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Imaginary Players: 11 Rapper Video Games We Need to See
At first we were amped to hear that Drake was going to be voicing a character in next spring's Gears of War 3, but then Gears developer Epic Games—led by the ever-soundbitey Cliff Bleszinski—hit us with the daily double news that Ice-T would be joining him. The Ice-T part had already kinda been leaked by the ponytailed O.G. himself, then retracted, so the fact that it's official makes GoW 3 the most rapper-friendly non-rap title, like, ever. And by non-rap title, we mean shit that isn't a) Def Jam Vendetta, b) 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, or c) Havoc and Prodigy Fuck Around in Smurfland. Okay, so maybe that last one isn't real, but the fact remains that as people who love both rap and video games, we're amped to finally see rappers get video-game work in some real shit. So amped, in fact, that we had to cook up some more potential game projects for some of our favorite MCs. Developers, if you're reading this: you're welcome. You're aaaallllll welcome!
Bully: Broad Street Edition
BEANIE SIGEL IN BULLY: BROAD STREET EDITION
After Jimmy Hopkins' last rampage, Bullworth Academy has brought in a new headmaster, and he's got a new school motto: "Get Down Or Lay Down." Sandbox fun with State Prop's finest!
Super Barrio Bros.
<strong>CHINGO BLING IN <em>SUPER BARRIO BROS.</em></strong><br>
Fuck a plumber—everyone's favorite Houston tortilla master is going 2-D sidescroller, busting through border walls to defeat La Migra Koopa, a jingoistic turtle with a King-sized attitude, and rescue his lost love. Coño!
Diddy Kong Racing
<strong>DIDDY IN <em>DIDDY KONG RACING</em></strong><br>
Bad boys might move in silence, but they also whip a mean drift and unleash a barrage of turtle shells to rob a motherfucker of his publishing! If you thought dude's drunken ad-libs on that Jay Electronica joint were bad, you should hear the Ciroc-slurred taunts as he runs you off the road.
Grand Theft Auto: Arizona
<strong>DMX IN <em>GRAND THEFT AUTO: ARIZONA</em></strong><br>
Rockstar's done it again, with an open-world crime spree set in Maricopa County. Want to drive 120 mph? Do it! Want to do it drunk? Do it! Want to impersonate an officer and try to take someone's car? Do that shit! It's Arizona, fam—ANYTHING GOES!
Uncharted 3
<strong>DRAKE IN <em>UNCHARTED 3: DRAKE'S MISFORTUNE</em></strong><br>
Sure, Degrassi's Finest is already making a game, but that shouldn't stop him from stepping in to take over Naughty Dog's franchise. Who says treasure hunting is impossible with a torn ACL? He still ain't nothin' to play with!
Red Dead Redemption
<strong>GAME IN <em>RED DEAD REDEMPTION</em></strong><br>
Rockstar already proved that Western games are commercially viable, so it's time to show John Marston what the West is <em>really</em> about. New Austin, meet the Cedar Block Pirus—hope y'all boys can get along! How much is cowboy meat going for these days, anyway?
Ghost 'N Gobblin'
Pipe Mania
<strong>KAT STACKS IN <em>PIPE MANIA</em></strong><br>
Yes, there's a game called <em>Pipe Mania</em>. And no, we can't imagine anyone else with the authority that your girl Kat has. Word has it that the remake has cancelled its multiplayer modes, in fear of Xbox Live getting a horrible STD.
Halo: ODBST
<strong>BIG BABY JESUS IN <em>HALO: ODBST</em></strong><br>
After the all-but-assured success of prequel <em>Halo: Reach</em>, Bungie's going to realize the only thing that's missing from the Haloverse: the touching story of a young Brooklyn lad going absolutely apeshit on the Covenant. Ason Unique rollin' with ya boy Master Chief!
Cooking Mama: Chef Off
<strong>RAEKWON IN <em>COOKING MAMA: CHEF OFF</em></strong><br>
Nintendo's <strike>shovelware</strike> much-loved kitchen sim series is woefully incomplete without the culinary stylings of the man with the Cuban links. Simmer, saute, be the winner all day!
Fable 3
<strong>RICK ROSS IN <em>FABLE III</em></strong><br>He thinks he's Nino! He thinks he's Scarface! Bitch, he's Al Pacino! Thankfully, Lionhead Studios has enabled the Bawse to be whoever he wants to be in the long-awaited action RPG. Play your cards right, and you too could have 30 cars, a whole lotta dancers...take ’em everywhere...be MC Hammer!