A Recent History of Students Embarrassing Their Universities With Music Videos

Creating and distributing a music video used to require financial backing, professional production, or—at the very least—a plan. Now, anyone with an iPhone and an Internet connection can throw together a short and toss it on YouTube. The result? A windfall of ridiculously embarrassing, publically accessible home movies, and America's colleges provide a treasure trove of DIY fuckery. From corny recruiting attempts to fan-made stadium anthems, this is A Recent History of Students Embarrassing Their Universities With Music Videos.

Written by Sean Evans (@seanseaevans)

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School: University of Georgia
Date: August 2010
Purpose: Orientation

This video opens with what appears to be the floor team at Target walking down a hallway, and it gets progressively more ridiculous from there. If you take "Party in the UGA" at its word, a college experience in Athens involves crossing streets, dancing outside of administrative buildings, and laughing with friends in otherwise empty courtyards. Though, we suspect, a typical Bulldog day begins with funneling a Heineken keg can between one's butt cheeks and throwing a drunken haymaker at a Bama fan (again, we're speculating).

Anyway, if the goal was to get incoming freshman jacked up about college life in the SEC, this video should have been Aaron Murray fourth quarter comebacks and "I'm Shmacked" trailers exclusively. Seriously. If we were running the show over there, we'd just pack the class of 2017 in an auditorium, give everyone a four pack of Red Bull, and play Herschel Walker highlight reels until kids started bicycle kicking holes in the walls. Instead, you're running this shit? FOH. Oh, and to the marketing department at UGA, you're welcome.

School: University of Notre Dame
Date: April 2010
Purpose: School spirit

Holy moly. We're not even ten seconds into this thing and we can already see the ghost of Knute Rockne smashing his supernatural iPhone into the sidewalk. But stay tuned because a dude that looks like a virgin Andy Milonakis starts spitting bars about lighting the football field on fire at the 1:43 mark.

Remember that movie Rudy? It tells the story of an undersized football player that—through sacrifice, homelessness, and the loss of his fiancée to his own brother—records a single sack in the garbage minutes of a blowout. Anyway, that's what this video is like. It's ambitious, but—when you really break it down—totally uninspiring and categorically bothersome. Like, it's one of those things parents will show to their kids, but they probably shouldn't. You know?

School: University of Alabama
Date: August 2011
Purpose: Sorority recruitment

Bad sorority recruiting videos could be a list in their own right, but this one is extraordinarily awful. First, it was a horrible idea to go with the "Look At Me Now" accompaniment. Busta spits 30 words a second on that beat, but these girls all rap like they just sprinted a few laps around The Rotunda holding their breath. They can't finish a single bar without getting gassed and, if you close your eyes, it just sounds like a bunch of wine drunk soccer moms humiliating their kids by singing Matty B joints in the driver seat of a Honda Odyssey.

Second, did these chicks really just say "Fresh as Nick Saban"? Don't get us wrong, unbelievable football coach, but the guy's look is just pleated khakis and irksome snarls. If that's what qualifies for freshness in Tuscaloosa, all it takes is a Fox Racing hoodie and a pair of Paco jeans to be the most fashion forward guy on campus.

Finally, at the :55 mark, these girls do a "Hold up...hold up...REMIX!" and then the beat switches to that "Friday" song that has nine-billion YouTube views. That is not a remix, ladies. You guys are just starting up a totally new song. Going from track one to track two is nothing like Jermaine Dupri flipping the beat on a Dru Hill joint and letting Da Brat hop on a verse. That's a remix. SMH. Y'all need to spend more time in Rodgers Library and less time doing keg stands in the Bryant-Denny Stadium parking lot.

School: University of Missouri
Date: January 2012
Purpose: School spirit? Maybe?

In 2007, Mizzou went from perpetual Big 12 bottom feeder to vaunting fairly respectable football and basketball programs. The student body clearly had a hard time adjusting to the moderate success. This video is tantamount to a diss record directed at Kansas basketball; only the fantasy football bros that put it together come off so distractingly insecure that they effectually maim their own school. [Side note: Kansas basketball is 172-95 all-time against Missouri.] This is definitely a page out of the Plaxico Burress book on firing shots. Also, you know these guys fanboy out when Chase Daniel hits up Harpo's during homecoming; probably buying out the SoCo shots and throwing away his plastic cups for him. Prosperity can be so pathetic.

