Man Discovers Human-Sized Lizard on the Side of His Australian Home, Takes Photo

If you had to choose between finding this giant demon rat, this enormous rattlesnake, or this human-sized lizard, which of the lesser evils would you choose? Any answer that isn't "I'd choose to die" is a lie. In today's installment of horrible things to keep you from sleeping ever again a man in Sydney found a five-foot long monitor lizard hanging outside his house.

The lizard or "goanna"—just slightly smaller than me, making it particularly horrifying for myself—was spotted in Eric Holland's backyard. On Friday Holland told Sydney radio station 2UE the terrible lizard tale in an interview. Holland said he has usually seen "blue tongues" and "lizards" but this creature was a first. "A bloody big shock mate,"said Holland of finding the lizard. "I nearly trod on the bloody thing."

Holland said he saw the thing on the ground in his yard prompting him to head inside his house not to hide but to get a camera to take a picture of it until he second guessed himself. "I had a little reality check and I thought, Hmm, this is a bit stupid. This guy's a big fella. If he gets cornered, who knows what’ll happen. So I just backed off," he said. A nervous Holland tried to lower his heartbeat while inside. Suddenly a noise outside drew him out and that's when he saw the lizard scaling the wall, waiting to slide into his DMs house, spurring the photo you see above.