50. Gremlins (1984)
Director: Joe Dante
Stars: Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, Frances Lee McCain, Corey Feldman, Dick Miller, Judge Reinhold, Glynn Turman
The film's stars, which spawn from a mystical Asian creature called a mogwai, are loud, break-dancing little monsters who devour fried chicken at an unprecedented pace, destroy and devalue property, and even kill good white folks. But they're not meant to represent black youths, though. Definitely not. They're not nearly scary enough.
49. The Love Guru (2008)
Director: Marco Schnabel
Stars: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Verne Troyer, Telma Hopkins, Manu Narayan, John Oliver, Ben Kingsley, Stephen Colbert
Straight up, we love Mike Myers for his earlier work, but this flick was more offensive to Indians and Indian-Americans than colonialism was. Essentially this half-baked brick was just an excuse for Myers to line up a litany of jokes about Indian people's silly accents and spirituality. Guru Tugginmypuda? If you catch Myers with a red dot on his forehead, safe bet it's a laser scope.
48. Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Director: John Carpenter
Stars: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong
It's hardly an ancient Chinese secret that the most populous country in the world, with a cultural legacy thousands of years old, really only excels at doing laundry talking funny marshalling inscrutability and mysticism for untold evil. But you know what'll stop them? Knocking down their fuckin' Buddha statues. Take two Jesuses and call Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) in the morning!
47. You Only Live Twice (1967)
Director: Lewis Gilbert
Stars: Sean Connery, Mie Hama, Donald Pleasance, Akiko Wakabayashi
In the fifth installment in the James Bond series, doubre-oh-seven lives out the fantasy of every Spanish national basketball team member from the Beijing Olympics: he gets to marry an Asian girl in drag—and by drag, we of course mean having his eyes taped back so he can pass as an Asian man! We've got a couple Japanese homies who'd love to leave Bond shaken and stirred.
46. Chasing Papi (2003)
Director: Linda Mendoza
Stars: Roselyn Sanchez, Sofia Vergara, Jaci Velasquez, Eduardo Verastegui
Sofia Vergara, Roselyn Sanchez, and some other spicy Latina chick are all after the same dude in this glorified Telemundo drama posing as a feature film. The "lascivious Latin" stereotype may be played out, but, like a Telemundo drama, we co-sign just for the eye candy. ¡Caliente!
45. Falling Down (1993)
Director: Joel Schumacher
Stars: Michael Douglas, Robert Duvall, Barbara Hershey, Rachel Ticotin, Frederic Forrest, Tuesday Weld
Falling Down is a revenge fantasy straight out of Glenn Beck's id: violent Caucasian rage against Korean deli owners, Latino gangbangers, and whoever else that dares to disenfranchise the white male. Oh, white male. Poor you.
44. Adventures in Babysitting (1987)
Director: Chris Columbus
Stars: Elizabeth Shue, Keith Coogan, Anthony Rapp, Maia Brewton
When a lily-white babysitter (Elizabeth Shue) journeys to the ghetto to rescue a runaway friend who's stuck in the heart of darkness, she and the kids she's caring for encounter the full spectrum of black people, from car thieves to gang members, and even the kind that sing and dance! And they say Hollywood doesn't grasp the diaspora!
43. White Dog (1982)
Director: Samuel Fuller
Stars: Kristy McNichol, Paul Winfield, Burl Ives, Jameson Parker
A detestable hatemonger trains a white German Shepherd to attack any black person it sees—why wasn't this one a box office smash? Despite filmmaker Samuel Fuller's best intentions, sewing in a complex anti-racism message about teaching hate, the sensational plot (which no doubt gave white supremacists peckerwoodies) got the public so pissed off that Paramount Pictures refused to release it in the States.
