Ahead of the Daughters premiere at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, there were murmurs around town about what a gut-punch of a movie directors Natalie Rae and Angela Patton had made. It follows four girls as they prepare to reunite with their incarcerated fathers at a daddy-daughter dance inside a Washington, D.C. jail. I was told to “bring Kleenex” often.
After the lights dimmed, and the stories of Aubrey, Santana, Raziah, and Ja’Ana unfolded on screen, I could hear the sound of hundreds of hearts breaking around me. I don’t ever remember hearing so many people choking up in unison. That Kleenex really came in clutch.
Shot over the course of eight years, Daughters tracks the girls and their fathers as they work through their range of emotions in the month leading up to the climactic dance, which was conceived of by Patton and her Girls For A Change nonprofit organization, whose mission it is to empower young Black girls as they hurtle towards adulthood.
As Patton tells it, she had been approached countless times by filmmakers desperate to document the “Date With Daddy” program, but it was only until she encountered Rae—who had a deep understanding of her organization’s mission—that she agreed. Rae and her crew embedded themselves with the girls for nearly a decade as they moved from childhood into adolescence, as well as their fathers, who the team filmed from inside jail as they emotionally prepared themselves to see their daughters for the first time since being incarcerated, in most cases.
Once the film’s powerhouse climax of the dance wrapped, the filmmakers revisit the girls to check in on how that fateful day with their fathers impacted their lives. I had the privilege of witnessing the true transformative power of the “Date With Daddy” program when, as the film’s credits rolled, the girls, now well into the teens, and two of the fathers graced the stage to roaring applause. When one of the fathers took the mic, he explained that prior to the dance, he hadn’t been able to stay out of prison for more than six months at a time. He then saw firsthand the importance of being there for his daughter and proudly proclaimed that he's been out of prison for four years and counting.
After winning two major awards at Sundance, the film was quickly snatched up by Netflix and is now on a collision course with the Oscars, where it’s a virtual lock for a nomination. Amid the whirlwind of the film’s release, we spoke to Rae and Patton about the making of one of the best documentaries of the year
{This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.}
COMPLEX: Since premiering at Sundance to major acclaim, Daughters has been one of the most well-received documentaries I can remember. Now it’s finally on Netflix for the world to see. How have you felt with the reception so far, and especially now, that the world can finally see a film that has been eight years in the making?
NATALIE RAE: It's just so beautiful. This is beyond everything we could have expected. I rarely see docs getting this amount of attention and love. And it's not just, "Oh, it's good." I'm just so moved by the type of responses that we're getting—just incredibly deep, emotional, and personal notes sent to us. It's so meaningful.
ANGELA PATTON: The personal notes, that's my favorite thing. I've been saving them, but I also love what Natalie was sharing about that it's not normal in docs. I love that a lot of young people would think that, "Docs are boring. I don't want to ever watch them. It's not in my algorithm." And so, now they’re like, "So many docs are now coming in my algorithm and I'm learning so much more, and seeing other docs," It's allowing people to take time to just inform themselves and become aware in a different way. And I know that storytelling through a doc can really change your life and how you show up, but they also bring you a different perspective of certain people's lived experiences and historical events that you just didn't know because you maybe didn't get that in school. Docs have the power to do that.
COMPLEX: One thing I noticed when I was watching the film was how comfortable the girls seemed on camera. What was the process of getting them to open up to you in such a vulnerable, authentic way?
RAE: First of all, it was meeting the families through Angela's program. She has a very strong reputation for the work in the community that she does and for how successful the “[Date With Daddy]” program is. So as a documentary filmmaker coming into that, you're in a trusted world. But then, it takes the time to explain, and sit with the families, and really understand what they want out of a documentary, and just understanding their needs. And especially the moms, their concerns, and their interests in the film, and what they would want to say. And I think those conversations really laid the groundwork for them, the moments in their daily lives to be very comfortable. I was really surprised with how quickly the girls just didn’t even see the camera, because I think they were quite focused on the things they really wanted to say.
COMPLEX: Was there a specific moment where you realized that you maybe had broken down the trust between you and the girls that had been established?
RAE: One of my first conversations with Santana was so strong, and after an hour of some very personal, thoughtful comments, I figured maybe we should take a break and stop. And she was like, "No, I have a lot more to say. I want to keep going." And the interview went on for almost three hours, and then she had questions for me. That’s when I realized these girls are going to take this film where they want to take it. And Just Ja’Ana inviting us to her birthday party. We didn’t even know if it was going to make it in the film, and suddenly we’re part of this Soul Train line. It was all these girls and moms dancing, and it was so beautiful to see.
COMPLEX: The film's central conceit is the relationships between the daughters and the fathers, but the mothers do play a huge role in the film. How did you decide on the level of involvement that the mothers would have in the documentary?
