Image via Complex Original
We have the same complaints as you. After so many evenings spent staring at the computer screen, you've watched all the good stuff Netflix has to offer. You start to count down the days until they stream new titles. You even start to contemplate communication with the outside world. Don't do it.
Rather than scrolling through Netflix's instant library looking for Criterion Collection titles, think outside the red envelope. In the dusty corners of the site, far away from the algorithms that predict what you might enjoy, there is some truly strange shit.
These are the 25 Weirdest Movies Streaming on Netflix Right Now.
RELATED: The 25 Best Dramas Streaming on Netflix Right Now
RELATED: The 25 Best Foreign Movies Streaming on Netflix Right Now
RELATED: The Best Horror Movies on Netflix Right Now
RELATED: The 25 Best Action Movies Streaming on Netflix Right Now
RELATED: The 25 Best Independent Movies Streaming on Netflix Right Now
Written by Brenden Gallagher (@muddycreekU)
The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant (1971)
Director: Anthony M. Lanza
Stars: Bruce Dern, Pat Priest, Casey Kasem, Albert Cole
Dr. Roger Girard is just trying to help his son. Unfortunately, he has some unorthodox ideas about how to help. Girard's research on head transplantation has been going pretty well, and he decides it's time to give his son, who has the mental capacity of an 8-year-old, another head.
Pops isn't picky, and opts to add the head of a psychotic killer to his son's body. Surprisingly, chaos ensues.
Scream Blacula Scream (1973)
Director: Bob Kelljan
Stars: William Marshall, Don Mitchell, Pam Grier, Michael Conrad
When seeking revenge on your mother, you shouldn't enlist a vampire to do your bidding. This is a lesson B-movie characters have to learn over and over again.
This time, the lesson involves the vampire Mamuwalde—you can call him Blacula—who's seeking a voodoo cure for his vampirism.
Angel Unchained (1970)
Director: Lee Madden
Stars: Don Stroud, Luke Askew, Larry Bishop, Tyne Daly, T. Max Graham
You can try to leave your old life behind for a more contemplative existence, but there's always gonna be a gang of dune-buggy riders waiting in the wings to hold you back.
Not much can compel a biker gang to join forces with a group of hippies, but when buggy-riding ranchers start to cause problems, Angel must unite the two groups, who wear their hair long for very different reasons, to defeat a common foe.
Paintball (2009)
Director: Daniel Benmayor
Stars: Brendan Mackey, Jennifer Matter, Patrick Regis, Iaione Pérez, Neil Maskell, Anna Casas
Younger cousins of the world unite! There's finally a film about paintball. Just as you aren't supposed to bring a gun to a knife fight, you really shouldn't bring a gun to a paintball match. But nobody told the psychopath who starts dispatching the participants in Paintball.
Luckily, paintball is known to be a great team-building activity, so we wager they'll figure something out before they're all reduced to goggle-wearing corpses.
Dreamaniac (1986)
Director: David DeCouteau
Stars: Thomas Bern Ashlyn Gere, Sylvia Summers, Brent Black
Much has been written about the power of music, but what about the power of heavy metal specifically? In this instance, heavy metal has the power to reincarnate a dead woman—only, she comes back as a murderous succubus.
Goes to show, next time you need to reanimate your lover's corpse, use Al Jarreau.
The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955)
Director: David Kramarsky
Stars: Paul Birch, Lorna Thayer, Dona Cole, Dick Sargent
How do you stop an alien that can inhabit creatures all around you, from family pets to the local handyman? If you guessed "a family's love," you are correct. If you guessed "high-powered weaponry," we understand.
The Immortalizer (1989)
Director: Joel Bender
Stars: Ron Ray, Melody Patterson, Chris Crone, Greg Joujon-Roche
Many young, politically active types have been complaining about our generational position: paying into our elders' retirement, while we can't expect the same level of social security ourselves. We should consider ourselves lucky though—because what if they were taking our bodies?
The Immortalizer considers this question, as some pretty young things try to escape a demented doctor who wants to give their nubile young parts to old folks.
This is Not A Movie (2011)
Director: Olallo Rubio
Stars: Edward Furlong, Peter Coyote, Edi Gathegi, Julian Sedgwick
If you ever wondered what was going on with Edward Furlong, aka Lil John Connor, you have your answer: He has not been making movies. Because this is not a movie. It's just a thing where Edward Furlong plays three versions of himself.