School: University of Missouri
Date: August 2012
Purpose: Redemption

Are these the same guys from the slide before? Hold up, we have to do some research... *Googles "goofball missouri kids embarrassing music videos"* It is, and they've ditched the cheesy autotune rap thing for a more low-key country sound and three hot chicks. This video was made to celebrate Missouri's move to the SEC, and it features row boating in a field and a pickup truck doing donuts, but—unfortunately—not a single barb wire accident or bull attack.

Did this guy really just croon, "Hey Gainesville, remember that Sugar Bowl"? Dude, that was in 1966. Do YOU remember that Sugar Bowl, or were you still two decades away from being conceived on the bathroom floor of a Denny's? Exactly, STFU. We're not going to apologize for crossing the line there, either. If you have to go back to the Lyndon B. Johnson administration to talk sports smack, you're better off keeping your mouth shut. Those are the rules.

In sum, if you have an 8:30 p.m. bedtime or you're roaringly high on Percocet, you might mess with this song. But otherwise, it's a case of shame begetting more shame for the Tigers.

School: University of Southern California
Date: November 2012
Purpose: School spirit

When this video first started, with the catering group harmonizing and Chet Haze's weed carriers mean mugging, we thought this was a satire or, at the very least, a somewhat self aware parody. A minute in we realized, "Holy shit, these clowns are for real."

LOL at the line, "You think your mascot is cool as can be? / That's cool, go ahead, but my school's got three." Dang, why did you have to do us dirty like that?! You're lucky we're not face-to-face right now, because we'd have to roundhouse kick the side mirror of your mom's Mini Cooper for talking THAT reckless. Between "Trojans for Life" and Lane Kiffin, USC's had a bigger fall-off in 2013 than Paula Deen. This is Glee fan fiction at its absolute worst over here.

School: George Washington University
Date: September 2013
Purpose: Sorority recruitment

You know this video is going to suck three seconds in, but it gets really hard to watch when these girls start rapping. We're sure the Kappa ladies make bomb Jello shots and probably raise a ton of money for their local German Shepard rescue shelter or whatever, but they cannot find the beat on this track. Not even a little bit. It's like they were so embarrassed by this whole thing that they just mumbled through their lyrics as quickly as possible and went back to praying that this mess doesn't end up on BuzzFeed. That said, it's not all bad for GWU's sorority row. The AEPHIs look like a lot of fun.

School: University of California - Irvine
Date: April 2013
Purpose: Unknown

Behold, a room full of dipshits dancing around to Justin Timberlake, with a special appearance by a faux Jay Z in blackface. The video was produced by members of the Lambda Theta Delta fraternity to promote an upcoming event. Besides the obvious racial insensitivity, this is one horrible video. The setting is a filthy apartment and there appears to be a dude texting on a couch in the background. Y'all could have at least picked your shoes up and thrown out a pizza box or two before filming, right? Every video on this list is embarrassing in a this-is-too-dumb-for-words sort of way, but this one is independently appalling. As expected (and rightfully so), the video triggered a media shit storm and ultimately an apology from the organization.

School: University of Georgia
Date: April 2013
Purpose: Stadium anthem

The opening to this video sucks. It's just a kid that looks like he works part-time at Hollister & Co. punk-pop singing like it's 2002. This beat bangs, though. If you can make it through the first 30 seconds, a dude that looks (and acts) like Hank Williams Jr. after blowing a mountainous line of cocaine breaks into Mark Richt's office. This guy looks more mascot than human being and he's barking this verse in a cheerleader's cadence. Clemson quarterback Tajh Boyd probably disagrees, but we're hanging ever Georgia loss this season on "Dawg Bite."

School: Purdue University
Date: August 2013
Purpose: Revenge

The University of Indiana's "This is Indiana" is widely considered to be the gold standard in lame, DIY fan anthems. Well, nearby Purdue University responded in the most Purdue-ish way with its corny clap back, "You Oughta Be Proud." This video takes a violent left turn at the 2:00 mark when Nick Nack from The Man With the Golden Gun starts inexplicably rapping about contributing to the college's endowment. If you want to take an acid trip without actually putting tabs in your mouth, just press play.

School: Phillips Academy
Date: July 2011
Purpose: School spirit

Before we rip this video, shout out to the allergy-ridden aristocrat who wrote this for working "unbeknown" into the song's hook. This has to be the only rap song ever created without a single AP error, and that deserves a Rick Flair "Woo!” Students and faculty at Phillips Academy, an elite boarding school in Massachusetts where everyone’s awesome at, like, math and sports or whatever, produced the video. These are only high school kids, who are disqualified from our “college” list, but it's a self-congratulatory piece of shit and the dorkiness factor is off the charts. Enjoy!