PATTON: It's important to include the mothers because after the fathers are found eligible to participate in the dance and then they fully show up, we have to ask the mother or the caregiver. In this particular case, all of the girls live with their biological mother, but whoever is the person caring for the child during the parent's incarceration is who would have custody, which means they have the right to make the decision. And so, we have to consider their heartbreak, their disappointment, their resentment, their fear because we understand that there are times when that particular person is really going to be protective of the child. They also have no idea what they are allowing their daughters to walk into without them being able to grab them, and play Mother Bear immediately, and get them to safety. And so, at Girls For A Change, we have to always consider that.
As part of the “Date With Daddy” program, we have circles—we call them “Sister Circles”—with the mothers because we want to make sure they know we acknowledge what they're feeling, and that we want them to tell us what their fears are, and what they want out of this? And the goal for all of us is to make sure that the well-being of the child is the priority, so how do we make sure together that we are doing this? Once I think the mothers see that they're not alone and they can form their own club or group, they start to trust the process and lean on each other for the ups and the downs and the mixed feelings that they may have about this dance. But at the end of the day, I think that they are always excited for their daughters to have this opportunity with their fathers.
COMPLEX: In the eight-year making of this film, how much did you plan in advance versus letting things unfold organically? Was there a moment in particular that unfolded in a way you didn't expect that ended up maybe being an essential part of the film?
RAE: I didn't expect Mark to come home so quickly after the dance and totally change Santana's spirit. I really did not see that coming. I couldn't get a hold of that family for almost nine months, and that was during the pandemic. We'd been filming every few months and then I lost touch with them, so I was nervous that they didn't want to be part of it anymore. But then, Diamond called me back one day and said, "It's all good. We just didn't have a phone for a while. Too much with bills during the pandemic." And Mark was home. I went right away and I couldn't believe that Santana just had this lightness and ease and this confidence that was so beautiful to see, so that was a really special trip.
PATTON: What I appreciate the most is Unita. Because out of all of the dances that I have done, if the mother just is like, "You didn't show up, you don't care, you have been irresponsible," most likely, the child is not going to the dance. This is not usually what happens, so when I'm hearing this mother just not happy with this father; I did doubt that Ja’Ana would come. So when she did, I was just so proud and was like, "Wow, what an amazing model we're going to have to show." I don't know if it was the Sister Circle that helped her do it, or just Ja’Ana wanted to do it. But what I loved the most was that even though all those things were heavy on her heart and in her mind, she knew what was best for her daughter. Usually when the mother says "No," she means what she says. In the end, I thought, "Wow, what a healing moment we have to capture that people could model around forgiveness."
COMPLEX: In the eight years it took to make this film, is there anything you witnessed or experienced that fundamentally changed you as a person?
RAE: As a filmmaker, I had done a lot of short form stuff. My dad taught me how to make a documentary when I was a child, so this was a beautiful, full circle moment. I never set out to make something so long and open, and it's hard, complicated, and I wish I would've told myself so many of the lessons that I've learned now. As a filmmaker, you want to have a shot list, have a story and control, so this was really a process of letting go. And then as a human, I felt like I grew up with these girls, gained compassion, and understanding a really different way of life, and seeing the resilience of human beings under circumstances that I never could imagine. It was truly humbling and inspiring.
COMPLEX: How about you, Angela? How do you think this film will serve as an extension of your work as an advocate and activist?
PATTON: I've learned the power of storytelling through this medium. I've learned what it looks like to let girls lead you, and to not show up and have all the answers. I’ve become a more coachable person as opposed to not always being the coach. And because this is my first time doing a film, it’s a new approach to telling a story that was really heavy on my heart. I've been learning, since I've started doing this work, from young girls.
But sometimes I think at one point I'm going to go tell everybody what we do to prepare Black girls for the world, and what you need to do with them. And now I’m in the student seat, but just from a different realm, a different lens. And so, I'm grateful that I'm eight years older, but still understand the power of listening actively, making sure that I'm always a student, and also making sure that I understand how to show up better for myself first and for others through these types of experiences. So yeah, just continuously growing and developing into a stronger leader.
COMPLEX: So much of the film rests on shooting the dance itself, and getting that right. Because you only had one shot at it, how did you make sure you nailed it?
PATTON: I had to convince and encourage Natalie and the cinematographer to just trust that you're going to get it. I've done this a million times, and believe me, that energy, that climax, I know that when they see the father, it's there. I just was like, "Natalie, this is where they’re going to come in. They're not going to go back and forth. They're not actors.” And Natalie trusted that, and so she got with the team and really created. We are co-creating this together with them, and I wanted to make sure that people understood that with that moment, you can't go back. We got to let them go. You can't be like, "Oh, that's a good job. Kiss her now. Y'all hugging.” You got to do your best because that is their moment and the only time they're going to be able to feel that. We had an amazing crew that respected it first, trusted it second, and prepared themselves third.