Ninja Cheerleaders (2006)
Director: David Presley
Stars: George Takei, Micahel Paré, Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick
Students have to deal with so many different pressures these days. For these ladies, they have to find time to cheerlead, strip, keep their GPAs on point, AND rescue their sensei.
If you've ever wondered what it might be like to see a star of The Real World: Las Vegas team up with Star Trek-er and Internet sensation George Takei, there is a movie for you.
Creep Van (2012)
Director: Scott W. Mckinlay
Stars: Brian Kolodziej, Amy Wehrell, Gerald Emerick, Collin Bersen
Many of you have been in a position where you'd do anything for a car. Let this film serve as a cautionary tale. Campbell, our young hero, is hard up for cash, and just needs some wheels. The lack of discretion caused by his dwindling bank account results in his purchase of the Creep Van, a booby-trapped killer van. Dude should have just taken the bus.
Headhunter: The Assessment Weekend (2010)
Director: Sebastian Panneck
Stars: Keith Blaser, Manuel Cortez, Mareike Fell, Jesse Inman
Most company retreats turn out pretty terribly: There are at least a dozen episodes of The Office about this. No Dunder Mifflin retreat was ever this bad, though. Hopeful applicants seeking a position at the Takahashi Logistics Corporation learn that the "survival exercises" they've been asked to participate in are going to be pretty literal, as their fellow applicants start to die.
Resisting temptation to make joke about competitive job market...OK, it passed, let's move on.
1313: Frankenqueen (2012)
Director: David DeCouteau
Stars: Helen Udy, Connor Weil, Jarrid Balis, Tyler P. Scott
For many years, B-movie houses have brought us films that are little more than flimsy excuses for parades of naked women. The 1313 franchise has set out to settle the score, with their series of poorly plotted excuses for beefcake.
In this installment, a group of attractive, shirtless men agree to be test subjects for plastic surgeon, Victoria Franks. By the time the unsuspecting hunks learn the doctor's nefarious plans, it might be too late!
Yoga: The Movie
Director: Yun Jae-yeon
Stars: Yoo-Jin, Su-yeon Cha, Daniel Choi, Eun-ji Jo, Young-jin Lee
We've always wondered why ladies are so deeply comitted to yoga. You might have thought that it was for the post-class fro-yo session, or for the physical benefits. Nah, B. It's the witchcraft.
If you don't believe us, spend an hour and a half with Hyo-Jung and her fellow yogis.
Mega Shark VS. Crocosaurus (2009)
Director: Christopher Ray
Stars: Jaleel White, Gary Stretch, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo
That's right folks: With this film, Jaleel White, better known to the world as Steve Urkel, makes his triumphant return. Don't be fooled though, these are no mere Family Matters—these are Mega Shark and Crocosaurus matters!
The film is both ridiculous and ridiculously confusing, as the weak plot is riddled with unnecessary holes. For example, the crocodile lays hundreds of eggs all over the planet after only being free for a few hours; the crocodile emerges from his cave at the beginning of the film, yet can't fit into the cave only a little while later. Don't worry, we're sure the film wraps up nicely, as Netflix promises that eventually, the characters "turn to a volcano for aid."
Iron Sky (2012)
Director: Timo Vuorensola
Stars: Julia Dietze, Christopher Kirby, Götz Otto, Udo Kier, Peta Sergeant
Pop quiz: Was Nazi Germany vanquished in 1945? Nope! The remainder of the Third Reich have just been biding their time on the moon, plotting their return to Earth for the conquest of America.
Iron Sky is not only unconventional in terms of plot, but it's one of a small group of films that have been developed via online communities, a strategy referred to as "participatory cinema." We're not sure it'll make it.
The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine (1974)
Director: Sergio Grieco
Stars: Francoise Prevost, Jenny Tamburi, Paolo Malco, Franco Ressel
This film is referred to as a "nunsploitation flick." The rule of the day at this convent is that if something is worth being done, it's worth being done topless, whether that's getting tortured, contending with drought, or slowly losing your grip on reality. For those of you who are lured in, at least go in with this review that lists all of the "random gratuitous breast shots" in the film.
Zeta One (1969)
Director: Michael Cort
Stars: James Robertson, Justice, Charles Hawtrey, Robin Hawdon, Anna Gaël
Viewers of Zeta One have been consistently amazed at how a movie with so many topless women can test your patience so thoroughly. How does this film achieve the grand feat of both delivering half-naked ladies while also annoying horny late-night viewers?
