Image via Complex Original
The days of you and your crew chanting, "We out here gettin' money!" are dead and gone. Prices are rising, and your salary can't match this economy's fly. The semi-lavish life you've been leading has to end, but you're not sure where to cut corners. It's all about learning how to stretch your bottom dollar a bit.
Do you have to lay low when your friends are going out? Will the struggle plates outnumber the gourmet dishes at every meal? Will you be forced to abandon your favorite pastimes? Maybe. But keep it frugal for awhile, and you'll be stuntin' again in no time.
No need to hire a financial advisor to get your life together. We're about to give you some sound advice for free ninety-nine: Here are 20 Ridiculously Easy Ways to Save Money.
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20. Don't carry around a lot of cash.
You leave the house with a $20 bill in your wallet, but after buying some helado on the corner, getting a gyro from the food truck, and breaking off the b-boys on the 2 train with a little pocket change, that Andrew Jackson turned into Honest Abe in about fifteen minutes. With your spending habits, the more currency you keep on you, the closer your bank account moves into the red.
While you're at it, get rid of your debit card, too. You can't be trusted to stay away from ATMs. If you keep most of your cash under the mattress like a real baller, you'll have more to your name. Your pockets may look like rabbit ears out in the streets, but you'll know you've got the bread under those sheets.
19. Give time, not money.
Don't be in such a rush to add "philanthropist" to your résumé. Let Bill Gates handle that. Although the break dancing kids on the train consistently amaze you with their lockin' skills, you can't give them a dollar every time they somersault off the center pole; you see them 10 times a week. That's a value meal. When you hear the "What time is it?" call, just move to the other train car as to not be tempted to donate when their hats are placed in your face. Until you can factor daily donations into your budget, help folks out by volunteering and donating your time. Time is money, so don't fret, you're still on your way to sainthood.
18. Cancel your gym membership.
Paying a gym once a month to use their treadmills (aka moving sidewalks) and workout machines doused in other men's sweat is a waste. Mother Nature and your local government teamed up awhile ago to provide you with all of the exercise equipment you need. There's a park and some sidewalks in your neighborhood—start running. Cardio? Check. The flashing crosswalk lights are extremely effective for pull-ups, so that takes care of your upper body work out. Use the stairs instead of the elevator and feel the burn in your legs. Need more guidance and think a personal trainer will help? YouTube is the answer. See? Total body workout for free-99.
17. Pre-game with your friends and then skip the club.
Nights of debauchery don't have to cease now that you've decided to adhere to your new budget. If you can put in a few extra hours in the club by getting there before the door charges double, you're at the halfway point of cutting down your turnt up costs, but how about ditching the trendy nightclubs altogether?
We know you're a pro at pre-gaming, but make sure to do it at someone else's crib. Just get boozed up at your boys' house before everyone is set to head out and then feign a headache and go home when your friends go party. You'll have accomplished your goal of actually leaving your house during the weekend and getting lit, and done it all without spending any of your own money. If pre-gaming happened at your spot, you may have been expected to provide the spirits, and that's not how you keep your pockets deep.
16. Don't buy anything unless you have a connect.
If you have an acquaintance that works at a retail establishment you frequent, upgrade them to "friends and family" status. You have a bank of savings all around you that you aren't utilizing. The homie hook-up is invaluable when your cash flow is low. Make the right people your friends and you will never have to pay full price for anything. Get one of those Extreme Couponing ladies to adopt you as her son and you'll start to have stores owing you dough.
15. Stop celebrating other people's birthdays.
It's your boy's birthday dinner, so you go to show love. Once seated, you conscientiously study the menu for several minutes and decide that you're going to order water on the rocks (free) and a side of fries ($10 max.) At the end of the meal, the check comes and folks want to split the check evenly. Filet mignon never touched your plate and you refused that glass of sangria, but you're expected to pay for things you didn't enjoy?
Skip the "splitting the check" hassle and tweet your boy "Happy Birthday" next time. He'll retweet it—that serves as proof that you care—and you won't be responsible for sponsoring other people's indulgences.
14. Dump your girlfriend.
Hairs done, nails done, everything big, but not at your expense. Cuffig' season has an end date for a reason. The weather kept you and wifey indoors during the colder months, so you were able to keep more money in your pockets. Now that Spring is here, your girl wants to get fancy and order a large frozen yogurt with unlimited toppings at Pinkberry. She must think you came into some drug money. Sit your girlfriend down and tell her, "It's not you, it's the economy." She may not understand, but she's going to have to accept it. Just be mindful of when you dump her. The breakup might actually end up costing you more.
13. Find a signature style.
You may fancy yourself a dapper gent and take pride in all of the sartorial valuables in your closet, but times are hard. To keep a little more coinage in your wallet, gradually establish a signature style, a la Doug Funny, and keep it consistent. Stay fitted in chinos and a tee, or something else classic yet unique to you. This way, you can have the same pieces show up more frequently in your rotation, and it won't seem odd because you wear the same thing all of the time anyway. Regardless, please make sure you launder your apparel. Staying fresh isn't just about your appearance. Splurge on your hygiene routine. Please.
12. Keep the online shopping carts empty.
All it takes is a few clicks for your credit card company to call and tell you to "be easy." Online shopping seems to save you money, but these Internet merchants know exactly that they're doing. All you wanted was one strap back hat, but you can't use that 15% coupon code unless you spend a dollar more. There isn't anything on the site for just a dollar! So because your shopaholic self is so keen on getting a few dollars off one hat, you get two, spend nearly twice as much, and tack on the astronomical shipping charges to your order. Well played, dummy. Don't spend money at stores you can't physically shop in.
