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Haterz Everywhere: Video Games' Most Outspoken Critics
We here at Complex think that the best critic is the uninformed critic (word to Ayo! Scott). That said, we were all quite pleased when we heard that Roger Ebert slammed all video games (not to mention enraged millions of gamers) when he said that video games could never be considered art. We ain
BARACK OBAMA
Controversy: At the American Medical Association, President Obama tells the public that people can get more healthy by getting out the house more. He specifically points the finger at video games as a detriment to well-being. [Game Politics]
Complex says: Let's get one thing straight, Mr. President. We fucks with you, but don't come between a man and his video games. Are Americans fat? Sure. Are we lazy? Sure. Do we have a Vitamin-D deficiency due to lack of sunlight? Probably! But don't you ever say it's because of video games. Go buy a Wii and some activity games and learn yourself a lesson.
NINTENDO ON BIRDO
Controversy: The North American Nintendo offices make a change to the character Birdo. Before, he was a confused male who liked to dress a women and had a crush on Yoshi. Now, Birdo is a girl and even though fans everywhere have been upset, he has not been changed back.
Complex says:
So first it was a male, then it's a female, and now everyone wants it to be a male again? So what is it, a double post-op transexual? C'mon Nintendo, what are you doing to the kids?!
HILLARY CLINTON
Controversy: Hillary Clinton calls Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas a threat to morality and adds on by saying: "Children are playing a game that encourages them to have sex with prostitutes and then murder them. This is a silent epidemic of media desensitization that teaches kids it
JACK THOMPSON
Controversy: Florida lawyer (and every gamer's public enemy number one) Jack Thompson does his best to shut down "violent" video games. [Kotaku]
Complex says: What can you say about Jack Thompson's thoughts on video games? How about: "Wow, you're an idiot, and excuse me while i vomit." Seriously a lot of people dislike Bobby Kotick, but gamers all over the nation hate Jack Thompson. When the Supreme Court disbarred him, it was like watching that Sadaam statue fall. Victory!
JOE LIEBERMAN x HILLARY CLINTON
Controversy: Joe Lieberman and Hillary Clinton claim that the Wii has the potential to act out scenes from violent games through use of the Wii's Interactive technology.
Complex says: Fair enough, but you're worried about video games when your daughters and wives are using the shake weight?
JOEL ZUMAYA
Controversy: Detroit Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya takes an injury break due to intense wrist and forearm inflammation. The team blames Guitar Hero. [Deadspin]
Complex says: Alright Joel, we understand that when you're a professional athlete and there's a lot of pressure, but consider this! Perhaps the reason behind your "injury" isn't so much that you were playing Guitar Hero, but was in fact because you were sucking that tap like it was shower day on Oz. And that chick you're with is quite large.
NEW YORK MOTHER
Controversy: A mother sues the creators of Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly because her son suffers a seizure while playing. [Daily Tech]
Complex says: Video games always come with a label that warns against seizures, so if you're suing, you probably won't win—but nice try, nice try. We said it before and we'll say it again: Hand over the guap, Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly sucks.
WILLIAM S. SESSIONS
Controversy: FBI director William S. Sessions tries to use video games to stop the war on drugs.
Complex says: Winners don't use drugs. Technically, this isn't taking shots at anyone, but stoner gamers know what's up. William S. Sessions made the classic "Winners Don't Use Drugs" slogan popular by putting it in arcades so that kids everywhere would see it before they started playing. Sly move, Bill. Sly move indeed. We're on to you and your not-so-subliminal buzz-killing messages.