42. Romeo Must Die (2000)
Director: Andrezj Bartkowiak
Stars: Jet Li, Aaliyah, Russell Wong, DMX, Delroy Lindo, Russell Wong, Isaiah Washington, Anthony Anderson
Ah, Shakespere's timeless love story Romeo and Juliet, updated for the hip-hop generation. With their two families feuding, a black girl (Aaliyah) and a Chinese man (Jet Li) find an unexpected bond—except for the fact that the couple didn't even share a kiss on screen, making the "love story" a bit of an anti-climactic joke. In fact, the movie originally ended with a kiss, but producers supposedly cut the scene at the last minute because it didn't "test well" with audiences. Damn. Can't the yellow man get some?
41. The Air Up There (1994)
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Stars: Kevin Bacon, Charles Gitonga Maina, Yolanda Vazquez, Winston Ntshona, Sean McCann, Dennis Patrick
The white man is back up his old tricks as an assistant college basketball coach (Kevin Bacon) tries to pry a tall African prince with star potential from his tribe to help him win some games. Despite his inclination to rape the Dark Continent, coach saves the day, resolving the tribe's potentially bloody conflict with a neighboring tribe and an encroaching mining company—by organizing a high-stakes game of basketball. Flagrant foul!
40. Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
Director: Peter and Bobby Farrelly
Stars: Jim Carrey, Renee Zellweger, Chris Cooper, Robert Forster, Richard Jenkins, Zen Gesner, Michael Bowman, Anthony Anderson, Daniel Greene
Gasp! Jim Carrey in a racist movie?! Sort of. We love this schizophrenic comedy except for the way the only black characters are portrayed. JC's three kids—Jamaal (of course), Lee Harvey, and Shonté Jr. (who knows?)—are supposed to be geniuses, except they act hood. Which is meant to be funny because, as we know, black people can either be hood or smart, but never both! Or as Harry Reid would say, they can either talk with a Negro dialect or without one.
39. Pulp Fiction (1994)
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Stars: John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Tim Roth, Amanda Plummer, Maria de Medeiros, Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Christopher Walken
OK, now this movie isn't racist, per se. That is, if you're watching it in a vacuum. As soon as you step back and realize that Quentin Tarantino is an insane fetishist who gets a sick hard-on for smooth talking black thugs and people of all walks launching N-bomb blitzkriegs like they can't ruin race relations fast enough, you notice how fucked up it is.
Right after that you realize that every character talks the same, like Quentin, who penned a special N-bomb assault for himself, and that's when you really wanna stab him in the face.
38. 3 Ninjas (1992)
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Stars: Michael Treanor, Max Elliot Slade, Chad Power, Victor Wong, Alan McRae, Joel Swetow, Patrick Labyorteaux
Let's get this straight: Three white kids, born of a white mother and father, spend their summers with their stereotypically crotchety old Japanese grandfather who teaches them martial arts. But not before they expect us to believe that "Tum Tum" is a real ninja name. Right. And Doughboy and Mad Dog were ancient African warrior names.
37. Billy Madison (1995)
Director: Tamra Davis
Stars: Adam Sandler, Darren McGavin, Bridgette Wilson, Bradley Whitford, Josh Mostel, Norm Macdonald, Steve Buscemi, Chris Farley, Jim Downey, Theresa Merritt
Grown-ass grade schooler Billy Madison (Adam Sandler) is basically retarded in this movie, but that's not why it's offensive. His horny, obese black maid, who would service his every need, from lunch to, um, other stuff ("Ah thought AH was yo' snack pack, Billy!") still has Hattie McDaniel turning in her grave.
36. Outrageous Fortune (1987)
Director: Arthur Hiller
Stars: Shelley Long, Bette Midler, Peter Coyote, Robert Prosky, George Carlin, John Schuck
Big scary black man? Check. Inadvertently saying something offensive because you couldn't help yourself? Check. Assuming you'll get raped and murdered because you're white? Check. What DOESN'T this movie have? If you've enjoyed any John Hughes movie that featured white people irrationally fearing for their lives when around black folks, you have this flick to thank.