11. RSVP "No" to BYOB parties.
BYOB is just another name for liquor sponsor. Folks throw house parties, tell you to bring your own shit, and then expect you to come with enough to share with a bunch of other guests you don't know. You never end up truly enjoying the drink that you brought for yourself. Honestly, if folks can't afford to provide guests with alcohol, they have no business throwing parties.
10. Stay at her place more often.
You love your girl and aren't ready to let her go, but don't want your relationship to deplete you of your funds? Grant yourself a cuffin' season extension, but move home base over to her crib. Spend some time every night giving her massages and shit and you'll get free meals, free internet, and your electric company won't come for your checks. If she suggests moving in together, just say "no." Don't get caught up and start putting things in your name. Your girl will peep game real quick and expect you to pull your own weight. If things start to become too much for you, we've already suggested that you leave her. It's not too late to choose that option.
9. Don't host your friends.
Your crib is not a hotel or a bed and breakfast. The fact that your friends want to come to the city and engage in overrated tourist activities is far from your problem. Plus, you don't want to hear their whining about your lack of internet and your bare fridge. When you get the "Can I crash at your place?" call, kindly refer them to one of those travel search engines where they can name their own price.
Don't worry about burning any bridges; you don't have money to travel anyway. You won't need to sleep on their couch any time soon.
8. Steal Wi-Fi.
Every time you step into any establishment, you need to find the "Free Wi-Fi" decal somewhere in the building. If it's not there, leave. It's 2013 and if a company wants your patronage, they should do the right thing and offer you a way to browse the Internet gratis.
For those of you being extra cautious with how you circulate your money (read: can't afford the muffin/cup of coffee required to keep your seat), you have other options. Go to your friend's house and demand to know the Wi-Fi password while raiding his fridge. If you want to enjoy free Internet in the comfort of your own home, know that many of your neighbors don't lock their networks. Relax, it's not really stealing. It's the 21st century equivalent of borrowing a cup of sugar.
7. Cancel your cable subscription.
If you haven't already figured it out, paying for cable is a waste of money. You have a computer and you have stole Internet access, so why are you paying some cable company to watch your favorite shows, again? All you have to do is make nice with someone who has Netflix. If Netflix is a little behind in your favorite television programming, there are other ways to catch your shows, but they're only legal if you don't get caught.
6. Throw away the menus and eat at home.
The Chinese takeout spot recognizes your number when you call and your breakfast sandwich is ready for you at the counter when you step into the bodega every morning. Sound familiar? If so, you need to stop living life as if you have a personal chef. Now, we aren't suggesting that you can't splurge on fried wontons every once in awhile, but you know how to fry up some bologna and make a mayonnaise sandwich. Stop fronting like that wasn't your shit growing up.
Bonus: When you don't eat out or order in, you don't have to tip. More coins in the bank for you.
5. Break up with your barber.
Your time at the barbershop is an opportunity for some shit talking and male solidarity. You only let one guy come within ten feet of you with a pair of clippers in his hand; loyalty over everything. It's not just about clean shape-ups; it's about community. Visiting the barber is such a regular part of your routine that you don't realize how much money you're shelling out. Invest in your own clippers, watch some online tutorials, and give yourself a fresh fade once a week.
Don't trust yourself with sharp objects? Grow your hair out. Girls love dudes with long hair.
4. Puff, puff, quit.
Now that you've let go of your main lady, it's time to dump your jump off, Mary Jane. Giving up weed can save you money in a few ways. You're not buying it, so that's an obvious benefit. All of the time you used to spend smoking weed can be used to do something productive like making money. On top of that, no weed equals no munchies,which means more money for you. If you must enjoy a little kush from time to time, just make sure you're there when your friends are passing around the blunt.
3. Kick your sneaker habit.
Yeah, your kicks are fresh, but how clean can you keep them when you have to walk around everywhere? If your feet are decked out, and you're still a straphanger by necessity and not by choice, it's time to give up that hypebeast status. The floor-to-ceiling wall of limited edition sneakers in your bedroom at your parents' house is mighty impressive, but lighten your physical load and stack some cash by selling your beloved kicks on eBay.
In reality, you're not a sneakerhead, you're a hoarder, so stop lying to yourself. You know those Jordans will drop again in two to three years. Let 'em go.
2. Stop going to the strip club.
We know you love them strippers, but if you're on a tight budget, keep your bands in your pocket and watch twerk team videos online in lieu of visiting the strip club. The euphoric atmosphere of the strip club will have you throwing twenties instead of ones on the stage.
And you really need not be frugal at the club anyway. Those dancers deserve a lot more cash than what you intend to slide into their G-strings. Those ass cheek isolations are worth more than you can afford.
Don't worry that you're blowing your chance of bagging a dancer by skipping the gentlemen's club—the strippers don't love you back.
1. Become a homebody.
The best way to save dough is to keep your ass in the house. Since you've given up online shopping, you aren't susceptible to buying random things based on impulse. You're chillin' at home sipping your tap water and eating your fried bologna, so you aren't dishing out money on food. You're forgoing the cover at the club and you've saved yourself round trip Metro fare all because your ass is home watching twerk videos online and cutting your own hair. Keep this up for a good six months and you'll have enough money in the bank to stunt on everybody when you move out of your mother's basement.