Image via Complex Original
When done right, a quality roast can be one of the truest and funniest forms of comedy out there. It takes you back to the schoolyard days where the jokes were relentless and cruel—and they got even more relentless and cruel once the tears started to flow. Beautiful.
Tonight, billionaire blowhard Donald Trump gets what he deserves in The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump (10:30 p.m., Comedy Central). It's a choice we wholeheartedly agree with. Even though some of our favorite regulars like Jeffrey Ross and Lisa Lampanelli will be in the house, one of the greatest roasters of all time, the deceased Greg Giraldo, will not. Major bummer.
Still, the show must go on, and since we’re all in a snarky kind of mood, we decided to do a little digging and come up with the 15 greatest roast moments of all time. Just a warning, though: If you think you can’t stand the heat, stay the fuck away!
Gilbert Gottfried Roasts David Hasselhoff, Pam Anderson
15. Gilbert Gottfried Fits Multiple Jokes In Pam Anderson's Gaping Vagina
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff (2010)
Complex says: The only thing tighter than Gottfried using his jabs at both Baywatch stars to make fun of Pam's gaping lady parts is, well, we're not sure what, but it certainly isn't her vagina.
George Takei Roasts William Shatner
14. George Takei Treks Into Everyone's Ass
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner (2006)
Complex says: Gay sci-fi icon Takei, who played Sulu on Star Trek, had beef with Shatner, who played Captain Kirk, for years. And after this roast, a whole panel of comedians had had his beef too.
Jeff Ross Roasts Drew Carey
13. Jeff Ross Doesn't Respect His Elders...Or Drew Carey
Roast: Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Drew Carey (1998)
Complex says: As a young whippersnapper, Jeff Ross wasn't scared to go at the jugulars of the dinosaurs at the Friars Club. We're sure there was a nasty suprise waiting inside Ross' gelatin cup when he sat back down.
Lisa Lampanelli Roasts Gene Simmons
12. Lisa Lampanelli Makes Things Hotter Than Hell For Gene Simmons,
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Gene Simmons (2007)
Complex says: Have you ever respond to a text with a "lol," knowing that you found nothing funny about what you just read. You have? Well us too. What does that have to do with roasts, you ask? Well seeing Gene Simmons pretend to laugh out loud while he gets his ass verbally handed to him by Lampanelli just reminded us of the "lol."
Don Rickles Roasts Ronald Reagan
11. Don Rickles Calls Governor Ronald "Reegan" Stupid
Roast: Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Ronald Reagan (1973)
Complex says:The always racially insensitive Don Rickles goes off on Reagan who took it all on the chin pretty well. Reagan also laughed hysterically at the black stereotype jokes Rickles told during the roast (kidding, kidding. We swear.)
Greg Giraldo Roasts Bob Saget
10. Greg Giraldo Treats The Full House Cast Like The Bastard Children They Are
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget (2008)
Complex says: R.I.P. to the great Greg Giraldo, who we lost last year and was a regular on the Comedy Central roast circuit. The roast of Bob Saget displayed one of Giraldo's best qualities: the fight in him. He wouldn’t let you jab him, without him swinging back. Before his segment starts, John Stamos⎯Or the dude who lost his wife to the fat kind from Stand By Me⎯says one little joke, and Giraldo blacks out on him.
Richard Pryor Roasts His Staff
9. Richard Pryor (Metaphorically) Fires His Entire Staff
Roast: The Richard Pryor Show (1977)
Complex says: As Omar from The Wire says: “You come at the king you best not miss.” In 1977 Richard Pryor had his own short-lived variety show called The Richard Pryor Show. The show was controversial and only lasted four episodes. At the conclusion of the show's run, the cast got together to roast Pryor. When they were done, it was Pryor's turn, and he went to the front and gave each cast member—including Paul Mooney and Robin Williams—a comedic wedgie.
Bea Arthur Roasts Pamela Anderson
8. Bea Arthur Telling Pamela Anderson Dirty Words
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson (2005)”
Complex says: Bea Arthur didn’t even need to come with jokes to steal the show. Arthur used Pamela's book to recreate a late night Cinemax movie scene. Truly the most fap worthy thing Bea Arthur has ever done (excluding The Golden Girls, of course.)
Stephen Colbert Roasts Chevy Chase
7. Stephen Colbert Nationally Lampoons Chevy Chase
Roast: Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (2002)
Complex says: Chevy Chase must have made a lot of enemies on the way to the top because when he fell, his fellow comics were there to throw more dirt on his ass. The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase is about as mean of a roast you’ll ever see. Throughout the slaughter, Chase just sits there with his sunglasses on, emotionless⎯looking deader than his career.
Lisa Lampanelli Roasts Larry The Cable Guy
6. Lisa Lampanelli Roasts The Red Off Of Larry The Cable Guy's Neck
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy (2009)
Complex says: As Roastmaster, Lisa Lampanelli's job was to basically lead the pack to the barnhouse. She proceeds to commit straight comic-on-comic crime on not just Mr. "Git-r-done!" himself but every other funny person in the room.
Greg Giraldo Roasts Larry The Cable Guy
5. Greg Giraldo Drags Larry The Cable Guy Thru The Outhouse
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy (2009)
Complex says: Giraldo ripping thru Larry The Cable Guy is the perfect mix of great comedic material, and genuine disdain for another comedian and his act. Even though funny, Giraldo sounded like a straight hater. We're just assuming he wish he could have gotten seven figures to wear overalls and roll in the mud with some pigs.
Jeff Ross Roasts Flavor Flav
4. Jeff Ross Lays To Waste Flavor Flav And His Vikings Hat
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav (2007)
Complex says:
In the middle of his set, Jeff Ross asked a important question: “How do you embarrass a crackhead in a Viking helmet?” Well after looking at Flav’s clueless, smiley expression, throughout this epic ribbing, we come to the realization that you can’t.
Stephen Colbert Roasts George W. Bush
3.George W. Bush Gets Roasted By Stephen Colbert And His Damn Liberal Media Bias
Roast: 2006 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner (2006)
Complex says: Stephen Colbert is a brave man. It’s one thing to publicly embarrass a president, sure. But to publicly embarrass a president who’s behind a administration that co-signs waterboarding and sending people away to secret prisons in Cuba—well, that’s just a special kind G right there.
Greg Giraldo Roasts Flavor Flav
2. Greg Giraldo Burns Flavor Flav To A Crisp
Roast: The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav (2007)
Complex says: Greg Giraldo shows no remorse. He cruelly compares Flaver Flav to ex-Ugandan dictator Idi Amin after coming off a five year crack binge. Ruthless. Why they do Idi Amin like that?
Jamie Foxx Roasts Doug Williams
1. Jamie Foxx Ethers Doug Williams By Burning His Conscious
Roast: Shaq’s All Star Comedy Roast 2 (2003)
Complex says: This clip should be illegal; it just isn’t right to have a public execution like this so regularly available. During the last five minutes of his career, Doug Williams gives a feeble attempt to make jokes at Shaq, when Foxx interrupts. Straight career killer. Just an assumption, but we’re pretty sure Doug Williams hasn’t Googled his name since.