35. Gung Ho (1986)
Director: Ron Howard
Stars: Michael Keaton, Gedde Watanabe, George Wendt, John Turturro, Mimi Rogers
Zany Japanese (including one played by Gedde Watanabe, a.k.a. Long Duk Dong, who you know is coming on this list) take over an American auto-manufacturing plant and bewilder blue-collar Yanks with their zany Japanese ways. (Funny accents! Chopsticks! Public bathing!) In the end, the Americans learn how to be über-efficient and the Japanese presumably learn how not to run a billion-dollar industry into the ground. [Squinty-eyed Asian laugh.]
34. Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
Director: Bruce Beresford
Stars: Morgan Freeman, Jessica Tandy, Dan Aykroyd, Patti LuPone, Esther Rolle
Proving once and for all that there's nothing quite as awesome as benevolent whites, Driving Miss Daisy shows black folk the benefits of being nice to curmudgeonly old cracker bitties: You get to drive them around a bunch, hip them to how your problems actually mirror theirs, let them teach you how to read, and, when it's all said and done, feed them pie in a rest home. Sweet!
33. Dragonball Evolution (2009)
Director: James Wong
Stars: Justin Chatwin, Emmy Rossum, Chow Yun-fat, Jamie Chung, James Marsters, Joon Park, Ernie Hudson
Whites have been playing other races for over a century now, so when casting came up for 2009's Dragon Ball Z release, Dragonball Evolution, of course execs cast white Canadian actor Justin Chatwin as the Asian protagonist, Goku. As if the white man didn't already have all the power in real life, now he gets to have powers in adaptations of Japanese manga series too!
32. Jungle 2 Jungle (1997)
Director: John Pasquin
Stars: Tim Allen, Martin Short, Sam Huntington, Jobeth Williams, Lolita Davidovich, Leelee Sobieski
A direct adaptation of the 1994 french film Little Indian, Big City, Jungle 2 Jungle changed the title but kept everything just as racist. Tim Allen meets the son he never knew he had, a 13-year-old who grew up native with his ex-wife and a tribe in Venezuela, and takes him to New York City, where his backward customs simply don't fly! It just goes to show, video games don't turn good little white kids into savages, brown-skinned savages turn good little white kids into savages!
31. 21 (2008)
Director: Robert Luketic
Stars: Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishburne, Aaron Yoo, Liza Lapira, Jacob Pitts, Josh Gad
A group of MIT students take Las Vegas for millions of dollars using their genius math skills—what an amazing concept for a smash hit movie adventure! Ooh, except for the fact that the real-life students who inspired the story were primarily Asian-American (including the story's protagonist, Jeff Ma), which must have made studio executives at Columbia nervous. How can American audiences possibly watch a movie about a yellow man? Somebody get a D-grade British actor on the line!
30. Major League (1989)
Director: David S. Ward
Stars: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Wesley Snipes, Margaret Whitton, Rene Russo, Charles Cyphers, Dennis Haysbert, Bob Uecker, Steve Yeager, James Gammon
Before becoming America's first Black President on 24 back in 2001, Dennis Haysbert played Pedro Cerrano, a voodoo-lovin' Latino power hitter with a shrine to the spirit Jo-Bu in this subtly racist sports film. In the end, he abandons his belief because Jo-Bu can't hit a curve. Bet White Jesus could though, right?
29. Bringing Down the House (2003)
Director: Adam Shankman
Stars: Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Jean Smart, Missi Pyle, Joan Plowright, Betty White, Angus T. Jones, Kimberly J. Brown, Steve Harris
White people can be so buttoned-down that they have a hard time enjoying life. Cue the arrival of a lovably sassy large black woman, who is at first an intrusive annoyance but becomes a magical soulful life coach who helps white people overcome their ramrod-straight repressed lives and realize that happiness is breakdancing. Well, breakdancing or nestling in between some pendulous matronly black breasts.
