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When he's not dropping Southern-fried aphorisms directly to the camera, the newly crowned fictional President of the United States, Frank Underwood, is finding innovative ways to ruin lives. When House of Cards began, it seemed that Underwood's constant screwing of his political rivals was borne of a combination of revenge and efficiency. But by the end of season two, it was clear that Francis sometimes just screws people over for the Hell of it. At this point, he's ruined lives just to avoid a little paperwork.
If Underwood just murdered people (not that he doesn't do that too), House of Cards wouldn't be nearly as fun. One of the joys of watching the series is guessing exactly how Frank is going to ruin each new character's life. As soon as a fresh player is introduced, you start wondering how they will be shuffled off of the chessboard by President Underwood.
As we prepare for a third ride on writer Beau Willimon's epic series, let's take a look back at all of the lives Frank Underwood has ruined on his way to the top. Ranked from mildly inconvenienced to utterly destroyed, here is Everyone Frank Underwood Has Screwed Over on House of Cards (In Order of How Badly He Screwed Them).
26.Jim Matthews
What Frank ruined: Matthews' half-hearted political aspirations
How he ruined it: By distancing Matthews from the President and reminding him how great it was to be Governor
Why he ruined it: Because Matthews had the job Frank wanted
Sometimes being screwed over works out for the best. While Frank couldn't care less about what Matthews wants, Underwood's scheming helped Matthews realize that what he really wanted in life was proximity to the Steelers, the Amish, and cured meats as Governor of the great state of Pennsylvania.
25.Donald Blythe
What Frank ruined: Blythe's education bill
How he ruined it: By painting Blythe as an out of touch left-winger
Why he ruined it: For political convenience
While Blythe ended season two on a high note as the new Vice President, this recent triumph only came after he endured two seasons as Frank Underwood's punching bag. First, Underwood and President Walker had Blythe draft an education bill they never intended on passing. Then Underwood leaked a draft of the extremely liberal bill to smear the President. Adding insult to injury, he managed to blame Blythe for leaking the bill. After all of that, Underwood was still able to manipulate Blythe into voting for his entitlements bill a year later.
24.Michael Kern
What Frank ruined: Kern's cabinet nod
How he ruined it: By blaming Kern for an inflammatory college newspaper article
Why he ruined it: Because Kern got the job promised to Frank
Michael Kern was the first of many of Frank Underwood's House of Cards victims. As soon as he was handed the job promised to Frank, Underwood's camp was quick to smear him. Kern's nomination was withdrawn after he was linked to an anti-Israel op-ed from his college newspaper that he didn't actually write. The piece was actually written by hippie crackpot Roy Kapeniak.
23.Edward Meechum
What Frank ruined: Meechum's inevitable hookup with Claire
How he ruined it: By inserting himself into the action
Why he ruined it: Because Meechum is a hunk
If Claire and Meechum wanted to invite a man into a three-way, you have to imagine that Kevin Spacey fifteen years after American Beauty would be pretty far down the list. Sure, Frank had the juice to attract Chris Cooper's closeted angry Army man back in the day ...
... but that was a long time ago.
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21.David Rasmussen
What Frank ruined: Rasmussen's political standing
How he ruined it: By spreading rumors of a leadership challenge
Why he ruined it: Because Rasmussen refused to mount a leadership challenge
Underwood went to Rasmussen to get him onboard with a coup against Speaker of the House Bob Birch. When he refused, Frank told Birch that Rasmussen was after his job, leading to his dismissal as majority leader.
20.Marty Spinella
What Frank ruined: The teacher's strike
How he ruined it: By goading Spinella into punching him
Why he ruined it: Because Spinella opposed Frank's anti-union legislation
In crafting a more moderate education bill than Blythe's, Frank moved to severely weaken teachers' unions. Following the move, lobbyist Marty Spinella went on the offensive, calling for a massive strike. Frank eventually goaded Marty into punching him, which provided the leverage needed to squash the strike and Spinella's credibility. This ensured that teachers would continue to make $35,000 a year for a 60 hour work week, and that Republicans would have one less thing to yell about.
19.Linda Vasquez
What Frank ruined: Her job
How he ruined it: By causing her to resign as Chief of Staff
Why he ruined it: Because she worked for Walker
Like so many other characters on House of Cards, Linda was merely collateral damage. Walker screwed over Frank, and Linda worked for Walker, so Linda had to go. Frank staged the argument that caused a rift between Linda and the President, leading to her resignation as Chief of Staff. But, Frank did get her son into Stanford, so at least she got something out of the deal.