COMPLEX: How did you prepare for the moment the fathers are anxiously waiting for their daughters to appear, and then you see the girls appear at the end of the hallway, which has become the signature shot of the film
RAE: The weight of capturing this one moment in the most powerful way we could was just so much responsibility, so we discussed it alot. We were fortunate that Angela had been through so many of these, so I think she knew that setting up the fathers waiting in a line in the hallway, and having the girls come down, not all at once, but slowly, allowing people to have those individual, intimate moments. We knew that that was going to happen, but we also had two rules. One was that we were never going to talk to the families at all that day. It was their time. When we're filming at home and doing interviews, it's a constant back-and-forth.
The day of the dance, that is about the families having the best experience possible, so no talking to them or interfering. We decided that we would shoot it on film because that was one of the only things we could control. And while that's obviously a lot riskier with reloading mags, and processing, and stuff like that, it really gave us that human, timeless quality that really softens and grounds the feeling and the emotion, so I'm grateful that we were able to pull that off. The cinematographer, Cambio, and a second operator were in the hallway, and so they would just work together and just be the only ones there observing, and the rest of us were just down the hall in the background. Cambio turned to me part way through and just said, "I don't know if anything will be in focus because I'm crying so hard, the iris is filled with tears, but I hope it works out." And all you can do is pray and trust that it's all coming together. And it did, and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever been able to capture.
COMPLEX: What went into the decision to not mention the specific crimes that led to the fathers' incarceration?
RAE: The film is from the girls' perspective. They deserve love and a father that can look them in the eye and say that. Even if it's just this one day. So we really wanted the viewers to focus on the love and bond between the father-daughter relationship, and what that father did doesn't really impact that love.
PATTON: The girls who created this programme with me never mentioned, "Well, what if her father doesn't deserve to go to the dance?" Or, "What did the father do?" And, "Why is he in there?" They never mentioned that when they reached out to the sheriff and asked for this dance through the letter, so they have never judged the fathers. And as we were looking at our footage, that wasn't something that was even consistent in the conversation.
There is a part where the girl said, "I'm going to ask my dad why he in here." I love that we put it in there because we know that ears perk. And then, they never get the answer. Does she ask him? I don't know, but I will say that they had their own heartfelt conversations that they needed to have to get towards forgiveness, and get towards building a healthy relationship with their fathers on their terms. And so, if we were to announce what they were in there for, then it would be on the viewer's terms. Lastly, I would add that it’s not a jail story. It's a love story. And with the jail story, you know the crime, and with the love story, you know the heart, and that's what we wanted to focus on—the heart.
COMPLEX: How do you think the involvement of the girls and their fathers has impacted them on a personal level?
PATTON: Santana now wants to be a civil rights attorney. Her grandmother is a politician in Washington, D.C., and she was like, "I think I'm going to follow her footsteps. She's doing things to change peoples' outcomes, and I want to do that." Raziah has requested to be a spokesperson for Daughters so that she can speak about the film with other children that may be impacted by the criminal justice system and disconnected from their families. And for someone whose father is away for 30 years, what strength did that young girl have to really try to support other girls that are like her? Lastly, I always saw the work that I was able to do with Natalie as the first time those girls, mothers, and the fathers were able to just vent and pour and express themselves at that level. And although cameras were there, they all said that they either forgot, or they thought that the team was so respectful, and they felt free to speak, and I believe that meant that it was therapeutic for them. And now, they understand the more that they have conversations about the challenges that they may have been faced with, and the more they get the social and emotional support around them, and the more people connect with them and lift them up, they're able to take that in and pay it forward.
RAE: It's a big week with the film coming out and the girls going back to school. It's a lot, it's heavy, and it's exciting, and it's all these different emotions, but yeah, I've been grateful that the moms and the girls have expressed that being able to talk about their feelings over the years has been a good outlet, and been a way to process, and has been a way to use something that's really hard, but actually feel like they're part of something that's going to help others, even though they still have to deal with really difficult circumstances with their fathers. Like Angela said, they’re already starting to make new conversations and think about their future, so we'll be keeping in close contact with them over the next few years to help with whatever avenues they want to pursue.
COMPLEX: Do you think audiences, after watching this film, will feel motivated to maybe create change on their own?
RAE: I hope that it really changes hearts and minds. I think that it's such an internal film that it's powerful enough to make you think about your own family, think about new ways of opening your eyes and mind about other humans around you.
PATTON: There's just so much work that needs to be done, and I'm hoping that the film has brought not only swollen eyes and puffy cheeks to people from their tears, but they can turn those tears into action and really think about locally, what they can do at home to change visitation practises, maybe volunteer for a girls-centered program, look us up and support our impact campaign, because we have a lot of work that we want to do to support the hard work that our girls need. We have an education fund for the girls, and we also want to do more screenings so that we can have more conversations about how to take action collaboratively with communities. And Daughters is now a tool to help us do the work in a way where we can see the impact that is definitely necessary.