28. Black Hawk Down (2001)
Director: Ridley Scott
Stars: Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, Hugh Dancy, Gabriel Casseus, Ioan Gruffudd, Tom Guiry, Jason Isaacs, Tom Hardy, Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana, William Fichtner, Ron Eldard, Jeremy Piven, Sam Shepard, Kim Coates, Ty Burrell
Ridley Scott's account of the 1993 "Battle of Mogadishu" drew heavy fire for casting African-Americans, who neither look nor sound like Somalis, to portray them as an ignorant, extra dark (extra scary), bloodthirsty mob of villains with no legitimate cause to attack US Army Rangers. Well, they've got their cause now.
27. The Last Samurai (2003)
Director: Edward Zwick
Stars: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Shin Koyamada, Tony Goldwyn, Masato Harada
Like Dances with Wolves before it and Avatar more recently, The Last Samurai shows you can always count on the white savior to help preserve the native culture his people are destroying. Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) is a washed-up ex-military American drunk in Japan with no apparent purpose in life until he's taken in by a clan and lays his life on the line to preserve the Samurai way of life. Fuck a bow of courtesy, we feel like head-butting someone.
26. Aladdin (1992)
Director: Ron Clements and John Musker
Stars: Scott Weinger, Jonathan Freeman, Robin Williams, Linda Larkin, Gilbert Gottfried
In typical Disney fashion, whitewashed Aladdin is about as Arabian as the cast of 90210 (the original, before Beverly Hills even had brown faces), but what really got Arab-Americans twisted like a turban was "Arabian Nights," the original opening musical sequence, which stated that Arabia is "where they cut off your ears, if they don't like your face." And if they don't like your racist movie?
25. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
Director: Steve Oedekerk
Stars: Jim Carrey, Ian McNeice, Simon Callow, Maynard Eziashi, Bob Gunton, Sophie Okonedo, Tommy Davidson
In this sequel, Jim Carrey's pet detective, Ace Ventura, goes to wild-ass Africa to track down a white bat so it can be given as a marriage gift and prevent two tribes from going to war (you know, 'cause the white man has always brought peace to the Dark Continent). While on the job, Ace regularly mocks the rituals and culture of the tribes. Now that's more like the white man we know!
24. True Lies (1994)
Director: James Cameron
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Tia Carrere, Art Malik, Bill Paxton, Eliza Dushku
In this Arnold Schwarzenegger action comedy, the members of the "Crimson Jihad," an Islamic terrorist group led by Salim Abu Aziz (a.k.a. the Sand Spider, which sounds suspiciously close to "sand n-gger"), are seen as both bloodthirsty genocidal maniacs and inept morons. They'll definitely blow themselves up. Whether they manage to take anyone else with them is another matter.
23. Marked for Death (1990)
Director: Dwight H. Little
Stars: Steven Seagal, Basil Wallace, Keith David, Tom Wright, Joanna Pacula, Elizabeth Gracen, Danielle Harris, Danny Trejo
Steven Seagal plays a cop who confronts a voodoo priest, Screwface, and his Jamaican Posse, a cartoonish gang of dreadlocked drug dealers who have been shooting up the hood and stringing out school kids. After painting peace-loving Rastafarians as a snarling, dope-dealing menace—and putting out his horrific reggae album, Songs from the Crystal Cave—the ponytailed one can't ever show his face in Jamrock again.
22. The Green Mile (1999)
Director: Frank Darabont
Stars: Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, Bonnie Hunt, David Morse, Barry Pepper, Doug Hutchison, Sam Rockwell, Michael Jeter, James Cromwell, Jeffrey DeMunn, Harry Dean Stanton, Gary Sinise, William Sadler
Spike Lee was so appalled with Michael Clarke Duncan's turn as death row inmate John Coffey that he had to coin a term for it: the Super-Duper Magical Negro. Some disagreed, seeing the role as positive. But if Hollywood is to be believed, all black people who lived before 1960 were docile, bumbling buffoons incapable of doing anything but easing the lives of (and raping, let's not forget raping) white people.
Somehow, though, we doubt Michael Clarke Duncan cared about any of that as he went on to star as the head ape in Tim Burton's 2001 remake of that racially sensitive classic Planet of the Apes.