Chances are Linda will bounce back into the political arena with little trouble. Frank says she's "tough as a two dollar steak" which is just the sort of folksy Southern description he reserves for survivors in the world of House of Cards.
18.Raymond Tusk
What Frank ruined: Tusk's business interests
How he ruined it: By undermining Tusk's dealings with the Chinese
Why he ruined it: Because Tusk proved a worthy adversary to Frank
Throughout season two, Frank and Raymond were embroiled in a political and economic struggle revolving around trade with China. We'll skip all of the juicy plot points regarding currency manipulation. All you need to know is that there was some back and forth that ended with Tusk testifying against his longtime friend President Walker. This lead to Tusk's arrest and Walker's resignation.
17.Tricia Walker
What Frank ruined: Her marriage
How he ruined it: By convincing her that President Walker was being unfaithful
Why he ruined it: Because her husband was the President
It wasn't enough for Frank to destroy the Walkers professionally. He and Claire went after their personal lives too, and the foundations of the Walkers marriage didn't prove too hard to shake. In the second season, Claire casually drops the line, "I just don't like women who sleep with their bosses," regarding a White House employee, and moments later we see Trish Googling marriage counselors. We can rest assured that the Walkers return to "private life" in Colorado is going to involve a lot of "constructive dialogue aimed at rebuilding trust."
16.The Neighbors' Dog
What Frank ruined: The dog's ability to breathe
How did he ruin it: By strangling it
Why did he ruin it: Because it got hit by a car
In the opening moments of the series, Frank strangles a dog after it's a victim of a hit and run. He assumes he is putting the dog out its misery, though we never get a look at the poor guy to judge for ourselves. Regardless of Underwood's intentions, there is definitely a crime against tasteful symbolism and metaphor committed in this scene that is unforgivable.
15.Adam Galloway
What Frank ruined: Galloway's artistic credibility
How he ruined it: By making him appear like a publicity hungry hack
Why he ruined it: Because Galloway banged Frank's wife and wouldn't lie about it
As far as Frank and Claire are concerned, a healthy marriage is sustained with a certain amount of extramarital activity. But, this freedom is tolerated as long as it doesn't negatively impact their careers. Adam Galloway is the sexy British photographer that every woman wishes they banged in their twenties, just the kind of man you would imagine Claire took to bed in her youth. All would have been well if Adam could have stayed away from the Underwoods and stuck to his hot young wife, pretentious photography career, and impossibly large photography studio.
Of course, he couldn't—because once you go Claire Underwood, you never go back. Adam is ultimately forced to tell the world that he forged his nudes of Claire as a tacky publicity stunt.
14.Ted Havemeyer
What Frank ruined: A Havemeyer family secret
How he ruined it: By advising Havemeyer's protege to turn on him
Why he ruined it: Because Havemeyer was mentoring the person Frank wanted to mentor
In season two, up and coming congresswoman Jackie Sharp needs to make a decision: should she advance her career or protect her longtime friend and mentor from the prying press? She goes to Frank Underwood for advice, and you'll never guess what he encourages her to do ...
13.Janine Skorsky
What Frank ruined: Her career
How he ruined her: By intimidating her into self-imposed exile in academia
Why he ruined her: Because she was a good journalist
As many recent college grads know, going back to your hometown to live with your parents is the worst. Janine has it worse than most, as her return to the nest wasn't motivated by millennial unemployment, but by the threat of politically motivated assassination. As of this writing, she seems doomed to a life teaching college-level journalism and collecting tamales on RateMyProfessor.
12.Freddy Hayes
What Frank ruined: Freddy's restaurant business
How he ruined it: By trying to help him
Why he ruined it: Because everything Frank touches turns to shit
Even when Frank Underwood tries to be helpful, he destroys everything in his wake. After Frank attempted to assist him with expanding his beloved rib joint, Freddy became a political target for those trying to get to Underwood. This lead to the franchising plans being destroyed, his restaurant being sold, and his son violating parole. Hey, what are friends for?
At least Freddy had no illusions about the whole ordeal.
