Image via Complex Original
While we enjoy laughing at celebrity outbursts, it's best that we love them at a distance. It's all fun and games until they bring their ankle-bracelet-wearing asses into your zip code. The rich and famous forget that other people in the nabe would prefer to lead normal lives.
From loud sex sounds to strange, unwanted visitors, here are 15 Celebs Who Would Make Terrible Neighbors.
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15. Madonna
Likely offense: Creating earthquake like conditions in the building with excessive bass
She's an icon and all, but that doesn't give her the right to turn her home into the American Dance Theater. The Material Girl's reportedly pissed off her Upper West Side neighbors by voguing at all hours of the day to loud music so much that they took her to court. There's already enough noise in NYC. Why is this old lady still dancing anyway? You had a great run, Madge. Let it go!
14. A-Rod
Likely offense: Teasing you with visions of Victoria's angels; leaving you no access to your garage
The only way you'd be able to tolerate A-Rod's nuisances is if you were a die hard Yankees fan. Even then, one can only take so much. Rodriguez's 20,000-square-foot Miami mansion has been the set of feature films and reality TV shows, and with big productions come big issues. Not only do his neighbors have to deal with trucks and trailers blocking the road, but they have to watch as Victoria Secret's Angels shoot commercials at his waterfront home. Wait, why are his neighbors complaining, again?
13. Katy Perry
Likely offense: Informally introducing you to her partners via her orgasms
If her neighbors didn't already know who she was dating last year, they were undoubtedly clued in when they overheard John Mayer exclaim, "Your body is a wonderland, Katy!" during sex sessions. Perry can't seem to keep the volume down—reports say she played loud music and knocked boots with her now-ex Mayer at all hours of the night. We hear enough of Perry's voice on television and radio—no one needs to hear her hit the high notes at 3 a.m.
12. Gucci Mane
Likely offense: Assaulting you for wishing him a good morning when you see him in the driveway
Gucci Mane has a laundry list of legal issues. An understanding neighbor can overlook the drug charges. And who hasn't run a red light... or three? Gucci's issue is that he doesn't take to kindly to folks showing him love. If he broke a bottle over an Afghanistan War vet's head for asking to take a picture and punched a dude in the face for trying to shake his hand, Gucci probably isn't the type of neighbor you ask to borrow a cup of sugar.
11. Ted Nugent
Likely offense: Stirring up controversy and bringing the Feds to the nabe
Everyone has crazy neighbors. Hell, you might even be the wacko next door. But if your neighbor constantly speaks out against the government, and owns a whole lot of guns, you may want to consider moving. Case in point: Ted Nugent. His house guests include the Secret Service—'nuff said.
10. Mike Tyson
Likely offense: Serving squab at his summer barbecues
You never know what you're going to get with Mike Tyson and his unpredictability would be even more unnerving if he were your neighbor. You might come home to find a tiger loose in your backyard or catch the scent of his pet pigeons being roasted for dinner. Sure, his ex-girlfriend was the chef, but it was Tyson who chose a partner who has even more loose screws than he did.
9. Justin Bieber
Likely offense: Disturbing your morning runs with flagrant temper tantrums.
Lil' man gets a couple tattoos and he starts going H.A.M. on everybody. The pop star who still can't grow a mustache always seems ready to bust more than a grape in a fruit fight. With accusations of battery and threats to neighbors over sports cars, Bieber obviously hasn't learned to keep his disputes on the playground.
8. Naomi Campbell
Likely offense: Using technology to give you stitches
One can only hope that Naomi has put her violent past completely behind her, but who really wants to take that chance? She has a decade's worth of violent acts to account for and no one wants to take a smart phone to the dome on the way to the mailbox. Even if she's taken the fighting gloves off, her side-eye isn't a look of neighborly love.
7. Donald Trump
Likely offense: Turning housing association meetings in to Birthers gatherings
Donald Trump would be cool to live next to if he occupied his time with important things like using his wealth to fix that tired coiffure of his. Instead, he'll be pestering you about your birth certificate and crying as he weeps over his Twitter mentions.
6. Honey Boo Boo
Likely offense: Keeping you up when she's beasting off the "go go juice"
Honey Boo Boo is cute, her parents keep it real, and of all the reality TV show families, they seem to have their shit together—at least in terms of positivity. So, why would the Thompson family make for terrible neighbors? "Go Go Juice," Mama's special concoction that's equals parts Red Bull and Mountain Dew, will have Honey Boo Boo bouncing off of the walls and into your yard.
5. The Kardashians
Likely offense: Dismantling the image of the all-American family
If the Brady Bunch wore haute couture, Marcia and Jane only dated black athletes, and Mike Brady was consistently emasculated by Carol, they still wouldn't be as annoying as the Kardashians. Though you would get to see Yeezy in the neighborhood, it wouldn't make up for the nuisance the Kardashian clan would continually be. Miami residents would not co-sign Kim and Kourtney moving into their hood. If the raucous folks in Miami didn't want to put up with two of 'em, there's no way the whole tribe would make for a pleasant addition to the community.
4. Dennis Rodman
Likely offense: Having U.S. enemies over for dinner parties.
Rodman likes to get in bed with the enemy; he's became bosom buddies with King Jong-Un. No shade to Kim, but it's not as though the leader has so much love for the red, white, and blue. Until Rodman can make nice with some US allies, he needs to stay abroad and not move in next door.
3. Lindsay Lohan
Likely offense: Making you look like you photobombed a pic a paparazzo took of her
The Parent Trap-era Lindsay Lohan might have been cool to see around the cul-de-sac, but when Hollywood gets to these celebs, it's best to keep them out of normal communities. Ask anyone who's ever lived withing a five mile radius of Lohan. The partying is to be expected from a young starlet, but no one should have to put up with their community looking like Lollapalooza for paparazzi.
2. Charlie Sheen
Likely Offense: Disturbing the peace with booze fests and porn star orgies
Christina Aguilera is moving in next to the bi-winning actor, so she must be about that life. She has no reason to be concerned with the steady flow of adult film stars, booze, and drugs in and out of the Sheen residence. Nope. Right next to Sheen is a great place to raise kids. Give it a few months and Xtina will be throwing joint barbecues with the man.
1. Chris Brown
Likely Offense: Creating colorful eye sores that scare away the elderly, children, and pets
When Chris Brown feels the need to express himself, he's going to do it without regard to your feelings or preferred neighborhood aesthetic. Breezy could always pull out a pen and paper and doddle his little monster goblins instead of tagging his own house, but that wouldn't make his neighbors upset. He's been fined and the goons of the city council have given him fair warning, but he isn't paying them any mind. Let the neighbors' kids be frightened by the graffiti. What's a goon to a goblin, anyway?