21. Heart Condition (1990)
Director: James D. Parriott
Stars: Bob Hoskins, Denzel Washington, Chloe Webb, Roger E. Mosley, Ja'net Dubois, Alan Rachins
A racist white cop (Bob Hoskins) inherits the heart of the black "lawyer" (Denzel Washington) who was banging his ex-wife before he was gunned down in a drive-by shooting. Denzel's character isn't a pimp—no, because that'd be racist—but his chick is an escort, he runs from cops with crack, and he has $200K stashed in a pipe in the back of a bowling alley. Oh, and he's unaware that he's a dad. A Spike Lee Joint, this is not.
20. The Siege (1998)
Director: Edward Zwick
Stars: Denzel Washington, Annette Bening, Bruce Willis, Tony Shalhoub, Aasif Mandvi, Sami Bouajila
While it seems to sympathize with Arab-Americans, who the US military rounds up and interns on Randall's Island after terrorist attacks shake NYC, leading to martial law, The Siege's real message is that the Middle Easterners who you least expect of wanting to kill you definitely have a belt of explosives in their wardrobe.
19. Dangerous Minds (1995)
Director: John N. Smith
Stars: Michelle Pfeiffer, George Dzundza, Courtney B. Vance, Robin Bartlett, Beatrice Winde, John Neville, Renoly Santiago, Wade Dominguez, Bruklin Harris
You may remember Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," the hit song from this movie, but what about Michelle Pfeiffer playing a retired Marine who becomes a teacher and saves shiftless, ignorant, minority students from their self-destructive tendencies? Best Teach America recruitment video we've ever seen.
18. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Director: Michael Bay
Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Kevin Dunn, Ramon Rodriguez
Transformers are an advanced race of alien robots who learn about human culture from TV and radio, so you might excuse twins Skids and Mudflap for their ill-behaved bickering, foul-mouthed jive-talking, gold-capped buckteeth, and illiteracy (maybe they watched Bébé's Kids or something). But director Michael Bay? Nah, that honky just loves black stereotypes.
17. The Gods Must be Crazy (1980)
Director: Jamie Uys
Stars: Nlxau, Sandra Prinsloo, Marius Weyers, Louw Verwey
We know this movie is supposed to be a comedy because that's what IMDb labels it as, but what starts out as a satirical look at the differences between "civilized" and "uncivilized" people quickly grows foul. In the first 10 minutes of the movie, a bushman from Botswana—a country with six technical colleges—is completely dumbfounded when a Coke bottle thrown from a plane (!) lands in front of him. So the flying machine was OK, but the glass bottle blew his mind?
16. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Director: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Jonathan Ke Quan, Amrish Puri, Roshan Seth
The Kali-worshipping Thuggees in Temple of Doom are the perfect "Other" bad guy: They have brown skin, exotic garb, and freaky religious practices, and most importantly, they commit acts of inhuman savagery that are, quite literally, heartless. And you thought Al-Qaeda were scary.
15. Scarface (1983)
Director: Brian De Palma
Stars: Al Pacino, Steven Bauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Robert Loggia, F. Murray Abraham
What's worse than having an Italian-American play a cartoonish Cuban gangster with a ridiculously over-the-top accent? Having everyone, including Latinos, think it's the coolest movie since Birth of a Nation. Now that's embracism!
14. White Chicks (2004)
Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans
Stars: Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Busy Phillips, Jessica Cauffiel, Jennifer Carpenter, Terry Crews, Jaime King, Brittany Daniel, John Heard, Lochlyn Munro
We would call this movie an example of reverse racism at its finest, but that would imply that we condone a certain type of racism, and frankly, it's all the same to us. So when the youngest Wayans brothers donned whiteface to crack some jokes at the expense of white people, we laughed. And laughed again when they sang some Vanessa Carlton. But that doesn't make it right. No, not in the least.