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10.Garrett Walker
What Frank ruined: Walker's Presidency
How he ruined it: By creating a scandal that caused his resignation
Why he ruined it: Because Walker snubbed Frank for Secretary of State
It's amazing that President Walker didn't know not to mess with Frank Underwood. The man's reputation precedes him, and Walker's weak ass isn't even close to a match for Frank. The man seems outmatched by his staffers and Secret Service agents, let alone a guy delivers diabolical monologues with bar-b-que sauce all over his face. But, for some reason Walker decided to mess with the bull, and he got the horns.
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8.Darnell Hayes
What Frank ruined: Darnell's parole
How he ruined it: By bringing Darnell unwanted media attention
Why he ruined it: Because Darnell was an unintended consequence of political feuding
Though he only appears in House of Cards briefly, Darnell earns two distinctions in his one-episode stint. This is Underwood's most indirect screwing over, as Darnell's parole violation is a byproduct of Frank's enemies going after Freddy. Darnell is also the least nuanced in a slew of broadly drawn House of Cards characters. In 2015, television creators can somehow still introduce young parole-violating black men into their storyline even if they are totally irrelevant to the story.
7.Sarah and Kevin Russo
What Frank ruined: Their family
How he ruined it: By murdering their father
Why he ruined it: Because they're cute kids on a prestige drama, and something terrible was bound to happen
Like a good baby boomer, Frank Underwood is already busy screwing over the younger generations through his self-serving actions. Though the Russo kids come from a broken home with an addict father, at least they had a dad before Frank Underwood came along.
6.Rachel Posner
What Frank ruined: Her life
How he ruined it: By exposing her to a controlling obsessive
Why he ruined it: Because she became a part of Frank's dirty work
When you become an escort after escaping your abusive father, you probably think things can't get much worse. If you're Rachel Posner, you would be wrong. Early on in the series, Posner accepts a cash payment from Underwood associate Doug Stamper in exchange for her silence. A season later, she's found herself a kept woman controlled by Stamper, before murdering him after a roadside misunderstanding.
So yeah, things can get a lot worse.
5.Lucas Goodwin
What Frank ruined: Goodwin's criminal record
How he ruined it: By setting Goodwin up for data theft crimes
Why he ruined it: Because Goodwin fell in unrequited love with a girl who was totally out of his league
No one deserves to be set up for federal crimes by a hacker turned FBI informant, but Lucas's moping and sniveling ever since his first date with Zoe was enough to make us root for his swift exit from the series. The tortured lover is now doing a decade in lockdown for trying to get to the bottom of Zoe's murder. If Lucas hadn't gone to jail, he would have probably just spent his days mansplaining feminism to interns or something, so honestly, we as the audience might be better off. At least we have Lucas to thank for this line:
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3.Xander Feng
What Frank ruined: Feng's life
How he ruined it: By exposing Feng's corrupt business practices to the Chinese government
Why he ruined it: Because Feng was an ally of Tusk
Unfortunately for Xander Feng, the punishment for corruption is a bit stiffer in China than it is Stateside. While Tusk can expect to get off with a slap on the wrist and maybe minimal jail time, Feng looks set to receive the death penalty following his extradition to China at the end of season two. Underwood only arranges for Feng's return to China after promising him immunity in order to get valuable information from him, managing to make Feng's probable execution sting even worse.
2.Peter Russo
What Frank ruined: Russo's life (that is, Frank killed him)
How he ruined it: By owning Russo, alienating his constituents, enabling his addiction, and ultimately killing him
Why he ruined it: Because Russo didn't have the stomach for the game
Underwood systematically ruined a man's life, and his victim's only crime was getting in over his head. Damn, his arc hurt so good. But the greatest victim in Russo's downfall wasn't his family, his constituents, or even Russo himself: it was the audience. A void was left with the absence of Corey Stoll's masterful work on House of Cards.
1.Zoe Barnes
What Frank ruined: Her life (that is, Frank killed her)
How he ruined it: By tossing her ass in front of a subway car
Why he ruined it: Because she got nosy enough that their romance was no longer worth it
Poor Zoe Barnes is easily the most screwed over of all of President's Underwood's victims. Sure, Underwood has been responsible for a handful of deaths, but none as sudden as Zoe's. There were no touching parting word for Barnes like there were for Frank Russo. There was no satisfyingly diabolical political trap like there was for Xander Feng. Frank just threw her ass in front of a subway car while wearing a fedora. That's about as cold as it gets.