Image via Complex Original
This is one of those rare years when the major Judeo-Christian holidays align, with Lent leading into Passover, and both Orthodox and traditional Easter on April 20th. Publican Jimmy Carbone—owner of Jimmy's No. 43 and host of Beer Sessions Radio on Heritage Radio Network—considers this time of year a “beautiful season of beer.” Inspired by a blogger who decided to live on beer for Lent, Jimmy teamed up with six East Village beer purveyors (ABC Beer Co., Burp Castle, d.b.a., Eastwood, Malt & Mold, and Top Hops) to celebrate “Liquid Lent.”
Some of the world’s greatest beers are created for Lent, and the nutritional profile of late winter/early spring beers highlight malt. Traditionally, Monks would eat only one simple meal per day from September through Easter, so “Monk’s Beer” became a staple of their diet. Typically, these were high-malt, low-ABV beers, but today’s Trappist and Belgian-style ales come in all flavors and alcohol levels. We wondered what would happen if the apostles came to town in need of a drink and a Lenten meal. So, with apologies to the truly faithful, WWJD—What Would Jesus Drink? And what foods would he pair with his brew?
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Lembeek 86 by Other Half Brewing Co.
Type/abv: American Blonde Ale/5.9%
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Website: otherhalfbrewing.com
Monk's Meal: Cold roasted kale and cabbage salad with rye crackers
Apostle who would drink it: Simon-Peter
Jesus had many ardent followers, but none of his disciples was probably closer to him than Peter, who probably considered himself the Nazarene's "Other Half." Made with 100% Brettanomyces, Other Half Brewing Co.'s Lembeek 86 would be just session-able enough to keep doing the Lord's work. And Peter would want to drink local, so Brooklyn would be his go-to borough for a beer. Of course, the next day he would deny ever having drank it.
Shiso & Szechuan Honey Pale Ale by Big Alice Brewing
Type/abv: American Pale Ale/12.8%
Location: Queens, NY
Website: bigalicebrewing.com
Monk's Meal: "Granma" style pizza: day-old peasant bread toasted with marinara sauce and cheese scraps
Apostle who would drink it: James, aka "James the Greater."
Religions seem to like things in threes, and along with Simon-Peter, brothers James and John made up Jesus' inner-circle. Chances are James would want to stick close by, but since he's also known as "James the Greater," we're guessing he'd go for a big beer and a big meal, but not some run-of-the-mill mass-produced brew. He'd love all the beers at Queens' Big Alice Brewing, which recently debuted a couple kegs at NYC Brewer's Choice.
Bridge and Tunnel Brewery’s Slaughter House Stampeed
Type/abv: Black Rye IPA/8.0%
Location: Queens, NY
Website: bridgeandtunnelbrewery.com
Monk's Meal: Challah bread fried with scallions
Apostle who would drink it: John
James' brother John would follow along to Queens, but be intrigued by Bridge and Tunnel's dark beer with the frothy head. It's bitter (80 IBUs) and strong, with roasted malts and a chocolaty finish. And as John is the only apostle to watch Jesus' crucifixion, he obviously would not be scared off by the name of this beer.
Barrier Brewing’s Copernicus
Type/abv: Cream Ale/5.7%
Location: Oceanside, NY
Website: barrierbrewing.com
Monk's Meal: Plain yogurt sweetened with real maple syrup
Apostle who would drink it: Andrew
Interestingly, Andrew was the first apostle to sign up, but it was his brother who took center stage. Andrew was content to hang back, but he did contribute in a couple of key places according to the Gospels. Andrew was a fisherman, and he was the one to tell Jesus about the loaves and the fishes. And, like a good "fisher of men," Andrew would probably venture out to Long Island to drink. From all the options out there, I think he'd be intrigued by a beer named after another early adopter of controversial ideas: Copernicus, a sweet, crisp, easy-drinking cream ale.
Three Philosophers by Brewery Ommegang
Type/abv: Quadrupel/9.8%
Location: Cooperstown, NY
Website: ommegang.com
Monk's Meal: Gruel
Apostle who would drink it: Bartholomew, aka Nathanael
Most of us hear "gruel" and think of something out of Dickens or The Shawshank Redemption. In fact, during a long, cold, lonely winter, gruel—boiled grains with vegetables—is serious comfort food. The apostle, Bartholomew (Jesus had a thing for renaming his followers; dude's original name was Nathanael) was skeptical about the whole "Messiah" thing, but he knew the real deal when he saw it (Jesus said Nathanael was a "man without deception"). Which is why he'd want to travel to Cooperstown himself, to sit under the cerulean skies that overlook Brewery Ommegang. He'd pair his honest meal with Three Philosophers Quad...and be a man forever changed.
KelSo’s Recessionator
Type/abv: Dopplebock/8.0%
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Website: kelsobeer.com
Monk's Meal: Sauerkraut pierogies
Apostle who would drink it: Philip
KelSo of Brooklyn is part of the larger Greenpoint Beerworks, which is actually located in Clinton Hill. But as north Brooklyn has some of the best pierogies on the planet, we'd suggest pairing Recessionator with a nice sauerkraut pierogi for an ideal monk's meal. Not a lot is known about the apostle, Philip, but he tended to "go his own way,"so he'd probably appreciate the work by KelSo brewmaster Kelly Taylor.