We don't want to spoil the magic for you, but rest assured that "zapping henchmen with hand gestures (accompanied by thunderclaps on the soundtrack for effect)" and a "temperamental talking elevator" are involved.
FDR: American Badass (2012)
Director: Gerrett Brawith
Stars: Barry Bostick, Lin Shaye, Bruce McGill, Ray Wise, Kevin Sorbo
It's good to see that Hollywood is finally satisfying our collective need to see former presidents kick ass. If Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter piqued your interest in presidential vs. paranormal conflict, it's time to watch FDR defeat Nazi werewolves in hopes of preventing the further spread of polio.
Any student of American history knows that FDR was one tough SOB. You can rest assured that there will be no New Deal for these Axis lycanthropes.
Dracula's Fiancée (2002
Director: Jean Rollin
Stars: Cyrille Iste, Jacques Regis, Thomas Smith, Sandrine Thoquet
The 1970s were a great decade for art, particularly lesbian vampire art. Jean Rollin was to this genre what John Ford was to westerns. Don't worry though, if lesbian vampires aren't your cup of tea, the film has so much more to offer, including a midget, an ogress, and she-wolf.
No matter which lesbian monster is your favorite, this film will pull you in and get you hoping that Dracula's wedding goes off without a hitch, despite the female supernatural characters' collective need to experiment.
Dead End Drive-In (1986)
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Stars: Ned Manning, Natalie McCurry, Peter Whitford, Wilbur Wilde
You don't see drive-in movie theatres these days. And you really never see drive-in movie theatres that are actually concentration camps. Granted, that's a good thing. We're not nostalgic for the days when you could hop in your car and take your girl for a night of white-power indoctrination and fast-food force-feeding.
Hellavator: The Bottled Fools (2005)
Director: Hiroki Yamaguchi
Stars: Luchiano Fujisaki, Yoshiichi Kawada, Ryôsuke Koshiba, Kae Minami
If you've ever been stuck in an elevator, you know that folks can get irrational real quick. Imagine a dystopian future where life takes place underground and all travel is conducted by elevator. Now imagine if something went wrong with that elevator. Now imagine that what went wrong with the elevator was engineered to create a "most dangerous game" scenario. We know it's hard, but now imagine that that's a movie.
Chasing the Kidneystone
Director: Vibeke Idsøe
Stars: Torbjörn T. Jensen, Jenny Skavlan, Benjamin Helstad, Kjersti Holmen
When your grandfather gets a kidney stone, you have two choices: You can stand idly by and let the thing runs its course, or you can go inside the old man's body and take on the kidney stone mano-a-mano. We'll give you one guess what choice young Simon makes.
The dutiful grandson teams up with white blood cell Mapster and Alveole, a gal who lives in the old man's lungs, to take down the internal intruder. They make quite a trio, but will they be able to defeat the kidney stone before it's too late?
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Director: Nicholas Webster
Stars: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Victor Styles
When the Martian children begin watching too much TV as an act of rebellion against their ridgidly structured lives, there's only one man who can save the day: Santa Claus. Of course, it isn't that easy.
Sure, some Martians are happy to have Santa on their planet, but others—want him to die!
Gor (1987)
Director: Fritz Kiersch
Stars: Urbano Barberini, Rebecca Ferratti, Jack Palance, Paul L. Smith
Based on a book of the same name, Gor is a fairy tale for academics. After being turned down by his TA while trying to get some T&A, a professor is transported to a fantasy world where he falls in love with a barbarian princess.
We're sure you'll be shocked to hear that the film was panned for its "portrayal of women characters as being slaves to men."
1. Rubber (2010)
Director: Quentin Dupieux
Stars: Stephen Spinella, Jack Plotnick, Wings Hauser, Roxane Mesquiada, Ethan Cohn, Charley Koontz
We have seen many anthropomorphized objects on film, from the Pixar lamp to the Brave Little Toaster, but this animated tire takes the cake. The difference between the tire (billed in the credits as "Robert") and most animated objects is that this rubber wheel has a thirst for blood. How does a tire go about killing people? That's easy: It uses telekinesis.
We won't spoil too much, but if you find yourself near this tire, you'd better hope your head is screwed on tight, because it's more than rubber that's gonna burn.