Image via Complex Original
Regardless of the industry, you will find the natural phenomena of the groupie. Indeed, a popular happening, some may be surprised that it also occurs in the video game world. Not all game nerds are un-bathed, B.O. emitting creatures, so don’t think these groupies have low standards. If you attend video game conventions and are looking for some hotel, motel, Holiday Inn action, just follow one or more of these easy ways to get a groupie all over your joystick.
Date A Gamer
When all else fails, it’s time to go back to the good ol’ dating game. If normal folk aren’t your style, there are plenty of gamers out there looking to squeeze your love handles. Gaming dating sites connect gamers to find the Mario to their mushroom, the Zelda to their Link. Sure, you will have to go out together to a few comic book shops, or play dates before you get in their pants, but Isn’t a connection that will last longer than one night worth the effort?
Be Part Of A Successful Game
Although this is not completely necessary, it does help in skipping a couple of the steps -- if not all. A successful game means you have created something other people find fantastic. This can also mean you are rolling in cash. To some groupies it doesn’t matter if you worked in Q.A., marketing, development, or custodial services. Holding a big fancy title does help the possibilities -- especially if you buy them drinks all night. Either way, this is almost a guaranteed panty dropper. But be careful, at this stage groupies might want to bag you up and take you home to momma.
Don't Look Like A Nerd
To get to the high class groupies, you must look almost like a "normie". The way you present yourself to the world impacts on how groupies will perceive you. Running around in your Mass Effect T-Shirt won’t get you any premium tail.
Be A Groupie Yourself
Well, kind of. Following important people around is no easy task, specially if you want their attention. But once you are in the inner circle, you are well on your way to a groupie gold mine! By becoming a follower of someone famous, you score huge bonus points. You are what you eat and you are just as cool as who is around you.
Have A Website Or Podcast
Groupies love people who are self-important. When creating a show, you become part of the video gaming sphere, making you part of the exclusive circle if you work hard enough. You will get to interview the most famous and nerdy, get free stuff, and do a lot of work related traveling to press events and conventions.
Be Part Of A Guild
Everything's not lost If you lack in-person social skills. Groupies are usually gamers themselves and can often be spotted online. This is a great opportunity to be part of an online clique, also called a "guild". A guild is where you will find other socialy deficient nerds who create entire lives online. Here, you are able to become a gracious warrior or a terrifying demon -- depending on the game. Working your way up the guild ladder will score you much attention from all the 3D modeled groupies.
Look More Important Than You Really Are
Groupies don’t do research, they just take what they are given. By maintaining a popular appearance on the internet, groupies will flock your inbox. Attempt to gain more friends, followers, stalkers, or threats on your life. Nothing is more sexy than hearing, “Yeah, I just had to file 120 restraining orders”. Descriptions such as “Video Game Personality” or “indie game dev”, will do. So what if it’s not true, it’s a game after all.
Go To As Many Conventions As Possible
Although there are millions of gamers that attend conventions, if you go enough times, you will start to see the same people again and again. By then, you will have created a clique which makes you seem wanted, loved, and some what popular. Be sure to hang out in bars and convention after parties. You'll be a celebrigeek in no time.
Become A Professional Gamer
There is nothing more arousing than watching your soon-to-be-beloved holding a trophy with sweaty hands after hours of competitive gaming. Professional gamers have a lot of clout as they wind up on ads, TV shows, movies and become spokespeople to gamer centric products. This will guarantee you at least one stop at the hotel get-it-in.
Create A Game
Sometimes, one has to actually create something. Boo hoo! Thankfully we don’t have to actually work at an established development company to get the developer acclaim. Places such as Kongregate, Xbox LIVE, allow for people like us create and become published. This will require some time to learn how to create games, but it’s worth the one-on-one action. Get that notoriety and they will come.