'Tis the season to pay the piper, y'all...and by "piper" we mean "the taxman who pipes you out every April 15." So if you're expecting a rebate, send it our way (trees are expensive!)—and if you come out on the other side of the ledger, we strongly suggest you at least consider coming up off that check, lest you wind up like Method Man, who got his ride repossessed last year. According to the annual list of delinquent taxpayers released this past Monday by the California Franchise Tax Board, Pamela Anderson might also get a couple things repossessed if she doesn't come up off that $493,000 she owes the state.
At least she's smart enough to just focus on Dancing With The Stars and not comment on her lien. Method Man's original excuse that he forgot because he was high (which he's since angrily recounted) struck us as his worst idea since sticking with Def Jam. Read on for Meth and some other public figures who need to rethink their rationales...
'Tis the season to pay the piper, y'all...and by "piper" we mean "the taxman who pipes you out every April 15." So if you're expecting a rebate, send it our way (trees are expensive!)—and if you come out on the other side of the ledger, we strongly suggest you at least consider coming up off that check, lest you wind up like Method Man, who got his ride repossessed last year. According to the annual list of delinquent taxpayers released this past Monday by the California Franchise Tax Board, Pamela Anderson might also get a couple things repossessed if she doesn't come up off that $493,000 she owes the state.
At least she's smart enough to just focus on Dancing With The Stars and not comment on her lien. Method Man's original excuse that he forgot because he was high (which he's since angrily recounted) struck us as his worst idea since sticking with Def Jam. Read on for Meth and some other public figures who need to rethink their rationales...
Leona Helmsley
Year: 1989
Lien: $7,000,000
Excuse: During her 1989 trial for tax evasion, a former housekeeper testified that she had overheard the hotel heiress say, "We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes" Which is apparently why we've never seen a monocled dwarf lighting cigars with hundred-dollar bills.
Martha Stewart
Year: 1994
Lien: $220,000
Excuse: In 1994, the then-not-yet-ex-con (did you get that?) tried to claim that she didn't owe state taxes in New York because, uh, most of her friends lived in Connecticut. That's like saying your shitty album sales don't count because you're huge on the internet, word to every single rapper out there.
Wesley Snipes
Year: 1994-2004
Lien: $15,000,000
Excuse: Big homie Blade tried a few things: sending "bills of exchange" instead of money, and then when that didn't work, claiming that a section of the tax code left open a loophole that allows American citizens not to pay taxes. Now we see why he has such a knack for picking great movie scripts.
Al Franken
Year: 2003
Lien: $70,000
Excuse: The Minnesota senator blamed his accountant for underpaying his taxes in 17 states for money earned in 2003. Doggie, if you're passing the buck before you're even in office, you need to...well, you need to skip all that Congress shit and go straight to the White House!
Method Man
Year: 2004-2007, 2008
Lien: $32,799 (2004-2007), $52,503 (2008)
Excuse: What, do you not read?
Richard Hatch
Year:
Lien:
Excuse:Survivor
Ron Isley
Year: 2006
Lien: $3,100,000
Excuse: During his court hearing, Mr.Biggs asked the judge for leniency because of everything from a recent bout with kidney cancer to the fact that his two of his accountants had died. The judge chose to err on the side of logic and assume that more than two accountants existed in Los Angeles, sentencing Isley to three years and a month in jail.
Paul Hogan
Year: 2006
Lien: Millions
Excuse: After the Australian tax authorities enlisted the help of the IRS to collect its debt from Crocodile Dundee, he responded to their tag team (pause) by saying, "Come and get me, you miserable bastards." Good luck getting a guy who carries a ten-inch knife to pay up.
Marion Barry
Year: 2007
Lien: $277,000
Excuse: The most famous crackhead mayor ever claimed that he hadn't paid his taxes (after previously pleading guilty to similar charges in 2005) because he was expecting a kidney transplant. Not having one. Expecting one. By that logic, we've never cheated on our girl, we're just anticipating her dumping us.