13. Sixteen Candles (1984)
Director: John Hughes
Stars: Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry, Michael Schoefflinf, Anthony Michael Hall, Gedde Watanabe, Haviland Morris, Paul Dooley
John Hughes' icon of '80s teen cinema is also an icon of American racism, thanks to the infamous exchange student Long Duk Dong. Played by Japanese-American actor Gedde Watanabe, the comic relief role had an entire generation of asshole white kids rolling in the aisles thanks to his drunken school dance antics, emasculating romance, and absurd bastardizations of the English language. We feel sorry for all the Asian kids who got called "Donger" for a decade after this movie came out. *Gong*
12. The Party (1968)
Director: Blake Edwards
Stars: Peter Sellers, Claudine Longet, Natalia Borisova, Jean Carson, Marge Champion
Yes, Peter Sellers was a comic genius. But did he have to rock bothbrownface and the Apu accent for easy laughs? "It's not about race, it's about laughs!" Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here.
11. Krippendorff's Tribe (1998)
Director: Todd Holland
Stars: Richard Dreyfuss, Jenna Elfman, Natasha Lyonne, Lily Tomlin, Barbara Williams, Gegory Smith, Stephen Root, Mila Kunis
Anthropologist James Krippendorf (Richard Dreyfuss) fools the scientific community into believing he's discovered a lost tribe in New Guinea with help from his kids, some makeup, a video camera, '90s video editing skills, and every indigenous stereotype you can think of. The more ridiculous the better. You know the savages don't make any sense!
10. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Director: George Lucas
Stars: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson, Jake Lloyd, Ray Park, Terrence Stamp, Silas Carson, Samuel L. Jackson, Keira Knightley
Toward the end of the first Star Wars trilogy, George Lucas developed a penchant for characters that were more like Muppets than fully fleshed-out characters (i.e., Jabba, Salacious Crumb, the Ewoks). So when it was time to bring back the sci-fi universe, he did himself one better, and developed a penchant for jaw-dropping ethnic stereotypes. From the bumbling carefree Jamaican minstrel (Jar Jar Binks, above) to the hook-nosed shyster merchant (Watto), he outdid any of his Jedi fuckery by a long shot. May the force (of racism) be with you.
9. Bulworth (1998)
Director: Warren Beatty
Stars: Warren Beatty, Halle Berry, Oliver Platt, Don Cheadle, Paul Sorvino, Jack Warden, Isaiah Washington, Sean Astin, Christine Baranski
What happens when a middle-aged white politician picks up the mic and starts rapping about the ills of society? The most embarrassing and racially insensitive two hours ever committed to celluloid, that's what. We don't care if Warren Beatty did run through 12,000 chicks, he's still banned from the Complex Hall of Fame.
8. The Toy (1982)
Director: Richard Donner
Stars: Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason, Ned Beatty, Scott Schwartz, Teresa Ganzel, Wilfrid Hyde-White
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: A rich white man essentially buys a helpless black man and orders him to perform odd jobs around his lavish, money-bags estate. It doesn’t take a history buff to draw the uncomfortable parallels between the inexcusably inappropriate 1982 comedy The Toy and our nation’s storied practicing of slavery.
The heinousness is even right there in movie’s title: The Toy, in this case Richard Pryor, who’s treated like a meaningless object that the film’s spoiled brat (Scott Schwartz) can do with as he pleases and then discard whenever he grows bored of him/it. The only thing that’s funny about it is that, years later, Schwartz’s performed in that 1996 timeless classic Scotty’s X-Rated Adventure. Which, we presume, required a whole new set of toys.
7. Song of the South (1946)
Director: Harve Foster and Wilfred Jackson
Stars: James Baskett, Bobby Driscoll, Luana Patten, Glenn Leedy, Ruth Warrick, Lucile Watson, Hattie McDaniel, Erik Rolf
Everyone knows Disney has a long history of racist characters, but nothing is quite as uncomfortable to watch as this long-forgotten tale about post-Civil War plantation life. Despite the attempted message of racial unity (two little white kids make friends with a jolly black storyteller... Hooray!), this mix of live action and animation too easily glosses over the seriousness of the time, thanks to songs like "Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah!" There's no way Uncle Remus was that happy.
