Image via Complex Original
Intro
Michael Jordan. Magic Johnson. Larry Bird. Heck, even Shaq.
They are unquestioned, absolute legends, guys who are destined to go down in hoops history. And when NBA 2K12 decided to round up the finest legends for their recently released “Legends Showcase” DLC, hoops gamers around the world got excited.
But somehow, Visual Concepts forgot what a “legend” actually was. And no, that’s not a good thing. Instead of shopping for truly unforgettable players, NBA 2K12 tosses in a bunch of lesser lights from its NBA’s Greatest modes (think the backups from Jordan’s Bulls teams) and pawns them off as great, minimizing the greatness of a DLC that could have been, well, legendary.
Sure the cel-shaded court in the middle of Times Square looks great, and there’s nothing like streetball to bring back the good old days before lockouts and expansion teams, but Sleepy Floyd? Legend? Really? Guy couldn’t hold Jordan’s jock!
And Floyd, who averaged all of 12.8 points and 5.4 assists per game during his career, is hardly the only not-so-legendary legend in the DLC; there are dozens.
Not that we want to waste all your time remembering the dregs of the NBA. But we will give you our 15 most unlegendary legends in the supposedly legendary Legends Showcase.
TREE ROLLINS (1977-1995)
Tree Rollins (1977-1995)
The 7-1 Rollins played from 1977 until 1995, so we’ll give him points for longevity, but that’s about all this center gets. He averaged 5.4 points per game for his entire career, and he poured a career-high 8.9 a game in the 1979-1980 season, which ranked fourth on a pretty average Atlanta Hawks team that year. Yeah, yeah, he was nicknamed “The Intimidator.” No, we don’t care one bit.
PENNY HARDAWAY (1993-2008)
Penny Hardaway (1993-2008)
Sure, when Anfernee Hardaway broke into the league with the Orlando Magic back in the 1993-94 season, it certainly seemed like he was headed toward legendary status, but after three good seasons, knee injuries hit, and he’d finish his career with 10,684 points, which sure sounds like a lot, until you consider that Kobe Bryant has, oh, three times that many points.
Sorry, Penny, you don’t earn legendary status for trying and failing. Now, Lil Penny, on the other hand. There’s a legend.
NICK ANDERSON (1989-2002)
Nick Anderson (1989-2002)
Yes, yet another Magic man. Funny thing with Anderson is this: At one point, he actually had a glimmer of hope, maybe the potential to emerge as a star talent. From 1991-93, he averaged 19.9 points per game and seemed ready to play Scottie Pippen to Shaq’s oversized Jordan.
And then he missed – count em – four clutch free throws in the 1995 NBA Finals. And the rest, is well, history. For Anderson, that is, who slipped into NBA obscurity. Those free throw misses? Yes, they were legendary. Anderson was not.
DENNIS SCOTT (1990-2000)
Dennis Scott (1990-2000)
Legendary three-point shooter? OK, maybe we can give him that, because D-Scott shot .397 from beyond the arc for his career. Then again, there are a whopping 41 guys who shot better from outside than this guy for their careers.
So why is D-Scott in here? Well, like Rollins and Hardaway and Nick Anderson, he’s tagging along with Shaquille O’Neal’s young Magic team from 1993-94. That also explains this ridiculous amount of Orlando folks we have to start this list, and serves to underscore just how good that Shaq fella really was to carry such a group of average players to the 1994-95 NBA Finals.
ROBERT PACK (1991-2004)
Robert Pack (1991-2004)
Say this for Robert Pack: He got to travel the nation. The journeyman point guard played for eight different teams during a 13-year NBA career. He even played for the Denver Nuggets twice! All that traveling, yet he never once averaged more than 15 points per game over a full NBA season, and he finished his career with 4,921 points.
CHARLES OAKLEY (1985-2004)
Charles Oakley (1985-2004)
We’ll give the Oak man this: If there was such a thing as a “legendary role player,” this big burly tough-guy power forward would take the cake.
He played with the likes of Michael Jordan (real legend), Patrick Ewing (real legend) and Vince Carter (borderline legend who’s closer to being a legend than any other guy on this list) during his career and did all the lunchpail, dirty work, averaging 9.7 points and 9.5 rebounds per game. But can a supporting cast member be a real legend? Not in our book.
KENNY ANDERSON (1991-2005)
Kenny Anderson (1991-2005)
High school legend? Maybe. When Anderson was at Archbishop Molloy High in New York City, he was one of the most sought-after recruits in all the land. College? Certainly. Kid practically put Georgia Tech on the NCAA Tournament map. Pros?
Anderson’s career got off to a hot start when he teamed with Derrick Coleman on those early-90s Nets teams. But in the end 12.6 points per game, and 10,789 career points screams good-but-not-great player.
KENDALL GILL (1990-2005)
Kendall Gill (1990-2005)
The Charlotte Hornets wanted Gill to be a legend when they drafted him fifth overall in 1990, but alas, it never happened. Instead, Charlotte landed a solid scorer (13.4 points per game) who did little else. Gill was never anything more than a complementary player at his best, playing off Larry Johnson and, later Shawn Kemp and Gary Payton in Seattle. Legend? Um, we think not.
VLADE DIVAC (1989-2005)
Vlade Divac(1989-2005)
Divac was one of the best complementary centers of all time, playing secondary roles with the Los Angeles Lakers of the late-Magic Johnson days and later running with Chris Webber and Mike Bibby on those high-octane Sacramento Kings teams.
But for all his brilliance, he was never once the go-to option on his team, and he averaged just 11.8 points per game for his career. That’s legendary in NBA 2K12: Serbian Edition. Not in the real game.
VERNON MAXWELL (1988-2001)
Vernon Maxwell (1988-2001)
At his height, Vernon Maxwell was a super-streaky sometimes-sharpshooting two-guard for the mid-90s Houston Rockets teams. And at his height, he was MAYBE the fourth-best player on the squad, behind some schmuck named Hakeem Olajuwon (you may know him), Kenny Smith and a young Sam Cassell.
The guy shot .398 for his career. If we were building a game with a legendary can’t-shoot-straight-sharpshooter, we’d choose somebody else. Like that Allen Iverson fella.
SHAWN BRADLEY (1993-2005)
Shawn Bradley (1993-2005)
We’ll save the best – and biggest – for last (or do we mean first. Even we’re not quite sure . . .)
But meet Shawn Bradley, who is so unlegendary that he can’t even win as basketball’s most legendary tall guy. Nope, that honor goes to Gheorge Muresan (who, by the way, is also in the Legends DLC), who stood 7-7, holding a good inch over the 7-6 Bradley, the second overall pick in the 1993 NBA Draft.
Bradley’s not even the most legendary TALENTED tall guy. That honor goes to a certain Yao Ming, a potent scorer who more than doubled Bradley’s anemic 8.1 ppg average.
Ebenezer Samuel is a staff writer for the NY Daily News and nydailynews.com, covering the NFL, fantasy football, video games and technology, and a former contributor to ESPN the Magazine. Want to know what he thinks of the New York Giants, the state of NBA 2K12, or just about anything else? Follow him on Twitter @ebenezersamuel