, an incredibly scary Halloween experience appropriately dubbed Knott’s Scary Farm. Knott’s Scary Farm is not characters reenacting the Thriller music video—and it’s not to be trifled with. Children under 13 are not admitted and even the online micro-site is probably going to give me nightmares. Over 1,000 monsters are on hand during select nights in Fall, so plan a trip if you dare…
Six Flags Magic Mountain
City: Valencia
Address: 26101 Magic Mountain Parkway
Website: sixflags.com
Since 1979, Six Flags Magic Mountain has been scaring the pants off teens and adults alike with the highest concentration of coasters in California. Sure there are themed areas and shows for kids to partake, but let’s be real—you’re going to Six Flags Magic Mountain for the G-forces rides and the adrenaline rush. The lore the intensity of the rides at Six Flags Magic Mountain has spread far and wide, and a successful completion of the circuit of coasters has become a right of passage for L.A. teenagers. With selling points like the world’s largest vertical loop, the ability to accelerate 0-104 MPH in seven seconds and “pre-determined somersaulting” you already know this place is not for the faint of stomach. If thrills is what you seek, ditch the mouse and get ready for an all-day exercise in aerodynamics.
Universal Studios Hollywood
City: Universal City
Address: 100 Universal City Plaza
Website: universalstudioshollywood.com
More than an amusement park, Universal Studios Hollywood is an actual movie studio, duh. Since its inception Universal Studios has been open to the public through visits and tours as a way to lift the veil of big Hollywood movie production and allow the masses to strengthen their ties with the studio. As Universal developed into the conglomerate it is today, the tour has burgeoned into a fully fledged theme park which contributes to Universal’s bottom line. Now that the history lesson is out of the way, allow us to proceed with the attractions. Minted in 1964, the studio tour has been the backbone of Universal since the beginning and features a King Kong, JAWS and Earthquake visits that are touted as potentially too intense for young children which the nine-year-old me can attest to. Other park mainstays are a 4D Shrek film, a Simpsons ride which posits park-goers in Springfield and the Jurassic Park water ride which ends with an 84-foot plunge as you narrowly escape the clothes of all sorts of pre-historic badasses. Newer attractions include a Revenge of the Mummy indoor roller coaster, and a Transformers ride which seats you within a transformers automobile ready for a ruckus. Universal Studios blurs the line between an educational trip to a functioning movie studio and a completely non-education, raise the hairs on the back of your neck theme park which makes it one of the top grossing theme parks in America. If theme parks are your thing, plan a day at Universal and don’t forget to say what up to Beetlejuice, Optimus Prime, Bart, Shrek and Donkey who are all roaming the park daily.
Pacific Park
City: Santa Monica
Address: 380 Santa Monica Pier
Website: pacpark.com
Pacific Park at the Santa Monica Pier is one of the most storied amusement parks in America, occupying a culturally significant place in history, I mean it was featured on 90210 (the original). Originally erected in 1909 as a way to transport sewage beyond the breaking waves, the Santa Monica Pier has withstood the test of time. In addition to ocean fishing, restaurants and all-around wholesome family fun, the Santa Monica Pier boasts the iconic Pacific Park which in itself boasts the only solar powered Ferris wheel in the world. In addition to the iconic Ferris wheel Pacific Park is the perfect place to take out L.A. road rage with its own bumper car hall or speed around the entire park on the 55-foot steel coaster. There is also a pendulum swinging pirate ship that casts out over the ocean and a number of scaled down rides for young ones. While Pacific Park may not be the hair-raising, whiplash inducing, intestine entwining experience some are looking for in a roller coaster wrought park it does provide one of the picturesque backdrops of any amusement park in the Pacific Ocean which is not a feature to overlook, especially at sunset…with a significant other…are we making our point?
Castle Park
City: Riverside
Address: 3500 Polk St.
Website: castlepark.com
The homie who coined the term “fun for the whole family” had Castle Park in Riverside, California in mind. Castle Park is not going raise your blood pressure with rip roaring rides and that's a good thing because high blood pressure is you know, bad. What Castle Rock will do is provide you and the fam with a day’s worth of quality time riding mini-coasters, cruising classic tilt-a-whirls and some high fiber general merriment. With 20-plus rides all suited for youngsters, Castle Park is the low-key locale where you can eat lunch and keep it in your intestines where it belongs. In addition to kid-sized, classic amusement park rides there's an attached water park with a lazy river and shrouded lounges perfect for parents nursing hangovers in addition to kids. Also accessible on the grounds of Castle Park is a robust arcade, miniature golf course and daily magic shows all of which should ensure your young ones sleep well at night. So sit back, relax and let the attractions at Castle Park take over a day of child rearing for you.
Raging Waters
City: San Dimas
Address: 111 Lakeside Rd.
Website: ragingwaters.com
Balmy Los Angeles days call for the cooling comforts of the area’s best water park and Raging Waters is the reigning champ. From the name you can probably deduce where they hang their hat, but for non-natives we’ll explain. With over 50 acres of rides slides and pools, Raging Waters boasts more attractions than any other water park in the state of California. In addition to the lazy river and wading pool for children and geriatrics, there is a 36,000 gallon wave pool that simulates real surf conditions. After being tossed, pitted and pummeled by the wave pool there is the tunnel of terror which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like in a palpitating 40-foot drop and back-to-back vertical banks against a pitch-black backdrop. Other attractions include a seven-story drop/side, eight lane head-first races, five-man rafting over rapids and the coup de grace Dragon's Den which spins, twists and turns riders down a 45-foot drop while a dragon breathes down a menacing mist. If you're looking of rate excitement of a coaster park coupled with the derived from removing your shirt and shoes, you're looking for Raging Waters.
The Magic Castle
City: Los Angeles
Address: 7001 Franklin Ave.
Website: magiccastle.com
Forget coasters, rides and slides, The Magic Castle touts the paranormal as its draw. Founded in 1908, The Magic Castle is a lasting vestige of Old Hollywood that still hosts nightly performances by renowned magicians. On the surface, The Magic Castle might not appear more than an opulent Victorian, but within there are eerie corridors, secret passages and a stage dubbed The Palace of Mystery. In addition to hosting magic shows, The Magic Castle operates as a members club for magicians and patrons of the magical arts (we might be making up a term there). In addition to the courage required to set foot in The Magic Castle, you'll have to score an invite from a member as shows are only open to members and their esteemed guests. Start working on your slight of hand or cross your fingers and click your Jordans to see if the superstitious nature of The Magic Castle apparatus an invite for you.
K1 Speed
City: Anaheim
Address: 1000 N Edward Ct.
Website: k1speed.com
For the adrenaline junkie that's been jaded by the roller coaster shtick, there's K1 Speed in sunny Gardena, California. In lieu of the narcotic, speed, K1 Speed serves up European made, electric go-karts that may have you hooked like the aforementioned substance. K1 Speed is not to be confused with a sprawling bumper car course—it’s nothing nice. Boasting over 1,000,000 competitors served with G-forces that simulate the experience of pushing an actual Formula 1 whip, it’s no surprise it has become a hometown favorite. While you won’t inhale any exhaust, you will careen corners and vie for the checkered flag on an open track which has become a haven for those forced to endure the daily tortures of L.A. traffic. For the adrenaline addicted, there are weekly leagues and racing classes to hone your skills and stunt on your go-karting homies. Get ready to live your life-or at least your Saturday-a quarter mile at a time.