Rushing Duck Brewing’s Kroovy
Type/abv: Imperial Red Ale/9.0%
Location: Chester, NY
Website: rushingduck.com
Monk's Meal: Mushroom soup
Apostle who would drink it: Simon the Zealot
Philip isn't the only apostle who doesn't get much play in scripture; Simon (aka Simon the Zealot) is barely mentioned in the Bible. So, let's assume (given his zealotry) that he would venture out to spread the word. I think he'd head north, get off the beaten MetroNorth track, and end up at Rushing Duck in Chester, NY. He'd think the Kroovy was groovy and proselytize his way up the Hudson Valley.
Peekskill Brewery’s Share the Rainbow
Type/abv: Witbier/4.5%
Location: Peekskill, NY
Website: thepeekskillbrewery.com
Monk's Meal: Ploughman's Platter from the brewery's menu
Apostle who would drink it: Judas, aka Thaddeus
Apparently turn-of-the-current-era Judae had a problem with naming boys, because everyone seems to have the same seven names, but nobody had it worse among the apostles than Thaddeus, whose actual name was Judas. Of course, he was overshadowed by another Judas, but he also is barely mentioned in the Gospels. I'm guessing he'd also want to explore the Hudson Valley, but he'd get sidetracked by Peekskill Brewery's amazing line-up of beers. Thaddeus would want to keep his wits about him owing to his unfortunate birth name, so he'd go for Share the Rainbow Witbier.
Newburgh Brewing’s Hop Drop
Type/abv: Double IPA/10%
Location: Newburgh, PA
Website: newburghbrewing.com
Monk's Meal: Vegetable broth with carrots and noodles
Apostle who would drink it: James, aka "James the Lesser, son of Alphaeus"
Another dually-named disciple, James the Lesser is the least known apostle. I'm guessing he ventured off to do his own thing, which for Liquid Lent would be helping clean up the streets of Newburgh, NY, a town that is definitely transitioning. He'd need a big beer for this big job, and he'd like that Hop Drop from Newburgh Brewing company was unfiltered with both American and English hops.
Spencer Brewing’s Spencer Ale
Type/abv: Trappist (Patersbier)/6.5%
Location: Spencer, MA
Website: spencerbrewery.com
Monk's Meal: Fruit and cheese
Apostle who would drink it: Thomas
The term "doubting Thomas" came courtesy of this apostle, who had his doubts about Jesus. I think he'd take a pilgrimage to the first (and only) Trappist brewery in the U.S., Spencer Brewing in Spencer, MA. The brothers at Spencer are truth-seekers, having spent two years studying Trappist brewing, including a stint at Westmalle and Westvleteren in Belgium. Their true Trappist beer is an unfiltered and unpasteurized "full-bodied, golden-hued ale with fruity accents, a dry finish and light hop bitterness." We think Thomas would doubt no more after drinking this monk's brew.
Curmudgeon by Founders Brewing Co.
Type/abv: Old Ale/9.8%
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Website: foundersbrewing.com
Monk's Meal: Vegetarian cassoulet
Apostle who would drink it: Matthew, aka Levi
Of all the apostles, Matthew (formerly Levi) is perhaps the most complex. Whereas Peter and Judas Iscariot seem to have started out well but ended in one betrayal or another, Levi was a tax collector before he joined up with Jesus. He probably wouldn't give a darn about staying with the group, drinking local, or even necessarily drinking a beer that is "lent appropriate." I think he'd take one look in the mirror and see an old curmudgeon staring back, and he'd head straight for Founders Brewing Co. for their old ale, a 2010 GABF Silver medalist that is brewed with molasses and then oak-aged. Its malty richness would pair well with a cassoulet, but the end result of such a meal would probably be Matthew getting gouty.
3Floyds’ Dark Lord
Type/abv: Russian Imperial Stout/15%
Location: Munster, IN
Website: 3floyds.com
Monk's Meal: N/A
Apostle who would drink it: Judas Ascariot
There's a little brewpub in western Indiana that makes some of the best—and most sought-after—beer in the country. It's almost impossible to find 3Floyds outside of metro-Chicago, but every once in a while, a "mystery" beer will appear off-menu at bars around the city. People in the know flock there and drink dry a keg or a case, paying exorbitant prices (possibly as high as 30 pieces of silver). Let's face it, if anybody would know where to get illegal beer, it would be Judas Iscariot. And we all know that he would gravitate towards the beer that represented his true nature, which would undoubtedly be Dark Lord, an infamous Russian Imperial Stout around which 3Floyds has created an entire event (seriously; every April they host a death metal music festival where they release the beer one per ticket holder). And Judas probably would drink this stuff on an empty stomach, only feeling guilty about it after it was too late.
He’Brew Shmaltz Brewing’s Funky Jewbelation
Type/abv: American Strong Ale/9.4%
Location: Clifton Park, NY
Website: shmaltzbrewing.com
Monk's Meal: A traditional Seder dinner: Boiled potato, parsley, Matzah, hard-boiled egg, roast lamb and Charoset.
Apostle who would drink it: N/A
Hey, WWJD—What Would Jesus Drink? He'd want a beer big enough to enjoy at a last supper, and this American Strong Ale would be just the type of brew that Jesus would want to share with his flock. Plus, coming from Shmaltz Brewing just outside Albany, it would surely be a hit. Because, you know, Jesus was Jewish. And one funky dude.