Laverne Cox is sharing some of the most painful chapters of her life ahead of the release of her memoir Transcendent, revealing that she survived sexual assault as a teenager and attempted suicide when she was just 11 years old.
The actress, activist, and Orange Is the New Black star revisits those experiences in the book, which arrives June 9. According to People, Cox said writing about the events forced her to confront feelings she had carried for decades, particularly the shame that followed years of bullying, rejection, and abuse.
One of the most difficult memories involved being sexually assaulted at age 13 by two older boys inside a church bathroom. Cox said the experience left her carrying a deep sense of unworthiness long after the abuse ended. “Shame is the intensely painful feeling that you’re unworthy of connection or belonging,” she explained. “If someone finds this out about me, I’ll never be worthy of love.”
The memoir also reveals that Cox attempted suicide two years earlier. At age 11, overwhelmed by the circumstances of her childhood, she swallowed a bottle of her mother's pills and woke up sick the following morning. She never told anyone what had happened.
Looking back, Cox credits two things with helping her survive that period: education and dance.
“Dancing and school kept me alive,” she said, noting that her mother's decision to support both pursuits ultimately changed the trajectory of her life.
Cox later attended the Alabama School of Fine Arts, where she continued developing the creative skills that would eventually launch her career.
Cox previously said the experience left her feeling “abandoned, unlovable, and discarded.”
Cox has said revisiting those memories while writing the memoir was emotionally exhausting and, at times, re-traumatizing. Yet she also discovered something else in the process.
“Writing this book brought back all the traumatic, awful shaming from my childhood,” Cox said. “But there was also a very resilient child.”
Today, Cox says she no longer defines herself through those experiences. Instead, she views them as part of a larger journey that led her to self-acceptance.
“I love myself, and everything that I've gone through has made me who I am today,” she said. “I feel a sense of worthiness now.”
Transcendent is scheduled for release on June 9.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, confidential support is available through the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online at rainn.org.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day in the United States.
