Image via Complex Original
We’ve been spending a lot of time lately brainstorming the best ways to cool down. So what if the ice pack that we may or may not have duct taped to our heads was really painful to get off? And maybe the secret office kiddie pool popped when a certain someone tried to cannonball into it. But it was all worth it, because the quest to stay cool led us in search of some awesome water parks. But of course, the run-of-the-mill lazy river with mandatory floaties wouldn’t cut it—we like our amusement parks served with a heavy helping of adrenaline. So with that in mind, we set out to find the most insane, over-the-top, crazy water parks we could find. These parks are not for the faint of heart: some unexpectedly drop you several stories through trap doors, other send you and three brave friends through a giant funnel, and all of them will get your blood pumping while keeping you cool. Take a closer look, if you think you can handle it, that is.
Schlitterbahn
City: New Braunfels, Texas
At the top of our list is Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels, which is located between Austin and San Antonio. One of several parks in the Schlitterbahn family, the New Braunfels outpost gets the pole position on this list as a host to several gnarly rides, the most wild of which is the Master Blaster. This crazy tube ride for doubles, which was voted one of the best in the country, drops three stories, goes back up another three, then twists, turns, and spirals around before shooting riders down what is known as the “pretzel spiral.” And if that isn’t enough, hit up the Black Knight afterwards for 550 feet of pitch-black adrenaline rush. And the best part? You can ride tubes on a lazy river from one ride to the next.
Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari
City: Santa Claus, Ind.
If you’re looking for the two longest rides in the world, then you have to check out Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari in Santa Claus, Indiana. The longer of the two rides, the Mammoth, shoots six-person tubes through a third of a mile of light and darkness, twists and turns, and into a significant amount of air time. The second, the Wildebeest, is a two-and-a-half-minute rush that begins with a four-story drop, followed by six more drops, and two underground tunnels, all in all covering more than two acres on just one ride. And we haven’t even mentioned the gigantic wave pool yet either.
Aquatica: Sea World’s Water Park
City: Orlando, Fla.
As part of Sea World’s Orlando location, Aquatica already has a leg up over the competition with one of the country’s best-known marine mammal parks literally next door. But Aquatica would stand tall on its own even if it didn’t have Shamu as a neighbor. Our favorite ride at the park, and the most popular, is the Dolphin Plunge—a pulse-racing ride in a completely clear tube that takes you underwater through the middle of a dolphin tank. These playful creatures will often race you as you jet through this futuristic tube.
Noah’s Ark
City: Wisconsin Dells, Wis.
In Wisconsin Dells, the self-proclaimed “water park capital of the world,” you can find Noah’s Ark—the largest water park in the country. This massive park boasts 51 water slides spread over 70 acres, and features more than a handful of heart stopping, waterlogged rides. While we have to give props to the Time Warp, the world’s largest bowl ride, and Black Anaconda, a quarter mile-long slide that verges on roller coaster speeds at thirty miles-per-hour, the Scorpion’s Tail takes the cake. This infamous ride features a ten-story drop that sends you flying at over 50 feet-per-second. Gnarly.
Schlitterbahn Waterpark
City: Kansas City, Mo.
The Schlitterbahn team has struck again, this time with their newly added Verrückt slide at Schlitterbahn Kansas City. The Verrückt drops four people at a time over 168 feet, only to shoot them back up to another fifty-foot drop, making this brand new slide the highest water slide in the world. Once you’ve hit the Verrückt, make sure to check out the Soaring Eagle zipline and the Boogie Bahn surf ride, and get your surfing fix hundreds of miles away from the nearest ocean.
Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon
City: Orlando, Fla.
Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon in Orlando is the most visited water park in the world—they had over two million visitors in 2012—for a reason. At Typhoon Lagoon, you can find one of the largest wave pools in the world, able to generate waves so large you can surf them…and surf them you most definitely can. The park also features a ton of awesome slides and rides, and even has a man-made coral reef that is home to sharks, stingrays, and Nemo-like fish for adventurous snorkelers.
Roaring Springs Waterpark
City: Boise, Idaho
Roaring Springs definitely brings the heat (while cooling you down, of course) to Boise. If this park only had the insane Corkscrew Cavern and no other ride, we’d still be pumped. This 360-degree slide begins with you standing on a trap door, waiting for the inevitable drop. Before you know it, you’re falling at 38 feet per second before flying around the 360-degree loop. Once you’ve checked that off the list, we dare you to try the six-story, four-second drop that is the Cliffhanger—yet another new, terrifying slide that keeps Roaring Springs solidly on our list.
Wet 'n Wild
City: Orlando, Fla.
Typhoon Lagoon and Aquatica have some serious competition in Orlando with Wet ’n Wild. You’ll be getting started with their two slides that feature six-story drops. The real test of your man or womanhood, of course, will be the Brain Wash, which is a 53-foot drop with three of your new closest friends into a giant domed funnel. Afterwards, check out the cable-towed water skis, wake boards, and knee skis you can tear up in their half-mile long lake. Even better, if you’re a Florida resident and you buy a one-day pass you get the rest of the year for free.
Wet 'n Wild
City: Kapolei, Oahu, Hawaii
If one Wet ’n Wild wasn’t enough, this Hawaiian branch really steps it up. Set amongst the tropical beauty of Oahu is this monster of a park, which features a ride called the Tornado that begins by catapulting guests through a tunnel and into a huge funnel that eventually spits them out on the other end. And if for some strange reason that doesn’t quite do it for you, you can either race your friends on the Island Racer, surf Da Flowrider, or cruise the unique wet/dry Shaka. Afterwards you can always chill out in the lazy river or play some island-themed mini-golf, which always wins points with us.
Six Flags’ White Water
City: Atlanta
ATL is no joke in the summertime, which is one reason why Six Flags’ White Water is so popular. The other reason being the sheer number of rush-inducing slides you can find in the park. Just check out the Tornado, where you and three friends plummet down a tunnel for more than 75 feet into a huge funnel that eventually shoots you out of a corkscrew and into the splash pool below. But the Tornado is just a warm-up for the Cliffhanger—one of the highest free fall slides in the world. At over nine stories, this one is only for the bravest. If somehow you’re still not satisfied, ask someone about the Dragon’s Tail, but just know that we warned you.