Image via Complex Original
During Nintendo's 38 year existence, we've seen many competitors come and go. While competing video game consoles from Sony and Microsoft control the majority of the marketshare, no one can deny the hardcore staying power of Nintendo and their ability to weather any storm that may blow through. This would explain the extreme loyalty of a Nintendo fan. PlayStation and Xbox fans will admit that their flagship system sucks sometimes, but those belonging to the Nintendo clan will defend their favorite platform to the last breath. Nintendo fans will also devote endless time and energy to launch as Isaiah Triforce Johnson has done time and time again.
If there's one thing to know about a die-hard Nintendo fan is that you should never, ever try to talk slick about the platform. If you're unsure about what and what not to say to one, here are 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Nintendo Fan. Print it out and put it in your pocket for safe keeping because there is a good chance it will come in handy.
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"Nintendo doesn't care about good graphics."
As true as it may be, despite Nintendo's recent marginal push with the Wii U, it's not something any Nintendo fan really wants to hear. Many gamers feel graphics contribute little, if anything, to the overall gameplay experience, and that it wouldn't matter how vivid and realistic Mario's overalls are, if the game doesn't "feel" right, it's going to flop. But you've got entire camps of people who think graphics are what it's all about. Who's right? There's never going to be one true answer, but this is never something you want to express to someone who loves Nintendo as much as their firstborn child.
"Mobile phone games will be the end of Nintendo's handhelds."
With the Nintendo DS/3DS having cornered the handheld market for so long, it's hard to believe apps might be the way of the future. It's a hard pill to swallow for anyone, considering the average quality of an app compared to a "core" game specifically tailored for a Nintendo handheld. This is not an argument you will win, and you'll be made to feel incredibly stupid for trying, considering ever since the Gameboy, Nintendo has been a no-brainer for on-the-go fun. And that's not just an opinion—there are plenty of failed handheld devices out there to back it up.
"Nintendo hates online multiplayer/achievements/DLC/online components."
Nintendo's online areas may appear weak and underdeveloped, but perhaps that's for a good reason. Regardless, this isn't a point fans like to get into too much. Failed opportunities to expand, rework, and create a strong online community are certainly viewed as negatives in our world of constant-connection to our friends and family, and it seems as though Nintendo has no interest in working on any of it. As such, don't rub it in when you're hopping from FPS lobby to lobby when your friends are having issues connecting with Animal Crossing towns.
"Nintendo only relies on gimmicks and hardware."
Sounds like you want a black eye if this sentence leaves your lips. The nonexistent "Vitality Sensor," WiiSpeak, the Wii remotes/nunchuks, and other accessories created for use with Wii games, does stack the evidence if you want to look at things that way, but just keep it to yourself. So what, the Wii U gamepad feels large and clunky. Just think it rather than saying it if you ever want to hold another controller in your hands.
"Genesis does what Nintendon't."
All these years later, this embarrassing marketing tagline is still a sore spot for anyone who's ever preferred a Genesis/Mega Drive to an NES/Famicom. And it's hilarious. What is "blast processing" anyway? And how could you choose one over the other when you'd have to give up games like Castlevania on one end or Altered Beast on the other? We all know who emerged from the console wars victorious between Sega and Nintendo, anyway, but that doesn't make these any less of fighting words.
"Nintendo only caters to casual gamers and is now ignoring its core audience."
While this could be said of many companies these days for some particularly strange design decisions, it seems to be aimed particularly at Nintendo, and the devout followers can't stand it. Wii bargain bin titles, mini-game collections, and "babyish" games may be coming out in droves these days, but it's just not true, and fans will be very quick to set you straight.
"Sonic is better than Mario."
Why would you re-ignite a years-old feud between platformer heroes that clearly isn't even being waged anymore? Sonic's been spiralling into a pit of mediocrity for some time now, and Mario's got problems of his own—but never suggest to a Nintendo fan that Mario is anything less than the best, or has fallen from grace in any way. That plumber's got a fanbase of millions, and they don't take kindly to other mascot characters around here. Not even the mascots' brothers. Except for a few select instances.
"Nintendo is just for kids."
Another ignorant statement in general to make to a video game-centric discussion, this particularly irritates Nintendo fans who feel continually slighted by Nintendo's family-friendly marketing and shovelware that seem to perpetuate this myth, despite a plethora of evidence to the contrary. "All-ages" doesn't mean "for children." So you should proably refrain from saying this around the faithful.
"Nintendo doesn't have any good games anymore."
More than just a Nintendo fan faux pas, this is a verbal sin that can be applied to any fandom—it's a blanket statement that makes the person who said it sound pretty ignorant, considering the swath of content the proliferative company has pumped out in the last couple of years like: Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon, Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Zelda: Skyward Sword, New Super Mario Bros. U, NintendoLand, etc. True Nintendo fans will certainly attest to faults of that argument in a heartbeat.
"Zelda is getting stale."
The Legend of Zelda is a stalwart and long-running franchise with plenty of entries into its lore, but don't let anyone fool you into thinking it's constantly reimagining itself. The setpieces and characters are changing, but it may be time for something new and drastic. Just don't ever open your mouth and say this to a hardcore Nintendo fan, who'll see you're banished to the depths of the deepest, darkest Water Temple with no iron boots and a missing key.