6. Every Rob Schneider movie
Director: Various
Stars: Always Rob Schneider, which is bad enough
Adam Sandler's bit-part-playin' buddy is a modern minstrel who has played (and played out) Chinese (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), Hawaiians (50 First Dates), Arabs (You Don't Mess with the Zohan), and Native Americans (Bedtime Stories). He's argued that it's OK because he has a little Filipino in him (Ayo!) and because he just happened to be the actor best suited to mock a people. We argue, "Fuck you, Rob."
5. The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Director: Mel Gibson
Stars: Jim Caviezel, Maia Morgenstern, Monica Bellucci, Rosalinda Celentano, Francesco DeVito, Luca Lionello
Who needed a drunken rant to know that Mel Gibson hates Jews? In his depiction of the Crucifixion of Christ—who, coincidentally, is portrayed by white actor Jim Caveziel even though everybody knows Black Jesus was black—the Chosen People are a vile, bloodthirsty horde that takes great pleasure in watching God's son suffer for the sins of man. Gibson gets a gold Star of David for this one—David Duke, that is.
4. Soul Man (1986)
Director: Steve Miner
Stars: C. Thomas Howell, Rae Dawn Chong, Arye Gross, James Earl Jones, Leslie Nielsen
When '80s funnyman C. Thomas Howell (we're assuming the "C." stands for "Cracker") can't afford to pay for college, he puts on blackface and steals a scholarship designated for minorities. Spoiled white boys need Affirmative Action too! The most racist part about this movie isn't that he's in blackface (although that's pretty fuckin' racist too), it's the fact that we're supposed to believe that everyone else buys it without even questioning why he looks like an Aryan douche covered in shoe polish. Even his black girlfriend, played by miscegenation master Rae Dawn Chong, doesn't catch on after she sees him naked!
3. Planet of the Apes (1968)
Director: Franklin J. Schaffner
Stars: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, James Daly, Linda Harrison
"No, no," they say, "it's a deep allegory about race, politics, and power! It's not racist!" Right. We see light-skinned apes commanding thuggish dark-skinned apes as fearful whiteys cower in terror. Call us simpletons, but you really need to watch this one again—on weed.
2. Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
Director: Blake Edwards
Stars: Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Buddy Epsen, Martin Balsam, Mickey Rooney, Alan Reed
In the history of inexplicable Hollywood racism, Breakfast at Tiffany's takes the motherfuckin' rice cake. Nobody would've noticed had director Blake Edwards removed the random, inconsequential character of Mr. Yunioshi, gold digging Holly Golightly's bumbling, annoying Japanese neighbor, but there he is, sticking out like the two-inch buckteeth Mickey Rooney in yellowface sports to complete his look and ensure that the movie, like his portrayal, is ah-so disrespectfur.
1. The Birth of a Nation (1915)
Director: D.W. Griffith
Stars: Lillian Gish, Mae Marsh, Henry B. Walthall, Miriam Cooper
The only way that D.W. Griffith’s infamous silent film The Birth of a Nation could’ve been more racist is if they would’ve gone with the flick’s original title: The Clansman. As it stands, though, Griffith’s disturbing “drama” is truly a product of its time of racial injustice, right down to the use of white actors donning black-face makeup while portraying black characters as buffoons whose only goals in life are to try and sleep with white ladies and evade the ever-persistent Ku Klux Klan.
Not unsettling enough for you? Dwell on this fun little factoid: The Birth of a Nation was once used as a recruitment tool by the KKK. Nothing riles melanin-challenged bigots up like scenes in which black men miraculously enter political offices and pass laws that allow mixed-race marriages and require Caucasians to always salute their black superiors in public. One racial extremist’s horror movie is another level-headed and tolerant person’s selection for cinema’s most racist of all time. Different strokes for different folks, indeed.