Image via Complex Original
The video game world is no stranger to the objectification of the human body. We've all seen countless titles where women are designed with enormous breasts and ample bottoms no matter how cool and badass they are. Although most gamers couldn't care less about the outpouring of T and A in some games, we figured that in the interest of juvenile humor (that's why you love us), we'd turn the tables on the macho oogling of woman parts and shine a light on the guys rocking digitized buns of steel. Check out this list of The 10 Best Male Asses In Video Games and let the cat calls and whistles begin!
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10. Master Chief
Game: Halo
Who'd Appreciate It?: Cortana
Cortana made her decision, and Cortana is never wrong. Usually. Unless she's rampant. We may never actually know what Chief looks like beneath the bulky armor, but we have a pretty good idea of what we're looking at. Did you see Forward Unto Dawn? Like what you see from the older soldiers? Yeah, that's probably what Chief is hiding beneath all that protection.
9. Commander Shepard
Game: Mass Effect
Who'd Appreciate It?: Miranda Lawson, for obvious reasons
Shepard's various forms of dress are flattering in many ways (except for some of those he lounges in). It's obvious his armor is built specifically to curve around that shapely ex-Spectre butt, so feel free to ogle it as you're running around saving the universe and whatnot. Because, you know, butts are more important.
8. Dante
Game: Devil May Cry
Who'd Appreciate It?: Obviously Trish, but we haven't seen her in quite some time.
Dante wears chaps for a reason. There really just isn't much more that needs explaining beyond that. He seems to want to show off his chest more, but why stop there? He obviously started something good with the low-cut jeans and needlessly figure-hugging costumes.
7. Chris Redfield
Game: Resident Evil
Who'd Appreciate It?: Leon Kennedy. He's more of the survival horror type, though.
Chris Redfield is one half of the Redfield pair with an attractive bod, but we're not sure if it's from juicing or what. Either way, he knows how to rock his BAA uniform in ways that rival that of the guys from the movie Magic Mike. We see a lot of lawbreakers out there tonight.
6. Duke Nukem
Game: Duke Nukem
Who'd Appreciate It?: Probably anyone with lady parts. Duke told us to put that there.
To hear him tell it, Duke is one of the greatest, most handsome saviors the world has ever seen. We got a little taste of that in Duke Nukem Forever, and how narcississtic the man can be, from way back in the Duke Nukem 3D days. But take it form us, he fills out those tight blue jeans in ways we rather enjoy. It's probably from running back and forth to sign autographs, wouldn't you say?
5. Travis Touchdown
Game: No More Heroes
Who'd Appreciate It?: Otaku. Seriously, how many people do you know can rock a red leather jacket and tight jeans while remaining what is, essentially, a NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training)?
It's not like Travis is exactly fighting off suitors left and right, although he is taking out assassins. He's stunning in tight bluejeans that showcase what we're sure is a Bad Girl-worthy, shapely gimp-approved butt that looks much less like it's been hibernating on the couch for days upon days. Seriously, how can we stay in that kind of shape while doing absolutely nothing for so long?
4. Ryu Hayabusa
Game: Ninja Gaiden
Who'd Appreciate It?: Everyone sick of ogling the Dead or Alive girls and are looking for some new eye candy
Not only is Ryu deadly, but he's packing some dangerous curves beneath that tight spandex. Tecmo knows what they're doing, and the Dead or Alive girls aren't the only ones milking all the attention out of those sad, lonely individuals who simply can't stop watching. We like what Hayabusa's working with, though.
3. Nathan Drake
Game: Uncharted
Who'd Appreciate It?: Hollister fangirls who love those manly, rugged types.
Nathan Drake knows adventuring. He also knows how to accentuate his manly physique, wearing tight, perfectly-tailored jeans that hug his toned behind. He's already got his sights set on a special someone, ladies, and gents, but you can still look. Just don't touch.
2. Snake
Game: Metal Gear Solid
Who'd Appreciate It?: Lookin' at you, Otacon.
He spends enough time showing it off, and we've had ample time to appreciate Snake's shapely backside in his extremely tight field garb, on full display as he edges each corner oh-so carefully. Don't pretend you weren't looking. That'd be like trying to say you averted your eyes when Raiden performed all those naked cartwheels, and we know you didn't.
1. Kratos
Game: God of War
Who'd Appreciate It?: His wife, if she were still alive. Heyoooo!
The Ghost of Sparta's in great shape, being the God of War now and all, and those "special" minigames with all the beautiful women he comes across in-game certainly aren't triggered because of his gorgeous personality (which doesn't exist.) There's a reason he's barely clothed, and that's because he subscribes to the RPG school of armor effectiveness for women. Er, we mean because Kratos got back. Seriously.