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As the weather warms up, outdoor activities will slowly begin to trump watching television in your apartment. Music festivals, block parties, picnics, and people-watching on the stoop will alll become par for the course. And, while being in the presence of others is fun in and of itself, a drink (or several) doesn't hurt the situation. The law generally frowns on this sort of behavior, but where there is a will, there is a way.
There are a ton of wacky flasks and strange contraptions that can be used to sneak a few sips of booze in public, but if you just want to maintain your dignity and enjoy your spirits without legal interference at the same damn time, take note of these 10 Essentials for Drinking in Public.
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Brown Paper Bag It
For the public drinker who wants to keep it simple and represent for the old school, when you have the choice between paper or plastic, choose paper. Concealing your booze in a brown paper bag isn't a novel idea, so you have to be discreet when using this technique for drinking outdoors. People will know exactly what you're hiding, especially if you're with your boys on the stoop being loud and belligerent. Law enforcement is unlikely to look the other way if you're disturbing the peace, so don't use the paper technique to chug too many beers in one outing. Most folks will turn the other cheek and act like you're just drinking soda.
Drink White Liquor Out of a Water Bottle
Because people are brilliant, the clear liquor in a plastic water bottle trick was invented. Because people are stupid, this technique has been played out, so you won't fool many people by filling a flimsy plastic bottle with vodka. All hope is not lost for this technique, though. Step up your game and invest in a high quality reusable water bottle. The advantage to using one of these is that they come in a variety of colors, so you lushes aren't restricted to only carrying around white liquor. Additionally, the people who buy these bottles are typically serious about their health, so no one will suspect that you're out in the streets giving your liver hard work to do.
Use a Trenta-Sized Starbucks Cup to Carry Around a Bottle of Wine
At first it seemed a bit ridiculous that Starbucks released a 31-ounce Trenta beverage size (Bloomberg must have been upset), the over-sized cup is useful for more than just your standard shaken ice tea lemonade. You can carry around an entire bottle of wine with you in one of these things and no one would be the wiser. It it's white wine your sipping, it's easy to play that off as watered down lemonade. If red wine is what you're concealing, when asked, just tell people you got your Passion Iced Tea with a bit more passion and a little less tea.
Carry Your Booze Around in a Disposable Flask
Stainless steel flasks are a classic tool for disguising your liquor, but you're not fooling anyone carrying that around in your pocket. You pull it out to take a swig during a picnic lunch and you've given yourself away as a lawless lush. Since the general idea of using a flask makes perfect sense, instead of the easily identifiable steel flasks, opt for a disposable one. Fill your disposable flask with your drink of choice, act like your drinking an adult-sized CapriSun, and when you're finished, crumple the flask up and throw it away. Sure, they aren't as economical or environmentally friendly as just buying a regular flask, but they're a lot more inconspicuous.
Drink Beverages With Less Than 0.5 Percent Alcohol
If the taste of a beer is what you're really after and you're not chasing a strong buzz, you can always just drink alcoholic beverages with less than 0.5 percent alcohol. Legally, any beverage with less than 0.005 units of alcohol by volume is considered alcohol-free, so pour it up and have no fear of being busted. However, if your looking to get more turnt up, there's always a corner store that sells real beer and paper bags. You do have options.
Remove the Label
In the great city of New York, if a cop can't tell the exact brand of alcohol you're drinking, he can't legally prove that you were drinking an alcoholic beverage. So, really, you don't have to go out of your way to conceal your liquor if you can find a way to remove the label. This is easier to do with wine bottles, but someone tell the folks that handle the hard liquor to chill out with the intricate bottle designs and fancy shit, and give us plain bottles with a paper label. Make life easier on us public imbibers.
Let the Booze Company Conceal Your Drink for You
You just want to enjoy a day at the beach without the 5-O interrupting your fun. You also can't be bothered to empty out fast food cups and refill them with your liquor of choice. What options do you have? Well, something like Stack Wines might work well for you. They're super portable and because the packaging looks like stacked sippy-cups, no one will suspect your undercover wino activities. You can pop each cup out to share with your friends. Or you can have them all to yourself—no judgment.
Make Sure You Carry Around Some Cologne
A tell-tale sign that you've been boozing is the potent body odor you're giving off. Not the kind that poor hygiene and natural deodorants create, but the kind that comes from alcohol seeping through your pores. Of course you have to sweat it out and bathe to completely get rid of the smell, but while you're still out and about, you probably don't want to smell like you showered in lager that morning. Carry around cologne and give yourself a few quick sprays when you're enjoying your outdoor activities, so you don't give yourself away as the daytime imbiber you are.
Disguise Alcohol Breath by Popping Some Bentonite and Charcoal Capsules
In addition to making sure you smell fresh, you need to do something about that breath. Mouthwash helps a little, but all of the alcohol in it only encourages you to keep drinking. Chewing gum might distract people's olfactory senses for a bit, and stuffing your face with cough drops or aromatic foods could potentially do the trick, but if you want to really get rid of alcohol breath altogether, bentonite and charcoal capsules are the way to go. Your taste buds will hate you for them because they taste like shit, but at least no one will know what you've been up to just by catching a whiff of your breath.
Pick a Type of Liquor and Stick to It
Apart from concealing your booze or finding legal loopholes for public drinking, you have to be smart about your choice of beverage. Don't finish your Trenta-sized wine and then attempt to drink whiskey from a disposable flask after you just chugged a beer wrapped in a paper bag. If you're doing all of that in one outing, you need to reconsider your life choices. Moreover, each type of liquor comes with its own distinct smell, so you'll have a difficult time concealing your odor if you've gone through more than one type of alcohol in a session. Decide what the booze selection will be for the day and don't veer off the chosen path.