Image via Complex Original
1.
There’s something really fitting about the fact that, the very same weekend as Cecily Strong’s “That Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party” returned to Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, the actual manifestation of this loathsome human being surfaced as well.
Modern Family editor and director Ryan Case spent at least three hours last night on an airplane sitting behind a person who was incredibly drunk, more than a little racist, and a huge fan of CBS programming. Fortunately, Case decided that the best way to capture this entire experience was to share it with the world via live tweet.
It’s a tale of love, betrayal, and forcible neck kisses. Basically, everything you’d want on an airplane.
We’ll let her take it from here:
2.
Sitting behind the worst person in the world.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
3.
She was watching Hawaii 5.0 so loudly in her earphones that her seat mate asked her to turn it down. Worst move he ever made.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
4.
She apologized in the loudest, drunkest voice ever "SORRY ITS MY 1ST TIME NOT IN 1ST CLASS" & hasn't stopped talking since.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
5.
I want to use mind control to make the flight attendant put tranquilizers in the double rum & coke she just ordered.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
6.
She keeps saying "I know David Guetta" in a prideful way.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
7.
I'm tweeting this so one of you will fund my defense team at my eventual murder trial.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
8.
You guys, she goes to Vegas all the time and her table is always next to the DJ.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
9.
After saying "MY ARAB FRIENDS" so many times she slurred "is that SO racist?" then kept on saying it
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
10.
She missed her intended flight and ended up here. She has a window seat and I'm in a middle. The universe has wronged me.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
11.
She invited herself on her seat mate's Vegas trip.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
12.
It baffles her that her seat mate doesn't drink. She's GRILLING him about it and sloshing her drink at him and I think trying to bone him
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
13.
"I feel like in Dubai every car I sat in is a Range Rover." - this girl
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
14.
She said "I have a very racist view of all Middle East." She's talking to a middle Eastern man, also mocking his accent.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
15.
After awkward silence following a particularly racist comment miraculously came, "anyways am I talking your ear off?" & trying to bone again
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
16.
She keeps trying to take his photo & claims he looks just like her friend who's GORGEOUS.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
17.
97th time she's asked "YOU DONT DRINK DO YOU?!"
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
18.
I refuse to believe this girl has any friends.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
19.
She's throwing business cards at him.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
20.
"Oh those are my Tom Fords."
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
21.
She thought she lost her shoes then whooped loudly when she found them as if they weren't 6 inches in front of her.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
22.
She just went to the bathroom. My greatest hope is she passes out in there for the duration of the flight.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
23.
I forgot the joy of silence there for a while.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
24.
I can hear her trying to beg the flight attendant in back for something, undoubtedly world peace. I'm kidding it's vodka.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
25.
Fantasizing about the part in the movie Airplane! where passengers lined up with weapons. She's back.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
26.
She just returned with beer and made her seat mates listen to a toast. She calls them "buddy" now.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
27.
During her time in the bathroom, she forgot if her seat mate drinks or not. Again.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
28.
She asked if he's ever been to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
29.
She said to him "ill take you. We can never be together but we'll be good friends." He has to be distraught.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
30.
Her Hawaii 5.0 is back on. May it lull her into the deepest sleep a train wreck has ever known.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
31.
Now she's cackling and clapping at The Mysteries of Laura.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
32.
She's taken control of her seat mate's TV and is making him watch The Mysteries of Laura.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
33.
She's listing all the things she wouldn't be allowed to do in her seat mate's country. She should go there if the list includes speaking.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
34.
She is taking 20 minutes to pay for her new drink. The flight attendant may rob me of the joy of this murder.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
35.
She's pointing stuff out to seat mate on the interactive map. "The only thing good here is Vegas."
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
36.
You guys she just slipped up and revealed she's been married before and is freaking out now in the aftermath.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
37.
Someone married her.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
38.
She just kissed his neck twice. Look out.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
39.
The guy in front of her just shouted at her. He's a true hero.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
40.
The couple in front of her are shouting at her. She's slurring "what is first class? I've never been on it."
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
41.
She called this guy's wife classless and "to shut the F up"
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
42.
She called his wife a bitch. I don't think I'll have to kill her.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
43.
"This is what the F happens when you don't fly first class." she shrieked.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
44.
The flight attendant is confronting her abt several complaints made about her and says if she has another incident she's calling authorities
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
45.
She's been asked to stop speaking
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
46.
Her response was "they're not on my level anyway"
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
47.
Then she muttered "bitch" and it's getting very real
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
48.
She just got yelled at so publicly.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
49.
She's incapable of being quiet, like a toddler but not cute.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
50.
She's confronting the people in front of her again with many "shut the F ups". I can't wait to see her in cuffs.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
51.
Police are meeting the aircraft.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
52.
"I'm not allowed to talk any more." she talked.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
53.
I'm starting to think Abdul won't marry her!
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
54.
We land soon and I hope I can get a pic of her in cuffs to end this saga.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
55.
I think she's passed out on Abdul.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
56.
We've landed. She confirmed with Abdul that he has her digits. Don't hold your breath, Nadia. Her name is Nadia.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
57.
She's trying to use her phone but she's so wasted she doesn't realize the flashlight is on.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
58.
God only knows what she's texting her "friends"
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
59.
A police car just pulled up.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
60.
Loud phone call. Surprising. pic.twitter.com/WzoK0ApyDy
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
61.
4 cops are with her now. 🙌
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
62.
The amount of empty Titos vodka bottles under her seat was CHILLING.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
63.
Abdul sits at baggage claim, naked and afraid, looking over his shoulder constantly. LOL
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
64.
I saw her kiss you, bro. To be fair though he RAN ASAP.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
65.
Not to be too Nadia about this, but I wish Abdul could have a stiff drink right about now.
— Ryan Case (@film114) September 29, 2014
66.
[via UPROXX]