Image via Complex Original
The new film Into the Storm, about tornado chasers, is the latest entry in a long Hollywood tradition of movies based on weather. (Spoiler alert: It sucks.) All the sexy weather events like hurricanes and earthquakes have already been used in dozens of movies, so it probably won't be long before filmmakers start getting more creative in their efforts to bring us the weather-based entertainment we crave. Here's what we forecast.
Eric D. Snider is a freelance film journalist and comedy writer. He tweets here.
Sweater Weather
This romantic comedy is set on a crisp October day in New York City, a day on which two strangers will "meet cute" when a guy (Josh Duhamel) overhears a girl (Mila Kunis) say she's chilly. He introduces himself and gives her his sweater. They start dating and begin to fall in love, only to discover that the girl wasn't being completely honest that day when she said she was chilly: She just wanted the guy's sweater. Can their love survive when their relationship is built on a lie?
Moist Loins
This tense thriller, in the vein of 127 Hours, is about a Florida nudist who finds himself in a fight for his life when his sweaty dangling parts get stuck between the straps of a vinyl pool chair. Can he summon help before he gets sunburned? You'll need groin ointment after you see...Moist Loins!
San Francisco Summer
Everything is topsy-turvy in this surreal nightmare from an insane Chilean filmmaker discovered at Fantastic Fest. When an explorer stumbles upon the lost city of San Francisco on the hottest day of the year, he finds it...rather brisk, actually. Overcast. Like it might rain. Where's the sun? What's going on here? Nothing makes sense! People are wearing shorts and flip-flops and hoodies! What month is it? Cats are chasing dogs, horses are riding people, the explorer descends into madness, and more bizarre shenanigans!
Sh*tstorm! The Musical
Inspired by the success of Broadway's Urinetown, this musical takes place in a Midwestern town whose sewage treatment plant is hit by a tornado, resulting in the weather phenomenon of the title. As the sewage rains down, the townsfolk sing about their hopes and dreams or whatever, and it ends with a poop-festooned wedding. Songs include "Till There Was Poo," "Somewhere That's Brown," and "Don't Rain Poop on My Parade."
Smogma (original Korean title: Pollution Monster)
From visionary director Bong Joon-ho comes this creature feature about a filthy metropolis that's ravaged first by the effects of air pollution, and then by Smogma, the voracious monster that's conjured into existence when the smoky, rancid air is struck by lightning. Devouring everything in its path, the T-Rex-sized hell-beast terrorizes the city until a scientists find a way to destroy it: carbon offsets. But the legislation gets mired in partisan bickering and is killed in committee, forcing everyone into the claws of Smogma.
Cloudy With a Chance of Slurpees
From the new film division of the 7-Eleven corporation comes this Footloose-esque animated adventure. The story follows a quaint, rainy New England town where convenience stores are forbidden due to an old grudge the mayor had against a Circle K that enforced (too strictly, he felt) its "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. When a brash young outsider comes to town and challenges the law, reminding people how useful and exciting convenience stores are—"It says 'convenience' right there in the name!"—the mayor digs in his heels. So the brash young outsider takes it a step further: Using dark magic, he summons the powers of the dark lord Satan to turn the rain into cherry Slurpees. Now the mayor will feel the sweet, sticky wrath of 7-Eleven!
Cool Breeze
On a hot summer day, nothing's more refreshing than a soft, cool breeze. Unless the breeze is carrying the deadly ebola virus! Then you close the windows, stay indoors, and pray for stillness. From visionary director and famous wind-hater M. Night Shyamalan comes this chilling environmental horror film about a city gone mad with heat, yet ever fearful that the slightest movement in the wind current could decimate the population. The cool breeze is more terrifying than any serial killer or masked slasher you've ever seen. Invisible. Unpredictable. Silent. Deadly.